Latinx Intercom Presents Ep 1: Paola Chronicles

In this podcast episode, the hosts introduce themselves and their mission to explore the Latino experiences on campus. They interview their first guest, Paola, who is the president of Latinx in Media. Paola shares her background and involvement on campus, including being an advertising student, a digital content fellow, and a photographer. They also discuss the idea of what life would have been like if they had made different choices, such as going to China instead of the United States. Paola's parents' stories of growing up in Mexico are also shared, highlighting their hard work and determination. The episode concludes with Paola explaining how she ended up at Ball State University through her involvement in student media in high school. Bienvenidos a Latinx in Chacom. I'm your co-host, Jose Bravo, and today we're diving into the vibrant tapestry of Latino experiences on campus. From the bustling corridors to the serene study spaces, our universities are home to a rich and diverse community of Latino students, each with a unique story to tell. I'm your co-host, Dani Morales. As we navigate the multicultural landscape of higher education, we'll explore the challenges and triumphs of Latinos on campus. From the first generation college students breaking barriers to the seasoned scholars paving the way, join us as we unravel the threads that weave the Latino narrative into the fabric of academia. In each episode, we'll sit down with students, faculty, and community leaders to discuss the multifaceted aspects of Latino life on campus. From cultural celebrations to academic achievements and the intersectionality of identity, we're here to amplify the voices that often go unheard. So whether you're a fellow student seeking connection, an educator aiming to better understand your students, or simply someone curious about the vibrant mosaic of higher education, you're in the right place. Welcome to Latinx Intercom, where we celebrate, explore, and honor the Latino experience on campus. Hola todos. Today, we're here with our very first guest. Our very good friend, Paola. Hola. It's our first episode, and all three of us are kind of a little nervous, but it's okay. But we finally have our first guest, Paola, who is our president of Latinx in Media. So, you know, you kind of pulled an Epo baby with that one. I mean, it's okay, though. No, I'm kidding. But if you could kind of just introduce yourself a little bit. Obviously, we know you. We've known you for a pretty long time. A couple years, yeah. Yeah, pretty, pretty long time. But for the people listening, kind of just introduce yourself. Tell us who you are, what you do. Yeah, so for those of you who do not know me, my name is Paola Fernandez Jimenez. I go by Pao. And I am an advertising student at Ball State University. I'm a fourth year. And I added a concentration in public relations, and I'm also doing a minor in digital media. And, sorry, I kind of like sniffed, and like. You're so nervous? No, we're good. We're good. We're real like that. We'll keep it up. Yeah. Okay, okay. On campus, I'm, again, I'm involved as the president of Latinx in media. This is the third year I'm the president. And last year. Wow. Which is sad. But I'm also a digital content fellow at Ball State Public Media. And I'm also the marketing director for Alpha. And then I recently got involved in doing photography for the Daily News, and also Ball Bearings. Wow, look at her go. So much over the course of four years. Four years, yeah. You have a pretty good resume, girl. Thank you, thank you. I don't know, I just, I realized that I just like to keep myself busy. But at the same time, it's. And I mean, you also had your internship over the summer with Cummins. And that was a pretty big one too, so yeah. She is active. Paola, I think, is one of the few people I know who does everything and anything. And she has, I think, the most life experience out of literally everyone. She's a traveler. Dani is a very distinguished journalist here with Ball Bearings. Yeah, she's the editor-in-chief at Ball Bearings. In one of her very first published articles, I got to know about Paola. I didn't know her directly yet, but I had read about her having this very crazy backstory for any Latino I had ever read. Wait, that's crazy. That's how you basically knew of me? That's how I knew of you. That's a new lore unlocked. I didn't realize that you were that person until like maybe four months of nausea. Really? Wow. Which is kind of crazy that like, that was my first article. And I had no idea who you were. To all the journalists out there who are probably like, oh my gosh, you interviewed your friend. We were not friends. We were not friends. I remember the first time I went to your dorm. Yeah, that was the very first time you went to my dorm to do an interview. And I wrote that story because I was just like, this is absolutely insane that, I mean, well, tell us about it. Because I feel like people are probably like, what are you talking about? So I'm originally from Queretaro, Mexico. We lived there for a couple of years. She's a native. I lived there for a couple of years before my family and I moved to Juarez. And because of the conditions and how just everything was playing out with violence, my parents really wanted to get out from Juarez, or just Mexico overall. And my dad was offered the opportunity to move to Sweden and work for the custom company that he was currently at. And yeah, we lived in Sweden from when I was six till I was nine. And then we talked about this before where I, my dad asked me, he's like, do you wanna go to China or the United States? And we ended up in Columbus, Indiana, where I've been now for the past 12 years. So you picked Columbus, Indiana over China? Yes, yes. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I know this on Columbus, Indiana was just there two weeks ago. I don't know. I really don't remember what my nine-year-old brain was thinking, but I was like, United States. Because I remember everybody in my school was like, Hannah Montana this. When you move to the United States, Hannah Montana. Give me an autograph for Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana and everything. I don't know. I just, I felt like I wanted to be more in the United States at that age. Yeah, because when you think of the US, it's like, oh, the US. Like, you know, there's that whole like American dream. Yeah, the whole, even the way that they talk about it in like Mexico, they're like, oh, Vas a ir al USA. Yeah. Or it's like, oh, del norte, or like, yeah. Just the way that it's talked about and perceived is seen as something grander than that. Do you ever think about what life would be like if you had chosen to go to China? Yeah, yeah. Do you think you would have had like your Jaden Smith moment from that Karate Kid remake? Probably. Probably. You're still in Taekwondo. Probably, yeah. You're so right. Just follow the black belt in Taekwondo. Do not mess with her. Do not mess with her. That part was serious. Lethal. Yeah, no, I often wonder what my life would have been like if I would have gone to China instead, or again, what would have happened if I would have just stayed in Mexico? Yeah. Which I feel like that's very common for Latino students to have, where it's like, oh, I wonder what my life would have been like if my parents hadn't moved, or if I would have stayed there, you know? So it's like thinking of the what if, but it's like realizing like, oh, like. Yeah. Your parents tell you all these stories about how they had it growing up, and then sometimes like half of them are like, yeah, we had it tough growing up, and then now as an adult, when we're like, I guess maybe we haven't lived their life, we're still always reflecting on like, well, what would have been my life if I had chosen to stay? Like, my dad's from like Los Montes and stuff like that, near like Guatemala, and then he's always like, no pues, yo lo tuve duro, like I had to get up every day, five in the morning to start chopping down wood with your tío Pancho. And then me, I went to go visit, and I'm like, this is the most beautiful place I've ever been to. Right, because this is like, our perceptions of it are very different than the way that our parents see it. I know that when I go, I see it as something that's like, oh my gosh, like it's so beautiful here. But it's because we haven't had those experiences that they went through, so it's like, but I am kind of curious, like how did your family, like specifically your dad, I don't think you've ever told me this, but you said engineering, right? How did that, like tell us your family's story of them in Mexico. My dad is from, he was born in Mexico City, but he grew up in Oaxaca, and so did my mom. My mom's from Oaxaca. So they both kind of grew up in Oaxaca. My mom, her family kind of, they grew up poor. They didn't have a lot of money growing up. Both of my grandparents from my mom's side of family were teachers. And my mom tells me these stories about how she had to cook, and she had to, you know, just kind of like, with her sisters, take care of running the house and everything. And then my dad, my grandpa used to own some pharmacies in Oaxaca, and. No, like Dr. Simi? Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty similar to that. But he had some pharmacies in Oaxaca, and that's kind of like where, I'm pretty sure where they got the money so that my dad and my aunt could go to school and everything. And my dad's always been on top of his stuff, always. Always A game. Yeah, yeah. I met your parents two weeks ago, and they, yeah. Yeah, they both went to El Tec de Monterrey in Queretaro. That's where they met. So what does your mom do? Is she, what does she, like, what's her occupation? So she actually went for engineering, too. But she is a teacher at a high school. What's called a? ESL teacher? No, no, no. New Academy? New Tech. New Tech High School. New Tech High School, okay. Damn, that's, yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty crazy journey. Yeah, with my parents. So how does all of that lead you right here, right now, at Ball State University? Well, of course, well, I went to high school in Columbus, in Columbus North High School. Shout out to my people over there. But I was involved in. You're like, no one's listening. No one's listening, no. But I was involved in student media over there with Sudirman Magazine, The Triangle. And I did a little bit of photography. I did some graphic design. I did some writing and translating. I don't know, I did a little bit of everything. And I just always really liked, again, doing a little bit of everything. And both of my advisors from that Sudirman Magazine were Ball State graduates. And they would always talk about, oh, Ball State has one of the best journalism programs in Indiana. And that's kind of why I shifted more towards Ball State, you could say. And I was originally gonna come for marketing. And I told you that I just, in my 17-year-old brain, in my 17-year-old brain, I was like, I saw that MAP comes out sick. I was like, no, uh-uh, not for me. And that's why I ended up switching to advertising. Yeah, I'm actually pretty happy with my decision. I mean, I definitely enjoyed the School of Journalism a lot and I still am involved in media and all that. So I'm happy with that. I mean, yeah, because a lot of it is really like, I don't think there really is much of a big, well, I probably shouldn't say that because I'll probably annoy some marketing people. But I know that marketing students still have to take some of our classes that we take. But I think that just kind of goes to show how close they are. Because even when you're applying to internships and jobs, you can still apply to marketing internships and jobs because they are so similar to one another. But kind of going into that, with your journey into that, you're a senior now, you graduate in what, two months? Yeah. How does that feel? Nervous, like I'm nervous, but I'm also just really excited to go out there. I know that I don't have any firm plans right now for after graduation. I'm still kind of like, everything is still kind of up in the air, but it's again though, like I'm still figuring it out. But I mean, I'm excited. I'm just, I know that these four years flew by. Like literally, I just, I feel like I was still a sophomore last year. But yeah, I don't know. It's a loaded question. It's a loaded question. It is, because it's like, what? Like, this is it? Like, it's over? And you know, but like, what's your four, well, with your four years, you know, what's one of the biggest lessons that you've learned as a Latina student? How important community is to me. I've talked about it with you guys, that I just, my freshman year, I spiraled so much. Like I just went into so many existential crises because I felt like I wasn't part of a community. I didn't have people who I could really relate to. I didn't have a, you could say friend group, really, that I could go to. I went home a lot. I would go home, I think, maybe every two weeks, because I just felt more at home with my high school friends and just my family overall. And so I was involved in a lot of different clubs and organizations my freshman year, and somehow I just still didn't feel like I fit in anywhere. And the end of my freshman year was when Kevin, our Latinx and media advisor was, he reached out to a couple of us and he wanted to start a NAHJ chapter, National Association of Hispanic Journalists. That was our former name for Latinx and media, as we know it. But yeah, and I don't know, I just, I focused a lot on like, okay, if I can't find anywhere where I can feel welcome, not necessarily welcome, but like just where I can fit in, I'll make my own space, I'll create something like that. And that's just kind of like how Latinx and media started. I was so excited. I remember the first time that I was tabling, which you were just kind of, yeah. I was a freshman and we were just walking around. I was like, there was, first of all, Super Party is so overwhelming if you've never gone. For those of you who don't know what Super Party is, it's like an event where all the clubs and organizations and the journalism department can like, what's it called, recruit? Yeah, you basically like recruit. And that's basically what it's for. But you know, as a freshman, you have all these people just come up to you and you're like, here, take a pamphlet, take a pamphlet. Sign up, sign up. Our next call-out meeting is on Monday. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, this is so overwhelming. But I remember you were out by the agency area, I think so. Yeah. And I remember this so vividly, but you were like, I was walking and I think I was wearing this exact flannel. Really? I'm not even gonna joke. I'm not even like making this up. Like I'm so for real. And I just see this like girl with like, you had blonde hair? I had blonde hair, yeah. And I just see her and she, it's like she has a target on my back. And I'm like, whoa, what does this girl want from me? And she just shows this pamphlet. She's like, are you interested? I was like, oh, and I saw it. And it was like, at the time, it was the National Association of Hispanic Journalists. And I did not see any other organization like that. Besides at the time, Latinx Student Union. But this was more of like a niche because it was something in my department. And I was like, oh, so this is really interesting. So it's like, and it was barely starting up. And I remember the first meeting and like meeting you and then meeting Dahlia. So like, it's just kind of crazy to look back at how that was literally like three years ago. How it all played out. How it all played out, how we all kind of just built every, I mean, we started it from the ground up. It wasn't anything to exist. It existed before COVID. And then it fell out. And then I think we were the ones who kind of revised it a little bit. And you know, so. It's interesting to hear like what your thought process was. Like, cause I remember I was just like, I just want people to join. Like, I just want people to like come in and like we can all work together. And I bet that was really hard for you to like, you being the one, I mean, you took initiative. And that, I think that is probably one of the best qualities you can have. Cause you're not just like, oh, like whatever. I don't want to do this. You are actually like, okay, I'm going to do this. And I'm going to do it right. And just the fact that you took initiative is like pretty crazy. You probably didn't even know what you were doing. You're just like, what the hell? No, I had no idea. I remember I went to the dollar store to buy like a tablecloth, mantel, for everything. And I was like, I think that should be okay. I think that should be fine. And we got, you know how we always get the same bag of piñata candy to give out as pre-tabling? I remember I got that. I was like, this should be good. You don't look like Hispanic candy, you know? So I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew that I wanted to get it started. I wanted to get the ball rolling. Three years later, we're still buying the same piñata candy. We're still buying the same candy. Granted, we now have a different tablecloth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, that probably must have been like incredibly challenging to have to like also go out of your comfort zone to just hand out flyers to everyone. And for those who don't know, I'm not even like a journalism student at all. I'm an accounting major. And here I am working this damn podcast. So obviously, proud it's something very right. Three years later, we're all still standing here. She's got people from different departments learning how to work fancy equipment for the sake of doing something for our club and really getting ourselves out there as well. You have two like media majors in the room or like two like strategic communication majors in the room and you're still the one working the equipment. Proud of Jose. Proud of Jose, like for real. But kind of going into that, what, and I know this is probably like a really daunting question and you're probably like, girl, like, I don't even know. But like, what are your hopes for like the future? Like, where do you see yourself in 10, 15 years, career-wise, personal-wise? You know, where do you see yourself specifically as a Latina, you know? I feel like Latinas are very ambitious. I mean, I've met so many Latinas and you're probably one of the many that are just so great and like, you're just so ambitious and you just, you wanna do it right. When you do it, you don't just do it to do it. You do it to do it right. And I feel like that's just something that is so amazing about you. But where do you see yourself? It's a loaded question, because I definitely, I don't even know where I'm gonna be in the next six months. Like, I'm still, it's all up in the air still. I'm still wondering if I wanna go back to Mexico and stay. I don't know if I wanna do, like, study, not study abroad, but like, study internationally. Like, maybe Sweden or Germany. I don't know. That or take on a full-time job. I don't know. I have no idea, really. But I know that it all comes down to, I just wanna do something that matters. I wanna do something that helps people. That's kind of like always what's, like, my passion for everything that I've done, especially with this club. Like, I just wanna create community. I wanna make a space and I wanna help people. Like, I wanna uplift people. So I would say maybe in, like, the next five, 10 years, I don't know where I'll end up specifically, what country, what I, location-wise, I have no idea. But I just wanna do something that can change. Period. Mm-hmm. Slay. I'm sure whatever you do, you'll be great at it. Thank you. Like, I'll probably be driving down the hallway and I'll see Pau on her billboard. Yeah. Oh, thanks. So, Pau, I know you've, like, talked about how you had to make your own spaces and stuff like that. And I know you talked about how you had trouble existing in other spaces that you maybe didn't feel welcomed in. Have you ever been, I guess, in spaces that have been more hostile? Like, not exactly hostile, but more condescending to be in? Have you ever had to deal with any, like, cultural misunderstandings or have there been any microaggressions you've encountered on this campus? As far as spaces, I just know that it's super important to me to recognize that I know somebody, if that makes sense, in the terms of, like, I remember I'd work in retail and I'd see people that I was involved with in other clubs and they would always turn their face as if they didn't know me, as if we had never met. And that's always been, like, a huge tick for me. And that kind of, like, I don't know how to explain it, but that's kind of, like, what makes me distance myself from those kind of spaces where I don't feel like, I don't know how to explain it. Like, it's like they're friends with you in that moment, but outside of it, goodbye, I don't know who you are. Especially for, like, Latinos, they will remember anyone. One of my dad's old co-workers stopped me in the car. He was like, ¿Eres hijo de Mario? And I'm like, yeah. ¿Y tú quién eres? Soy Cepillo. Trabajo con tu papá. You're like, I don't know who you are. I don't know who are you. And you know what, I do kind of get that because I feel like in, specifically in, like, Mexican culture, we are very much so of you acknowledge everyone that you know. Saluda siempre. Yes, even if, one thing my mom has always told me, even if they don't like you, if they don't, you know. Yeah, it could be people that you completely despise. Y, like, todavía, they're like, vete a saludarte de todos, if they can, so they know you. Because it's like, tú cumples con hacer eso. Because it's like, you're doing it. It's not for them, it's for you. Yeah, and it's like, I feel like that is probably one of the biggest, and I do understand that. I feel like with, not dissing any other organizations, but I do kind of see that a little bit where it's like, they see you and they're like, I don't know who you are, and they just turn around and walk around, and you're like, oh, okay, all right. But it's like, what can you do? Yeah. Yeah. And in terms of, like, microaggressions, fortunately I haven't had, I've never experienced anything close to that. But something I've struggled with a lot is just telling people, people pronouncing my name. That's always been a huge struggle for me. There's just been so many instances in which people are like, are you Payola? And I try to correct them, and it's, it's as if they don't want to try, does that make sense? Yeah, I've heard, over the years, I've heard people be like, oh, are you Payola? Yeah. Paola? Paola? Yeah. People butcher it so much, and it's like, oh my gosh. Which, you know, we're humans, like, you know? Like, I do get that. But I think what you're coming from is the people who just don't even bother trying. Yeah. Or don't bother asking, like, hey, how do you pronounce your name? Or, I don't know, just trying, basically just trying, yeah. Or like, when professors just butcher it constantly. Yeah, mm-hmm. And you, like, correct them, and then they just build up. Yeah, yeah. Any time that, in high school, or even here in college, like, whenever they called my name, and they tried to, like, pronounce it, and be like, oh, I don't want to butcher this. And everyone would turn to face me, when I'd be like, hey, it's me, I'm Paola, you know? Yeah. Well, you always say, I always bring this up, because I remember one time, we were playing this game, and it was like, oh, come up with a rap. And like, we were like, rapping? Like, you were, you had a rap, and you were like, my name is Paola. Pronounce, like, Kung. Kung Pao Chicken, yeah, yeah. Kung Pao Chicken. That's how they try to get people. I had never heard that. Yeah, no, and it's like, I've gotten really creative with how I tell people to pronounce my name. Give us an example. I've told people that it's kind of like how they say hola. Oh. They say Paola. Okay. Either that, or if I want them to just call me Pao, be like, it's like Kung Pao Chicken. And they're like, oh. That thing at Panda Express. Yes. Yeah, but, you know, does it get frustrating having to like, sort of. It was, it was frustrating. Now it's just, I'm used to it. It's kind of like, well, I would rather them pronounce my name correctly, and I show them how to, than just not bother at all. Yeah, like go through constant. Yeah. I feel like names, I kind of know what you mean a little bit, because it's like, when my name is like, a lot of people, they're like, Danielle. Like, Daniel, I've gotten Daniel before. Really? I'm like, what? Like, that makes no sense. But like, I know what you mean. Obviously, it does not happen as much as it does to you. But I, I think it's, there's a lesson in that, where it's like, no, like, this is my name. Call me by my name, and this is, call me by my name. Yeah, yeah. Where it's like, get it, not trying to be rude, but, you know, get it right. You know, this is who I am, and it's very like. Going back a little bit to that, I just remembered, there's been a couple instances where, you guys know I'm a little bit more light-skinned and everything, and there's been a few comments where everyone's like, oh, I didn't know you, I didn't think you'd be Mexican, or you don't look Mexican. And it's just kind of like, okay, I get it. Like, I, but it's, I don't know, I guess it's like the stereotypes of other people that I have to be a little bit more tan or anything to be Mexican, does that make sense? Yeah, which those stereotypes in themselves are very, like, damaging. They're very damaging. They are, I don't think people know the extent of how damaging they can be, because it's like, okay, so like, what is a Mexican person supposed to look like then? And it's like the stereotypes to that are just so not okay. It's also like very demanding for people that are outside of the culture, too, because if you're too dark-skinned, they call you like moreno. If you're too light-skinned, you're like huerita, niña fresa. If you look like not Mexican enough, I know plenty of other Latinos and Hispanics who look Asian, and they call them like chinito, even though like, even though it's really bad and offensive. And like, even then I feel like it takes away from their identity. And it's like, I don't think also people realize just how diverse Mexico is as a whole. I mean, there's this, we're not just one, you know, essence, like I just feel like there's so much, I mean, there's Afro-Latinos, and you know, there's just so much culture in that. And I just feel like people doing that, it takes away from who we actually are and what we are known for, what we love our country for. So Pao, how do you balance maintaining your cultural identity while also adapting to like the college lifestyle? Specifically, because college, I mean, Ball State is very much like a predominantly white institution. Yeah, we live in Muncie, we're the only diverse Latinx, like Latino places to go either, Puerto Vallarta. Yeah, yeah. And they can't- No dish to Puerto Vallarta owners. No dish to Puerto, it's just that the locals here call it portos. Portos. Oh gosh, yeah. It's hard. I know that for me, it's a lot of it, I remember that when I wanted to like keep up with my traditions, it's a lot easier when I do it with people who are familiar with those traditions too, like for example, you guys and our club, LSU and all those. What was the question again? No, it's okay. How do you balance maintaining your cultural identity while also adapting to the predominantly white institutional environment? So for me, I know it comes down a lot to just staying within my values and morals, like what I believe in. Kind of like how we were talking earlier, saying hi always, and giving everyone a smile, even if- You don't know them. Yeah, I don't know them, even if I just don't, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just being friendly with everybody, because I know that's kind of like a Hispanic, or not even a Hispanic gesture, but it's just, guys, let me turn off that, hold on. It's okay. It's okay, I think we're, we just need to flow, we just need to go. It's just the right thing to do, I guess, to say hi to people. To us, that's what we're trained, or not trained, but that's what we're used to. We need someone that we know, even if it's someone that we don't like, it's still, you know? Has there ever, have you ever had an encounter where you're like, someone's almost fetishizing your culture, fetishizing, is that the word? Yeah, your culture, your identity, but they know completely nothing about it, or they're just romanticizing certain aspects of it. I know that, it hasn't happened specifically on campus that I can recall, but while I was studying abroad in Greece over winter break, I had someone, what was it, I don't remember exactly the comment they made, but it was something about Bad Bunny. Like, you like Bad Bunny, right? I was like, uh, yeah, like, he's okay. It's almost like forcing into that square. And I know that a lot of people associate, like, when I tell them about Mexico, they associate it with Cancun, Cancun specifically, where it's like the touristy area. So it's kind of, I don't know how to explain this, but it's a little bit, it's not that it's like a tick or anything, but it's a little bit sad to think that they always, there's always this assumption. That's one thing that they associate it with. Yeah, yeah. And it's just so much more than that. There's so much more than that. And it's kind of like, keeping in mind that not everybody has the same open-mindedness that I might have or that we might have, for example. Do you think that sort of attitude and like mindset limits how you can express yourself here? Yeah, definitely. Especially when they put you in that box. Yeah, I think that. More so because, I don't know, it's, guys, I can't, I can't, I can't lose my train of thought. Reword that now. It's okay, we'll do another question. We'll go back to a little bit more of like you specifically, but like, how do you think, like, I kind of am a little bit curious about like your family dynamic and everything, and you know, how is it that, specifically, we know, Hispanic families, I mean, that's a whole can of worms. Yeah. So it's like, how have they helped you kind of navigate through this experience, like college, or how have they perhaps not helped you? Because it's a big transition, and I know that a lot of Hispanic families, specifically Hispanic mothers, have a really hard time with like, kind of letting their child go to college. Like, kind of, how was that like for you, specifically? I know that my freshman year, it was a little bit rocky with my mom. I love her, I love my dad. They've been so supportive of everything I've ever done, but it was definitely a challenge trying to let them, to let me go, you could say. I remember the summer before I was gonna go off to college, they were both like, what if you stay here? What if you go to college here in Columbus? And I was like, uh-uh. I know for me, I was like, no, I just, I wanna get out of Columbus. Like, I wanna leave, I wanna see more things and everything. And I know that as time has gone by, they are okay now with the idea of me leaving, because I would come back. But my parents have always been very supportive of everything that I've done. But there's also been a little bit of a challenge of like, okay, are you doing what, how do you say? Like, for example, my dad, he wanted me to go into a career where, wait, I don't wanna say this. What if my dad listens to the internet? I, Paola's dad is a very nice man, guys. Just putting that out there. Is it like sort of that issue that a lot of, you know, people of color grow up with, where it's like, you have to do something that makes money? And that's very common. I mean, I'm pretty sure your dad wouldn't give that advice, but I know what you mean, because it's like, I'm pretty sure you've dealt with that. I know for a fact, I mean, I will say this. So my mom, she has been very supportive, both my parents, but I think the one thing my parents would tell me were like, do something that you love. And I think the one thing that she told me was like, I can't force you to do something that you don't wanna do, because then you won't excel at it. You won't like it, and so you won't be successful at it. But anyway, continue. Kind of like with that, that's kind of like where I struggled a little bit, having to pick one thing and stick to it. And I remember that when I picked the major of advertising, my dad was very firm, was like, are you sure that's what you want? Are you sure that's what you want? And I was like, yes, yes. In that moment, I was like, yes, that's what I want. And of course, like a few years now, like I look back and I'm like, oh, maybe I could have picked something different, or I could have done a little, a different route. And there were a couple of times throughout my college career where I was like, what if I switch majors? And I'm like, no, it's too late. Me voy a atrasar, like it's just, and my parents, I don't feel like my dad would be happy with that decision. Yeah. Yeah, there's almost like a certain mindset, almost, that you have to go in with school. Yeah. Because it's like, for me, it was like, my parents always wanted me to do something that like 100% made money, and like has like a high prestige in society too, because obviously, you know, they think that they are, well, I guess they don't think that they're lower, but society treats them as if they were lower, because they have like more of these manual labor tasks, manual labor jobs. So I remember when I was younger, my dad was always like, oh, well, you know, you gotta go to college, like become an engineer, become a lawyer, become a doctor, study something that'll make you money, and then you'll never have to struggle again in your life. It's like the internalizing of that thought that I have to make money, because I know that I had that when I was going into college. I really, I was super into psychology. I took a psychology class in high school. I loved it. You know me, Maddie. I love anything that has to do with like psychology. She's like, what's a personality type? And this girl psychoanalyzes every single person that she meets. Yeah, no, I love psychology. I also really loved graphic design. I took a graphic design. I was like, I love this. But I remember my thought process when I was 17. I was like, this isn't gonna make me money. This isn't gonna be enough for me to sustain myself, my first future family. And I remember, again, I went into college with a mentality of I have to make money. And I actually had an experience last semester where I went through a whole interview application, reapplication, another interview process with a fellowship that I was really leaning towards. And I made it to the finalist day and everything. And I remember that he was there for it. I was super torn up, torn down, torn? Torn. Torn about it. I was just super torn about it, because I was so, again, I was so focused on this is gonna make me the money that I've been looking for, that I've been wanting this whole time. This is what I've been working towards. And because I faced that rejection of I'm not getting that job specifically, I went into a whole existential crisis. You spiraled. I spiraled. I went through a whole existential crisis where I was like, wait, I don't find any fulfillment in making a lot of money. That's not gonna what's gonna make me happy. In the long run. So it's, again, kind of like how you were saying, we get internalized with we need to make money. We need to be successful. Especially when a lot of it depends on communal living. Most times you'll see, well, I guess I don't wanna say most times, but some of our parents and family members grew up in houses where they're still living with their parents. And then I feel like it's almost like a torch that you have to pass down. I took care of you. You're grown up now. Now you have to take care of me. And I know that was one of my biggest challenges too was that what am I gonna come in here with with a career that can help support myself and also help my dad and help my brother, help my mom out at the same time. I mean, when you think, you are the older sister. So it kind of feels not putting this pressure on you. I mean, you've made it thus far, which is great. But your brothers, you have two younger brothers. So you're probably thinking about it in the mindset of that older sister mindset where you're like, okay, well, they're probably looking up to me and they're probably thinking, well, if she did this, then I have to do the same. And it's kind of like you're setting up that standard for them as well, which is not easy at all. Yeah, which growing up, it was actually what I had always internalized that I need to set the example. I would often be told by my parents, you need to set the good example. So that's kind of like where that, you could say originated from. It's always like, oh, you know, like ellos te siguen. They look up to you. And like, I mean, it is, there is some truth to that. I mean, not to bring your brother's business into this, but you had recently told me how he was going through the college application process and everything. And I bet for him, seeing what you do here was probably had a big role in his college admission process and everything that he was doing. So Pao, obviously Latinos are very underrepresented in a lot of like ways in higher education. Do you feel as if you're like, what you have gone through these last four years, what you have achieved, completed, do you feel like there's more weight to that? That's an interesting question. I don't know. I know that for me, as I was growing up, I don't know if you guys remember when Coco came out. I was so happy about it because I was like, whoa, like, you know, our culture is being represented. Our culture, our language, our just people like us are being represented. And I remember growing up, as I see Hispanic people on TV, in media or anything like that, that's kind of like the people that I gravitate towards, like looked up to them. But granted, you also have to think about how some of that representation was not great at all. So it's like, compared to, I guess, the other college students here, do you feel like there's more merit in what you have accomplished? Like, do you feel more proud? Do you feel that there's a greater weight to being Latina and finishing college, considering how underrepresented we are, how underrepresented there are Latino people and Hispanics in media, in higher education? So for me, for example, I feel like I just conquered the whole damn world knowing that I graduate in two and a half months. My dad, so ecstatic. My dad is more excited about me graduating and getting my degree than I am. My dad wants to throw a whole party and everything. So something like that, do you feel like there's more, do you feel like a great sense of accomplishment? I do, yeah, definitely. I know that for me, in everything that I do, I tell everybody, I'm Latina. I'm bilingual, I'm from Mexico, because I take a lot of pride in where I'm from and representing my culture and my country. But definitely a lot of it comes down to, I don't know, sometimes I think about it, isn't it so weird that a Latina from Queretaro specifically, that lived on the other side of the world at some point, is now at Ball State University, graduating. You know, I kind of think, in Muncie, Indiana. There's moments where, I've had professors who are from, I had a professor from South Korea, I've had a professor from Mexico. I'm like, what are you doing here? Why are you in Muncie? And I guess a lot of that is, I just, I don't know. But then you also ask yourself that question. Yeah. You're like, how did I end up here? Yeah, no, so I know that for me, it's a huge sense of, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment just knowing that I'm representing people like me and just that someone like me. The language. The language, yeah. Like, I know earlier you talked about making room for yourself at the table. This is like, you finally sat at the table, you have everything. You've eaten your dinner. Exactly. You're about to eat your dinner. Exactly, yeah. When you walk. Yeah, you know, like, I mean, 48 months of college. I guess, like, I guess. Whoa, when you put it that way, that sounds crazy. Higher education, you know, it doesn't have to be continuous, but it's still like those 48 months that you have your mind, your life, your work dedicated to being in higher education. And now, you're two and a half months, I guess we're at two and a half months out of being done forever. We go into the workforce and it's just a completely different life from there. So. When you put it in the month's perspective, it's crazy. It's a lot, yeah, it's crazy. 42 months, yeah, pretty insane. 48 months? 48 months. Sorry, y'all, I'm not a math major. But kind of, I guess we're ready for the last question, which I don't even know what it is. But I guess I could just, or can I ask? Yeah, go ahead. So like, what would be your number one advice to, you know, I would like to think of what we're doing here and specifically the podcast and the organization that we have, Latinx Media. I like to think of it as like a legacy. Kind of like, you know, think about the people who are up and coming freshmen who are Latinos, Latinas, who might be listening to this, which if you are, yay. Who knows? Yeah, congratulations on your admission. But like, how, like what advice would you give to them? What words of encouragement? Any, yeah, what messages would you like to send? It can be anything, whatever you want. It could be personal, academic. It can be general, yeah. I've had this conversation with so many people, you, Dani, my friends, my mom, and it's a little bit sad to see, like I walk around campus and I see Latinos and I'm like, where are they? Like, where are you not? Where have you been these past few years? Yeah, where have you been? Like, why have I never come across, why aren't you involved in, you know, these organizations or clubs? Like, why aren't you putting yourself out there? And I remember I had this conversation with my mom and I look back at some of my high school friends and I know that for a lot of Latinos, they let, not Latinos, but just like people who migrate, especially to the United States, they live in constant fear of, you know, being seen and not even being seen, it's just a lot of it has to do with like the perceived or the whole like deportation thing. I remember I'd had high school friends who'd be like, I don't wanna go out because I'm scared that if I get caught, my mom, it'll go back to my mom. It'll go back. I mean, that's not even true. Yeah, yeah. That's not even like. It's to fill that fear, you know? It's that like fear mongering that it's like there in your head. And I know that like, of course, my experience is completely different, but just words of encouragement, basically, it's don't let fear dictate your life. That's always been my thing. Right. I don't know. It's just, what's the point in doing it? Con miedo no se hace nada. Con miedo no se hace nada. Like it's, you have to put yourself out there. Otherwise, how will you know if something's for you or not? How will you, you know? Experience. Experience, yeah, experience. Yeah, like I guess once you're done with high school, the next, like, I mean, if you choose to go to higher education, the next 48 months or so, like an uphill climb. And I guess it's different to like, when you're in high school, because like even of a person's like documentation status, I guess you're still sort of required to be in school. You know what I mean? Like there's still that expectation, but like once you complete that hurdle, it's like, what now? You know what I mean? You can't, like you, I was like that kid in high school. I was scared all the time. I was like, I was very anxious. And then I realized quickly, not like, I don't want to say like by choice, sort of a reality check, but sort of like, I can't sit around here in fear when there are people who are like out there doing everything. Exactly. No, and that's basically my piece of advice to anybody listening. Just don't let fear dictate your life and also put yourself out there. Like be proud of yourself. You are here on your own, exactly. Like no one, you've made it this far. Why wouldn't you want to keep going? Why wouldn't you want to put yourself out there? Make your voice be known or just be seen. Be seen more than anything. Okay. Well, thank you so much for being here with us, Paula. Thank you guys. Our first guest. Our first guest. Our first session. I wish we had some champagne, like a bottle of champagne. Just like you'd be like, pop. No, but thank you guys. I appreciate this so much. Okay, well, goodbye.