Mishandled Mistakes 3

In this radio program called "My Story," Pastor Cornelius discusses the topic of mishandled mistakes in relationships. He talks about two types of partners to be careful with: the ones who want progress too fast and the ones who hold on to past issues. He emphasizes the importance of creating the right environment to handle mistakes and failure in relationships. Pastor Cornelius uses the example of a basketball player to illustrate that failure is a stepping stone to success. He encourages failing forward, creating safe spaces for others to fail, and failing fast in order to make corrections early on. The goal is to learn from mistakes and improve the relationship. Welcome back. I am excited. This music is amazing this morning. I'm just over here clapping my hands and lifting them. Excited about what we are talking about even in this conversation. This is Pastor Cornelius right here on SALT Radio. And this program is called My Story where we're dealing today with a topic called mishandled mistakes. And we just got through focusing on the two types of partners to be careful with. We discussed the babes who want it too fast scenario where partners may seek rapid progress or commitment in relationships which can lead to misunderstanding and unmet expectations. And we also touched on the seniors who hold on too long. There are dynamic where partners hold on to past issues preventing the relationship from moving forward. And we are going to explore strategies to address these situations and foster healthy communication. What I want to jump into now really helps us to pull together some of these things because there's no point in just pointing something out. I hate it when people just identify, but they never give something as a solution. It drives me bad because I'm saying, hey, you showed me who I was, but now give me an answer for my condition. I don't want to go to the doctor and you tell me what's wrong with me. And then you say, OK, well, I'll see you later. This is what you have. No, please give me something that I can go and do, whether holistically or whatever, so that I know what my next step should and ought to be. So I really want to do what I call creating the right environment that people can do to build into how do you handle mistakes? How do you handle failure? How do you handle it? And is that what's preventing me from having a successful relationship? I'm reminded I was a big NBA fan, watched basketball pretty consistently, have been following it for years as I don't play as much as I used to anymore. But in Milwaukee, the team there is the Bucks, and they have one of the greatest players on their team destined to certainly be in the Hall of Fame. We just don't call him Giannis because his last name is hard to pronounce. He's Greek. And so we call him the Greek freak. But Giannis, they won the championship a couple of years ago, I think in 22, and they lost in 23. I think they may have won 21 to be more accurate. And they lost in 22 and in 23. And he was doing what's called a presser after the final game in the playoffs. They had lost in the first round of the playoff series last year in 23. I think it was in February or so. And they lost, and they were not able to advance. And so the reporter asked him a question that kind of went viral. And he said, do you consider this season a failure? Do you consider the season a failure? He had just scored 38 points, and he was visibly taken aback by the question because he's like, man, you asked me this question last year. No, I don't consider my season a failure. I didn't fail, but I didn't win because failure implies that it's over. But he says that what it is is actually steps to success. The Milwaukee Bucks hadn't won a championship in 50 years or so. Fifty years in 1971, they won the championship, and then they won it again in 2021 where Giannis led them in that. And he said, we didn't fail for 50 years. We were in the process of becoming champions. We were in the process of getting there. It's the steps that you take in order to do so. And a lot of times what I find out in relationships is they're like a lot of reporters. People can report on it but never consider what it actually takes to win. If you're going to win in relationships, you're going to have to go through the process to develop what you need to so that you can be better the next year, the next month, the next part of the relationship, because it's not always going to be the honeymoon. They're going to be ups and downs, and they're going to be changes, and they're going to be processes that you have to go through. And if you're willing to do that, then you can manage those mistakes that you make. You can manage them because one of the ways that you want to fail is you always want to fail forward, meaning if I fall down, am I closer to my goal than where I was when I started? And if I fail forward, I didn't actually fail. I learned something. I got a lesson out of it. And a lot of times in our relationships, we are so quick that we want instant success that we won't go through the process of failing. If I don't like how this works, how can I change it? What adjustments can I make so it can be better? Those are the kinds of things that if we change the way we approach these ideas, we can do some amazing work because that's how life really works. That's how things get better because when we learn from our mistakes, then we can fail forward. But also, we don't want to just fail forward. We also want to make sure that when we fail, we create safe spaces for others to fail because oftentimes in relationships, in particular, ladies, it's behind the curtain now. In particular, for men, men are not generally allowed to fail in public, and they have rare moments where they can fail in private. And what you can do in order to secure and make a better relationship for yourself and your significant other is to allow them to be able to have a safe place to fail so they won't stop trying. One of the things about sports, it teaches us you're not going to win every game. One of the things that we learn is you're going to have to take the shot. And sometimes you win, and you hit the winning bucket on the last shot. But guess what? You've got to have the confidence to take the shot. And the confidence to take the shot is that if I do miss it, they're not going to say that I'm a failure. They're going to say, hey, man, let's go back in the lab and work on it some more so that you can take that shot every time. And nine times out of ten, we want you to be able to make it. And in relationships, that's what I think we ought to do is we need to go back into the lab and make sure that we're able to make it so that even in the moments when it feels like failure, we can find out, wait, I didn't fail. I had an opportunity to make it better. And so sometimes just making it better changes everything. So we want to fail forward. We want to have a safe place to fail. But also we want to make sure that we want to fail fast. Now, that may sound a little strange to you. But if I'm going to get it wrong, let me learn what I did wrong quickly or early in the relationship so that I can make the correction quick enough that it doesn't impact the future of the relationship. So I want to fail fast. If I learn that you don't like a particular kind of flower, if I brought you daisies and you like roses, now if I fail with the daisies, now I know don't bring her daisies. I failed that first flower, but now the rest of them I'll bring lilies or whatever it is that you prefer because now I know what that looks like. And so sometimes you want to be able to make sure that you can fail fast. So fail safe, fail fast, and make sure of all the things you do you get up and try it again. Hey, listen, we're getting ready to jump right back into some good gospel music right here on Salt Radio. My name is Pastor Cornelius, and you're listening to my story. I'm pulling the cover back on men, and I'm kind of showing y'all ladies how to handle us. So when we make these mistakes that we don't always have to be liable as a failure. We just be labeled as a person who mishandled our mistakes. But when we work together, going through the process, getting back in the lab, we're going to work this stuff out together. All right. See you on the other side of the break.