Podcast #64: Shabbat Chol Hamoed Pessach

The speaker discusses the concept of joy and mindset in relation to the holiday of Pesach. They differentiate between joy that depends on external factors and joy that is a state of mind. They argue that the joy of acquiring material things is temporary and false, while the joy of mindset is more fulfilling. They also discuss the importance of choosing life and finding joy even in difficult circumstances, using examples of personal tragedies and the resilience of soldiers. The speaker emphasizes the need to focus on the positive and live fully, despite challenges. Good morning, we are in the middle of Hol HaMoed Pesach and it's a very hot day, it's very early in the morning but still we can feel the heat, we have a really very strong heat wave right now, but it's Hol HaMoed and it's a weird Pesach, it's a very strange Pesach. It's weird indeed and of course as always you tackle this head on in your drashah, we are discussing the drashah that you circulated in honor of Pesach just recently, so many of our listeners will have read the drashah but we will discuss it because there are some things we need to go deeper into in the drashah, especially, let's begin with this Alisha, with the notion of Simcha and joy because many people in Israel are struggling and by the way many people refuse to say Chag Sameach, a lot of people don't say that, but you addressed this head on and let me just read your take on this, quoting, there are two types of joy, joy that depends on something and joy that does not depend on anything. The joy that depends on something is self-evident, easy to understand, but this is contingent joy and then there is joy that is a state of mind, a mindset and there is a huge difference and just before I ask you to comment Alisha, I'm an economist and we economists have sold a terrible fallacy to the world called capitalism, which is about the joy that comes from acquiring more and more wealth and more and more stuff. This is what you describe as the joy of things and Alisha, the joy of things is so ephemeral and so false because it isn't really joy and even our own economic theory explains it. I'm very fond of ice cream Alisha and that first spoon of ice cream is wow, amazing, but the 15th or the 20th spoon, it's not at that grade at all and that's called the law of diminishing utility and the more stuff you have, the less important it becomes and that's a trap in the joy of things, but the joy of mindset is a different ballgame completely. Yes, yes and it's somewhat hard to explain because we're so used to, you know, what do you mean, of course, if there's something joyful, you rejoice, if there isn't, there isn't, then you're not joyful, at best you're neutral, assuming there's nothing upsetting you, so you can be neutral, but yes, there's a basic state of being, a state of mind of being joyful, which I didn't expand on that much in the Darsha, somewhat deliberately because the point of the Darsha really was to say that we're habitually always looking for that which doesn't work and it's an evolutionary greatness, in fact, because we want to be ready for every possible disaster and not be caught off guard, but yes, this idea of where do we focus our attention, it's quite amazing, we were sitting at the Passive, we said we're about, you know, close to 30, I think we're 29 people, in your kibbutz, on the kibbutz, right, it was just family, but it was on the kibbutz, I mean, it was a bunch of families together, but all somehow related, we usually celebrate this group every year together, and obviously there was a lot of gloom in the air, and a lot of sadness in the air, and people had been listening to all those who were saying, you know, this year we're not going to say Chag Sameach, etc., so we discussed it at the beginning, I did like an introduction to the Seder, like an opening, and we had, just like you did, we had a vacant chair to symbolize waiting for the hostages to return back home, and all kinds of, we had all kinds of special Haggadot that were just produced recently, with readings that we all read, but nevertheless, just like, look around, look at all these amazing people that were sitting around, how can we not rejoice when all these people that we love so much are sitting around the Seder table, look at the table itself, look how festive it looks, look how much food there is, and it was really funny, because those who organized the food for the Seder said, well, this year, we're going to keep it somewhat simple. Well, simple it wasn't, and if it was, I didn't notice, it was delicious, it was joyous, and then someone commented somewhere later on in the Seder saying, you know, I'm really enjoying the food, and I feel somewhat guilty. Why guilty? Of course, because the hostages right now cannot eat this amazing food, and I thought about it a lot. Is that helpful? You know, why feel guilty about it? I can understand it, I understand the feeling, I understand the feeling that here we are, sitting, enjoying our meal while there are these hostages. You know, it could have been us, it could have easily been any one of us who are not eating right now, and indeed, we need to do everything we can to bring them home, we need to do everything we can, even if we can't bring them home, because we're not in the government or the military, or I really believe in the power of prayer, I believe in the power of energy, but I know the one thing will not help. Feeling guilty and not feeling joy, resisting joy is not going to help the hostages, and I didn't quite say it in the Rasha, but I really believe that a strong Israel, a strong vibration, a strong and a vibrant energy in Israel will, in all kinds of ways, some of them I can explain, some of them are more miraculous, will strengthen the hostages to gloom and guilt are not going to do any good whatsoever to bring back the hostages or to keep them there, more sustain them somehow while they're still there. And Elisha, I want to connect this issue of joy, Simcha, with the commandment, choose life, because they're directly related, and in a sense I think that having a joyous mindset, like the Hasidim tell us and teach us and show us, having a joyous mindset is a mitzvah, and I want to explain with an example. One of my favorite authors is David Grossman, and he's a wonderful author. Maybe later I'll quote from his wonderful novel, A Horse Walks Into a Bar, which is amazing, but he suffered personal tragedy. He has three children. He had three children. His son Uri was 20 years old, a tank commander, and was killed, one of the last soldiers to be killed in the Second Lebanon War in 2006. His tank was hit by an anti-tank missile, and he was killed. Let me read this, and I'll explain. This is from David Grossman. He was writing in The Guardian. In the night between Saturday and Sunday, at 20 to 3 in the morning, our doorbell rang. The person said through the intercom that he was from the army, and I went down to open the door, and I thought to myself, that's it. Life's over. But five hours later, when Michal and I went into Ruthie's room, that's a little girl, to wake her up and tell her the terrible news, Ruthie, after first crying, said, but we will live, right? We will live, and we will go on hikes like before, and I want to continue singing in a choir, and we will continue to laugh like always, and I want to learn to play guitar, and we hugged her, and we told her that we will live. The wisdom of a little girl who is saying, in the face of death, we will choose life, and we will choose life in terms of simcha, in terms of joy. They're connected. Right, right, right. Yes, absolutely, and there's, I also mentioned in the drasha, that it's a really interesting phenomenon that the soldiers, before going to battle, they write a letter to the parents in case they don't come back, which I find to be an amazing, amazing notion. Like, having your soldiers sit down and write a letter, that means there's no denial. There's no denial. We're going out to battle, and we might not come back from battle, and having them write a letter to their parents, and time after time, the letters are quoted in the media when one of those soldiers does indeed not come back if they're killed in battle, and the letters, if they have one thing in common, is time and time again, the soldiers say, if I don't come back, if something happens to me, promise that you will continue living, that you will rejoice, that you will, obviously, there's going to be a mourning period. Obviously, there's going to be sadness, and it's natural, but after that, you need to get back to life and rejoice, and I find that to be so incredibly powerful because it really is a compass for us too. It's like, even while we're at war, while this is happening, while we have this painful story of the hostages, which is making this whole war so much more difficult and painful, at the same time, we're commanded to live, because as you said, there's a commandment of choose life, and I think people often diminish this commandment of choose life, of eat healthy, refrain from smoking, don't do anything harmful, that too, that's important, but choose life doesn't just mean that, it really also means choose to live fully, have a full, full experience of life, and that is a very Jewish idea, that's uniquely Jewish. There's something else that's unique in terms of choosing life, and this is very painful to describe. Many soldiers, after they're killed, and there is a law to this effect, within 48 hours, if we extract semen from the dead body, that semen can be used to create life, literally, and there are parents who choose to do that, and the law that we have in Israel permits it, and there are children who are born to a parent who is dead. No other country even dreams of doing such a thing. This is literally choosing life, even creating life after death. Yeah, it's quite, it's incredible. It brings up so many questions and issues, but it's really, it's really, really powerful. So, your drashah, Elisha, makes a really powerful point. Both you and I are both keenly interested in evolution, and we have slightly different perspectives, but you do note that in terms of evolution, it is functional to be pessimistic, because if you're always thinking about the bad things that can happen to you, then you can prepare for them, and when they happen, you're more ready. We in Israel, we're kind of self-confident and arrogant, and we missed the boat on October 7th. We were definitely not pessimistic, and in terms of evolution, that was a really big risk. So, in a sense, our religion is teaching us to go against the basic nature of human beings, which is to worry about bad things, and we are taught to enjoy the good things, and all of us have to work on that. I grew up in Saskatchewan, and I knew a woman who was widowed fairly early and left alone. That was a big deal in Regina, and she was a teary widow, Elisha, for her entire life in the most inappropriate situations, and I felt for her, but if only we could have talked to her and explained to her that this is not the way. This is not the way. Choose life. Choose life. Right, right. So, it's really the point we're saying here. We were way too optimistic on October 6th, and then October 7th came, and so maybe pessimism is actually a much better way to live. So, how do we deal with that? One of the experts on the situation that I kind of follow, Professor David Passig, who I recommend others to kind of listen to him. He's a professor at Bar-Ilan University. He's actually a professor of education, actually, education and technology, but he is known for his, I think it's called futurism, which doesn't tell the future, not at all, in no sense of the word, but it kind of examines the future possibilities and which one of them is more likely to happen, and he is an incredible optimist, yet in one of the podcasts that I listened to, he said to him, the person who was interviewing him, he said, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. So, he says, so how can you be such an optimist? He says, because, he says, that things go wrong in the process of everything evolving for the better. So, something goes wrong because there's a weak link in that system, and the weak link needs to come into existence or needs to be materialized in order to be improved. So, that which could go wrong, that's where you need to improve it, but why do you need to improve it? Because overall, evolution is evolving towards betterness, towards goodness, and I love, I love this explanation of the weak links are being tested only in order to become actually stronger and better. Absolutely true, and I have proof, Elisha. So, my wife, Sharona, loves flowers, and our house is filled with flowers, and our garden with flowers, and she takes good care of them, and one of our flowers is an orchid. If you look closely at an orchid, Elisha, this is a miracle. This beautiful flower, which is created by evolution, is an absolute miracle. So, yes, flowers are proof of what David Passig says, because flowers have evolved from just an ordinary plant to something so extraordinarily beautiful, this incredible blossom that shoots way up into the air, way above its leaves to attract the pollinators, the bees. Yes, evolution works toward the better, and we are products of evolution. We are human beings evolving from lesser primates. So, yes, absolutely, David Passig is correct. And, you know, looking at orchids, many people, after the blooming phase is over, some people discard their orchid because, okay, it's over, because an orchid, after the flower is gone, the flowers are gone, looks really lame and looks somewhat dead and useless, but if you keep it in the same place, orchids don't actually move too much. If you keep it in the same place, and you continue watering it. Not too much, not too much. Not too much, not too much watering, and certainly sing. Sing to it, it loves singing. We have orchids in our shul here, and I think they're doing so well because we sing a lot at shul, and I think they love our singing. So, when the time comes, all of a sudden, a new branch will shoot and will produce flowers, and it's just amazing to see. So, even when you think something is dormant, and really almost dead, don't throw it out. No, no, no, it's just collecting its energy, just collecting its life force in order to sprout again. Exactly, and two stories, Elisha, one of them you tell, and one of them I found elsewhere, about how joy can directly preserve life and the will to live. First, Natan Sharansky, who was rotting in a Soviet jail in the Gulag in Siberia, and it was Pesach, and he had three dry crusts of bread and three cups of water. He made the three cups of water his cups of wine, and his crusts of bread were his matzah, and he celebrated the Seder. He turned this meager fare into something joyful, and it gave him, I think, a mindset that enabled him to survive really difficult times. Of course, he went on to make Aliyah to Israel. I believe he was head of the World Zionist Organization, and brought great inspiration to a lot of people. And the other story you tell about Harav Halberstam, who was a Holocaust survivor, lost his wife and children in the Holocaust, and on Simchat Torah, in the camps, in the death camps, he had some torn pages of a Mishnah that he had managed to save, and he danced and sang with joy, waving these torn pages of the Mishnah, which for him, his Torah, and as you explain, Elisha, he made Aliyah, and he went on to found a great hospital, Laniado, in Netanya. And a small story, I'm deeply grateful and connected to Laniado. One of our sons lives in Avichayel, which is just north of Netanya, and Alexandra, our daughter-in-law, gave birth to Erez Miriam in Laniado. We experienced Laniado. Elisha, this is one amazing hospital, as you note. So, one response to death, his joy is Simchat, is choosing life, but not philosophically, but by doing things, by fostering life in the face of terrible loss. Yes, yes, yeah, that's right. And yeah, it's interesting, because I think Laniado is a very popular hospital to give birth at. It's people from all over the area, because it's a Hasidic hospital, and life there is celebrated so much that those who come to give birth, the women who come to give birth, it's not, you know, they're coming to celebrate life. Now, it's true for every hospital, birth is a great thing, but when birth is considered to be such a huge joy, people say that at the ward there, it's really felt that you come to celebrate new life in the hospital, not just to deliver a baby, but you come to celebrate the arrival of new life. Exactly, and I really think that the Israeli approach, we use what's called a doula, which is a woman who's an expert at delivering babies, she's not a doctor, she's not an OBG, a gynecologist. She's a midwife, right? She's a midwife, exactly, but she's delivered hundreds and thousands of babies, and she can empathize being a woman. I think this is an excellent approach. A midwife approach to delivery really, really does prove itself. So, Alicia, before we run out of time, I have a poem written by my granddaughter, which I think is highly relevant, and related to one of your strong messages, which is that we really don't see things around us, and we really don't hear things around us. Let me read this poem by Eliana. Eliana will be bat mitzvah on June 28th. You will officiate. We'll be here in Karam Aral. We're looking forward to it. She's a wonderful and talented young lady. She lives in New York with her son, Yohai. This is Eliana's poem that she wrote. It's about eyes. These eyes are blue and green and gray. They're beautiful and big, but I cannot see past the obvious. The obvious stays where it is, but past that is simple colors melting together to make the tie-dye of the New York City streets. These eyes search for more than the obvious. They search for the meanings and answers that they may never get. These eyes are restricted by a frame of the obvious, but they search for the sight of something else. Wow. Wow. That's an amazing poem. Twelve-year-old. Wow. That's really incredible. I'm looking forward to seeing her evolve and discovering what is beyond the obvious and beyond that which our eyes can see. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. Maybe that's also part of the answer to also know it's not only looking for that which is joyous, because there's more joyous than ... There are more reasons to celebrate than there are reasons to mourn. That's always the case. I'll just give a little example. We have a minute or two? Yes, we do. In our neighborhood, one of the most beloved neighbors in our neighborhood died surprisingly. He died yesterday. I saw him yesterday morning. His name was Ilan. He had children, grandchildren. During the day, later in the early hours of the evening, we received a notice that he passed away. He must have had a heart attack or something. As I was walking the dog early this morning, meeting people from the neighborhood, and everybody was talking about Ilan passing away, and it was obviously very, very sad. Yet, I was thinking to myself, we're all going to die one day. We're all going to die one day. He was so loved in the neighborhood. It was amazing to see all the texts people were writing in our neighborhood WhatsApp group and saying, yes, it is sad. He passed away. I believe that he moved on to a wonderful place. I have no concerns about that. Having in our neighborhood, having people who just talk about how much goodness he brought and how much good he did in neighborhood and in general, nothing spectacular, just a small act of kindness, of goodness. That's how he's remembered, and that's how he will be remembered. I think all of us, as we're talking about him, without even saying it, I have a strong sense we're all going to, at least for the foreseeable future, we're going to emulate him a little bit and do a few acts of kindness because we suddenly realize someone with a lot of kindness just passed away. Now, it's our duty to continue the kindness that he cannot do anymore. I saw how even in death, even in sadness, there is the commandment of continued life, of continued goodness in the world. That was very moving this morning. That, Alicia, is a perfect example of the second type of joy that you mentioned because when you do good things for other people, when you are a blessing, as God commanded Abraham, and that's the original obligation of us Jewish people, when you are a blessing, even little blessings, there is a feeling of joy. It's not the same as when you buy a new Apple Watch. It's a totally different ballgame. And many people don't really experience it. There are countries where you live in suburban areas in a big house and you're 100 meters away from the nearest house and you really don't know your neighbors. A neighborhood is an example of that kind of joy. In our neighborhood here in Zichron, we have a neighborhood WhatsApp and we share information. We put a bowl of shesek out on the street so people can come and take it. These are tiny, tiny things, but they're so important to be part of a community and a neighborhood. And the hafta, our congregation, our community, we hug each other. People come to our shul for the first time and they see how people hug each other and they are astonished. My wife and I went to a different shul on Shabbat and people there didn't even greet each other, let alone hug each other. And we felt it. We felt it deeply. So yes, the joy of love, the joy of love. Yes, yes. So we have a few last days of Pesach. So by the time you'll receive this, it will be like the tail end of Pesach. So I want to wish you that even if this is a somewhat more like somber, solemn kind of Pesach, to really be committed to life, committed to joy, because that's the best answer to what's going on right now. Not gloom and doom, but rather to really choose life and choose joy. They tend to increase themselves and spread and bring goodness all around and just turn things around. And there is an antidote to feeling down and feeling depressed. And it's not a little blue pill, but it's simply doing things, doing little things, doing things for other people that make the world better. In the face of a world that seems bad, make it better in your own little area, even in small ways. And that will bring you an innate sense of joy. And it doesn't help anyone to be in a down. It's understandable. It's difficult. It's part of human life. But it's not constructive or helpful to be in a down. And we are commanded to choose life, which is to choose to be an up rather than a down. So Chag Sameach, everyone, and Shabbat Shalom. And we will talk again next week. Chag Sameach. Shabbat Shalom.