EPISODE 6 BEGINNING

of gold. All right, so let's go back. Oh my god, John just shit his pants and barked. Let's talk about, whoa, hold on, where the heck did those boxes come from? Yeah, yeah, seven boxes. He said only three, I was like, there's seven. He's saving them for his graduation in three years. 600, oh my god. We're saving these chips for when he graduates high school. They have so many bags. Nah, nah, I can't spare them. Can't do it. No. That's one case, I can't do it. How do I sound? You sound fine. All right. You sound all right. All right. Did he touch anything since the last time? I didn't touch nothing. Just himself. Just himself. Jesus Christ. I found out my cock is as big as my fucking hand is closed. You brother has tiny hands, right? God. When do you leave, John? You leave soon, right? Tennessee? Yeah. You're the only tenor? I thought we were done talking about that. We talked about I know. I had to bring it up. You know what? I'm excited. I got Bucky's on my GPS. I'm ready. That's your first stop is Bucky's. It's probably like McDonald's. No, but like in the state. Bucky's your first stop. That'll be our first stop. Can we make a bet over under Johnny's whole case of chips before he gets out of New York? Did you see the whole bag of popcorn I got? No. Are you driving? Are you allowed to go away? I'm going to try my attempt to. I've done it. Don't be a puss. Dude, it took me ten hours to get from like Hicksville to Bristol, Tennessee. No, it's hitchhiking. You ever seen Jay and Silent Bob? Hitchhiking got a blowback? Jay and Silent Bob? Yep. Jay and Bob. We got a full slate today. We have a lot of shit we got to get through. We missed a week. I feel like we're revamped. Yes. We're fresh. Yep. Mark fell asleep at eight o'clock last night. I did. I am ready to fucking go. That's why you're all spiffy. I thought I was going to be alive. I don't care. I don't have a lot of it. I don't have a lot of it. That's it. We're ready to roll today. We're doing live, right? I gotta look spiffy. No. What's the deal with this Diamond Dog pizza that we're doing on the 25th? I'm not even going to be here. Yeah, we said that fucking like three weeks ago, four weeks ago. We were talking about how John wants to do a live podcast and he can't even do one in his basement. How are we supposed to do it live? Yeah, we're going to try to do it live. It's not going to be live. You know what? Instead of having like all this, we'll do a live on Instagram. Yeah. And just record it and then we can, whatever. I'll be upstate. Maybe we can record the cult. What do you have? The cult meeting? Yes, I have a cult meeting. Those are some fucking... They're not cult people. We figured out what they are, but we can't say it. Mongoloids? Nope. Worse. It's worse than a mongoloid. Starts with an N, ends with an I. It starts with a what? N and ends with an I. And they were popular in the early 1940s. Nigerians. Here's your song. Nazis? Congratulations. What's popular in the 40s? Nigerians? It wasn't even a country. Nigeria wasn't a country. Wait, is that part of the trivia? That is your final answer, Bob? That's it. No, seriously. Up there, they are... I think they were Nazis. I'm joking. 100%. Where upstate? Like Cairo, Hudson area. Oh, yeah. They're cousin fuckers. Lake Niger. That's what Tyson trained was up there. Yeah. Yep. That's where he's from. Nigerians. There you go. Unbelievable. That's where he had his pigeons. So that's where we're going, but the resort camp, whatever the fuck it is... There's only one for the showers. Who's going? And the other shower, there's no water. Nobody you know besides my brother. Wait, your brother goes? No, he's coming up this year. You got him into the cult, didn't you? No. Hey, it's a good spot for the kids. Why would you bring him there? It's a cult. He's going to have to go next year. What are you guys going to do? They suck you in. Well, they usually just lock a bunch of people in the shower and kill them. And then after that... They smoke them. I've seen pictures. He stays at a creek for about three hours and gets bored and drinks bourbon. Are you fucking literally? I wake up and just drink the whole time I'm there. And it's not because I'm having a good time. It's to survive. Let me get Diane on the line so she understands that you don't like this. Oh, she knows. I tell her every single day I'm up there. I'm like, you know why I'm here. It's for you. What is it, her family? Yeah, her family goes. She's been doing it since she was a fucking kid. That sounds gay. Yeah, you're telling me. John, I went to dinner with these people. It's special. When did you go to dinner with them? Saturday. We had a nice little afternoon. Really? Yeah. Nice. Went to a brewery. Went to two breweries. I have no reason why everyone shows up because John... John was in Disney. Again. And Mark was smart. Yeah. It was a great day. And then they said, hey, we're going to go to eat. And I said, I'm not really hungry, but I'll call them and they'll have a beer. And then they put us in like the... The special ed room. The special ed upstairs room. I had to carry a stroller upstairs. The person's upstairs room with his weird mannequin thing, whatever that was. Hold on. Let's cut and make sure the audio is good. Yeah. Before we start this whole fucking thing and it sucks.