master happy

The podcast episode is about the importance of happiness and joy in our lives. The host encourages listeners to reflect on what brought them joy as children and what they wanted to be when they grew up. She discusses how societal expectations and responsibilities can lead us away from our true happiness. The host emphasizes the importance of analyzing what triggers unhappiness and suggests making changes to align with our core desires. Welcome to the Beauty Pro Elite Podcast. I'm your host Jeanne Ann Kenning and my mission is to help beauty business owners create a dynamic business they can be proud of with marketing, mindset, finance, and social help so you can start attracting those dream clients and building a brand you always wanted and deserve. If you are ready to explode your beauty biz then this is the place for you. It's time to get started. All right, buckle up. Here we go. Episode four of the Beauty Pro, I almost sang for you, of the Beauty Pro Elite Podcast. My name is Jeanne Ann Kenning. Welcome. Today we're going to talk about something that seems to be thrust into my universe multiple times over the last seven days. So this podcast is entitled, Happiness What Is It? Really? So many times over the last seven days this topic has been thrust into my universe so I'm taking this as a clue that, you know, happiness and joy in your life is something that we often overlook because of duty, because of things that we feel obligated to do when really it shouldn't be that way and we lose sight of that. So right from the moment that we are born, you know, as children we have no expectations, no responsibilities. We're just kids and we're showing up as we are and we're happy to do the things that we do. So as we go through this podcast, if you can and it's safe to do so, I would encourage you to grab a pen and a piece of paper because I'm going to ask you to write some things down as we go through this half an hour together and this is going to really bring this topic to the forefront of your brain. So my first question to you is, when you were a child and you had no responsibilities, no expectations set on you, nobody to impress, nothing like that, what was it that made you happy? What was it that you used to do all the time that just brought you joy and happiness? I used to ride horses when I was little. I actually used to go to daycare after school on a horse farm and I loved horses. It was such a big thing for me and it still does bring me massive joy even to this day but I have gotten out of it in the last 15 years. So that question, I want you to write down the things that you remember that brought you joy from when you're a child. So what happens is when we get older or we get to be in our teens, let's say, we start to feel the expectations from society, from family, from friends, from you know teachers, whatever. You have to go to university, you have to go to college, you have to do this, you have to do that. I can tell you hundreds of times I've had those conversations with people about, I went to university for this but then I ended up doing that or I went to start doing this and then I started working for this. We have those expectations on us because we feel like we have to do it. So question two to write down was, when you were little, what was it that you always told people you wanted to be when you grew up? What was it that brought you happiness to think about when I grow up I'm going to be this? Because I can tell you, I mean for me, I started in the hospitality industry when I was 13 years old and I worked all the way in the hospitality industry until I was 30 and I went to college for that for four years but I only went to college and I only trained in that industry because I had expectations from my family that that was what I was going to do, right? And that I had to go to college and I remember thinking I didn't even want to go first of all and how much I just didn't want to do it but I didn't know anything else otherwise, right? I didn't know at the time as a 17 year old which is wild to think about it. What I wanted to be or what I wanted to do it was just like that's what I was good at and that's what I knew so I went to college for that. So when we look at the transition from there then we get into responsibility, okay? So now we're talking about we're out of college and we get married, we have children, right? And you know and I am NOT going to sit here and say that you know getting married and having children makes you unhappy by any means that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is we lose sight of what it is that makes us truly happy and brings us joy. Anytime I ever talk I will tell you I'm fully transparent, I'm fully honest, I will never sugarcoat things because I don't feel like that is going to benefit anybody in any way so I'm always going to tell the truth, right? And I'm always going to tell my side of what my experience is because that's all I can really speak in full confidence of, right? So when I did this breathwork session this week so I did three, four breathwork sessions this week, a breathwork challenge and then a one-to-one. Happiness and joy were brought up a lot in every single message and this has happened to me a few times in my life where a naturopath once asked me, I had a counselor once asked me, what is it that brings you joy and happiness in your life? And the problem is when we get into this responsibility phase we get into what we think we should be doing like I should be working here because I make more money and I should be doing this because it supports my family but along the way we lose sight of what brings us happiness and joy. And a lot of us you know if you're an entrepreneur or a small business owner a lot of us start in the happy phase but we lose sight of that. So we're going to talk about how to fix that. So you're in that phase where you're you know you take a job or you start to do something out of obligation right now what really brings you joy you're even further away from it right now you're like 20 steps further right then you get into a phase where I think it's kind of like where I am where you get a little bit older your children are a little bit older and now you start to really think about is this what I want to do with my life is this the legacy that I want to lead right what is it that really truly brings me happiness now I will say a lot of people look at happiness and joy as like a frivolous thing like almost an irresponsibility like I have responsibilities I can't be happy I have to pay the bills listen I totally get that and that is totally normal and justified view of expectation but I am 100% here to tell you you have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring you you have no idea what is going to happen with your life you have no idea what's going to happen with your money you are don't even know what's going to happen with you so if you can't spend your days doing something that you love what is going to happen when you come to the end of your days and you look back one of my greatest fears in life and all and all hundred percent transparency is I never want to come to the end of my days and say oh I really wish I did that or I really wish I did this or whatever right and I didn't do it because of fear or whatever I held back so a lot of the decisions that you know for me especially in the last year that I've made out of happiness were more because of the legacy that I want to lead and the willingness to know that I don't want to leave any regrets on the table okay so a lot of the times when we are unhappy we are aware so this is going to be number one that you're going to analyze I want you to take some time and this is going to be really hard to do this analysis and I want you to take some time and I really want you to analyze the past week or go through the next week and look at what triggers me what makes me unhappy what is it that makes me not feel joy right how many times out there have you been in a job or maybe you're in a job right now or you know somebody who's in a job they're like oh I just hate my job so much I just want to be out of it listen I was in a place that I was not happy I worked with a company that I was not happy it was not a joyful thing for me and daily I knew that it was affecting my happiness but the fear of what's on the other side prevented me from making a change okay now being on the other side of it I can hundred percent tell you the best thing that ever happened to me was leaving that but when you're in that state you're out you stay because of like we talked about out of responsibility out of obligation because you feel like you have to whatever the reason is I want you to look and analyze when you have those moments where you're like oh you know I feel not happy or my life could be better what is happening at that moment is it your health is it your job is it your relationship what is it okay you can keep a mental note you can write it down I just want you to spend a week really analyzing that okay a lot of what's going to come out of that after a week is when you do this kind of like inventory it's going to come back to you know one thing so let's let's use this as an example if I'm a mom and I am unhappy with because all I feel like I don't get enough time with my children or I don't get enough self-care time or I don't get enough downtime the tracing will go back likely to the amount that you work or your job or your business right so the logical solution is how can I change that right like how can I change what is trickling down into this you know spiderweb so to speak from this one core place so when you do this analysis you're actually going to realize that typically one thing will come back to it let's say that you typically are unhappy with the way you look or you feel like you've gained weight or you don't feel well every day well the chances are that's all going to come back to your health so how do you change that right how do you move forward into your happiness to feel better to look better to present yourself in a better fashion right so number one analysis I want you to take some time really putting some thought into it you can write it down you can put it in your phone you can just even think about it it's really hard to tap into this it's a method of bravery and a method of stepping forward in your life to say you know what as a human I need to change I need to be better I need to show up better so what can I do to make myself feel better and when I do that and when I make myself feel happier it's going to trickle into every aspect of your life but a lot of that is you got to do the work and you got to do the hard stuff this is the hard stuff and it's very difficult to look at that but I promise you you will come to connections or common themes am I advocating for you to quit your job if no but if you can physically do that in some method or maybe you go look for another job if you are not happy in your current situation please please please do something to change it okay if you're not happy with the way you look or you're not happy with your relationship or you're not happy with your job or you're not happy with the state of your life you are in control nobody is in control we talked a lot on this podcast about being your own hero you are your own hero if you want to make more money do something to change it when you feel powerless which trust me I felt like that for a very long time until recently in the last year when you are in a state of feeling powerless you almost feel like you can't change that but when you take your power back and you become your own hero you can do anything you can make as much as you want you can show up however you want you can have the relationships that you want but it's up to you to make that change stop living in the same pathways and start to analyze and make the change okay number two physical movement whoo girl I'm telling you this is something that I have a very hard time with but any form of physical exercise whether it's 10 minutes of walking working out at the gym treadmill whatever it is has so many scientific benefits to help you to feel happier the endorphins are pumping your mental health is going to be better if you have health issues or you don't like the way your physical appearance is you're going to start to feel better we can talk about this all day definitely I encourage you to move your body for 10 minutes a day that's it 10-20 minutes move your body however it makes you feel good whatever brings you joy take a friend with you take your husband take your dog take whatever animal you want to take with you I encourage you to do that number three sleep I had an interesting discussion with the clients about this and you know part of being a mentor and a coach is looking at the connections between different attributes and traits and habits and where the ultimate source is sleep is a massive contributor to happiness and joy if you are tired and exhausted and you're not getting asleep and you maybe have young children they're getting up in the night everything is going to trickle down from that like that is a massive contributor right like you think about when you are exhausted I don't know about you but I'm not a kind person when I'm exhausted so you need to look at your sleep habits okay so what time are you going to bed what time are you getting up when you go to bed are you having screen time you know I am a little bit of an unconventional coach because I believe that certain things that you have in your life you're you should be allowed to keep right I'm not somebody who's going to come in here and be like take this way do that don't do that like that's not how somebody can lead a happy life and a joyful life so if you're like most people out there when their children go to bed they're like you know my screen time is my reward time that's great okay if you like to scroll on tik-tok and that's what you know you reward yourself once your kids go to bed and that's a quiet time you've got all your work done whatever okay but here's the thing there's a difference between half an hour and three hours right if it's encroaching on you getting quality sleep in the evening you need to cut it down how do you do that I set a timer and it seems like the silliest thing but I'm like okay I'm gonna reward myself with 30 minutes of tik-tok okay so then you set a timer the timer goes off your phone goes off okay that tells you that it is time for it to go off and you can go to bed it seems so silly but it's just that mental note it's the same as like you know you watch an episode of your favorite show and then you're like oh I'll just watch one more it's the same thing no you set a timer for the amount that the episode is on and then when the timer goes off you that's your brain telling you sleep is most important one of the most valuable things that I've ever learned is to prioritize sleep over anything else when you are rested and mindful and can show up in the best version of yourself nothing can stop you I promise you that okay number four put the cell phone down now I will tell you this is a struggle for me I really learned a lot about this during COVID because the amount of negative information and things that we consume from social media is unbelievable so if you are consuming a lot of social media one you're consuming a lot of negative information and two it's going to affect your personal relationships okay have you ever seen those videos of people that are out at dinner with a bunch of people and everybody's on their cell phone or you're at the dinner table and like half the people at the dinner table are on their cell phone that's affecting your relationships okay so now we put our cell phones down we are interacting with people we are engaging with the people in our families we are not consuming so much negative information and media now I want you to look at some sort of mindful practice now this is something you guys that I don't know why I've been so resistant but you know I'm a big personal advocate for personal development counseling anything I can do to show up in the better version of myself and I'm telling you I probably had at least 20 counselors or coaches tell me about meditation and breath work and I've resisted for a very long time I don't know why it's so funny everybody's always like you should meditate you should meditate and I'm like yeah yeah yeah whatever so the thing with having meditation and or a breath work practice or a mindfulness practice that works for you is it's going to allow your brain to process not only past traumas and emotions but to center yourself and ground yourself into the moment and what's happening right now so for those of you that don't know my story I like my personal story I can kind of give you a cliff notes version I started my breath work meditation journey in July the beginning of July 2023 because I was on a trip and I suffered a massive panic attack and I reached out to my breath work coach Lauren and I was like I need help like I can't continue being in this anxious state and I opened myself up to the idea of that regular practice do I do it every day absolutely not I do not would I like to definitely but the journey for me what happens when you're in those states is it allows you to process past traumas past emotions anything that's going on in your life so that you can move forward okay if you are full if your trunk is full and it's like overflowing from things that are happening in your life and you're just angry like a lot of people equate it to like you wake up and you're just like ready for a fight right like you're angry and you're just like why is the world against me trust me I felt like that for the last at least six years you need to unpack that then you need to find out why that's happening for you and so breath work has done that for me it really helps to have that regular practice there are so many avenues now for meditation and breath work from apps to coaches to YouTube that you can dive into start with doing it a couple of times a week and just see how it changes your perspective on things how you sleep better I know the days that I have breath work sessions I sleep so amazing and I feel like a million bucks the next day so I actually look forward to it now so I definitely recommend that number six this is a big one gratitude I always start every coaching session and the first one with gratitude if you don't practice gratitude on a daily basis I'm telling you this will change your life grab yourself a journal it doesn't have to be a gratitude journal it can just be a journal from the dollar store and every day you're gonna write five things down that you are grateful for listen I know you're grateful for your kids I know you're grateful for your husband I know you're grateful for your house I want you to start to look at your life every day and say what am I grateful for I'm grateful today that I had a good chat with my lash artist I'm grateful today that I had a good chat with an old client I'm grateful today that my dog is sitting in here being quiet and cuddled up on his chair always sleeping while I record this podcast for you things like that now what happens is your brain starts to condition itself to look for those things to be grateful for these things we talked a lot about this last night on the podcast we were talking in my group mastermind for beauty business owners about taxes and how everybody's in tax season right now and a lot of people look at it as like oh tax season oh horrible right but what happens if you looked at it from a place of gratitude what happens if you looked at it from a place of I'm so thankful that I have garbage pickup I'm so thankful that I have free health care I live in Canada I'm so thankful that my taxes pay for free schooling right I've been to countries that don't have any of that so when you look at it in a different light you're like you know what yeah I'm grateful that I am able to pay for these taxes and I have come from a place of gratitude so I want you to practice gratitude five days a week okay we're gonna start with five days now if you are a beauty business owner or you are an entrepreneur these next few things are kind of tips that will help you to be happier with your business okay every day in my business I talk to female entrepreneurs who are absolutely miserable they want a bit more money they want a better job they want more clients they're fresh they're fed up they're ready for a change I am here to tell you that what typically happens is people will constantly look at it and be like okay when I make $100,000 I'm gonna be so happy when I make $200,000 I'm gonna be so happy when I have full books I'm gonna be so happy I'm here to tell you it doesn't work like that when you get to those points if you haven't looked at what brings you joy and change on a daily basis and what makes you happy it's not gonna make you happy money doesn't make you happy money doesn't it makes life easier for sure it takes the pressure off when you can pay your bills for sure but it doesn't make you happy at the core so first things first if you need to accept where your business is at and then you need to change it so if you are not happy with where your business is at you need to do something to change it okay I can't tell you how many times I would sit in my business and be frustrated and be like I just want more of this or more clients or that then change it get a mentor get a course hire a coach look at programs look at ways to learn marketing what do you need to do to change it stop being a victim of the business and start making the change forward step into what makes you happy how do you get there how are you going to change it stop being miserable in the business and start to change to be happy right I was there I know what it feels like and you can't make yourself or your business happy unless you're willing to do something to change it you are not going to change your business by doing the same thing you're doing right now I'm sorry I said it it's the truth a hundred percent every success that I've had is when I've stepped way outside of the box done something totally different and I'm like oh okay and then it changes and it starts to get better it's a roller coaster you're gonna have ups and downs like you would not believe accept it accept where you are and then change it okay number two perfection is out I am telling you the amount of millions of dollars that I've seen beauty business owners and clients of mine that are developing some sort of program course app whatever sitting on because they are waiting for that moment of perfection or that perfection to show up in their business or the video that they recorded to be perfect or they have to go into a group and show up with a moment of perfection you have to let that go you will never be perfect enough for what you are looking for okay you need to show up you need to take that action but you need to let go of the perfection okay you're never going to be satisfied if you live with that I challenge you I was telling a client yesterday you know when I one of my most popular courses I recorded it in May and at the time I was going through some things and it's good but I wanted to change it but at the time I just recorded it I showed up the best version of myself at the time I could now I'm in a different place in my life so I go back and I redo it and I do it to the best version of myself right and I provide value the best way that I can so perfection is out showing up as you are is in you don't need to look perfect a hundred percent of the time you know if you're recording a video and your kids are screaming in the background who cares nobody cares right you need to show up in the best version and just do the action and move forward in your business when you're holding yourself back waiting for well I'll do it tomorrow because then I can do my hair my makeup and I can you know make sure that the video is perfect and whatever it just keeps delaying the action and when you delay the action your business is not going to move forward right all right success is not the goal this one is hard for me because I always felt like if you you know like I was saying before if you reached a moment in your business whether it was you know a half a million dollars or two hundred thousand dollars or a hundred thousand dollars or fifty thousand dollars that you're going to be successful and that's going to make you happy success is not the goal happiness is the goal what is it that made you become a business owner what is it that made you be self-employed freedom choices the opportunity to do and say and show up however you want to show up right you notice I didn't say anything about money in there but we assume that success is measured by monetary when you should be happy with the things that you have been afforded to have if you are a business owner and you are owning your own schedule I applaud you because it is not an easy ride and you should be happy that you have that opportunity there are millions of people out there that would die to have the opportunity that you have to own your own schedule if you want to go and get your lashes done on a one on a one o'clock on a Friday afternoon go for it right because you have the freedom to do that I applaud that and that to me is success and happiness but when we're constantly looking at the monetary we can't just sit in the happiness of our business because we're waiting for that big monumental numbers that we've put in our head and that all comes back from expectations societal expectations I mean we could talk about that forever finally I'm going to leave you with this thought a lot of the happiness comes back to the expectation about I should be at this point I should be doing this I should be at this point in my business or you know I should be at this point in my journey if you fall down eight times I want you to get up nine times okay you're gonna have obstacles it's sometimes you're gonna feel inside like maybe you're not entirely a hundred percent happy with your business but I want you to ask yourself every time you fall down what is it about your business that you love that makes you happy that makes you want to show up every day and do whatever it is that you are doing what is it if that's you know your clients or you like the freedom or maybe you're a creative and you like doing graphics whatever it is you need to know what it is about that business that makes you happy so that when you do fall down you just get right back up and I'm telling you the secret to the whole thing is tenacity and resilience and getting back up and if you get knocked down you get up again if you get knocked down eight you get up nine times that's how you make money because what happens is people get knocked down and they stay down and they wallow in it and they're sad and they feel disappointed it's like if you if we actually really truly portrayed how difficult it is to own a business and how many failures and things that happen like how many times things have happened to me in my business would blow your mind right how many times I've had problems with clients how many times that I have had clients leave how many times did we have a pandemic and my businesses got shut down and I couldn't see clients for six months all these failures do not define you do not define your happiness inside your business what defines you is the amount of times you get back up and you keep going and you keep going and what eventually happens is you're going to find the lessons in those you're going to find the joy in the journey and so my last question for you to leave this podcast off you can tell I'm very passionate about this topic is this if you were to do something actually I'm going to give you two questions to write down one is what does a typical happy day for you look like when was the last time you had a full day and you just felt really happy was it something you did with your family was it something that you did in your business what did that look like for you okay I really want you to analyze that because we looked at triggers in the beginning but now we want to see where does the root lie in what makes you happy and number two part to that question is what brings you joy okay so this is all going to come circle back around in the beginning I asked you when you were little what made you happy and what brought you joy a lot of that will still trickle through now for me I love our farm animals I will spend as much time as I can when I'm not busy but what I realized what this week was a big factor for me is I've been so busy lately that I haven't dumped into that time with the animals and I've lacked that joy that's just pure unbridled joy time now think about what I said about when I was little I liked horses I liked farm animals it comes in a connection there's no expectation there that is something that is joyful and happy for me so for you what is it that you do that brings you joy is it do you like to work out do you like to read do you like to knit what is it that brings you pure joy do you like to play with your kids what is it and I want you to do once a week one joy time okay so that can be an hour two hours a day whatever you want I want you to start to do that once a week now here's the thing if this podcast has shaken you to your core which pretty much this whole week shook me to my core talking about happiness and what makes you happy I really want you to start to analyze what are some things that you can do to bring that happiness back in so if you are unhappy at your job are there aspects of it that you can change can you leave the job right if you're not happy in your business and you're self-employed what can you do to change that okay I want you to start to step into that happiness and that best version of yourself and to be able to have that life where there's no expectation there's no obligation you are truly doing this because you are happy and when you step into that happy version of yourself everything is so much better your relationships are better your relationship with your spouse your partner your children your family everything is just better right because you have stepped in to the happier version of yourself so I challenge you to really analyze that to bring the joy back into your life you mean it is minus 25 here today I really want to go out and see some of our animals so you know I'm gonna bundle up and do it and that's something that will bring me joy and smile and laughter and because they're hilarious and that will trickle down into everything that I do it trickles down and how I show up for you it trickles down into how I show up for my clients my family my friends everything right life is too short to lead it being miserable and doing things out of obligation we are here to lead the best versions of ourselves we are here to show up in the best way possible and leave the best legacy that we can so that you can come to the all right so if this podcast has shaken you to the core and you're like it's all fine and dandy but I don't even know where to start I am lost in life I'm lost in happiness I'm lost in joy I'm here to tell you from the bottom of my heart and almost tears in my eyes I will not cry on this episode that you can find your joy and you can bring it back I want you to analyze I want you to think about what it is that will bring you joy and if something is seriously making you unhappy you need to change that nothing is out of reach for you nothing is impossible no matter how bad it may seem you have the power to be your own hero to change your circumstance and to make it better so as you go out into the day today after listening to this podcast I want you to really dive into the questions that I asked you dive into what you can do to be better and happy and know that you have the God-given right of being on this universe to lead a happy life so if you are not leading that right now I want you to start to take the steps today to move towards happiness whatever it is you deserve that thank you so much for listening today and I will see you in the next episode hey thanks so much for tuning in today it means everything to me to have your support my mission is to help thousands of beauty business owners grow as big as they possibly can so if you found today's episode valuable the best way to share the love is to screenshot this episode share to your socials or even better share with another business owner perhaps you could leave me a review however you're listening to this podcast and if you are looking for additional support please reach out to me at beauty defined coach on Instagram can't wait to see you next week you