Episode 7 DRAFT

This episode is brought to you by DECTEC. The world's fastest decking system that protects your joists and space your decking boards all in one product. So if you're looking to build a deck today, DECTEC is your only solution. Because everyone admires a great looking deck. Get your deck up in a jiffy! All right back again, oh no, good intro! We are back baby, how are you Josh, are you going well? Good mate, how are you? Really really good, a bit sweaty as always, I think I mention that every single week in this room. You're complaining about it being a bit hot, we're just getting into autumn now, I'm hoping for it to cool down a little bit and you stop complaining. Yeah I can't complain about the weather every single week, I feel like I do that, it's my go-to, I say how are you going, you say not bad you, and I say I'm annoyed about the weather and I fucking hate that small talk and I've become one of those people and I want to apologise and I'm sorry. I've been that person for ages, I've got nothing, nothing to give anyone. Me and you have got nothing interesting to say and we're sitting here starting a podcast. How about that weather? Oh my god, oh I didn't even realise how fucking... That's Melbourne for you. Oh yeah, but the thing is though, not that I want to talk about the weather, it's a lovely day today. I know, I've been trapped up in bloody thawed all day, it's been like this hasn't it? That's how you know you're getting old, you walk out and you go, oh well it's a nice day. A bit of a nice breeze coming through here. Yeah, I was getting hot before. Open everything up. Oh, the cool change is coming, excuse me, rocker, rocker. Can you call the wife, we've got some washing on the line, I think the cool change is bringing some rain as well. The cool change is coming. Alright, well let's just crack these beers Josh, what do you reckon? Yeah, let's change it up a bit, get straight in the beers. It's your choice this week. Obviously this pod gets released, we're one week behind, at St Paddy's Day yesterday, so go on with Guinness. Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's frothing out of the can. So out of the glass this week, we'll pour it in and let that sit for a bit and we'll come back to the beer segment a little bit later. Oh Josh, I don't know if you know this, but I'm not a massive fan of Guinness, because I don't reckon many people are. Nah, well Guinness used to be our punishment at the footy club if you were late to a function or you were late to a players wake or you just did something stupid, sculling a Guinness was your punishment. And I feel like I'm in trouble now. I would never be late for that reason. Nah, and I'm a bit, I feel like your pour as well was a lot better than my pour. Hey, it's better than the shit you just did. Well what's going on there, like how come you poured yours so good? Oh, you know, I'm fucking always drinking Guinness. Don't start with your I'm always drinking Guinness bullshit. The last Guinness I had literally would have been a good ten years, ten, fuck, at least ten years ago with our good friend Davo in Ireland. Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Davo, Dav Fucker! How many rushes, how many rushes you got? Don't worry about it Anthony, we'll just have a severe, I know you're distracted with your big fight coming up in a couple of weeks. He's fighting Corey McKernan, we might touch on that a bit later in the pod. Ah, sure we will. I'm just going for Rocker straight up, and it's not because he works for us. Fucking 100% of it. Ok, that's got something to do with it, but still. It's him moping around after that. Corey fucking hell. He's got all his excuses, all week he's going to come up with. I'd rather talk about the fucking weather. Shut up Anthony. I mean he hasn't lost yet, he's probably going to win. We're behind you mate. Good luck brother. Just don't go to HR on us, I'm sorry for all... You know what, when you're in there, and you're looking at him, just pitch a chock on all the mean things he's said to you. Anyway, let's stop talking to the made up Rocker brothers that don't work for us for a moment, because we always get sidetracked with that. Josh, what's been going on with you brother? Ah, same old mate, nothing too exciting as usual, but I did have a doctor's appointment on Friday. I had to leave, it was 4.30, so shit time for a Friday arbo. I had to go, I went a little while back, nothing too serious, or I've found out nothing too serious now, all in the clear, nothing to worry about. But you're here now, that's good. Bit of a weird twitch I had in the chest, and I went to the doctor, and he's like, what we'll do, we'll send you to Melbourne Heart Clinic, or whatever it was. And they're like, we'll set you up on a treadmill, put all these bloody plugs all over you, and I'm like, fucking hell. Just thinking about it, my heart is just pounding. Oh yeah, I don't do any exercise. Do you? I haven't run. You look like you've got a dose of exercise. I haven't run since, what was it, two, no, three years ago that I came back and played twos, no preparation with you. Yeah, that was a good game, we'll get to that, don't worry. Played down back, like 90% of the game, did okay, but not having played or any preparation, then they thought, we'll send this dickhead up forward and try and get him a goal in his return game. Both hamstrings gone. Yeah, I remember that. And the most shattering part about that day was, I obviously had to, from memory, did I deliberately come down from the seniors that week to play with the twos with you? Because it doesn't seem like I would have been playing twos by choice of the coaches or anything, it just would have been like... I had to have a word to them and say, can you please let me play with my brother, like I had to come down. No, you went up, you weren't getting the game in the twos. So I'll come back if, look, you just have to let me play. Yeah, we don't need to get to the ins and outs and dive right into what really happened, it's fine, I don't want to talk about that that much. And we won't, so moving on, I was dreading, I wasn't worried about my heart, I was worried about my hamstrings. So I got on this treadmill and walking away, I actually told him, I'm like, I'm worried about my hamstrings going. He's like, no, no, it'll be alright, you'll be alright. And then sure enough, once I went from the walk to the jog, everything just started falling apart. The hardest thing about that is, you get off, I got dizzy, and then they get on the table and they got an ultrasound to the chest, and I'm blown. Sweating and I'm blown. Did you go to the doctor's? Are you sure this was the doctor's? This sounds like a fucking torture room. And the lady goes, alright, big breathe in, and hold it. I'm like, you're kidding. It just exploded everywhere. Did it come? No, not again. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of people say the breathing part is harder than the running. I'm like, no fucking kidding. If I didn't have heart problems, I do now for making me fucking hold my breath after going on a run. I've got heart problems just thinking about it. People do that shit for fun, you know. People do run for fun. I feel like a lot of people, a lot of guys and girls I see these days, turn 30, and in the back of their minds, someone's saying, run a half marathon. Run a half marathon. What's that? Run a half marathon and post it online. Run a half marathon and post it online. Oh, okay, I'll do that. What the fuck? I feel like everyone's doing that. There's no need, unless you've been chased. Which brings you to our next point. Next month, I'm going to run a half marathon. The way you laughed at me then was funny. Hey, just if we could have a little break and cheers to the Guinness. Cheers to the Guinness. Cheersing to the Guinness to say, never again will I drink Guinness. Because that is terrible. It's thick, isn't it? It's shocking. That is thick. Is it acquired taste? Yeah. Because that's not for me. Oh, man. You won't get that. Good thing Guinness aren't sponsoring the pod. Well, actually, I had something to tell you. I got these because I made this myself. We're going to drink that every week. Legally, you're not allowed to say that. I think I have to back that up. I'm not sure how it works, but I think I just have to cut in there and say, legally, Guinness aren't sponsoring the pod. There's no way I would fucking let that happen. And there's no way I would be the one that makes it happen. Yeah, that's right. I don't know why. I just call you up and say, hey, mate, how's the pod going? What's going on with this? And you say, yeah, haven't done much. And I'm like, well, you know I haven't done anything either, so can you just fucking sort the pod out? It's so hard almost being a one-man band. And when I keep drinking Guinness, I feel like I'm losing my mind. And I'm like, I'm editing the pod. I'm doing this. I'm coming up with ideas. Are you even here right now? Am I making you up? No. Because I feel like if you were made up and you were in my head, I should have made up a fucking more participating brother. When I was jet-setting around the world, like a travelling gypsy that I am, in Ireland, they'd walk into the bars and they'd say, how's the Guinness? Or just ask how the Guinness is. They drink it that fucking much. Of course, the bar, they'd say, fucking shit, turn around, find another pub. Yeah, Guinness sucks here, go somewhere else. That's how they greet each other. How's the Guinness? Good. Yeah, fucking sweet. Yeah. Yeah, that's different. I haven't travelled, so I wish I had some travelling. I mean, I've been to Bali, but I don't go out about it like you have. So do you feel like you should get a tattoo saying Wanderlust across your neck? Another one? Oh, have you already got one? Oh, not on my neck. Have you got Wanderlust in, like, my ribs? Yeah, that's nice. What's your favourite thing about travelling? Did you find yourself over there, Josh? I did find myself. I also got it on my penis. It says Wanderlust. I got a tattoo on my penis that says Wog. When I get a stiffy, it says Wollongong. That's good. Yeah, I got that one off a dad. I did a little bit of a dad joke. Yeah, so, look, you had your little treadmill heart condition story this week, which we might get into, because that whole thing was pretty embarrassing. But look, nothing major embarrassing for me this week, other than today. And it just sort of happens every day, which I feel a lot of people can relate with. It's just the ongoing, boring, small talk that you have to have with people at work. Like, you've got your workmates that you're comfortable with and you're having fun, and then you've got those other people at work that you just sort of have to continually do the small talk shit with. And people, what I hate is when you're having lunch or breakfast, some people for some reason at work always feel the need to comment on your food that you're eating. Oh, what are you eating there? Oh, is that all you're having? Oh, you're doing that? Oh, you're having leftovers? Oh, you're having snacks? Oh, you're having snacks? You're having this? Oh, Weet-Bix, is it? It's just like, what would be the perfect amount for them just to not say anything and say, that is perfect. Yeah, like, fucking leave me alone in my own work. Like, I don't want to talk to you. But the thing is, I wish I could say that, but I get sucked into the small talk. So today, the guy goes, oh, having your Wheaties, are you having your Wheaties? And I went, yeah, only having four, though. I go, can't handle five. And I'm like, why am I talking like that? What the fuck? And he goes, oh, I thought you were just going to put some milk in the box and have the whole thing. And I went, oh, you mean, like, have them dry? And then he went, no, like, put the milk in the box. And I'm like, at this stage, we stopped with the small talk and then got into this weird little mini argument of what we were talking about. He said, no, no, no, like, put the milk in the whole box and have all 24 of them. And I went, well, all 24, 30 bits of Weet-Bix, that seems like a lot. He said, yeah, no, I was joking. I'm like, yeah, I was joking as well. And then we paused after all that. How many do you do? And we just went, anyway, see you later. And then just went back to my office and had something to eat. It's just like, fuck, that was weird, man. It's so weird. And you being a lot like me would get on the front foot early and unnecessarily. Mm. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, fuck, Weet-Bix, what do you want? Yeah, you don't. I'm just wondering. What the fuck are you looking at me for? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? Move your fucking head. You never had them before? I was like, whoa. I was like, Jesus Christ, I was just asking. Sorry, I won't ask again, you know what I mean? Has anything ever happened like that for you? I don't even want to talk about it, because I already get the piss taken out of me at work for it. Because you're a freak, man, aren't you? Yeah. Guinness sucks. Guinness isn't that bad. I have Guinness with me Wheaties. Here he comes, back in he comes. It's good to see you got old faithful. What have you got yourself there, mate? Old mother's milk? No, please, come in. Have a seat. Surprise guest number two on the pod. Yeah, well, sorry for the little delay there, Josh. I had to get up and put the Guinness down. You left me. You bailed on the Guinness. And I had to go get another beer. I had to go get a VB, because I can't drink Guinness. Because we touched on this last week. You, not me. I'm a little bitch. You're a little bitch. Yeah, sorry. I am a little bitch. Dad used to drink these. Oh, all of a sudden I like Guinness now, because Dad used to drink them. Fuck up, mate. Look, my Wheat Beast story isn't even really much of a story, but the boy's fucking hanging on me, because years ago we had a job and there was a contractor that would, we sort of butted heads. He's a nice enough guy, but, you know, there's always, when you're on a work site, not everyone gets along. Beer, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, been there before. And he's come up when I'm in the middle of my Wheat Beast, running around doing the site checks or whatever. Got five minutes to look at how many Wheat Beasts. And this guy was hard as to get a hold of. Fair enough, he's a busy man. And then you try and get a hold of him for all this different stuff, been chasing him for weeks, and then all of a sudden he shows up, like, all right, let's go and have a look at it. And I'm like, what do you need to have a look at? Like, it's, I can take you any time, but I'm in the middle of me fucking Wheat Beast. Yeah, how should I expect? And I sort of crack the shit. Don't sound like you. Gen, usually I am pretty quiet at work. And the boys I work with, they're just like, oh, fucking hell. Like, I didn't say it at the time, but they get stuck in me occasionally, like, fucking hell, yeah, Josh will do anything for you, but not, don't interrupt these fucking Wheat Beasts. Yeah, because you're a psycho. Yeah, yeah. So, anyway, I look like a wee kid. Well, it's noted, mate, it's noted. It's a classic story, and maybe we can put that question out, when have you overreacted? Because that every single fucking day. Like, you look back and, oh, yeah, poor guy just wanted to go and have a look at what I'd been asking him to come have a look at for however many weeks. Oh, I'm on his side 100%. And then I've snapped at him, because I'm in the middle of me Wheaties. I'm a bit of a snapper. Mm. I snap quick. Yeah. Short fuse. Short fuse is another one. When have you overreacted? We can add that question. We've got a few questions for the audience. We do have a lot of questions this week. Hopefully someone answers them. Hopefully we write them down and remember to come back to them. Yeah, I know. I feel like I just asked a bunch of questions, and I went to the guy the other day at work. Different guy, same small talk. He goes, oh, yeah, I was listening to the pod and had the questions, and I was like, what? And I was like, oh, I was like, what? What are you talking about? And he's like, oh, you don't even know what your own podcast is. I was like, nah, I have no fucking idea what's going on. Yeah, well, it's funny you say that. The same guy that takes the piss out of me about the Weet-Bix, Simmo, give him a shout out. Hey, Simmo, how are you? He's up to date. He's on a long drive home from work, and obviously he commutes both ways. He's like, yeah, smashed them all out. Like, when's the next one dropping? Like, fucking hell. Simmo's a fan, huh? Yeah. Fucking hell, I'll have to send him something. And he's asking me stuff about the pod, and I'm thinking, fuck, I can't remember. Hey, you know what we can give Simmo? He's a little gift. The fucking Guinness that I didn't drink. See if he wants that because it tastes like shit. He's got a good segment idea for us. Useless facts. We might slip that in there at some stage. Hey, we're doing something real similar. It's just useless. The whole pod. Yeah, the whole pod. Simmo, haven't you been listening? He's listened and gone, I've got something great for these two fucking idiots. Right up there, Ali. Thanks, Simmo. Appreciate that one, brother. Yeah, so this week we obviously want to talk about the footy. Now, last week we missed the footy altogether. I think we're just too excited. I'm not sure why, but we want to talk about the footy. We've got some news stories, a few things that have caught our eye. And we've got another segment that we're going to make a little phone call. I think the phone call... People are liking the phone call. We've got some good feedback on the phone calls live on the pod. What do you reckon? You like that? Yeah, we have had good feedback. It's always nice to get that feedback. It propels me to two things. Yes, it's a good thing. Keep it going. But also, people don't like listening to us that much. Get as many other people on your shit podcast as you can. Is that a compliment or an insult now? Now I'm not sure. So, yeah. Yeah, I'll take it. Have your phones ready. But that's not all. We've got, obviously, the main story, Josh. You're going to tell your main story. I hope you're ready for that, because yours seems to be a lot more embarrassing than mine. So I'm excited for that one. But before we get to your main story, we've got a little story from one of the fans and a little email in. So that'll be fun to get to. Yeah, we have said we'll get to that. There's a few there to get through, but yeah. Good to go on. And obviously our little DECTEC sponsor. We've got a little fun game to play with them. Major DECTEC sponsor. Ah, huge supporter of the podcast. All right, let's get into it. Woo! What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? I think it was out there. What that was. I thought you pressed the sound effect. All right, Josh. Do you want to get into beer of the week? Because we may have touched on it, but I'm already on to it. Yeah, beer of the week. You've ditched me. You've gone straight to the VBs. I'm a little bit dangerous drinking out of a glass when you're driving, especially these big Guinness cans, because you'll lose track of that. It's a Jim Beam glass as well, which I'm not overly impressed with. Jim Beam might get a run on the pod. That's about as far as they'll go. Well, they can get a run if they want to be a sponsor. We'll just keep drinking VBs. Ah, I'd rather go broke than drink that shit. Yeah. I'd rather drink Guinness. I saw you put up on the page our top five beers. Top five beers for the first five eps. Yeah, pretty happy with them. We're happy with the rating system that we chose as well. A few people weren't happy with Melbourne not being higher, and I think 4.5 out of 5 stars for Melbourne. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Melbourne's just what you go to if you live the other side of the era. Yeah, and you're like a little bit of a hipster, and you're like, oh, I want to live in Brunswick, but I don't. I want to ride a bike to work, and I've got a laptop, and rah, rah, rah, I'm studying for uni. Shut up. All right? Shut the fuck up. I want to drink good beer, but I kind of want to try and be cool about it. Yeah. Why don't you just drink fucking VB? People that drink VB are cool as shit. Did you hear years ago, apparently when all the hipster craft beers are kicking off, VB went undercover and entered a craft beer competition, and they fucking won it. You are fucking kidding. They fucking won? Is that serious? Is that a true story? Yeah. Oh, my God. 100%. How good's that? Yeah. We should get that up on the pod somehow. We should get that. As soon as I work out how to edit this shit, I probably should have looked it up before I said it. I'm like 90% sure. Yeah. You just heard it from a guy once. I might have just dreamt it. You know what? It's probably just me sitting on the couch, I'm alone, drinking VB, thinking, I should go undercover. I should start a home brew, but what I actually do is just pour VB into those bottles and bottle it all up. Not a bad idea, man. Put them in the crates, real hipster life, roll up with all me glass bottles clanking around. Do you know there's a VB aftershave? I've had it before. You've had it? I haven't drank it. Don't drink it. You're not meant to. Look, moving on. I mentioned it before. We want to talk about the footy. I'm spewing that we missed the footy last week, but this week's footy wasn't really that exciting for me. Obviously, being two Collingwood Nuffie fans who love the pies, the pies haven't started too well. No, not good. Are you nervous? I was a bit nervous. When we lose, I just fucking turn it off. I don't get that angry anymore. A few years ago, I would get angry and I'd sort of carry this. I'm like, fuck it now. It's just a game. I sort of just forget about it. I'll wipe it out. We have a win. I'll be watching all the footy shows. I'll be watching it on the app. I'll be watching the replay. We are good. Watching the interviews and when we lose, I forget about footy. I'm like, I'm done. I don't follow the footy. Fuck that. We won the flag last year. Fuck everyone. I love that when we play as well, during the game. Like Jamie Elliott, for example, perfect example. He will do something so shit and I'll be like, Jamie, oh my God, delist him. He's useless. You are shit. That's what it's like on our group chat. And then, yeah. Get him off. Ten minutes later, it takes a massive speck. He kicks one from 50 and I go, I fucking love this kid. Gee, I love this kid. Sign him up for the next five years. He is good. Give him a 10-year deal. So, that's where I'm at as a fan. It's not a healthy way to be, but it is exciting. I think that's Collingwood supporters all around. So, I was very nervous to last year's Premiers. Everyone's got, you know, saying back to back. Oh, here we go again. We were saying it. We're still saying it. Yeah, we'll go back to back. Zero and two is not a good start. Fuck no. But what made me, I didn't even realise this. So, I'll be keeping on the other footy a little bit. I'll do that fantasy footy just to keep a bit of interest. And fucking Brisbane have lost their two games. Yeah. I didn't know that until this morning. Didn't you? Everyone's been talking about it. Yeah. And the two sides in the granny, yeah. Zero and two. I'm like, ah. It's unreal. And Gold Coast won the first two. What the fuck's going on with that? If Brisbane came out and went bang, bang. Bang, bang. Bang, bang. You shut me down. What were you singing? I thought that's what we were singing. I was doing Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill from This Is The End. Bang, bang. Oh, I just had to kill myself. Bang, bang. You're dead. Oh. Yeah, I wasn't doing that. Rocker. Nothing. I was just checking in on you. Just doing a welfare check. Making sure everything's all good. How's my mic? How's my mic sound? Is it good? Nice? You like it? Okay. Can I do it? That's enough. Yeah, so. Go on. Really happy with your good mate, Paul Meadorst. Obviously, Lockie Schultz. Looks good. Looks exciting. Obviously, he didn't dominate, and I think he got himself a snag. Did he get one or two? On the weekend, or? Yeah. I think he just got the one, didn't he? Yeah. Don't know. This will come out next week, so let's hope by the time this gets released, if we're talking last week, it'll be this week coming, and he's kicked five. Yeah. Hopefully, he kicks five every week. That's easy to say, isn't it? But look, I like Lockie Schultz, and I'm going to continue to call him Paul Meadorst because he comes from Trio, and he's got a similar body type, and he's a forward. But I like the way he moves, man, and I think the Pies made a lot of mistakes. From guys that don't usually make mistakes, like Darcy Moore making mistakes. Don't want to say it, but my man JC making mistakes. Old faithfuls, normally they're just killing it. The only player that really played well consistently the whole day was Nick Dacos. Yeah. I hate to say it, but it's going to go into his head. He's been that good for this long, and it's a team thing, and I'm just a beneficiary of the people around me. That's a really good Nick Dacos. One week at a time. Yeah, one week at a time. I'm just a beneficiary of the people around me. Nick, why don't you just start saying, you know what? I got it from here, boys. Me and my brother just have this thing when we're growing up, and we always just check in, make sure we do better. Yeah, we do fitness, and we strive to be the best. We get it. You're a fucking champion, Nick. Just tell everyone, hey. Everyone, if you're a champion, look like he's the nicest guy because he's played in a pretty good team. And he's gorgeous. And he's gorgeous. And he's gorgeous. They start dropping off, he's looking around going, you fucking scum. He goes, you, you fuckhead, you provocative piece of, who has the hangover? You want me to do this on my own? Because I fucking will. He might do it. And he will. And he can. Get out of my way. What you said. I'll say what you said. Whatever you just said. Get out of my way. I'm going to kick it from 60 like you, Anthony Rocker. Well done, Pebbles. Good boy. But he just kicks the ball, Nick, and holds one hand up and one leg up like a ballerina. And normally, a lot of people would go, hmm, a bit weird. But not Nick. He's celebrating already. Not Nick. Not our boy, Nicholas. So, really, really, really, really, really happy with the Daycross brothers. But we'll bounce back. I don't want to make this a Collingwood podcast, but we're going to bounce back. And it's funny that the media haven't learnt by now that after one round or two rounds, they just go, oh, well, Collingwood are fucked. Collingwood are dumb. That's it. Oh, there goes their final series. They're done. Everything's over. The line's off. So, if people said the same thing about Carlton last year, they lost the first fucking whatever game it was, and then they won like 10 or 11 in a row. Everyone wanted Boss's head and said, Boss is no good. Carlton are fucked. It can be done. Old fly bags. Fly bags need to change some shit, because very offensive, and teams have figured us out, fly bags. I think a couple of late nights, new baby, eh. Yeah, it's not his fault. But I think the Pies' game plan last year was just play on at all costs. Let's just get the ball moving. We were very hesitant on the weekend. We got the ball and we went, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then just turned it over, like, time and time again. And I was sick of it. I was sick of it. I was sick of it. I don't like when... We've got to stop singing on the pod, don't we? I wasn't singing. That was really going somewhere. But you were not singing. No, that was all you, mate. I was sitting over here like a fucking idiot, singing by myself. I was thinking it. Fucking hell. Look, I don't know much about what's going on in the world, Josh, and there's a few news stories that have caught our eye during the week. Before we get to that, one thing that caught my eye after listening to a couple of episodes and after being here with you for about an hour recording this episode, what the fuck are we doing? I don't know. Not only with this podcast, just with our lives, man. Like, sometimes I'm like, yeah, I'm on top of the world. And then I go, hold on a minute, what the fuck is going on? What are we actually doing? If you haven't noticed, I don't give a fuck about the pod. Yeah, that's good shit. I just really like... When's it my turn to choose a beer? Yeah, catching up, having a beer, talking shit. You forget they're even recording. I just like coming here and sinking piss for a couple of hours, then getting me car on. Fucking sort that shit out, let me know when it's... It's a pretty good setup, isn't it? Not that many people would be listening or are listening, but I joke about it and say, oh, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, and obviously I really do. But at the end of the day, who gives a fuck about fuck? Yeah. Is that a tattoo? I want to get that as a tattoo, who gives a fuck about fuck? Yeah, maybe just the initials. We don't want to offend anyone. Oh, we don't want to swear. Fuck, if you know, you know. Took me a while to figure that fucking thing out. There's so many letters popping up, I'm going to have to ask, what's all this mean? Mate, that's how you know you're getting old. Like, I knew that one because I'm pretty with it, but then there's some other stuff that people do and I just go, what the fuck? Like, there was one the other day... Slay? Slay, yeah, that's good. There was one the other day that said, if I'm honest... Let's go! And I thought, let's go! Absolutely locked in. Dialed in, going to keep everybody's money safe. What? What? Yeah, you obviously don't know that one. That's alright, we'll play some catch-up later. I've got some videos to show you. If you know, you know. Mate, what we should do is, you know how I said before, like, not that long ago, what the fuck are we doing with the pod? This is what we do. Every single week, we should come in here and set the laptop up and just watch funny videos on Instagram. Yeah, I'm all for that. Yeah, that would be fucking fantastic. That's a great idea. We're going to do that next week. As of next week... We're going to do that now? Mate, that's... What are you doing after this? Yeah, fuck all. I would love to do that. But look, before we get to that next week's episode, which is obviously going to take where the pod really takes off, let's get to our around the world news segments. Something that caught my eye during the week was Elon Musk coming out and saying... Musky. Musky! Coming out and saying that hearing aids AI is going to be smarter than some humans in 2029, and in another 10 years, AI is going to be smarter than all the humans put together. Some humans? It's fucking already smarter than me. 100%. He would know. Hey, don't say it like that. No, I'm just saying. I'm just, hey, I'm not trying to be mean. It's just like... It's just the way it came out. Yeah, it's just the way it came out. You learn a lesson from that as well. Don't be such a mean cunt. Yeah, well, I'm trying not to be mean, but I'm also like people are freaking out about AI and all this stuff, and I'm kind of like... So they should. Nah, that's fucking awesome. Oh, it's amazing. On one hand, you're like, there's literally movies about this. Anyone seen iRobot? I know people stopped watching Will Smith after the whole thing, but there's a movie about... The flat. Yeah, that's that. Keep your wife's name out... I don't know what the fuck it is. But... What a fucking idiot. Talking about overreaction. Yeah, we'll get back to AI in one second. Let's bring up Will Smith and give him a call, because that motherfucker's got issues. That's a massive overreaction. You reckon it's drug related? Has he come out and spoken about that? Oh, he's done some stuff since, yeah, for sure. But he's a fucking idiot, man. Fucking stupid. I actually don't... I used to say that Will Smith was one of my favourite actors without realising it. I went, I don't even realise that I've watched all of his movies. Fuck, I'm actually a fan. I hate him now. Yeah, fuck wit now. Dumb cunt. It's like you love him or hate him. Like Tom Cruise, some people love him, some people hate him. Most people hate Will Smith. You know why? Dumb cunt. Did he slap that guy? I don't feel comfortable calling Will Smith a dumb cunt. I feel like that's... Like the Prime Minister's going to get involved or Vladimir's going to shut down the pod. That's fine. Don't call Putin a dumb cunt, whatever you do. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I said don't. You didn't call Putin a dumb cunt. Never called Putin a dumb cunt. I didn't. You're putting words in my mouth, mate. We like to have fun and play on words. Have fun with yourself, yeah. Yeah, no, we like to, you know, have fun. That would be big if we got Putin on. Oh, it'd be massive. We'd be putting it all over the socials. We'd be putting it up. Yeah. I bet you'd fucking edit that one up next month, wouldn't you? Yeah, well, there's only so many times you can use it. Yeah, so the thing is, we like to do the play on words and the Putin this and the Putin that. Hey, hey, hey, shut the fuck up. Oh, yeah, it's all right. Speaking of world leaders, what's your thoughts on Trump? And don't worry, we're getting back to the AI stuff, but I want to know what's your thoughts on Trump? Um, well, it depends. What's your thoughts? Well, that depends. I'm looking at a test. That's like the footy tipping comp. You go first, and then I'll tell you what I think. I've slowly realised you're just using me. You're just going like... Just drink beer. Yeah, just drink beer. And you're going, like, he's going to run every segment, he's going to ask all the questions, and just, like, it sucks. The input that you have to give is like, oh, fuck, I've got to answer some questions here and there, let me at least get a drink of a few beers. And I just happen to go, yeah, yeah, what do you think, mate? Oh, fuck, I know he's going to make you speak again. I've been talking the whole time. Oh, he's going to make me speak again. When we first started working out who does what, it was like, yeah, I'm going to edit, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. Well, I'll do the run sheet every week. That lasted for fucking one week. And then I'm like, well, you might as well do it. And then it was like, no, no, oh, you know what? I don't think we need the run sheet. Yeah, we decided, oh, it's better not to have a run sheet. We'll just, like, feel the vibes. Yeah, that's great. I'll just do everything. So that job's gone. Now, you just let me know when I've got to buy the beers, and I show up, drink them at least. I'm drinking them. Yeah, you are drinking them. Yeah, you're really, really good at that. Look, personally, I don't like Trump, but... But what about AI? Does he like AI? Well, we'll get to that. I mean, just, like, we've got to get to a lot of stuff because we're getting sidetracked. Rocker's cracking the sheets because he's saying, stick to the run sheet. He can't keep up. It's confusing for the listeners. Samirio, when there's no run sheet, how can we stick to the fucking run sheet? Don't look at my brother like that. Yeah, I texted you and said, you do the run sheet this week. SMS, motherfucker. Why don't you just get ready for your fight, Anthony? Piece of shit. Sorry for swearing. Sorry for swearing. I've told you. I said sorry. B, if I... I can't be bothered with the HR department. Shut up and listen to this. You have to admit that even though Trump is a fuckhead and he's very dumb and lies and he's uneducated and he's just a full-on fucking dickhead... We've got a lot in common with him. ...he is fantastic for a bit of comedy. How good's the fucking... Isn't it? ...the wave right from the hip? Oh, yeah. He waves on the hip and then goes... It's a bit more fucking effort, isn't it? I mean, yes. Abdul Abidadi is dead. He died like a dog. Fuck, it's good. You've been practising that since last week. You tried that last week... I know. ...and it wasn't as good as this week. No, no, it's not. You went away. Instead of editing last week's pod, you practised Donald Trump impersonation and it's paid off. You know what I love? When those fucking idiots interview Trump supporters, those American people that interview Trump supporters, and they just say the dumbest shit and they just get called out and then they're just so obliviously dumb. Like, it just cracks me up, man. Get some of them up. Some of those videos up. Yeah, they're idiots. I know the ones you're talking about, but I don't have any examples, but I'll laugh at it. Yeah, you just keep drinking a beer. Mate, also, there's Biden. Oh, mate. He's an old dumb cunt. Dumb cunt's a bit rough, but... Yeah, play some of his stuff back. Sorry, forgot where I was. No, no, I'm in your house. We're on your podcast. You want to call me dumb cunt? You fucking say it, mate. Nah, we've got to stop swearing. What's the deal with Biden? Yeah, he's a dumb cunt. Oh, man, I tried to set it up again. We're not going to have... We can't edit any of that out. Go again, go again. All right. What are your thoughts on Biden? What are your thoughts on Biden? Dumb cunt. I know it's not... He's not... He's just a face. You know, he's got a whole army of dumb cunts behind him. But quite seriously... One of those people in the world, and they'll cuddle up your leg. You're running around with little kids on the backs of the cave yard. Some of those caterpillar one day, and they said, rather than run around in the photo frames, they said, I'm not going to get you, scat scratch. What? What the fuck are you going to say? You fucking idiot. The stuff he says in speeches like that, that come out to us, what I want to know, what the fuck is your input in these meetings? Like, behind... When you're trying to run the country. You all good with that joke? Yeah, I was all good with that 20 years ago. For a family of old lollies, put lollies in your mouth with sugar. You got to put it all down on the bakery tin, said, wrote down on the sheet, said, march yourself down those new boots. You got to get... You know, that boots you got to tap dance around and the winds in your hair, you got to fall back, so you catch yourself. That's what people are. What the fuck is going on with anything that you said? How is that the fucking leader of the country? Like, like Trump's a fuckwit, but that, like, what? Bring him back. Make America great again. Don't do any of that. You know who should run the country? Putin. He already is. Not Putin. Chris Rock. Ooh. Yeah, I'm all for it. Is that one that... What was wrong with Obama? Nothing. I think he just served these eight years and he's on his way. You can only serve eight years. But Trump's back. How long was he in for? But Putin's got the next 25 years. That... That's scary. I don't know much about him. I don't know much about much. Well, he's a, you know, he's a lovely guy. I wouldn't dare say anything wrong because he's probably listening somehow and he'll, he'll have us assassinate. Oh, no. Don't, don't put a little bit of blue... Don't. Don't. Don't move. Don't move. Don't. Oh, no. What are you talking about? We're all good. Saverio and Anthony are fucking with us. Fucking Putin words in my mouth. Anytime Saverio and Anthony are with us, they'll look after us. They're our, they're our, what would you call them? They're our backstage boys slash security guards. Boys at the back. They're fucking producers, you idiot. Producers. Producers, security guards, backdoor boys. Backdoor boys doesn't sound right. No. They're brothers, for fuck's sake. Oh, have a look at us, we're the backdoor boys. That's not good. They're our bigger brothers. Yeah, bigger brothers is good. Sturdy wings. Bigger brothers, watch this. Love, take me down, do the street. I don't know this one either. It's off, um, uh, Role Models. Oh, yeah. They edit the shit out of this episode. Oh, every fucking week with the singing. Look, somewhere in that mess that we were just talking about, we did mention AI a couple of times. I want to get back to that. I'm really happy with AI. Like, I'm, you know, you, you should be happy because you're going to do a speech at my wedding and you're probably going to need AI. Yeah, I'll see how that goes. You know what I mean? You obviously are happy with it because you use AI for your little jokes and your little page. 100%, because I'm a dumbass. A little side gig. Yeah, so pretty happy with AI, but also, like, pretty happy with just, like, the calculator, or Google. I'm happy with AI, man. Like, I Google shit like, oh, when do I use, uh, uh, there in a sentence? Or, which is the correct way to spell there? And I just, I know the answer. Or, or how, like, I just second guess myself and go, how do you spell about? And I just, like, Google. And it's just, like, That's your, that's your, that's your thing. It is my thing. Oh, you dickhead. I'm all for it. I'm not, like, it's like, oh, AI's going to take over the world. Hopefully it fucking does and makes it better. Yeah, hopefully AI can take over this podcast and fucking fix it up. Oh, it's going to be smarter than us. We won't make decisions for ourselves. I'm all for it. I don't give a. Mate, if I wake up every day and it's going to be smarter than me and it's going to help me make decisions. Put a chip in me tomorrow. What? I'll be first. A fucking blessing. I'll be first in line. Microchip me up. Yeah, chip me up. I've already got the vaccine. Yeah. I may as well get the chip. Yeah. You got the chip? I got the chip. Chip, chip, chip, chip, chip it up. Where'd they put your chip? On my ass. Where'd they put yours? Yeah, same. Nice. Doing nothing. I got mine from a homeless guy Ah, probably going to edit that out. Can you get me a beer? Alright, so back on the footy, I want to know how are you going with your footy tipping, Josh? Not that good. It's only round two. Yeah, I think it's round three though because you had round zero, round one, round two. So round two is round three. So all year now we're going to be like oh, it's only round four but it tends to be round five. Early days, but you're playing it's like the same applies. You start poorly, you're playing catch up and it's the same with footy tipping and I should have played it safe. Obviously, Collingwood let me down, Brisbane let me down and then I've tried on top of that, I've tried to pick another few upsets. I think I went for Richmond which I thought they were Richmond against Carlton. They were paying like three dollars fifty or something. Well, maybe not that much but good odds. They only went down by three points. That would have been a ripper. That would have been a ripper on the punt and a ripper on the tipping comp. Yeah, tipping would have got you. Collingwood let me down. Yeah, your Sydney one. You said to me, you go, Sydney, you're paying like two dollars fifty, man. Yeah, that was- You know, pies are no fucking shilling and you should have got on that. You would have got on it too. Yeah. Well, I had Richmond into Sydney multi. That would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah, that would have been good. 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