Q3-19870718-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-reflections_on_the_buddhas_fire_sermon_part_ii-1545 Leandra Tejedor

Talk: 19870718-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-reflections_on_the_buddhas_fire_sermon_part_ii-1545 Leandra Tejedor (1) Start_time: 52:49 Display_question: I would like to share about my experience with pain in the body during meditation. Keyword_search: body, hurting, sitting, walking, Barre, pain, ease, fighting, remedy, Hollywood, change, posture, mind, reaction, contraction, wishful thinking, despair, self-pity, dissolve, on fire, rush hour, objectively, irrational, letting go, perfect Question_content: Questioner: Well, this one's come up to me about a zillion times, and it played itself out differently each one. But I get to a point where… you know some part of my body is always hurting, and so I'm thinking, well, if I sit, this part is going to hurt, and if I walk, that part is going to hurt, and if I do this, that part, you know so there's no place to go. So, the bell will ring, and it's time to change position, and I have to decide which one to change to. I know none of them is going to feel good. So…there have been times, especially more at the beginning of the retreat, where I mean I would just go off on it. It's just like, oh, God, I'm so sick of this. I can't stand it. You know, I just really ought to leave here because at home, I know what's there. Like I could go swimming, you know that would feel better, you know. Anything but this you know. Barre’s doing it to me, but on the... I'm at home on for a long time, and I think as the retreats going on, there's been more, and more times, where that would come up. Break_line: Today it happened. I was doing something that was physically painful a little bit, and I thought, I just can't stand it anymore. I've got to change positions. And I knew at that point, too, you know it wasn't horrendous pain, and there was nothing else to do. And I just thought, well you know, I guess that's the way the body's going these days. Nothing I can do about it. I kind of moved on to the next moment, and there wasn't really any residue of that. Larry: So did it ease when you were able to do that? Questioner: Well, the pain was still there, but I just… Larry: Right Questioner: I just wasn’t fighting it anymore. Larry: Exactly, yeah this is not some…what is being described, is not some kind of Hollywood thing that is… that's real. You had real pain, and you were, in a sense, trapped. No matter which posture you wanted to go to, there was no remedy. Questioner: And it’s also…I mean it was valid. I realized that it's okay. Like I take a moment now, for each change, to think, well, what would be the best thing for me right now? You know, so I do have to make a decision, but once I make the decision, as the retreat has gone on, it's been more, and more easy, for me to just do it. Larry: Right. Okay, let's say that… there is no option, that you find, that each posture is just as bad as the other one. You know I'm trying to make it…it’s not…it’s a bad example, but I'm doing it for a reason. And sometimes we are… that's what happens to us in life. We're in a situation, that there's no remedy for it, and yet the mind will go over, and over, and over, and over again, but there can be…it's not to deny the pain of what you're undergoing. But then on top of that, is the mind's basic wish, that there was a remedy. Break_line: Now, if there really isn't, you know I'm assuming that, if there really isn't, then, being able to see that, then diminishes the suffering. You still have the pain. No one’s…I’m not… that's what I mean, it’s not a Hollywood movie. The pain is there, but now what we're doing, is we're getting comfortable with all of the reactions to it, contraction, wishful thinking, despair, self-pity, and we understand, well, this is the way things are. And so that side of it, can at least dissolve. That part is not on fire. And then you're working objectively with what you have to deal with. Whereas when the mind doesn't come to see things that way, then it's even worse. Does that make any sense? Questioner: Oh yeah, it’s definitely what is going on. Larry: And we're in those situations a lot. You know we find ourselves in situations which we're not about to take ourselves out of, for one reason or another, and yet the mind is doing a lot of stirring, and going around, as if it could do this, it would do that, and maybe it'll do that, and why didn't I do that, but it's not. It's right there, and it's going to be there. Sometimes you're seeing that, oh, all right, I'm in the rush hour, and people are standing on my head, but there’s no… this is it, it's hot, there's no air, but there is no way out. And so, then it's still hot, and there's no air, but then you let go of the sort of, in a sense, the irrational part of it, which just wants things to be perfect all the time, and that that eases it a bit. End_time: 56:54