Tong Lohr, a first-generation scholar and disability accessibility professional, shares his experiences growing up in a family affected by disability suppression. As a disability specialist, Tong is dedicated to guiding students through the process of obtaining accommodations in higher education. He discusses his own journey and the challenges faced by his family, including language barriers and lack of support in navigating the school system. Tong emphasizes the importance of family support and work ethic in his upbringing. He also mentions the diverse community he grew up in, consisting of Hmong, Lao, Latino, and Black individuals, with limited exposure to white culture.
Welcome to Conversations Underneath the Sugar Palm Trees, Wayfinding Higher Education. I am your host, Jeremy Kooth, he, him pronouns. I have a special guest here today who is Tong Lohr. He's a first-generation scholar and up-and-coming professional in the disability accessibility realm of higher education. Driven by their own experiences with disability suppression within their own family, he takes pride in providing steps for students to achieve their goals. As a disability specialist, his primary goal functions are to meet students and guide them through their process for accommodations, then advocate with students on their accommodations.
He is extremely committed to working with students and guiding them through the process of higher education for accommodation, as it can be very exhausting. Welcome, Tong. Hey, thank you. Thank you, Jeremy, for inviting me to this podcast. Definitely be excited to be here. So definitely going to be talking through some things. Yeah, for sure. Appreciate it. So tell us a little bit more about yourself for our viewers, like the identities you carry and what do you currently do in higher education, a little bit more specifying a little bit more in depth, and how did you get into disability services out of all the things that you could do in life? Definitely.
So, yeah, I'm, like I mentioned, first-generation as well. I'm a male student as well, middle child, so that's also an identity that sometimes can be impacting, you know, the way you're brought up within different families. And kind of how I got to where I'm at is just basically how the Bible says, you know, family experiences. I have a brother who's deaf and experiencing just that within my own family, the suppression of him within, like, access to different events and things like that.
You just kind of see. And you didn't really learn until, like, later on, like, what to do or what to do. And I think school was kind of always the thing that I wanted to do. I didn't really go into that later in life. So that kind of led me to this path of, like, getting access to support, you know, individuals who can't really speak for themselves or needing support to guide them through the process of getting more access to things.
So definitely that's how I got there. And you said that you're, like, the middle child. So how many siblings do you have that are younger, that are a little bit older? Yeah, I have a big family. So we are seven, and I have five older siblings and two younger. So I'm, like, bottom half. But middle child, you tend to be one of those that are, like, forgotten, the way you think that you're forgotten most of the time.
Yeah, and you mentioned that you're a first-generation experience as well. Yeah. How was that like when you're, like, navigating that, you know, with your family and going through, you know, school? What were the challenges and experiences that you had growing up, especially in the Southeast Asian household as well? Yeah, so, yeah, I wasn't born in the United States. I was born in Thailand, refugee camp. So my parents came here as refugees in 94, or 92, I'm sorry, 92.
And I was about, like, two years old. So I don't really remember anything, like, back there. Right. But coming here at such a young age, the only older siblings that came here that were of school age was my older brother who was deaf, my older sister, and then me. So we started the school system together. And with that, there was, like, no navigation of support through what school looks like for anybody. We didn't know how to navigate school.
Parents didn't speak English. There was no translator at that time. So most of the time we had to translate ourselves. Or, like, any parent teaching conferences, we did that ourselves to our parents. They would do the translation of that. So that was, like, the difference in trying to communicate, you know, like, the different kind of schooling systems with them. So definitely those are just kind of some things that are, I want to say, that has a high impact on that.
But I think me and my sister's experience has paved the way for our younger siblings to kind of go through the school system themselves because they're about, like, two to four years younger than us. So we kind of help guide them through that as well. You know, that's interesting you said that because, you know, my family is a little bit smaller. But we have a big extended family. Everyone's, like, your cousins. Everyone's, like, your uncle or aunt, grandma, grandpa, even though they're not really blood related.
So, like, it was me and then it was my sister, right? And it was, like, my dad and my mom. And it was, like, you know, being first generation and having that immigrant experience as well, coming as refugees because they were in the, I think, the refugee Thailand camp as well. And I don't know if I shared this story, you know, publicly, but from what my dad shared with me is that he actually applied, you know, for asylum as refugees in, I think, Britain.
But then, you know, they filled up their quota. France filled the quota. Australia. So coming to the United States was their last choice. And when they came over, it was kind of like, you know, that stepping into a country that's not even your home, learning a new language. And I kind of resonate with what you were saying about, you know, speaking, you know, your native language or, like, you know, for me, Khmer and Cambodian and trying to communicate with my family.
The report card. Yeah. Right? Like, all they knew was, like, A's and B's. Yeah, that's for sure. I still remember that story. My sister got in trouble because she didn't have an F. The sex was an F. Oh, really? And then my dad got mad at my sister because he's like, you got an F in your report card. I'm like, no, that's my gender. I'm like. And, you know, like, so explaining that was, like, difficult already.
So I really resonate with the report card part because that was kind of, like, interesting. Yeah. I mean, growing up, you know, with your siblings and with your family here coming to, you know, coming to America, what are some childhood memories that stood out to you? Yeah. What were some of the community values or even just family cultural norms that you have to grow up? Also identify being a mom and first generation. Definitely it's a big family thing.
You know, family is a big importance. You know, we didn't look at, like, you similarly. We had family that were not cousins, cousins, but extended cousins in a sense. Same last name. So if you're the same last name, you're kind of related somehow. Either it's not by blood or somewhere distant you're related. So there's still those individuals, but they're not, like, close family where you can just talk to or things like that, that you can do things together.
So family was a big thing in terms of support. Biggest thing was, like, typical family, as I think everybody, but once in different was, like, my mom was mostly the provider and my dad was not the provider. My dad was the supporter. And I think I learned a lot of, like, my work ethic through my mom. She was the one that woke up early, go to work. My dad took us to school. And after school, my mom was home taking care of, like, everything else.
So kind of that work ethic. Like, no, she's always there, like, throughout the day, come home early from work and preparing us meals and things like that for us to go through. So I think learning that, learning the family support, knowing that family will always be there no matter what. Yes, they build you up. They can also break you down. But I think the family core, like, your mom is always going to be there. So those are the biggest values and memories of, you know, growing up in kind of my era in that sense.
How was it growing up in, like, your hometown? You know, me coming in, you know, being born and raised in Oakland, right, low-income upbringing was on, you know, welfare. I remember my aunt and uncle collecting cans, right, you know, kind of navigating that. And my dad had taken on multiple jobs, right. And so my dad would come home, you know, late. You know, my mom, you know, she didn't graduate from high school. So she had to, like, be a babysitter under the table.
And, you know, under the table in terms of just doing cash only, right. So, like, yeah, how was it, you know, navigating through that, you know, within your own hometown and your family dynamics? Yeah, so, yes, very similar. My parents, they, you know, they were on welfare as well. Section 8 was where we were working at, Section 8. So for the first about 10 years of my life, we were in Section 8. From house to house until, you know, my brothers got jobs and started being able to support the family to kind of have a more stable spot.
And then, yeah, my dad still collects cans to this day. You know, like, we still do the separation, the backyard, the three cans, plastics, you know, like, and the ones that are not accepted, we still try. And my dad still goes through that every day. So, under the table stuff as well, the area where I grew up, very low income, a lot of, I want to say, the neighborhood I grew up in was, like, a lot of Hmong people, a lot of Lao folks, a lot of Latinas, Latinos, and also a lot of black people.
I don't really have that much, like, white influences around there, for what I've seen, because the school I went to, I think I had a lot of, like, multicultural friends. But I really didn't have any, like, white friends growing up. So that was kind of the difference, I think, in terms of, like, experiences, navigating what the world was going to be. Because once you experience the data, you go into kind of the real world, like, dang, there's a lot more white people than you thought.
You know, like, you're in a close neighborhood, you're like, oh, there isn't really that much, because you're so hidden off. So that was kind of like a different experience in that sense. Yeah, no, I totally agree. I remember, like, going back to my elementary school, I remember having a community of a lot of more Southeast Asian folks, right? So Khmer, Hmong, Vietnamese, Laos. But also being in a predominantly Latinx and black community, right? And for us growing up, it was like, how does your identity kind of, like, form at a very young age? When, like you said, when you go into the real world, there's a lot of people with different experiences who never have to experience having their family collect cans or coming from a different country as refugees, right? And I do want to dig a little bit deeper into that.
So, you know, what were the stigmas that you grew up with within your family, especially as it relates to your identity? Because for me, my dad always told me, you know, stay in school, because, you know, school was stripped away from him when he was a child and when he was in a refugee camp. He always said stay away from gangs. You know, my dad's expectation at that time was, you know, straight A's, get good grades, stay out of trouble.
And I will tell you, you know, I struggled with that because I wasn't the best, you know, test taker. You know, I had some B's and C's in my life, right? And I'd gotten detention sometimes and got suspended, right? But I wanted to hear a little bit about what are some of the stigmas that you grew up with within your family. Yeah, definitely. I think being kind of the first guy to go to school in general, you know, I had a lot of expectations in terms of grades as well.
You know, like I was a really good student until high school. You know, like, I don't know, it was the high school rebellion stage, but, like, I was a really good student getting good grades. I was in the gate. I was trying to get into gate in elementary, but my parents, my dad, just didn't think that was a good idea because it was, like, after school, he couldn't come get me after school, so they just took me away from gate.
So they didn't understand what gate was as well at that time. So, like, it was really hard to explain that. But then I think just kind of going with, you know, the rebellion stage, I didn't want to get the A's anymore. After a while, I just kind of, like, the pressure was really up upon me. I didn't want to get the A's anymore. I just kind of wanted to have fun. I got experience of, like, just having fun within the first two years of high school.
Like, just did the worst things you can do. You know, like, I was, you know, didn't go to school, get dropped off, but also, like, not go to class. Yeah, cut a little bit. Yeah, cut a lot, actually. And then, yeah, those are experiences, like, you know, you try to, after a couple, you're like, this is really not for me. You know, like, maybe try to change it up, you know, because you see different things that happen within a neighborhood, especially if you don't, you know, if you hang out with kind of the same people around you, they could be involved in gangs.
You know, you're told to be stayed away from gangs, but you're not in the gang, but, like, you're affiliated. You know, so you get that sense of, like, this is really the life for me, especially when you see people like you know down the street, and, you know, them being casualties in these warfares that they do have. So these are some things, like, you kind of see, and you're like, I don't think I want to lead up to that life, right? And I think just kind of some growing up things, like, your family took you away.
Like, maybe that was just me, but, like, your family took their life away from, you know, back from the homeland to come here to give you a better life, so why don't you take advantage of that, right? And what does that look like? But that took a little bit of time before you can really manifest that in your mind to kind of maneuver through those. So those are just different things that was there that kind of impacted my upbringing and my kind of aspect of life.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know, you know, not many people know the history of kind of, like, how the Vietnam War impacted, you know, the Hmong population that was there in Southeast Asia. And even, like, the Khmer Rouge, right, when it comes to, like, the genocide that happened in Cambodia. Like, my dad was part of the child labor camps there, and there's so much, you know, trauma that they carry, especially as parents coming from a different country, fleeing, like you said, fleeing their home country for a better life.
And it's a very survivalist instinct as well. But, you know, I know that, you know, within this thing, within my family, we don't talk about, like, mental health or even, like, disability, right? My dad told me, I think it was a couple years ago, that he had to get surgery for his ear. And he said that the reason why is because there was a bomb, and the shrapnel, kind of like the sound wave of the bomb itself, like, blew out from the part of his ear, hearing.
So he's actually hard of hearing at this age. And he had a successful surgery, but again, it wasn't something that he talked about growing up, that he was hard of hearing. It was just, like, he kind of went through it and kind of, like, just did the operation. And even to this day, I have to, like, repeat myself just to make sure that he understands or, you know, kind of, like, communicate in a way that I'm able to communicate effectively with him.
But when it comes to, like, you know, disability within the family, was that something that, or even just, like, trauma, was that, like, talked about in your household? Was that even brought up? Tell me a little bit more about that. No, definitely not. Not until I was older, I would start, like, asking questions. You know, I always knew about our history, like, the Hmong history, supporting the U.S. in terms of the Vietnam War, guerrilla warfare. Like, my dad wasn't in it, but, like, my dad was the only child, so he signed up for it, but he got kicked out because he was the only child.
The only male, like, the only son, so they always wanted to keep the lineage alive kind of back then. So my dad signed up, but, yeah, they kicked him out because, like, yeah, you're the only son, so you can't be in there, you know, in terms of, and he was, like, 12 years old at that time because his dad just passed out, like, very recent, at that age, too. So, but as you're living, as they were living in, like, Laos at that time, during, you know, during the, kind of, genocide that happened, because a lot of Hmong people did help the United States, and they were seen as the enemy, so a lot of times they were prosecuted or they were sought to be, you know, kind of erased from memory.
So my family didn't really leave until, like, a little bit later, in, like, 1977 or so, to Thailand, but during that time, you know, I had a brother who passed away when he was young due to the escape part, so, you know, the stories of escaping, kind of, the war, escaping, prosecution, and your child crying, what do you do? You feed them opium to silence them, and that causes repercussions of, like, health, and that's how he died.
And, like, my mom's whole story about, like, how that impacted her, how that impacted my dad. My dad doesn't talk about any of, like, his mental health stuff, you know. I know he goes through a lot, so. He had a hard upbringing, which he never talked about. Even if you ask, he doesn't give you a full story. He just kind of gives you, like, you know, yeah, it happened. It's like this. You know, that's it, like, very straightforward.
Where my mom was more, explained some things in the past, like, but she never really went through, like, what therapy, you know, things like that. Nor, I think, we didn't really know about it until, like, we, all the kids got older, and we're like, oh, man, our parents would have definitely benefited from just going to therapy, you know, like, talking about things for support groups. Like, as they got older, you know, getting put in the, not put in the, like, just kind of having support groups are people who share the same stories, you know, experiences, or just be there to be in community with others or have shared the same experiences with you.
Sometimes it gives you, like, ease about, like, kind of what happens, or how do you heal from that? You don't know, you know. Yeah, and even just, like, you know, post-traumatic stress disorder, right, like, certain sounds or certain actions, and there's violence, right, in comparison to that. And, you know, when you mentioned about just not talking about it, right, I had to learn about, you know, my dad's experiences through, like, websites, like, Google, movies, you know, interviews and stuff like that, because me talking to him about it, it wouldn't be like him opening up.
Plus, me doing that is, like, causing kind of, like, you know, PTSD or, like, violence, you know, secondary. And it's kind of like trauma, again, brings you to live those experiences. So I did, I do wish, even to this day, like, when, you know, a country resettles refugees, to provide, you know, those services, if it's disability-related or if it's trauma-related or if it's, like, group counseling, because it's the benefit of the healing aspect of when they're doing it while they're resettling, and it's a process, right? I don't think you go to, like, you know, eight sessions or you get disability support, and it's like, you're done.
It's an ongoing thing, right, because it's lifelong. And even with, you know, family ties within, you know, sticking around disability support services, like, isn't that talked about? Yeah. Like, hell, yeah, I keep thinking about it, like, you know, okay, I'm not the best test taker, I don't want to disclose to people, and I just realized that, you know, I'll share with you, and, of course, with people that are, you know, living. Like, you know, I didn't know I had anxiety, right, and I still continue to do it.
And I even go to counseling and stuff like that, but it's like, you know, giving documents and all this stuff, I know how to navigate that. But imagine if my dad was able to discover that at the age of when he resettled, how more impactful he would be in terms of, like, healing and being able to talk about it more freely but also more comfortably and also have an aspect to kind of share as well. So, yeah.
Definitely, that's the thing, because, like, even with that, you know, like a lot of men in, like, Southeast Asian culture, they have to be masculine and can't really show emotion. So when you bring it up. Don't say I love you. Yeah. Don't hug you. And if you bring up, like, traumatic past stuff, like, they have to be emotional. They're not going to converse with you because they don't want to deal with that. So it's kind of like really understanding that part of, like, should you pry or can you pry, you know? Like, that's what they feel like.
If they do go to therapy, like, do they even, you know, do they even kind of wear these clothes because they may not want to. Those are also, like, choices they have as well. Yeah. Showing no emotion, right? Men are boys don't cry. Right? Don't talk about your feelings. Right? You know? So when it came to, like, your familial expectations on getting help or additional help in academics like you mentioned your brother being deaf and hard of hearing, you know, how was that like supporting a family member who had a disability within your own, you know, family dynamics, right? Because I can share that, you know, I have a close family member who has an IEP.
I didn't know what an IEP was. I didn't know what it stood for. All I knew is that my family member needed additional support, additional tutoring, additional time on task. And growing up, I was naive and didn't really, like, pay attention to, like, how I could support that person and how I played a role in advocating for them as well. Yeah, no, very similar. Growing up, I didn't, my brother always had an IEP. Did not know what IEP was, nor did my parents.
Like, it was just kind of written for them because he always needed an interpreter in class. Went to a school that was, like, that wasn't even part of our school district. It was, like, one of the only programs that had interpreters there. But, yeah, having an IEP, we didn't know what it was. I didn't really learn about it until I was older, like, in school. I was like, oh, that's an IEP. Like, it was, like, support for, you know, as kind of children growing up to have more support in school.
But just kind of learning from that, knowing that you see kind of, like, that if they had access, they could have been supported, you know. Right. Because not saying he didn't have access, but, like, access to, for example, our brother, access to American Sign Language, gave him a lot of support to the school, what support was there from. He knew different things. Also, that support, just imagine if he had access to, you know, us. You know, like, that was kind of the thing.
Like, we didn't have the access to him. We didn't know how to communicate with him. We have home signs. And that was one thing that kind of guilted me a lot, you know. Like, when I was, like, I never really had a good interaction with him. Right. Because I never had good communication with him. We didn't know how to communicate with him. I didn't really take ASL classes until I was in college. And I didn't go to college until I was, like, 24.
So, like, and that was the connection of, like, I wanted to do more. You know, like, I wanted to do more. I wanted to be connected to my brother, you know. Like, I still get emotional talking about it, you know. Like, when I learned sign language and finally had a conversation with him, hey, he was very, like, he wrote down, I wrote down, you know. Like, these are kind of, like, experiences where you just kind of, like, imagine that when you're younger.
Yeah. And imagine if he had, like, that connection with our parents as well. Like, our parents loved him, yes. He has reciprocal love for them as well. I think that disconnect is, like, language sometimes. Something about it is just kind of gives you another edge if you do have access to language to each other. I think that was just kind of, like, one thing that was kind of big. And that driven me to have more, you know, like, really meet this in the culture, in our community.
You know, like, not just small cultures, but all cultures. Like, how do you kind of navigate through family when you're not even connected to somebody, you know. And, like, just seeing that was kind of, like, it was disheartening, but also, like, gives you a way to, like, reconnect. You can be the bridge to reconnect them. Like, I think I was really a bridge to reconnect them. When I go back home, I'm still the translator. Yeah. In a sense to, like, hey, he, you know, my brother wants this, or can you tell him to do this, or can you tell him when you're supporting this, when you're helping this.
I'm like, you know, like, y'all can do it too, right? But, you know, like, you communicate better. Kind of, but that's still your brother. You can still talk to him like your brother, you know. These are things like that. So, you know, those are just some personal ties in terms of, like, how kind of my family navigated that and how I learned about that. I didn't really learn about it until I was, like, way older. And, like, quarter-life crisis sometimes, you know.
Like, changing your whole aspect of life, trying to figure out what you wanted to do in the future. Yeah. And I appreciate you sharing that. You know, it's definitely heartfelt, and it's so real. Probably because we kind of take communication for granted. Being able to speak, being able to see, being able to articulate and receive that. And, you know, for you to be where you are now and not only supporting your family and your brother, but also supporting other families in your position as a disability specialist.
It's not only, you know, an amazing work, but it's also the work that really makes an impact for that student experience, but also that family as well, knowing that they're being taken care of. Yeah. And, yeah, for IEP, for those that don't know, it's Individual Education Plan, right? And that's known for K-12. But there isn't an IEP for college, right? Correct. So that's why it's important for students who have IEPs to connect with their disability specialist if they're at a community college or if they're at their state school or a private institution.
I wanted to talk a little bit about why it's important for those who work in disability services that hold ethnic identities, but also having the understanding and empathy of ethnic identities and how that impacts their disability identity. We shared a little bit about repercussions of war, having family members who have disabilities, PTSD. We even talked a little bit about access, right? Accessing disability resources, accessing mental health resources. Would you be able to share a little bit about that within your own experience? Yeah, definitely.
It depends on, you know, like what the student really wants at the end of the day. Definitely. Oh, sorry. Parents. Excuse me. Most of the time, from our experience, is that especially Southeast Asian culture, or even just Asian culture in general, if you have a child with a disability, you did something wrong as a parent, you know? You did something in the past, or there's a belief that karma catches up to you, your previous life you did something, or you did something when you were younger, and that's why your child was born.
With a disability, or it could be physical, but in terms of like the mental health part, those are just something that are just really not talked about. So when parents do get this experience of like having a child with a disability, how to support them. Most of the time, IAP is not really talked about because they don't want to get a diagnosis. They don't want to expose their child to the public or their family because this whole losing face, saving face, I don't know your culture, they have that perspective, but our culture is like they don't want to lose face to their peers, to the other people.
You always want to one-up your cousins or something like that. They always compare you, right? There's always those. Confident comparison, right? Yeah, so when you have a child with a disability, the pressure on the parent is like, I don't want to expose my aunts and uncles that I have a child with a disability. That's like pressure on them. So that's kind of some repercussions of that, understanding that. And so it could be like one thing we talked about was about having people who have, could be effects of the chemical warfare from the Vietnam War.
Agent Orange is also, I don't know if y'all know Agent Orange, what that is. It was a chemical that was released in Vietnam. It was a chemical, right? So how that impacted what the lingering things, it was chemical in the air. So as those individuals get infected and things like that, what are those causes? At the end of the day, too, which causes a lot of, I don't know if there's any studies about that or anything like that, but I haven't seen any studies about that, but just kind of knowing that that was prevalent and also it's been almost 50 years now that is there any effects from that? We don't know.
Also, there could be at the end of the day for that as well. So I think knowing the history, knowing some experiences, knowing some different concepts can be beneficial just in fact kind of helping parents navigate or educating them about disability and most of the time the students may not know what they want but guiding them towards a certain way as well as they're a student. Yeah, I appreciate you saying that because it's like there's that burden or that shame.
You have a family member or a close relative that has a disability but is not talked about or even shared in a way that could be supportive in their environment. And it is true that there are those who have invisible disabilities, learning differences, physical disabilities, disabilities that were caused by their environment, or even chronic medical conditions that really impact them in their day-to-day functions. And I think that it's important to talk about this in our community, right? In Khmer community, Hmong community, Southeast Asian community, actually all communities, right? To kind of like, you know, get past that stigma if possible so that way we normalize it within our culture and within our communities to actually access the resources that are available to them, not only in their educational system but also in their respective communities as well.
Because even like navigating it as, you know, coming from, let's say, IEP, K-12, going through the accommodations process, and then let's say you're graduating and now you have to go into the real world. How do you navigate that with your employer? How do you advocate for yourself and say that you need American Sign Language or you need, you know, to take breaks or you need, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera? I think that's more, that's the important piece of like having people within your position that also carry the identity of Southeast Asian but also First Generation.
And how do you relate that with someone who also may share the same identity with you and share your experiences and how you can help mentor them as well in helping them navigate? So when you're working with disability support services, right, and how your identities intersect, how do you navigate parent involvement in disability support services? Because what I know with my dad, he kind of like left it to the specialist, to the expert, right? Okay, they're going to, you know, to take care of, you know, et cetera, et cetera, or even the family member here taking care of making sure that they're connected.
So what are some ways that you see within the experience of disability support services when working with parent involvement? And I can share a little bit about my experiences in a bit as well. Yeah, it really depends on my experiences with parent involvement. Within my family, like, yeah, same thing, they're really disclosed, like separated, like, you know, the professionals got it. But when I, in this field, where I'm at, when I see parents with involvement, sometimes it's more like, hey, they have an IEP and how do we get the same accommodations for them moving forward? And those are more the parents who are really understanding, they know about it.
But those who don't know, most of the times, you don't see them. You don't see the parents. You don't see the students in general, too. The students doesn't come up until a little bit after, like, or like a year or so after. It's only like, you know, I always knew something was going on or things like that. And, you know, I can't really talk about this to my parents because they don't believe in that. And how do I navigate forward? So there's, it's either black and white for us, right? For me, right? And from my experience, like those who are parents who are very involved, who understands and are educated by it, and those who are just like, you know, they're going to grow, like, if they have a mental disability or mental health or learning difference, that it's like they're going to grow up and that's just going to go away.
You won't see anything. Like, it's really not, that's not the case, right? And the students advocating for themselves most of the time. But one thing about our process, in general, our process, what kind of happens in college, in colleges, is that if you don't want your parents involved, you don't want to talk to your parents about that, it's very confidential. Right. Everything is confidential. The conversation is only to the student. And if you do want parents involved, then we do do, do like release information things.
But I kind of want to kind of hit that. Like, it's very confidential. If you don't feel like your parents wants to be involved or you don't want your parents to know, definitely we can work through that as well. But just know if you, navigating the process of the medical provider, that could be, if you're still through your parents, that's the hard part, right? So if you have to make a call to your medical provider that's under your parent's name, how do you do that, right? How do you call? And the education part is kind of where the next step is, in terms of that, so.
Yeah. And we also have something called FERPA. Yeah. Which is the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act, right? To protect students' records and information. And even within my experience, when I was working in disability services, like years ago, I had family members who were like scheduling the meeting for the student. And they'll come in with the student. Or they'll come in without the student. I mean, we're the student. Right? And then there would be conversations where the family member's doing most of the talking for the student who is maybe on the spectrum or has auditory processing disorder.
And I know that, you know, the student advocacy part is really important because then you would want to, you know, give them the voice to advocate for themselves. So eventually they're going to have to do that. But I totally understand when there's parent involvement, wanting their student to succeed, but also be supportive because they're the ones that have been raising them. Right. For most of their lives and for them to release them out of their nest, right? It is hard, right? And I get that from the familial aspect even with those who don't share the same ethnic identity as I do or have experienced this.
I relate to the care, to the empathy and the understanding that they're just wanting the best for their student. Right? And to eliminate as many barriers that they can that is inaccessible for them based off of their disability. So working at a college, right, and within your experience in disability support services, what do you think colleges can do to make it an inclusive experience for students who not only hold Southeast Asian identity, but also disability, that intersectionality? Yeah, definitely.
I think it's more of an identity piece. I really believe college is where a lot of students create or get a higher sense of what their identity is. And it can be many things, not just one, right? So there's also, you know, going back to my brother's example, me going through school in terms of this as well, learning a little bit about the deaf and hard of hearing community and culture. Deaf and hard of hearing is also an identity, right? So it could be like, do you feel enough in the aid of feel, in the aid of identity? So the enoughness is also like, am I Asian enough? Am I deaf enough to be in the deaf community? These are different things.
I think my brother doesn't, I'm just kind of like, from experiencing conversations with him, he feels more connected to his deaf community than he is to the Hmong community because of the inaccess that he has here in the Hmong community. So just having identity show up, I think that's a big piece, especially with like those in the field who are working disability, to have a person that really kind of looks like you to kind of talk to you about disability can also be an impact in terms of that.
And also I think this can support parents as well. Sometimes parents don't really believe in disability until they hear from someone that kind of looks like them too, or in the same language, right? I have an experience that, it's not high school or not college associated, but just kind of a parent going through medical, my sister has scoliosis and they really believe going through surgery, but really getting someone to explain what scoliosis is and the surgery and how it supports, they find, oh yeah, okay, we'll do it, right? But before they're like, no, we're against it.
We don't want to do this stuff because we don't know what that means. We don't know what this is. And when they hear it, or when they hear from someone who speaks the language and know them, they somehow all 100% believe it and then they go through with it. So that's a big impact in terms of that as well. Yeah, and it's kind of like when we think about supporting them while their identity shows up in either one place versus the other, right? Especially if they connect more with their disability community versus their ethnic identity or being Southeast Asian.
I think that's really important for higher education professionals to hear about. And that's something that we're trying to strive for because there's a stigma, right? That Asian Americans or Southeast Asians specifically don't have disability, right? And it's like, well, they're going to be okay, right? They resettle here, they're going to be okay. And I think that's part of the work that you're doing because that's the part of work that a lot of disabilities professionals, researchers and all that is to really look into those spaces and know that it's a multi-pronged effort to support students with multiple identities, right? Whether it's disability, whether it's ethnic, whether it's religious, whether it's cross-cultural, whether it's intersectionality.
I think that's the piece where that's where eventually higher education will need to be, right? Because there will be more students who hold multi-identities, including disabilities. So I did want to ask you, for students with disabilities, you need to point out if they have a documented disability or if they do have a disability, what would be your advice or your guidance for those who are listening on how to navigate that in higher education? There's support services at colleges catered to you, for you.
That's one thing. Yes, reaching out for help is definitely very hard. It's going to be very hard throughout your whole life in terms of reaching out for help or getting to the point of, like, yes, I need help, you know, that realization of that. Because, like, I think I go through it, and maybe Jeremy probably could go through it. Like, yes, I need help. You know, those are hard words to kind of really say to yourself sometimes.
But definitely there's people in place to help guide you there. Yes, in college, a lot of times, it is self-advocacy, doing your own work, doing your own, like, calling individuals. But that's kind of guiding towards, like you said in the beginning, in the middle, about, like, it's not just school. It's, like, long-term after that as well, knowing that if you add accommodations in college, that sometimes, you know, we get professors are saying, you know, in the real world, but, like, in the real world, you do get accommodations too.
It's not like you don't get accommodations, right? In the real world, in the job force, there's accommodations for you. Like, there's HR for a reason. You know, the ADA is federally there. So just having that is also a part of that. But I think my point is my, what I do is just, I do a lot of, like, just guiding students through it. So, like, I, you know, ask, you know, what medical, if you don't have documentation, what medical documentation or provider you're with, if you're not with a medical provider, guiding you towards, like, getting one or what school services are there to support you in terms of getting that, navigating what documentation do we accept.
Different schools are different, so, you know, like, what we do accept, what we don't accept. And we don't really, we can work with what you give us. You know, it's not like it has to be a form, signed, like, filled out by someone. But it can be, like, a letter of support that's signed by, like, a medical provider and things like that. And navigating the different kind of, like, non-profits or community-based programs around that could support getting documentation as well.
But that part of, like, reaching out is going to be the students part. That's going to be the hard part. That's the first step. And that's going to be the next step as well. After you give them the resources, will they reach out to these resources to get the documentation back? And those are, it's a process. Navigating the process could take a little bit. But also knowing that there's temporary stuff that sometimes we can do as well.
Not just here, but in different places that we can do. So, overall, I know the school system, all colleges have a disability or accessibility office. And definitely just, if you feel or you may be thinking that you're going through some struggle and you always thought about things, I think that's one thing that you should just start. Just ask the question. It's not more like asking for, requesting things. It's just asking the question, like, do you think I, you know, be eligible for this or not? You know, just ask the question.
That could be the first step. Great. Thank you for sharing that, Tong. And when you were speaking, I was going back to, like, my time when I went to a professional conference called AHEAD, which is, like, Americans in Higher Education and Disability. And I remember being in that conference and there were folks who were just being at their most comfortable when it came to, like, being professionals. And I can say that disability support professionals or disability offices on the majority of the campuses, especially in the United States and so on, are caring individuals.
They have, they come from empathy, where they have family members or personal friends who are also dealing with disabilities that they want to support in as well. And I highly, highly encourage any student that has a documented disability or doesn't have a documented disability to really, really reach out to their disability support professionals on campus. Before we wrap up, Tong, is there anything other than you, anything else that you wanted to mention or, you know, share out before we close out our little podcast? No, I'd just like to thank you, you know, like, definitely for inviting me here.
I think kind of echoing what I said beforehand, you know, if you're any students who are, you know, seeking or thinking, you know, they may need accommodations because everyone has their own struggles, but sometimes it's like, yes, you can deal with it by yourself, and eventually, like, when is it enough? Like, when do you hit the top of the teapot where the steam starts to go off, right? And then how do you support for that? That can be a situation where, I think, just reaching out, asking questions can definitely be there.
We're here to listen. We're also here to help you navigate those steps and go through that. So I'm open to all students to come by and just kind of chat and kind of go through with that. Right on. Cool. Well, thank you, Tong, for being our guest on our podcast, Conversations Underneath the Sugar Palm Trees, Refining Education. I do wish you the best in your endeavors, and I appreciate you sharing your story, sharing your narrative, being real with us, and I hope that the viewers learn something about those who are in disability support services but also being an ally for those who have disabilities.
So thank you, Tong. Thank you. Right on.
