4 - Jaipur to Jodhpur day 8 to 13-enhanced-90p

Dididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididid ididididididididididididididididididid idididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididid idididididididididididididididididididid ididididididididididididid idididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididid ididididididididididididididididid Wooddrivers of all descriptions don't want your business, where are you going, where can we take you and they're quite insistent and it isn't one or two people, it can sometimes be more than a dozen and it is quite intimidating, I don't like it, so just, it was very very busy I would like to say that only two days ago, I think it was, I visited a lovely place called Mandor Gardens and while I was going there, the tuk-tuk passed the station, dropped the station and it was completely different in daylight, it was calm, it was peaceful, there weren't lots of people around and I couldn't believe the contrast between day and night, so maybe don't arrive at night So basically you get triggered by busyness, by crowds, by noise, by messiness and so your idea of fun is not that No, I'm looking for inner peace and calm You're looking for peace and calm, so buses are the way to go for you Oh yeah Very good, I on the other hand love the hustle and bustle and the excitement and all that, so we're slightly different on that count Jodhpur, so impressions of Jodhpur Oh very good impressions of Jodhpur, I mentioned it was called the blue city, they've painted a lot of the walls in Jodhpur city blue with this indigo paint and I've learned since I've been here that apparently the blue, the indigo repels mosquitoes and insects and also it's a cooling colour It reflects heat from the sunlight It gets very very hot here, obviously in summer months it's quite unbearable, but it's also a lovely blue, it's very very nice to walk around the city and see all this blue everywhere And we're sitting at the foot of Meringa Fort, this huge red limestone fort that was built 500 years ago, has never been breached in its history It looks like something out of Lord of the Rings, it's fantastic, it must be one of the most epic forts in all of India We did a lovely tour of that fort didn't we, the royal family, I mean ex-royal family, obviously they're not royal anymore, but that family don't live in the fort anymore, they live in a palace cum hotel on the other side of Jodhpur But we had a lovely tour of that fort didn't we, what was it, it was about £6 and the ticket and we got a free audio guide, the audio guide was amazing, learned so much Yes, you need the audio guide That was a big highlight, we went to the mausoleum, small mausoleum which is called the Taj Mahal of Jodhpur Yes, we went there yesterday We did, it was amazing, we did some meditation didn't we Oh that was superb, at the end of our tour we sat down We sat on one of the mini mausoleums We did Cross-legged, both, and put some raga on, some food, raga, and did some meditation It was lovely because it's been lovely weather here, 22, 23 degrees and sunny every day, and it's just got a very nice feel, the people are so friendly in India, they really are, very impressed with their friendliness, we've had great food We have had great food, I've had breakfast three days in a row at street food stalls outside the old city with locals, standing at the street food cart, really spicy chicken biryani, really great veg curry, so cheap, but I tell you what everyone, I mean people say be careful of street food, if you know me you know that I love rolling the dice with everything, big risk taker, I love food So I would say to anyone coming to India, eat all the street food you can, the best food, bar none that you're going to eat, forget restaurants, they're a pale imitation of street food, and they're like four times the price, so if you really want to eat well in India, just eat street food Maybe not for breakfast, my stomach's not quite up to chicken biryani at 8.30 in the morning, but whatever rocks your boat Yeah, so walking through the streets here, I mean it's an ancient town, it's a rooftop town as well, so you've got flat roofs of all the places and as you sit you can see people doing things on rooftops, lots of cafes, lots of people hanging there washing, it's beautiful There's a whole street dedicated to selling spices and as you walk through the air is redolent with musky spicy aromas, it's brilliant, best dessert sweets that I've ever had, I don't have a sweet tooth He says, popping off to get his second box of sweets since we've been here Yeah, they're amazing, Jodhpur's just really relaxing isn't it? It is, it's been a really really nice, was it five nights? Five nights It's been really nice five nights here And we're looking forward to Jaisalmer, we're there for a week, so yeah we can clearly recommend Jodhpur to anyone right, the accommodation's been great, it's a lovely town, it's cheap, it's friendly, there's lots to do culturally speaking and five days didn't feel like too long did it? No it didn't, it's been very chilled So now let's talk about why you wanted to come to India, so mum you've always, you said to me you've always always wanted to come to India India, what do I know about India, before I came here, really not very much, it's a large country yes, that's for sure But I'm very into, or in my head, I'm a bit of a romantic and I'm very into travelling to places that I feel might be exotic in some way, might have some history And India falls into that category for me, so I associate India with meditation, with yoga, with calm, with peace And I think I've mentioned to my friends you know I want to find my zen, whatever that is, I'm not sure I've managed that at this point, we're almost two weeks in now, that's halfway through our travelling together But I've got high hopes for Jaisalmer because I am looking to do some yoga in Jaisalmer, Adam mentioned we did a brief meditation yesterday, I'd like to continue with that and maybe it will calm me in some way So really that's what I'm looking for, but just travelling anywhere is an experience and seeing different people, different cultures, different traditions, religion here plays a big, big part in India I've just found it fascinating, I just find everything about this country fascinating and interesting and we're learning all the time We are, what surprised you most about India? What has surprised me most? My husband always says that I'm quite naive and maybe naivety plays a part here I knew that it was a poor country but I did not expect the noise, I just think it's a very dirty, noisy place I'd say that everywhere I've been, the only place I've been that I didn't feel that to a large degree was Jaipur, but you walk around the streets and they're always washing the streets and hosing down things, but it is not clean, it certainly is not clean in the streets and the roads, the alleyways, it's very dirty And that's a problem for you? Just out of interest? I just like everything to be, I just don't like walking through dirt and rubbish and also I don't like seeing the way some people live, I suppose it's a way of life, they don't think anything of it, you're born into living in some of these places that I've seen and if you don't know anything different, ignorance is bliss they say, you have no comparison But for me, yeah it disturbs me in some small way to see people living in one small four foot by four foot room I've actually seen as we've walked down alleys and literally they haven't got a proper bed and they're sitting on the floor Because I do look in, I am nosy and curious, whatever you would like to call it and I do try and look and see what's happening around me and I've seen a lot of people living in conditions that they should never be living in Really, yeah, so what would you say are some of the lessons that you've taken so far from our trip together, we're halfway in as you mentioned, so are there any sort of lessons that you've learned so far? Are you talking about our travelling together, you and me or are you talking on a wider scale? Yeah I think maybe focusing about maybe our travelling together Okay, our travelling together, as I said, halfway in I feel, I think we both felt at the beginning of this trip, correct me if I'm wrong Adam, that it was all going to be a bowl of cherries Before we came, yes I was looking forward to it, I didn't have any massive misgivings, I think conceptually I thought to myself I'm sure that it's going to be difficult on some level but that didn't coalesce into an idea of what exactly would be difficult about it, if you see what I mean Yes, so I think for us personally this journey, I'm sure it's all going to unravel in the wash and at the end Unravel? Unravel, well maybe not, maybe knit together, I don't know which is appropriate I think it did unravel at one point It's unraveled at more than one point Adam, but we're muddling through together, it's not been easy, I think the fact that we haven't seen each other for such a long time before we came together and what I've learned is that I need to have more patience I've also learned that by the way because I've been guilty of being very impatient I think patience is a virtue that some of us are lacking in I think it's interesting, I've learned that we trigger one another We do I'm not sure that this is true of all parent-child relationships but it's certainly true of ours that there are certain things that we do that really annoy the other So we've had a few moments where we've sort of exploded at one another right And it got to the point, being honest, I think we promised we'd be honest in the first episode Being honest, it hasn't been a bowl of cherries And there have been difficult moments and off the back of those difficult moments we've come together in the last few days haven't we And said how can we make this better What do we need to do together to improve our communication basically Because relationships are all about communication aren't they They are If your communication is good the relationship is good and if communication breaks down then the relationship is bad Yes, what I would like to say here folks is that we have had some difficult sticky moments but we're still here, we're still laughing, we're still enjoying our time We're still recording our podcast episodes And we've still had far more great days than we, please do not get the impression that this is all strife and grief It certainly is not We're just pointing out to anyone that's thinking of travelling with their mother They haven't got a mother like me but there can be various hiccups along the way But we're doing okay Adam And don't worry, I don't think anyone's going to think that this is the end of the world because we are recording this episode But let's be honest, we've had very difficult times and going back to my point I'm quite proud of us because what we've done in the last couple of days is we've reached a point where we did have a proper breakdown of communication Where we got very frustrated, where we both shoused at each other and where it felt really uncomfortable And I didn't like it and you didn't like it And we talked about it and we said we both love each other, we don't want to be in this situation How can we make this better? And what did we do? Well, first of all, we tried to suggest some solutions, didn't we? You said do we need separate accommodation? We both agreed that we didn't And then I suggested that we might start setting expectations And that meant that each evening we should sit down and talk about what we were going to be expecting of the next day In terms of what we wanted to do individually and what we wanted to do collectively And I don't know about you mum but we stuck to our expectations, set the expectations, negotiated on the expectations And it seems to be working It's been amazing actually Fingers crossed It's been really good So I think setting expectations in relationships is really a great thing to do And then a very good friend of mine also suggested that we tell each other the one thing that most triggers the other And we did that, didn't we? We did You said to me to be more patient And I said to you to stop asking me questions that undermine my sense that I'm leading this party Sort of with bookings and where we're going And we've listened to one another, haven't we? And we have more self-awareness of the thing which most triggers the other And it's working really well, I think The last couple of days I've had really nice time with you Yes, me too We've had some really nice dinners and chatted for quite a long time So it's been great And I'm really, really now that we're actually leaving Jodhpur looking forward to Jaisalmer Because for me I just think this is going to be probably the best place we're going to visit We're going to try and do yoghurts together, aren't we, every day? We are So yes, we're on a bus That's just music to my ears We don't arrive, unfortunately, until nightfall Can we bring the toilet refrain back? Have you got any comments about toilets? Toilets? Well, there's still a dearth of toilets in India, definitely I'm hoping that there will be a toilet stop on the bus Any toilet shocks or toilet surprises in Jodhpur? Let's see, actually, I'm just trying to think, Adam The fort, that was really good, yes Oh, that's it We have, when we visited monuments, for example, yesterday at the mausoleum and the fort There are always toilets and they're very clean, very well maintained So hats off to whoever's maintaining these buildings They obviously understand women's problems There we go