episode 2

This podcast episode explores how childhood adoption shapes individuals into the adults they become. The host, Kaylin Smith, interviews her middle sister who is a fourth-grade teacher. The sister discusses how her adoption has influenced her teaching style, particularly in terms of her views on students and her patience with them. She emphasizes the importance of the parent-child connection in the classroom and how it affects student behavior. The sister also highlights the qualities of empathy, patience, and discipline that she has developed as a result of her adoption. Overall, the episode emphasizes the positive impact adoption can have on individuals and their ability to understand and support others. Welcome to Life of Adoption. I'm Kaylin Smith. This is a podcast all about childhood adoption and how it shapes individuals into the adults they become. It is for anyone curious about adoption or people who want to broaden their perspective on the people around them. Anyone with an open mind can listen to this podcast. Each episode we deliver real examples and stories of adopted individuals. We will learn about how adoption shapes motherhood and just life in general. So let's get started. Welcome back to episode 2 of Life of Adoption. In the last episode we talked about my older sister and how she uses her childhood adoption to shape the way she is as a mother. In today's episode I'm going to recap the interview that I have with my middle sister who is now a fourth grade elementary school teacher and how she relates her childhood adoption to her teaching style. Two of the main questions that I asked her were how has her life as an adopted child shaped the way that she views her students and if this has any correlation to the amount of patience that she has for them. She made it known to me that she never consciously noticed a way that she treated her students and what I mean by this is she never looked at them a certain way and automatically correlated her adoption story to it. But when she was reflecting on the way that she looks at them and the way that she feels when she's around them she did notice a few correlations between her and her unique childhood as an adopted individual. She told me that when she meets with her students parents or has conferences that she feels a very strong connection between the parent and the child which is a positive impact and it has a positive impact on how the child acts in the classroom and she feels as though she sees this connection because of the way that she connected with our mom and the way that she was raised and she really sees the beauty in the ways that children and their parents interact and how this really does shape the way they act in the classroom. She says that most of the kids that have really good relationships with their parents they're very helpful in the classroom and they have a lot of respect for her in which they help her out or they listen they don't talk in class and they like to be more leaders in the classroom whereas the ones who aren't as close with their parents are the ones who tend to act out a little more and not really turn in their assignments on time and of course this isn't really the child's fault and my sister never holds it against them but she also does feel a lot of sympathy for them because she can relate to the feeling of not knowing or not being close to where you came from but she can also relate to the kids who are extremely close to their parents because she had an amazing childhood in which she states and she has a very close relationship with our mom and our father and she can relate to both sides of the spectrum. One of the main qualities that she said was brought to her because of her childhood adoption was empathy. As a teacher having empathy is probably one of the most important factors of being an effective teacher and making your students like you and have fun at school and she feels a lot of empathy toward those students who don't have a great relationship with their parents because she didn't know her birth parents and although she has amazing adoptive parents she still can empathize with how that affects you as a child and how it makes you act a certain way and not necessarily act in positive ways. When I was talking to her about this I decided to do my own research on Twitter and find accounts that deal with adoption and I found this amazing tweet by Dr. Sib and she said that self-esteem is also connected to healthy attachment with one's birth mother many people especially those separated from mothers at birth battle imposter syndrome and linked to the disconnect knowing the cause not just the symptoms helped. When I read this it really resonated with what my sister was telling me about her stories as a teacher and how a lot of the students who don't have a close relationship with their birth mother and birth father even though they are being raised by them how this impacts their lives as students and how it shows in their schoolwork and their behavior and the way that this tweet really resonated with this whole topic was because I can only imagine how not even knowing your birth mother and birth father can cause self-esteem issues and imposter syndrome and it relates because not having a relationship with your parents when you're around them is similar to adopted children who don't have a relationship with their birth parents because they've been adopted. Now going back to the interview that I had with her I asked her another quality that she feels was brought to her because of her childhood adoption and she said patience. She thinks that she has a very increased amount of patience for her students because when she was younger and going through her trials and tribulations of being adopted and feeling certain things of unwanted or just not knowing who she was our parents were very patient with her and I think that she adopted this level of patience for her students and has a lot of patience for them when they're acting out or having a really bad day and they can't do their work. She also wanted to state that although most of the students who act out are the ones who aren't very close with their parents or have rocky relationships that the ones who are close to their parents are not perfect in any way. She just wanted to make that clear differentiation because that's what she noticed and when she was reflecting on her adoption that's what she noticed as a big thing is that she had a lot of patience for those students who act out but also the ones who don't act out as much and have really good relationships with their parents because at the end of the day they're children and they can't really control what happens to them in their life at this point and their emotions are just reactions to things that go on at home so she feels as though she has patience for every child in the classroom not just the ones who act out because they're not very close with their parents. She gives patience to all the kids in the classroom because that is what she was given as a child and she thinks that her being adopted as a child made our parents be very patient with her which she is extremely appreciative of and she wants to sort of create that cycle with her students and not be somebody who gets upset with them very easily. She wants to be someone that they feel comfortable with and can express their feelings to and she thinks that by being patient this is how she receives that feedback from them. In concluding my interview with her the last quality that she said she possesses because of her adoption is the ability to discipline. Although she has a lot of empathy a lot of patience for her students especially those who don't have the best life or the best connection with their parents she really finds the importance of discipline in being a teacher and she relates this to her childhood adoption. She told me that because she was adopted as a child she didn't feel as though discipline was extremely tough in our household or our parents didn't necessarily rely on discipline when necessary and she thinks that because of this she adapted a sort of spoiled mentality and where discipline was never really in the picture and I think that she believes that all all kids must be disciplined when they are in the wrong or when they do something and mess up. She wants to give these children a sort of balance of what she was given during childhood and also add the aspects that she wasn't really given and discipline is something that she did not necessarily experience as a child because a lot of people had too much sympathy and when I say too much I don't mean that she didn't deserve it and she also agrees with me in this but there was a little bit of imbalance between sympathy and discipline when necessary and she really holds that true to her heart and when she was reflecting on her childhood and her life as a teacher that was something that she really did see as an impactful scenario because now she has the ability to really discipline and still feel very very strong connections with her students but she also finds the joy in disciplining them when they are wrong because she wants them to be the best versions of themselves and to fix their mistakes. So with all that being said I hope you guys enjoyed this episode of Life of Adoption because I know I have. The three things that I want you listeners to take away from this episode are the three qualities that my sister possesses as a teacher. The three qualities that she feels as though she possesses because of her adoption as a child are empathy, patience, and discipline and the ways that she performs these in the classroom are extremely amazing and beneficial to her as a teacher. Thank you so much for joining us this week on Life of Adoption. I'm Kaylin Smith and make sure to visit our website where every show will be posted each week so you'll never miss an episode. You can also follow us on our other social media platforms to stay fully updated with Life of Adoption. If you enjoyed the show please give us a rating or tell your friends to tune in. See you next time!