Brandon Held - Life Is Crazy - Episode 19

The speaker is discussing their journey of starting a podcast and launching their own website. They talk about being unemployed for three years and receiving job offers. They chose a temporary project manager role in the healthcare field over a lower-level buyer role. They then discuss their experience working with a colleague who dressed unprofessionally and failed to complete assigned work. The speaker contemplates whether or not to report that the colleague is working two full-time jobs but ultimately decides to keep the information to themselves. And welcome back, Brandon Howe, Life is Crazy, Episode 19, we are on, and we're getting close to the end of my pre-outlined recordings, and so I'm going to have to get to a point here where I'm going to have to launch my website and these podcasts and make them public, and I started my own website, BrandonHowe.com, to put these on as well, if I can figure all that out, and it's going to be exciting, and I hope you're enjoying these, I understand that it's not the same type of interaction as two people talking together, it can be hearing different points of view and different voices, but this is the start, this is how I'm starting, this is me talking, telling my story, and hopefully, you know, it speaks to people, and people identify with it, and the people that know me and love me maybe will understand me a little better, and the people that don't know me, maybe they're going through the same things, as I've said before. But anyway, moving on, last episode, I was going through my journey of being unemployed for three years and ten months, and trying to be a consultant and work part-time jobs and just do other things that just weren't working out for me, and I finally had a couple job offers, and some people might think the route that I chose is crazy, but sometimes you just have to believe in yourself, and what you're capable of, and what you can do, and also, you know, maybe God is on your side a little bit. I had that belief in me, you know, at that time, I felt like he was helping me, he was helping me with my health, he was helping me with my career, and he was helping me get my life on track in a way that it wasn't for a while, since I went through my divorce and got laid off. And so I was offered, you know, a couple jobs, three jobs, I genuinely don't remember the other one, I think it was like a low GS, like seven type job, which, you know, was not for me, it was way below my value and what I'm worth as an employee, so I turned that down. And then I was offered a job with, shoot, I can't remember the name of the company, but it's an aerospace company, and it's a smaller one, it's not Raytheon, but it's a smaller one in the area, and they were going to, you know, give me a buyer role, so I could, you know, buy parts and products for the company, but it was a lower level role, it was basically an entry level role, and I have an MBA and I had, you know, seven, eight years of aerospace experience, maybe not exactly as a buyer, but I felt like that was worth something. And they offered me an entry level role, which was going to pay about $52,000 a year, and if that was the only option I had available at that time, maybe I would have taken it. But I also had an option to take this project manager type role with a company where it was a temporary role, six to eight months, temporary contract, but it paid $75,000 a year, right, but I wouldn't have worked the whole year, so I wouldn't have made that much money. And then after that, you know, I was told, depending on how I performed, maybe I could be found for another role. You know, I was led on a little bit, to be honest, because to find a different role would have required me to move, and that just wasn't an option with my sons here in the same city. So, anyway, didn't matter. I believed in myself. I believed God was on my side, so I took the temporary project manager role that paid better, not because it paid better, but because I felt like it was going down a path I would rather go, and that was the electronic health care records management system, and I wanted to be in the health care field. I had been in aerospace, and aerospace, while helping me out in the short term, you know, with a good pay and stuff like that, it also had bit me in the butt twice by laying me off, and so I didn't have a positive feeling towards aerospace, and before this job was ever even provided to me, I knew I wanted to get in the health care field some way, somehow, because people always need health care. That's not something that's going away, you know. The government can make defense cuts and budget cuts, and, you know, aerospace can, you know, it won't go away, but be limited, be less viable in the ups and downs, and currently that's happening now. Trump and his team are making defensive cuts, but I'm not going to get into that. But health care is always needed and always necessary, so I wanted to get into it. So here's my opportunity to get into health care, and so I took that job, and I took that role, and I was really excited about this opportunity because it just felt like everything was falling into place, you know. My health was getting better, I was getting in better shape, I wanted to be in health care. I got this offer to be in a position in health care, although temporary, and I was on my way. And so, in the beginning, I was working from home, because this was towards the end of COVID, and I was doing my training from home, and, you know, all on the computer, any calls or meetings that needed to take place, which weren't very much, frankly, I would, you know, call in from my computer at home, you know, I had a computer, they didn't provide me one, I used my own personal computer, and it was all working out. And then after a couple months, you know, the COVID thing was dying down, people were going back to the offices, and so they were requiring me and the other person they had hired to go to the office and start working in the office. And so, you know, she and I had built a rapport through the working from home situation, you know, just, we were new, we were trying to learn what we were doing, and we were bouncing information back and forth off of each other, and I liked her, and she liked me, and everything was cool. And then we showed up for our first day of work, you know, in person, at Davis Monson Air Force Base, who was the client, by the way. You know, we were essentially a consultant to the client, Davis Monson Air Force Base, the hospital, specifically, the health care center. And you know, we showed up and, you know, I'm dressed up, dress shirt, tie, dress pants, dress shoes, you know, representing looking professional. And she shows up, and she's in like this, I'm chilling at home, relaxing outfit, and she's wearing sandals, open-toed sandals. And like, I first see her, and I, you know, I don't say anything to her, because she's essentially a peer to me, right? I'm not in charge of her, she's not in charge of me, even though she was hired for the more full-time, the full-time permanent role, because, you know, she had experience in health care records field, and also, she was a nurse by trade, that was what her degree was in. And so, we show up, and right off the bat, she doesn't look professional, I do, this doesn't go unnoticed by the clients, and the people we have to work closely with. And then, you know, the way we are carrying ourselves at work that first day, which is like kind of an introductory, you know, I was more of a professional, and she was just more of a, you know, hey, I'm chill, I'm cool, I'm just like you, you know, laid back and soft to everyone, like she was just hanging out with her friends, and that didn't go over well. And so, you know, we departed that day, we went back home, and we did some more working from home, and there were things that were asked of each of us to provide the client by a certain date, and I did my part, but she didn't do hers, and, you know, the client was upset, so they were already like, okay, you've got strike one, the way you're dressing, strike two, the way you're behaving, and then strike three, you're not doing the work, you're not getting the work done on time, and honestly, there's just no excuse for it, it wasn't that much work, it was some hours of work, and we had days to do it. And so, that day, when we met in person, you know, we were talking, talking about our lives and what was going on, and, you know, making jokes about how we order stuff from Amazon, and, you know, Amazon is like, getting all our money, because we're spending money on Amazon, you know, just laughing it up, and she's like, oh, I'm spending so much on Amazon, it's crazy, like, I'm making so much money, you know, I got this job, and I still have my full-time job that I had before that they hired me from, and, you know, I don't know if she was just talking without thinking, I don't know what she was, but she totally let that slip out of her mouth to me, or maybe it was intentional, I don't really know, but I couldn't believe she just told me that, you know, and so I had this in my brain, and, you know, I struggled with what do I do with this information, right, do I go to leadership and tell them, hey, she's working two full-time jobs, no, then I kind of look like the rat, the bad guy, because, you know, she has the job that I want, right, she's getting paid more, she's full-time, so even after deployment of the electronic health care record system, when I get let go, she stays on, she has, you know, the full-time job, and I just felt like it really put me in a no-win position, because either I go forward and I tell them what's going on, and I look like a hero, or I go forward and tell them what's going on, and I look like someone, you know, that's a rat and can't be trusted with information, so I made the decision to just sit on it, right, I didn't know for sure that that was true, right, she could have been talking out her butt, she could have been setting me up to see if I'm trustworthy, I don't know, whatever it was, I decided to hang on to it, and I talked to my best friend Blair about it, and I told him the situation I'm in, and he agreed with me that, you know, probably best not to go forward with it and just hang on to the information, because I don't know that for sure, so that's what I did, and then after about, I don't know, a week to two of knowing this information, I don't remember the exact timeline, our supervisor, you know, wanted to write her up for bad performance, and, you know, he's a retired military NCO, and she was a black girl, and so when he tried to write her up, instead of accepting the write-up, because she was not completing her work and getting it done on time, and she should have just accepted it, she decided, no, I'm going to fight back, I'm going to go to HR, I'm going to say you're racist, and you're only doing this to me because I'm a black girl, and she said this to me, and she asked me if I would support her, and I said, well, what do you have to support that information? Oh, you know, I've talked to other black girls on the team in other parts of the country that do this job, and they too said that he has written them up, and he has caused problems for them, and so he's just racist, right? And so, just like I can't verify whether or not she had a second job, I also can't verify if that information's true, and I liked our supervisor. He seemed like a good dude to me, not someone who was a headhunter. I mean, you know, they hired her in the first place, and they knew she was a black woman. The interview for the job was a video interview, so I just couldn't imagine that that was the case. It just didn't make sense to me, based on everything that I had in front of me, right? It didn't smell the common sense test. So, you know, she does that, and a day or two later, I get a call from HR, and they said, you know, this is what's going on. You know, you work with her side by side. We want to know your take. What do you think? And so, I said, you know, I don't really see, you know, him being that way. He doesn't seem like that type of guy to me, but I don't know. You know, people surprise you, but all I can say is this, and this is really all I have to say on the subject. If I were you, I would call her old, her previous employer, and see if she still works there. That's it. See if she still works at her previous employer. That's all I can say. If she does, maybe that's why she's not getting the work done. And he said to me, you know, the HR guy said to me, well, if she does, that's fraud. It's in the contract. You can't have any other job without our permission, except this job. And I said, well, you know, there you go. So that's something for you to look into, because I don't know. And so, that was the end of that story. And then the next night, or the same night, I guess they looked into it. They fired her. And then the next morning, they offered me the job. They, you know, said, hey, we think you're doing a great job so far. How would you like her role, you know, that role? And I said, yeah, that would be great. I'd love to do it. I said, also, however, you know, I understand she made more money than me. And I want to make the salary she was making. I feel like I've earned it, and I deserve it. And, you know, I'm worth it. And so, they hemmed and hawed a little bit on the phone directly. But then they came back, and they gave me a contract, and offered me the job at her salary. So just like that, I got about a $20,000 pay raise overnight, and a permanent full-time job in the, you know, healthcare field. And so, again, I just felt like my life was going my way, right? It was finally picking back up again. My health was better. I was in much better, getting in much better shape, working out. And, you know, now I had a permanent full-time consulting role with the most pay I've ever had in my life from one job. I've been paid more from back when I worked at NCI, and I had that job, but I also was training Tony. So when you combine the two pay, I was, you know, getting paid a little better than NCI, or the new job. But, you know, as for one job goes, it's the most I've been paid. So I was excited, and I was looking forward to it, and things were looking on the up and up. So, switching gears, while all that's happening, back home in my personal life, you know, my girlfriend is just getting more and more insecure, is one thing. More aggressive with her, like, tone and behavior about our relationship and where it's going. And, you know, how she didn't think I was her type, and, you know, she didn't know why I was with her, and, you know, if I really loved her, you know, I would have asked her to marry me by now, and all those things. And, you know, I was only a month and a half, two months into my new job. And, you know, it was just turning into fights, and, you know, my initial thought process was, you know, I'm going to take care of her. I'm going to pay her back for what she's done for me for the last couple years. And, you know, she's going to be rewarded for being someone who helped me when I was down. And that was totally my thought process. I had no thoughts in ending a relationship, no thoughts in, you know, saying, all right, thank you. I used you, bye, because I didn't feel that way at all. Loyalty is important to me. Being thankful to someone, you know, who you needed in a moment of toughness is also important to me. And, you know, it was part of the reason I stayed with DSI and stayed unemployed for so long, because when I was at NCI, and I was driving three hours a day, I needed a new job to get out of that drive. And DSI saved me. They helped me get out of that situation. And so when the contract was coming to an end, instead of jumping ship to Raytheon for a lower paying but more permanent job, I didn't want to do it, A, because, yeah, it paid less, but B, more importantly, I felt like I owed it to NCI to stick it out. You know, the vice president, Rob, was really, you know, pleading with me to stay there and finish out the contract. And so, you know, I felt I needed to do that. I felt it was the right thing to do. And so that was the same situation for this relationship, right? It wasn't perfect. A lot of things about her behavior made me question her just as a human being, like, yeah, she did nice things. But she was also really, really nasty and ugly. When she got upset, she did things that are just, to me, not the way you behave when you're in a relationship. And so I knew, unless something changed or was different, she was right, she wasn't someone I was going to marry. But also she wasn't someone I was just going to use and then walk away when I got on my feet again. But, you know, she kept pushing the envelope, pushing the envelope. One day we got in such a nasty fight where we were screaming at each other and saying things to each other. And she went to the point of telling me, I'm going to have you killed, right? And she's from Mexico. And she's like, look, I know people in the cartel and I can have you killed and I'm going to have you killed. And she threatened to kill me. And I called the sheriff department and they came and, you know, they, you know, they did enough to break up a fight and an argument and they did enough to say, look, if we get called to this house again for YouTube arguing that we're going to arrest both of you, right? So they didn't, they had no desire to be fair. They didn't care that she threatened my life. They didn't care about any of that. They just wanted to end the situation. So we continued to live together for the next few days, avoiding each other. And I was planning on getting on my feet financially, which I wasn't quite yet. It had only been less than two months. I had debts to pay from breaking the lease when I had moved out of my old apartment to move in with her because, you know, I didn't have the money anymore. So I'd broken a lease and I owed them $3,000. You know, I just had to do some things before I was able to leave and get on my own. And she just didn't care, right? Her nasty, evil, volatile side came out and she had gone to the courthouse, unbeknownst to me, filed a restraining order against me, even though I never threatened her with anything. She's the one that threatened my life. And she just flat out lied, lied and said that she didn't feel comfortable with me or secure with me and she felt like her life was in danger, which was total bullshit. And she's the lowest of low human beings in the world. She's not the first to do it. You know, the mother of my two sons, she did the same thing. It's just amazing to me how women can be so kind and caring and loving, but also just the nastiest human beings on earth. Yeah, I know men kill women. I get it. Men beat women. I get it. But I'm not those men. I don't do those things. I've never laid a hand on a woman. I've never threatened to. None of those things. And yet they just do me so dirty. You know, it's appalling to me, the accusations, the things that they say when they're trying to get their way and they're basically done with you. And, you know, you go in the snap of the finger from being someone that they love so much. Couldn't see living a life without you. I can't live without you. To snap my finger. Boom. I hate you with all my guts. You're dead to me. I'm going to try to ruin your life. And now this is now the second time this has happened to me with, you know, two relationships in a row, essentially. And yeah, I just couldn't believe that this was being done because she didn't have the authority to kick me out. She kept telling me she wanted me out to get out. And I said, I will. I need a couple of weeks to get on my feet. And she kept saying, I can't look at you for a couple more weeks. And and so she went the dirty way. She got a restraining order and had me removed from the home. And so, you know, I had to rely on some friends to help me out so I could, you know, pay down the debt that I had and then, you know, put down the deposit to live somewhere new and get back on my feet again. And that's how that relationship ended. And it was ugly and it was gross and it was disgusting, just like my divorce. And again, I didn't deserve this treatment. You know, I don't understand why people can't be logical adults and realize if something's over, that you can do it civilly and you can call it a day. And, you know, life goes on. They have to be nasty. They have to be ugly. And Lily was definitely that. She was nasty and she was ugly. And she was the most immature woman I had ever been with. And she was also the oldest woman I had ever been with. She was just two years younger than me. So she was in her mid 40s. And she acted like a teenager. And it was pathetic. And I don't know if all Latinas are that way. But I certainly wasn't going to find out again. So that ended but everything else in my life was going well. You know, the job was going well. My health was getting better. I had to live in a hotel for like a week or so. And then I did find a nice two story three bedroom home to rent. So I could now give my kids a home of their own with just me. And everything was looking up. Everything was moving on and moving forward. And that's where I'm going to stop for now. And that's where I will pick up on the next episode. So thanks for joining.