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Talk: 2013-08_13 Q&A for 8_13_13 Dharma Talk.json Start_time: 00:13:39 Display_question: How do you know when catching the story in your mind is a moment of awareness or a moment of your mind moving? Keyword_search: T, mind, awareness, retreat, arises and passes away, clear mirror, quality of awareness, clear seeing, stable, non-judgmental, aesthetic, joy, consciousness Question_content: Questioner: There were two things you described. One was an incident on the T where your mind had a story about why this woman would give you, her seat. Larry: Right. Questioner: And the other was describing sort of your mind bickering with itself. Larry: The mind what? Questioner: Bickering with itself. Larry: Yes. Questioner: Like that guy’s a schmuck. Oh, you shouldn't…. Larry: Yes. Questioner: And so, my question is, how do you know when catching the story in your mind, is a moment of awareness, or a moment of your mind moving? Larry: What practice is called for? Let's put it this way. Everything you mentioned, it's not that you have to understand, all the content in your mind. Because people come in, and report this as a problem, especially on retreats. They'll say they're watching the mind. Let's say at a certain point you may want to right now, you may not feel up to it. And a thought comes up, and awareness touches, it falls apart and say, it didn't even finish the sentence. It started to say something. And I say, well, what's? So what? I said, Is that a problem? He said yeah. I don't know what it was going to say. I'm saying, don't look for trouble. Do you see what I'm getting at? Break_line: That doesn't mean the content is irrelevant, but for certain purposes of training, it is. So, what we're watching is all of it, no matter what it is profound, trivial, boring, exciting, it all arises, and passes away. It arises and passes away. And there's something that knows it. What more and more, as you practice, the emphasis will be, teachers will bring you back, what's the quality of that awareness? Because what we're looking for is, a mind that's like a clear mirror. That mind doesn't come and go. Break_line:And so more, and more, then, the practice becomes, familiarizing yourself with this awareness, and realize, as one of my teachers put it, be that which knows. In other words, everything is coming and going, don't get sucked into it. That's just sort of scenery. It's all… weather conditions coming up. Be that which knows, which is aware. And so more and more, you're going to be concerned with the quality of that awareness. Is it stable? Is it clear? Is it non-judgmental? Is it not translating, interpreting, et cetera, et cetera. Just seeing, see it as more to me, it's more akin to, an aesthetic motive. Like, you see a beautiful painting or a list of beautiful music, or beautiful anything. Beautiful car, beautiful person. Just the sheer joy of seeing something in, life shape nicely. And the more you do it, it becomes so clear. Break_line: Here's one indicator. When the mind is in conflict, and going on and on, the quality of consciousness can't compare, when the mind is just aware, even if it's for two or three. And little by little, you see, oh, duh. When I'm mindful, it really feels I feel more alive, I feel more at peace. And then suddenly, I start identifying with everything that's coming up. How does that feel? Conflict, disagreement, confusion, all that. The quality of consciousness changes. So, you start to unlearn, what isn't as beneficial, for you. But right now, we've been brought up to think that everything worthwhile, are those thoughts, and plans, and worries, and future, and we're kind of helpless. Oh, we have tactics, but they're not that helpful. This is not a tactic. It's seeing it clearly, and understanding it. And something healing comes from the clear seeing. But you got to see that for yourself. Otherwise, it's just my words. End_time: 00:17:13