Express Yourself -Katherine Norton

The speaker talks about their experience as a freshman in college and how nervous they were on the first day. They found comfort in bringing pieces of home with them, such as books. They initially wanted to major in biology but realized it wasn't what they wanted. They discovered their passion for writing and creativity and are now pursuing a career in journalism. They feel more sure of their direction in life and have set achievable goals. They reflect on the journey and express gratitude for the experiences that led them to this point. Being a freshman in college can be really intimidating and kind of scary. I know for me, I was definitely very nervous for my first day and my first classes and everything about it. So, I hope that some of this can resonate with you and make you feel a little bit better about maybe some of your either embarrassing moments or just ways that you go about living as a freshman in college. The first day for me was very nerve wracking. I just remember waking up two hours before I even needed to be worried about waking up at all. I was just very nervous and I was over preparing and making sure I had everything I needed. I don't know why the first day of school always gets to me. Even in high school I was like this where I'm just so nervous that I'm not going to have what I need and I'm not going to be prepared or something. So, in college it was definitely times 100 because it's just such a new experience and I was very, very nervous to say the least. Something that really helped me through the first couple of weeks was the little pieces of home that I brought with me. For me, I've always been a big reader. I love to read. I love to write. I love all of that. I just know that when I have books with me that mean something to me, reading them calms me down and it kind of reminds me of who I am. It centers me. So, that was really big to have because even just reading a couple of pages is enough to just calm me down and make me remember who I am, remember where I'm going in life and that was really helpful for me. Having these pieces of home with me, it was really great because it helped me to center myself, like I said, and to remember who I am. But it also kind of caused me to overthink my life a little bit and overanalyze what I want to do and everything. When I first was coming into college and getting ready for it and everything, I was thinking that I wanted to major in biology because I wanted to work with animals and the environment and that's what my passion is. I just love animals so much and I love the environment. I felt like having that passion was enough to make a career out of doing wildlife conservation or something like that where I could be hands-on trying to solve issues and help animals and the environment. So, that's what I went in thinking I was trying to do. But as time went on, I kind of realized the actual career in biology is not what I wanted at all. I guess the idea in my head was just different than what it really was or something, but I just did not enjoy it at all and I actually ended up dropping that class. This was kind of hard for me because I tell myself, oh, it's okay, I'm just doing this a step at a time and everything, but it really is kind of sad because that was a dream I had and realizing that it's not realistic, it's not what I thought it was, it was kind of sad for me. But I also have a lot of things that I'm interested in and a lot of different career paths I could see myself going down and right now I'm really happy with where I'm at right now because, and again, with the whole biology thing, I liked it, but I think in some ways I was kind of trying to avoid what I actually wanted to do, which is write, and this is, you know, it's not a concrete career, you know, and it's harder to navigate and I think I was a little bit intimidated by the whole world of writing and creating, you know, these works and it's what I want and it's what I love, but I was just kind of scared, I think, and I'm kind of thankful that the biology thing didn't work out because it allowed me to confront the fact that what I really want to do is write and create things. I would definitely define myself as a creative person. My entire life I've been a drawer, a painter, you know, I've been creating things my entire life and it's a part of me that is just so fundamental to everything about me, about the way I see the world, about the way I interact with people, everything about me is based around this creativeness inside of me and I've never been very good at showing it to other people and about expressing it. It's always been something that is just mine and it's very sacred to me, but as I'm branching out in life and going to college and moving out and meeting new people, slowly I can feel myself kind of unraveling a little bit and it's definitely scary, but it's good and it feels good to get feedback and to meet new people and talk about these things and not just be kind of in a vacuum by myself anymore. So I think that throughout the semester that's been really what's changed about me the most is I'm not really the same creative person I used to be and, you know, the more that I grow, the more that I want to grow and the more that I'm branching out, the more I want to branch out and it's kind of like snowballing at this point, in a good way though. It's been really interesting to see where I can take things and where I can go that I never thought it was even possible before because I just never even tried it. And so I think throughout the semester I've really started to understand myself more as a creative person, which is really cool because, again, it's always been a part of me. It's always been so fundamental to everything about me, but no one really knows that side of me. No one really sees it. I don't really let people in to that part of me. And it's really refreshing to just be able to not hide it all the time. All that being said, I'm now kind of moving towards being a journalist and writing and going forward in that sort of career. I feel so much more sure of this than I ever did with biology. I feel like when I'm meeting these people who are in these careers and we're talking about things, it just feels so right and I'm really thankful that I'm kind of getting closer to this point of clarity in my direction in life and it's really cool to just know that I'm building this for myself and the things that are going to happen in the future, I feel more optimistic about it. I feel like I can actually kind of see where I can go and I have goals that aren't arbitrary. I have actual goals that I'm working towards and it feels so reachable and yet not easy but it's reachable and that's really important is that these goals I'm making for myself are very possible and I'm having a lot more clarity in my life than I was before. Like maybe at the start of the semester, I was a lot more lost and kind of just crossing things off that I know I don't want to do and now I feel like I'm just trying to choose between all these things I love doing and so it's really cool that I'm getting closer to this point and I feel optimistic but I'm also a realist so I'm not in fairytale land but I feel good about it. I feel like this path I'm on is a good one and I'm really grateful that the experiences I've had have led me to this point in my life.