2023-12-20 at 14_25_ Voice

In the pilot episode of Let's Talk SHIT, host Izzy Silverstein discusses self-help and healthy coping mechanisms for younger audiences. The episode focuses on managing stress during college applications. Izzy interviews Belle Sarah, who shares her experiences and stresses the importance of getting started early and not comparing oneself to others. They also discuss the concept of dialectal behavioral therapy as a coping strategy. Hello, and welcome to the pilot episode of Let's Talk SHIT, the show where you learn to talk less shit about yourself. I'm your host, Izzy Silverstein. So for the record, SHIT in this title really stands for Self-Help is Timely, as this podcast is mainly geared to teach younger audiences to advocate for themselves and learn some healthy coping mechanisms. So just a disclaimer, I am not a professional in this field. I am a high school student. I'm currently a senior and I'm kind of just creating this podcast to give other people my age kind of insight into what I've been through, what I've experienced, what I've learned. Not really getting into the nitty gritty of, you know, like what I've gone through, but kind of just like explaining, you know, what I've learned and what has helped me and going over basic topics that I feel like a lot of students, even in like their 20s in college, like in general, like ways to help people. So today we are joined by Belle Sarah and we're going to be talking about ways to manage stress around college applications. So first things first, Belle, would you like to say hi? All right. So first question I have for you is what was the most stressful part about college applications? And did it ever get in the way of your current classes in school, like your focuses, your peers? I guess the most stressful thing was definitely my perfectionism. Like the fact that I got in my own head about my application was more stressful than actually doing them. And it totally got in the way of like a lot of things, including my social life, my school. Like I would just go and cry about having to fill out a piece of paper. And I would just be like, oh, what if, you know, this school is not going to pick me because I wrote this this way or this like I don't have this extracurricular that somebody else might. And I would just get in my head about it. Definitely. It's like we couldn't see my thoughts. So what you're saying is a lot of people stress more than they need to. Like, obviously, there's going to be some stress. You know, there's pressure with going to college. It's like a huge thing. Even if you're not going to college, just moving forward in life, you know, completing any application or job interview, you're obviously going to be stressed at some like to some level. That's pretty important. So what you're basically saying is, you know, like for you personally, like you stressed a lot more than you felt like you needed to. Like getting started was probably one of the worst parts. Yeah, definitely. And I totally feel like I wasn't alone with that either. Yeah, of course. Pretty common. Yeah, I feel like I saw that a lot, too. And, you know, even for myself, you know, Wilton High School, we have expository writing class where you're supposed to, you know, like draft up your college essays. However, like for me personally, I felt I felt as if, you know, like there was never going to be like that perfect topic. It was like there was always something else that I wanted to write about, like something else that I thought was a better option. And, you know, in the end, like I kind of just I had to put my foot down. I was like, you know, I got to get it done and I have to submit something. And this sounds good. I'm confident in this topic. It's important to brainstorm a lot, but it's important to also, you know, focus on one thing. Because if you're if you're focusing on so many different topics for your college essay, you're going to be all over the place. You're never going to be able to pick one. You're never going to get it done. And then you're going to like procrastinate. And so it's really just like important, I guess, for viewers to understand is that, you know, it's all going to work out. You just you have to get started. There are a lot of people that waited to start a lot of their college things like after the summer. And I think that starting things a little before the summer, even if it's like brainstorming ideas for your college essay or like visiting schools, the spring of your junior year, really just like setting yourself up for that success. So when fall comes and you're submitting your applications, you're not just like left with nothing. Like you don't you don't have a starting point. Would you say that's pretty fair? Yeah, probably because I was that person and I didn't start my essay or my college applications until two weeks before they were due. And honestly, like in a way, I found that helpful because it prevented me from like picking between 50 different topics. But the essay and overthinking my application and rereading it because I was like, I know I just have to get this done and I'm submitting whatever I have. But also, like, I wish I did that process and gave myself that time window earlier, like in the summer when I had nothing else to do. Yeah, I totally agree with that. And I see that perspective as well. So, I mean, right now this is like kind of like Christmas, Hanukkah, you know, like winter break season. It's also the season to stress about college applications. I mean, most people already have theirs in. I mean, I feel like a lot of people are just like stressing about, you know, like everyone's getting into school. Yeah. I mean, like a lot of schools, you know, you're getting responses by, you know, like January 1st, February 1st. Imagine like getting an application response on like Christmas, like you're just you're sitting here waiting. And a lot of the stuff isn't even in your control anymore. A lot of your application, you know, isn't your control. But, you know, you've gotten to the point where most of your, if not all of your applications are submitted. So, you know, a lot of people stress about, you know, making the right choice, committing to the right school. Early decision is a huge commitment. Like you get in, you're going. You're not really going to back out of that. So another huge topic that I feel like comes up is like comparison, like comparing yourself to other people, schools they've gone into, your statistics, like SAT scores. What do you kind of like think about all that? The idea of like comparing yourself with schools? I don't necessarily think comparing yourself to somebody else is beneficial. Because one, comparing yourself to somebody else isn't going to change like the stats that you have. And also each school is looking for a different personality type. So if you think of it from the perspective of does this school fit my needs rather than, oh my God, like are they going to want me to go to their school because, you know, I have this and this person's got all this stuff. Having certain extracurriculars or grades are going to be weighed differently depending on which school you go to, which major you're looking at. Like schools are looking for all different types of people with all different types of backgrounds. So, you know, you don't necessarily have to fit like one mold to go to college because, I mean, you go to, you go to a college and there's all different types of people there. Yeah, I totally hear you. And I agree with that entirely. I mean, like, you know, you say it's not beneficial, but I mean, like, I feel like a lot of people end up people like end up comparing themselves to others. Do you think that's like that happens? I think it does. Like for the most part, I try to stay out of those conversations just because I knew that, like at least the people I was talking to, like I'm looking for different career paths than they might be. Like, for instance, I have certain friends who are looking to go down like a business route. And so they're really focused on like math and sciences, whereas like I'm looking for social services. So, like, you know, I have to have different different criteria. Yeah. Yeah. And then I think another thing is like, you know, at least for me, it was like, why didn't I do X, Y and Z? Why didn't I try harder in this and try harder in that? And I think what a lot of people need to understand is, you know, they did the best with what they had and what they knew at the time, even if it doesn't feel like it now. Like sometimes I'll tell myself, oh, I should have spent less time on my phone. But, you know, like. Life happens, you know, I mean, like, you know, we're we're in an age of technology where kids are going to be on their phones, you know, like I used to beat myself up about my grades, but I don't have bad grades. And I think that for everyone, having good or bad grades is such like a subjective topic. Everyone has different goals. Like you said, like there are a lot of people going to like business, your social services or like all these different areas of interest where there are like where the weight of what you do is very, very different. So I think that personally, like if you're going to start comparing yourself to other people, first of all, you shouldn't do that. But like if you're going to be doing that, like logistically, like you need to think about yourself, like, you know, what you did to get to where you were with the tools you had. You know, that was the most you could do. And you can't you can't ask for anything else other than trying your best. You try your best. You can't really do anything else. So as far as like coping strategies. So I want to jump into DBT, which is dialectal behavioral therapy. You know, this is a type of therapy. This is probably the area of therapy that's probably one of my favorites. So dialectal behavioral therapy really talks about acknowledging that two things can be true at the same time. For example, if there's like a black and white lampshade, you know, I could say, oh, the lampshade's black. And that could be.