Q4-19840428-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-learning_how_to_live_part_i-1505 Leandra Tejedor (1)

Talk: 19840428-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-learning_how_to_live_part_i-1505.json Start_time: 00:52:59 Display_question: I notice I spend a lot of inner energy fantasizing, and hiding out. How do I stop that cycle? Keyword_search: thought, hiding, inner energy, sleep, fantasies, Buddhist tradition, investigation, Buddha, awareness, intellectual understanding, knots, energy, learning, joyful, teacher, student Question_content: Questioner: I found, just watching my thoughts, that I was spending a lot of time hiding out, running away, and realizing that I spend a lot of my inner energy, a lot of the time doing that. And that was clear, just watching my thoughts, and watching myself go into sleep, and going to fantasies, and realizing… that I'm spending a lot of time doing that...so, that's one thing. Larry: Okay, in the Buddhist tradition one of the things, if you go on, and as you find, there's one other thing that we will learn. We're not doing a whole lot of it this weekend, is the quality of investigation. Let's see if we can move with that. So you see that. You see that you're hiding out in fantasies, let's say. Now what? Maybe you've already seen. Do you see why you're doing it, and what the cost is for you, in terms of the quality of your life, et cetera? You don't have to answer, in a public gathering, but do you see what I mean? Questioner: I'm circling the edges of really looking in, and seeing, hey, I'll peek over the wall, and drop it, and fall back. Larry: Okay, That's exactly… so often that's what happens, as if we're tied in knots. Each one of us has different ones, but we're tied in knots. Step number one, is seeing that you're tied in the knot. In other words, seeing your predicament. That's very hard, but that's a very significant one. My God, I'm… hiding. Then we start to work with it. We're not perfect. We start to loosen the knot a little bit, just with awareness, with a bit of even intellectual understanding, get hurt a few times, and then finally untie it, and then can be free of it, and have a certain kind of energy available that wasn't, because we limited ourselves. And in a way, this practice is about untying all those knots. Break_line: The Buddha, at one point took a handkerchief, and held it up in front of the group of people, what was called the community of people, and kept tying the handkerchief into knots. And then he asked them, what have I done? They said, well, you've tied that into many knots. He said, good. And then he started to untie them. He said, now what have I done? They said, you're untying all the knots. He said exactly. In other words, we have put ourselves in this situation, and with a little care, and attention, sometimes swallowing hard, a good cry now and then, a trip into the woods once in a while, it can be unfolded. Break_line: Now, it's not in the spirit of getting somewhere. The process of learning… is itself tremendously fulfilling, and gives tremendous energy. The momentum picks up, as you begin to see how you can learn, how you can be your own teacher, and your own student. You're the teacher, and the student… in any of these things as you start oh, that's right. An energy comes from that. There's a certain, inspired quality, that comes from that. And you have more energy, to do more, to go deeper. And it's natural. It's joyful. Learning is joyful. End_time: 00:56:24