Q9-20000809-Larry_Rosenberg-CIMC-discussion_on_practice-8142 Leandra Tejedor

Talk: 20000809-Larry_Rosenberg-CIMC-discussion_on_practice-8142 Leandra Tejedor.json Start_time: 01:00:16 Display_question: I would like to share about the increasing resistance I have about going to meetings. How do I skillfully meet this resistance? Keyword_search: resistance, meetings, behavior, avoiding, Buddhist conferences, CIMC, wisdom, reflection, observation, parenting, dharma Question_content: Questioner: I have observed in myself, over the last couple of years, increasing resistance, to going to meetings. Now, this is something I've done all of my professional life, and I have all these nice causes; make the world a better place, reduce carbon emissions, all these things that I'm supposed to be doing. But they all seem to require meetings. And I have been seeing my resistance to these meetings just going up, and up, and up. Then I see, of course, the judgment coming in. I'm working for that. But what's happening is that that's translating into behavior. Larry: What's the behavior? Questioner: I'm avoiding these meetings. Larry: I know that one well, yes. Questioner: I'm supposed to be going, and I don’t, and I've actually dropped out of some organizations that I feel are very worthy ones, just because I have such resistance to what goes on in the meeting, my expectations, and I see all of this, and I'm trying not to judge it. Larry: Yes. Questioner: But at the same time, it's translating into behavior, which I'm not sure is very useful. Larry: I understand sometimes the resistance would have wisdom in it, and it's really, you've used that one up, it's over, and it's time to move on from that, whatever it is in this case, what you're talking about. At other times, you can't move on. Let me give you an example. If you think… to make a center like this run Michael, Narayan, and I are the three people who do the teaching here. We have meetings. We have a lot of meetings. To get this building renovated. It nearly killed us. We had to have meetings so often, with the architects, with the builders, with this, with that, going to City Hall, even without that, in order to run a center. I hate meetings. I always have. I mean, it's not new for me. I can't stand them. The thing I'm most allergic to is Buddhist conferences. Nothing more boring than a Buddhist conference. Break_line: Okay, but now let's come back to CIMC. So sometimes it's a blend of reflection, plus observation. And I've looked at some of my resistance, and Michael, Narayan, and I, have talked it over. I don't think they'll mind me sharing it, because it's right to your point. And fortunately, the three of us know that we'd like to use our energies in different ways. And so, we're trying to find, is there a way of having fewer meetings, but not affecting the quality of care, for CIMC? Break_line: And so, we're examining it, and of course, we're starting to find ways that we can have fewer meetings. But then you get to a point where, no, these meetings do have to happen. If you want a place to really work, you've got to be up to date. You've got to know what's going on. You got to know what the yogis are…and so there, sometimes you feel the resistance. We just had one Tuesday, and I felt the resistance. It was sort of our meetings at 10:30. I lived two blocks away, and suddenly I could feel a stronger hold on my neck, sort of like I'd rather do anything than that. And so, my starting point was not to overpower the resistance, and march dutifully to CIMC, on behalf of serving the dharma. But I started what? Thank you. Who said thank you? Oh, okay. Break_line: So, I looked at the resistance, and acknowledged the fact that this is not something, to be honest with you, I don't want to do it. It's like what you were saying, but then you'd say it translates into behavior, and then it got weaker. And I stood there, but then the reflection was… it's a bit like… often you have to do a lot of things in life you don't want. Parenting is something...do the parents love everything they have to do. I'm sure they don't, but they do it because they love their children. Break_line: So, I could say we love the center, and we want the center to be a good place, for all of us to practice. And so sometimes we swallow hard, and we go to the meeting anyway. So, it's sort of no one solution. It may be that certain kinds of those meetings are over for you. You're never going to do them again. And even if you examine them, you realize it's all right, that you could use your energy a lot better for some other. And then some of them you may conclude that not from an egotistical point of view, like how important you are, but you may conclude it's really necessary to go to this one. And that then how to skillfully come from the resistance, to getting to the meeting, without it being brutal. So, you're not brutalizing yourself, marching yourself overpowering yourself, with just sheer will. Break_line: And for me, just as one time anyway, it was a combination of seeing into the resistance, which was quite strong, and then it thinned out. And then reflecting on what it is we had to do, for that hour, and a half, on Tuesday, and knowing full well, that it's important. There's no one else who can do it. We have to do it. And somehow it just fell away. And I went, and actually the meeting was okay. So, there's no pat answer. So sometimes the resistance has wisdom in it, and no matter how… you see that, you do have to do it, even though there's resistance. And at other times it's telling you it's not necessary anymore. But I can't go beyond that. It's too personal. It's for you from here on in. End_time: 01:06:20