Tired of Being a Student

The podcast episode discusses exhaustion and burnout, particularly for black women in academic spaces. The guest, Sophia Coker, talks about imposter syndrome and her strategies for overcoming it. She shares how her parents, both educators, influenced her love for learning. Sophia also discusses the importance of rest and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. She mentions utilizing support systems such as writing centers and therapy. She emphasizes the impact of support from her family and teachers. The episode concludes with a reminder of finding strength in community and resilience. Welcome to Tired of Being Tired, where we delve into the depths of exhaustion and burnout, exploring the experiences of women, particularly black women, navigating fatigue in today's world. I'm your host, Helen Seleshi. Fannie Lou Hamer's powerful words, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, serve as a poignant reminder of the ongoing struggles against systemic injustices. This sentiment resonates deeply, especially for those of us navigating predominantly white academic spaces, where exhaustion and feelings of being overlooked can be all too common. Today, we're joined by a remarkable guest and personal friend, Sophia Coker, a scholar at Tufts University, whose dedication to learning and community engagement is truly inspiring. Sophia, how are you doing today? I'm low-key tired, but I'm good. I'm good. Happy to be here. And I love that, because that is right on theme with our show. Exactly. I would say that for a lot of my life, I've been driven by a pursuit of excellence, however I define that. But ever since I was a kid, it's like, okay, I've known I'm smart, and I know I want to be great. So what does that look like? Well, it's looking at my corkboard, and it's covered with sticky notes of things I've learned in class and ideas that I have. It just feels like my brain on the wall. I love looking at it, because it's just such a collection of things that I've learned this year alone. Many of us deal with feelings of inadequacy, especially in high-pressure academic environments. Could you describe your personal experiences with imposter syndrome and the strategies that have helped you navigate these feelings throughout your academic journey? My whole life, my mom's been like, you know, you really lose your power when you believe that you don't have it. But, you know, my advice for imposter syndrome is, like, I definitely still feel it all the time, but what I tell my friends and other people is, like, you just have to remember, like, nobody knows as much as you. That could be a total lie, but just tell yourself that. You know, you walk into the room, you're the biggest, baddest person out there, and you just have to really have that confidence, like, make yourself feel bigger, so that when you walk into the room, you don't shrink yourself, because who else is in there with you? With both of your parents being educators, I'm curious about how their influence has shaped your approach to learning and intellectual curiosity. Can you discuss how their values and attitudes towards education have impacted your own learning methods and philosophy? I love my parents so deeply. Like, I really believe that I am the reason that I am because of them. So, my parents are both teachers, like Helen just said, and since I was a kid, like, learning has been, like, a household staple. So, my dad, he's like a serial schooler, like, he got his master's and his PhD, and for all the years that he's doing his PhD and his master's, my mom also has one or two master's, like, our upstairs hallway was a whiteboard wall. So, at any point in my life, we had a whiteboard, so it's like, in my room now, you see that I still have a whiteboard, because that's just been such a staple. Without them, I don't even know, like, who I would be. I love to read, and it's because of them, like, our family play dates would be going to the library, going to Borders, and even now that I'm, like, older, the conversations that we have at dinner, it's about colonialism, it's about race, it's about what's happening in Palestine. It's about what we talk about, and they're the ones that teach me things, and I teach them, and it just always feels so fantastic to get into conversations with these people, because they're so smart, like, I love talking to them. It's just, it's so fun. So, you've emphasized the importance of rest and maintaining high productivity. Could you explain your approach to integrating sufficient rest with your demanding academic schedule? What practices or routines have you found most effective in achieving a healthy work-life balance? Yeah, I definitely look like I have that, but I definitely have a schedule, a really intense schedule that I stick to. I don't stay up late. I stayed up late the other night, but that was just, you know, dire circumstances. I really don't believe, for me, that I accomplish anything better after 1 a.m. than, you know, after 6 a.m. Like, that whole period is when I should be sleeping, because I can't get my day done if I don't sleep. That's for me. It just would not work. It's doing things for fun, you know, like going for that run, or like, I love, Helen knows this, I watch TV when I do homework at all times. I can see that, I know that. When you notice signs of academic fatigue setting in, what are your first steps in addressing it? Are there specific activities or changes in your routine that you find particularly rejuvenating or helpful? Bruh, first thing I do is kiss my mom. I'm like, Mom, I'm sick of this. I am sick of this. I hate this class. I hate school, but, like, it never sticks. But I felt very apathetic to everything, and I'm like, oh, that's burnout. It took me a while to recognize it, and it was such a bizarre feeling, because I'm usually so excited about everything, but nothing was bringing me joy, nothing was sparking interest. Like, finding time to read, journaling again, like, going for runs, because, again, exercise has always been my way to, like, come back into myself, saying, you know what, respectfully, not doing that homework, not going to do that assignment, going to watch TV, watch the shows that I love. I always have the intention to start baking again, haven't done that yet, I just, I'm tired. And all of those things, I feel like, are how I try and combat academic fatigue, but easier said than done. You are listening to the first episode of Tired of Being Tired, with your host, Halad Seleshi, and today's guest, Sophia Coker. How important have support systems, such as friends, family, or university resources, been in helping you manage periods of academic fatigue? Could you share how you've utilized these supports to stay motivated and engaged? I feel like I use everything all at once. Writing centers, for me, this year, have been really helpful with all my applications that I was doing. I still have a weekly meeting with a Star Center tutor, this black woman, her name is Jada, she's so sweet. We just meet on Zoom every Tuesday and just do co-working together. Therapy, I started that again because I was like, you know what, this brain, this is a lot right now. I stay chronically busy and I always have plans, but sometimes I feel like my mind is elsewhere, and I think that's one of the problems with being chronically busy, like, someone will be talking to me, but I have to think about my homework, I will be thinking about something else, but I'll try and stay present. I don't know, it's hard, sometimes it feels like my brain is going 50 million miles in like 50 different directions. I think the reason why I've been able to achieve the way I have is because, again, a sheer grit and determination. I'm a very intense person, and I just, I love the things that I do, but also because of the support that I have. Like, I've always been a very, like, held up person. Like my family group chat, seriously, it's kind of like a rainfall or like a trickle effect, because if I text my mom that I'm stressed about something, she'll text my brother Omari, and then Omari will be like, you got this, like, don't stress out, like, he literally, I don't even have to text him, and he'll be like, you know what, don't worry about it, and it's the same thing with him. When I was a kid, one of my favorite memories is when I'd be doing homework, my independent school where I always felt like I had to prove myself, it'd be like 12, 1, I'm up for God knows why doing like biology homework. My parents would be up, they're sleeping on the couch, but they're like, we're here, like, let us know if you need any help, even though you know they're dead asleep and they don't know biology like that. Just like having that support, I really feel like set me up to thrive. Teachers do too much, my dad is too, like, he assigns too much homework, like, for real, please. I just, it's hard because sometimes it feels like they want to push you, but they also don't realize that you have so many other classes and so many other commitments. Like, I don't understand why it's so penalized when you're late on an assignment. Like, at the end of the world, sure, they're teaching you, like, responsibility, how to turn things in in time, but they're also teaching kids to internalize really young, to be afraid of failure, you know, in a way that's just so unhealthy to learn at an early age. While I love school, it's also my biggest demon, like, that's where I get all a lot of my imperfections, the perfectionism, like, the fear of failure, all of those things are also related to school, you know, like, but I've also had teachers that I adore at Tufts. Professor Manjopra, he's not here anymore, but freshman year, his class has really shaped my outlook on life. Freshman fall, colonialism and global perspective. I just learned what a classroom could look like. We would start on Zoom, every class was like a meditation or like a centering workshop, and he just had the most calming voice ever. I've had professors that really uplift me, but also ones that are just like, you assign too much work, and I could tell you don't actually value your students, you just value the work that they turn in or your position, and that's the tea. Thank you, Sophia, for sharing your insights and experiences with us. As we wrap up, remember, in the midst of exhaustion, we find strength in community and resilience. This is Helm Seleshi signing off from Tired of Being Tired. And we are tired of being tired.