Don’t Tell Me How to F___ing Grieve!

Kenya is introducing her first podcast episode titled "Do Not Tell Me How to F'ing Grieve". She talks about the importance of grieving and the different ways people experience it. She shares her personal experience of losing her brother and how it changed her perspective on grief. Kenya emphasizes that everyone's grief is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. She also discusses the importance of allowing oneself to feel and express emotions. Kenya acknowledges that she initially didn't fully understand the impact of losing a loved one until it happened to her. She felt guilty about the generic condolences she had given in the past and realized that words alone were not enough to convey the depth of her own grief. Kenya shares that she acted out and behaved differently during her grieving process, but she believes it was necessary for her healing and growth. Hey everybody, this is your girl Kenya and you're now listening to Kenya Setted, the show with real life topics and real good vibes. But hey, while you're at it, don't forget to subscribe. Hey y'all, so good morning and welcome to Kenya Setted. This is my first official podcast and this one is very, very near and dear to me. It's very special to me and I'm not going to lie, I was very, very nervous about initially doing this podcast. It's my first podcast because normally you kind of want to do the introduction, kind of let everybody know what to look forward to from me, from Kenya Setted and just what the all around avenue is going to be around the show. But I just felt in my heart that it was very, very important and also necessary for me to actually start this podcast with this first episode, which is actually titled, Do Not Tell Me How to F'ing Grieve. Now, if you are a cursor, then feel free to fill in that, you know, that blank, but I'm pretty sure we know what that stands for. Now, I was going to throw away with the title just because it is kind of raw and out there, but just because I am always just so real, I try to be as real as I can be. And that title came to me at the time when I lost my brother and there was just so much going on. So many emotions, so many things just transpired in that time. And that is really how I felt. Don't tell me how to grieve. OK, like, but anywho, we're going to talk about grieving today. We're going to talk about the outlet to start is to deal with grieving and even just kind of going over some of the natural feelings and emotions, because I feel like that we don't really know what to expect because that's really the unexpected that happens to us. When we actually take a loss or whether that's a loss of a relationship, a loss of a loved one, I think any loss is very, very hard to deal with. And we grieve in different ways. And I didn't realize how different we grieved until I actually went through the process of losing someone very near and dear to me. So first, let me just say, hi, guys. Thank you guys so much for listening to me, to my people who are actually listening via audio. Thank you guys for coming in. And also to my viewers of viewing the actual video. Thank you for watching. I really do appreciate you guys. I just want to send a special thanks to you for just supporting me and my journey. So I did take down a couple of notes, only just because as much as I am a chatty Cathy and I could probably rumble and go on and on and on and on, I wanted to just kind of get some vital points across as far as when it comes to like the grieving process and just kind of so you can get a better understanding as to what the show is going to really entail today. So first, I'd like to start off with a quote. And my quote for today's podcast is, a journey through grief is an individual process. And that's really, if you kind of think about it, it kind of goes with the don't tell me how to fucking grieve because it is your own personal journey. And I think that we don't understand, and I think we will never actually fully understand the scale of what the other person, the next person goes through when it comes to like grief. When it comes to a loss, we will never be able to, we can try to empathize, sympathize, but personally, we will never be able to feel exactly how that next person is feeling. That is truly a journey that is set apart for that specific individual. And so I'm just going to read this one I have for you today. And it goes by saying, grief is a natural and necessary process that follows the loss of someone or something important to us, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, or other major life changes. It encompasses, I'm sorry, a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, disbelief, guilt, and confusion. It is extraordinarily complex, which can manifest physically, mentally, and emotionally. Many factors can contribute to the intensity and the duration of the grief experience, such as the nature of suddenness. Of that loss, everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is important to allow oneself to feel and express emotions. Now, I wrote that because I feel like that specifically what I talk about, all grief is to be taken serious. And there is no, again, way of telling a certain somebody how to feel when they lose a relationship that they maybe saw themselves in 50, 100, a lifetime, you know, from that moment. Or even as far as, let's just say, loss of a friend. Them friendship breakups hit so different. I'm not going to lie. It's like it lost a soulmate. And so, trust me, you can definitely grieve from a loss of a friendship, or a loss of a friend, as far as, you know, the disconnect, the friendship, the relationship. You know, loss of a job, that's also very important. I feel like that maybe he's talking about my funds, he's talking about my coins, my way of living. And if you are a parent, honey, he's talking about how I take care of my youngins. So, of course, you grieve over losing, you know what I'm saying, your jobs. But today, we are kind of focusing on the loss of a loved one, someone who is no longer here with us. I want to say, first of all, I'm sending my condolences out to anybody who is listening to this podcast or watching this video who has experienced a loss of a loved one. I can really say that when I lost my brother, Kyle, whom we have here at the back, if you are tuning in via audio, unfortunately, you will not see Kyle's beautiful face or smile. However, you can always go to my YouTube, Keenesthetic, to check out the video and kind of get a picture of Kyle's wonderful face. But as I was saying, you don't really understand what somebody is going through until you actually lose somebody. And you don't even really fully understand or feel what a person goes through when they grieve a loss of a loved one. I can honestly say I've been to a lot of funerals before the point of me losing my brother. And it really wasn't the same. And there were people who I loved or cared about. But it just wasn't a loss so close to me or so near and dear to me. So I felt sad. And I got, you know, I was upset. But it didn't last. It wasn't like a prolonging pain. It wasn't a thorn in my side. I was kind of able to kind of go on and move on throughout my day, throughout my week, throughout my life. You know, and of course, you always try to sympathize with someone, you know, understand, you know, sorry for your loss. You know, I'm here for you if you need me. And at that time, I felt like those were appropriate words to say to people who lost someone, not even really understanding myself that they are so vague. And just very kind of almost systematic in a way, I guess you would say. Because, you know, it's kind of like that's what you would expect to say to somebody who lost somebody. You know, sorry for your loss. I'm here for you if you need me. You know, and things like that. So that just seemed kind of right to say. But it wasn't until I lost my brother where I understood how emotionless and how vague those words were. You know, when you lose somebody that you care about, you want to feel that the person who is talking to you has the same level of hurt that you have. And when they don't, or when it's just kind of almost like a commercial, you know, oh, I'm not saying that they don't feel sorry. And they want to be there for you. Like, absolutely. However, I feel like that when you are in such of a hurting place, you want the words to come across in such an intense way that you know that they feel exactly how you feel. Because they can't. They won't, first of all, because they can't. Because they are not, they don't read like you do. That's for one. And for two, maybe that person isn't as a more vital person or part of their life. You know, maybe that person isn't as vital in their lives as they are in yours. So, but it wasn't until I lost my brother that I was like, oh, my gosh. I felt bad about the people who have lost people close to them because I felt like I just gave such an ordinary response, you know. So, I just felt really, really guilty about that. That's first off. And because I knew that I knew that I knew that if they had ever felt even a small amount, even a morsel, I mean, even a little minuscule way how I felt when I lost my brother, that wasn't enough. You know what I'm saying? Like, me offering my condolences, that wasn't enough. Because, man, I hurt so bad when I lost Kyle, like when the family itself hurt so bad. But I can only speak on myself personally. I hurt so bad when we lost him that everything people said to me triggered me in anger. It angered me because I felt like their words to me were just words. They were so lax. And that was unfair of me, of course, to feel like that toward them, you know, because they were just showing that they cared about me. They were actually showing that they were there for me, you know, in my time of need. But my pain was so, my heart, my head, my mind, my spirit was so consumed with the hurt that I was feeling, the emptiness that I was feeling, that I was so quick to be angry at people for feeling sorry that I had lost my brother because I felt like they were just saying something. And they should be more mad. And they should be more upset. And they should be more fired up. And they should be more sad and depressed about it and hurt about it. And, you know, it really put me in a dark, dark space. The title Don't Tell Me How to End Grief was actually, I came up with that in just the midst of just my agony. Only just because I felt that nobody understood me. I acted a complete fool, a whole nutcase, honestly, when I lost my brother. I did things that I never thought I'd do. I just was really a loose cannon. And as crazy as it sounds, I needed that. I needed that to happen in my life because that was my freedom. That was my escape to somewhat deal with the emotions that were foreign to me. I had not experienced loss up until that moment. And so, because of that, I acted out in a way that was not like Kenya. But it was needed because it was able to help, you know, kind of subdue the pain, you know, to subside the pain. I'm sorry. It was kind of like we being able to not feel as much hurt, you know what I'm saying? And so, you know, I just look back and I'm just like, whoa, like I was really reckless. I was, I didn't care about life at that time. I didn't care about living. In certain moments, I didn't care about other people. And the crazy thing about it is I'm not going to sit here and say that I was insane my whole life. Most of my life, I was probably a rebel. And I grew up on a south side of Chicago, honey. And let me just tell you that it's eat or be eaten. That's just what it is. Okay. So, I have a very thick exterior. And so, I'm not going to sit here and say that I was just always this very sweet, you know, loving and kind. I would tackle those characteristics. But, baby, you make me mad on the wrong day, honey. You might get these hands. You know, but for the most part, I've always been a loving, caring, and nurturing person. It's always been a part of my moral character. You know, I can honestly say that. But I can say that at that moment after I've lost him, when we had lost him, I really became angry toward people and hateful toward people. And I didn't like people. And I wasn't compassionate toward people as I had shown or grateful toward people as I had been in the past. I just didn't like. I didn't like people. And I didn't like nothing about them. And that's just honest. I didn't care anything about them. I was really at a point where if people are that hateful and cruel to take an innocent life, you know, my brother was 19 years old. He was my mom's only son. My mom had four children. I'm the oldest. And then I have my sister Kamari, my middle sister, I mean, my younger sister Kayla, and then my baby brother, Kyle. And so at that point, you know, when you are older, you automatically feel like you are your brother and sister's keeper. You have to protect them. You're there for them. They get into some trouble. They come to get you before they get mom or your dad. You know, you have like a role as an older sibling that you don't quite sign up for. However, you automatically qualify for it once your mom and dad start making other kids after you. So, you know, I can honestly say that for me to look back and be like, wow, you know, that's my mom's only son. That's my baby brother. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't have another one. And to know that someone can take his life so young, you know, at the age of 19. And all because of the color of his skin, you know, really. I don't want to dwell or get too deep into, you know, the logistics behind everything. But, you know, he was black. You know what I'm saying? He was young and he had his whole life ahead of him. And instead of being here with us today to show off that beautiful smile of his, unfortunately, he was taken. He was literally robbed from us entirely too early. And the thing about it is all I can say is it's because of the color of his skin. And that's just sad. That's even more disheartening than anything, you know. And so that's kind of where I go into just depending on how someone loses someone. Not saying that if you lost somebody to a freak accident or maybe, you know, natural causes that you still won't feel as much hurt as I did or even more hurt as I did. You know, you just never know when it comes to losing someone that you love so much. But I can honestly say there was a shift after I lost him. So I want to let you guys know out there, any listeners who have lost anybody, you know, that whatever you're going through, even if it doesn't seem like it. Because when I was going through my grieving phase, I was doing a lot of things that weren't Kenya-like. And a lot of people judged me for it. A lot of people, I mean, trashed talked me for it. A lot of people abandoned me for it. A lot of people were in shock that I was acting and saying and doing some things that I was doing. Not even understanding that it was truly coming from a place of pain and me coping with the pain that I was experiencing after losing my brother. But I want to make this very clear to the people who have, who are around people who've lost somebody or who actually have gone through the experience of losing someone. If you are around somebody, if they are not trying to kill themselves or kill other people or other people, let people release how they see fit. I mean, you really don't understand what it is like to go through something like that. Even if, let's just say you have two siblings and they lose a sibling, you know, those two siblings are going to still respond completely different from each other. They are not going to have the same emotions, the same feelings, the same thoughts, the same actions. Again, two totally different people but have the same sibling in common that they lost. So if you are around someone who has lost somebody, just be patient. Again, don't be overbearing but at the same time be there, you know what I'm saying? Be courteous that they are experiencing something that you will never feel. Because again, even if you lose, if they lost a dad and you lose a dad, again, you're going to experience two totally different ways of grieving, two totally different bodies of emotions. So be courteous in understanding that they are going through a process, a process that you won't feel and that you won't go through because it's their way to grieve. You know what I'm saying? Let them grieve how they see fit. And then if you are somebody who is actually grieving, whether it is past grief or whether it is current, because I have, well, it's not necessarily the same, but I'm pretty sure we all have heard of the saying, time heals all wounds. And I realized at the moment that we lost Kyle that that was a complete, that was a lie. That was a lie. I think if anything, time hurt wounds, especially when it comes to that situation in particular, only because every day you wake up, it's kind of like a realization that this person is not going to be here anymore. This person is gone. This person, you know, on Christmas, they're not there for Christmas anymore. Birthdays, you know, we can't celebrate their birthdays with them. I think every day that goes on, it gets harder, at least for me, I can say to grieve, you know what I'm saying? Or to get my emotions together because, or get a hold of pain because it's a constant slap in my face that, you know, here I am going on, moving on, living my life, getting older, you know, doing things. And yet something is missing. You know what I'm saying? Every day, it's a constant reminder that they are really not coming back. So for me, I don't believe that time heals wounds like that because it grows every day. The hurt grows every day that you wake up and you can't call them. It grows every day that you can't see them, you can't touch them. And so for me, I can honestly say, you know, it's really an everyday thing, a step-by-step process that you just have to get through, work through, and fight through. For sure, it's a struggle. So for people who have lost somebody, whether it is present or whether it is in the past, you know, understand that whatever pain you're going through and whatever acts that you take, if it's easing, if it is easing your pain, you know what I'm saying? Like if it is allowing you to keep going on, then do you, boo. Like know that eventually it's going to turn around and you'll be back at the place that you need to be, that you want to be. But I don't want you to judge yourself. I don't want you to be too hard on yourself because you're already going through a loss. I don't want you to be at a place where you not only feel bad about losing somebody, but then you feel bad because you're not handling it the way other people are handling it. You know, beating yourself up because you may be taking a little longer than the person to the left or to the right of you who lost that same person. Or you might be acting out or getting into trouble or doing things that you feel maybe you wish you had better control over, you know what I'm saying? But it's okay. I really feel like that grief is, again, it is a lonely journey. And what I mean by that is it is because it is a journey that only you can get through. Only you, you know what I'm saying, will be able to balance your emotions. Only you will be able to push through the heartache, the pain, the lonely nights, the questions, the, I mean, just the faith, you know what I'm saying? I'm a spiritual person, which I am, you know, me and God, we, baby, we had it out. I mean, we had it out because I just could not believe. I just couldn't believe that he would have allowed that to happen. You know, I just couldn't believe it. And baby, we wrestled it out, baby. I can honestly say that. And so, you know, I don't want you to think that if you are a person of faith and, you know, you believe in God that because they lost the same person, some person lost the same person as you, you know, that they still hold on to God's, you know, never changing hand. But you walked away, you know, and you feel bad because you've walked away, you know, or you feel let down by God. Again, grief is so personal. It's such a one-on-one encounter. It's such a you versus you thing that the only thing you need to just worry about is healing and making sure that even if you're not where you are as far as feeling better about it, that you're working toward it. Because, again, I felt so bad at the things that I had done and the actions, I mean, whoo, baby, I partied. I partied that pain away. I literally, oh, my gosh, I just did so many things. I was like, Lord, thank you for keeping a good faith because I was a mess. I was a mess. Anybody who knew me at that time or shortly after that time, honey, I was a mess. If you met me back when I was in Chicago in 2021, let me just say this on record. Honey, I'm not kidding you. Like, oh, my God, I've come such a long way, and I have such an even longer way to go, but I know that I was in a hurting place. And anybody who knew me prior to losing my brother and saw me in that space and in that era knew that I was in a hurting place. I hurt people. You know what I'm saying? Like, and I just didn't have it. I didn't care. I didn't care. Talk about that I don't care feeling. Like, that was the whole way my life was set up around the time I had lost my brother. And so I'm grateful to say that, again, I'm not where I want to be in healing. I still cry. It's not every day. Just because I miss him, and it's just kind of like a, man, he's not coming back. Like, I don't, I'm never going to see him again. Like, I'm not, like, as far as in this moment, you know what I'm saying, in this time, you know, and I just think all the things that we could have did, should have did, that I tell him I love him enough, that I give him enough hugs. You know, it's just a lot of things that kind of ramble my mind, and then I have to kind of just kind of decompress and tell myself, you know, sometimes I have to tell myself to forget. You know, as beautiful as memories are, memories can be a trigger. And so a lot of times I'll find myself thinking about things, and then I really have to, like, get out of it. I have to shake myself up real quick and kind of think of something else, but put something else in the place of that, because if not, I'll go off and go off and go off, and then, you know, I'll be into the deep end. So, you know, I just try to make sure that I, of course, I'll never forget him, but I never try to stay focused on the act itself, you know, on the fact that my brother is no longer here. I try to, in a way, sometimes feel guilty, forget about him, because sometimes it's how I can cope. You know, memories sometimes bring a friend called pain with it. You know, when you think of memories, you think of good things, like, oh, you remember this, you remember this, you remember this, but nobody ever talks about memories. And sometimes how it is attached to pain, and memories can come back and feel so real and so present and so now. And the next thing you know, you're like a hot freaking mess. You're all over the place, trying to gather yourself together, because it does feel like it's happening right now, you know. So I have to shake up sometimes and just kind of like forget, you know, forget that I lost him, you know, that we lost him, that he's no longer with us. I have to try to not remember that part. Sometimes in order to function. And then I feel guilty, because, like, you know, that's my brother, how can I try not to remember him? But, you know, not necessarily remembering him, but just remembering that he's not here. I try to forget that he's not here with us anymore. But, yeah, grief is definitely a crazy, a crazy and mysterious emotion. And I can really say that grieving is really something that you'll never know until you go through it. And even when you go through it, you're still left picking up the pieces and still never really knowing, you know. You know, and I know that all things happen for the good, you know, of us. So even with that, I go to say, like, for instance, I have put in my notes here. Grief can also have positive aspects, such as helping us to appreciate life more, to develop resilience, and to deepen our understanding for ourselves and others. It may not happen right away, but once the pain does subside, even just a little, you will be able to use that pain for a purpose. You must open up to the pain and accept every emotion that you feel during that time. And I say that because sometimes when bad things happen to us or to people around us, we automatically think that that's it, that it's supposed to stay in the bad area. And I think that we don't understand that a lot of times, even the things that we think are meant to break us or should have broken us or destroy us or leave us lost and confused are actually, if you dig a little deeper and once the pain kind of just goes away just even a little bit, you can actually see the beauty in it. And it's crazy because, you know, I act like I can see the beauty in someone actually murdering their brother because of his race, you know, but I feel like even out of the crazy moments that I had after we lost Kyle, there were beautiful moments. Things that I had gotten the courage to do that I probably wouldn't have done if he was still living. Things that I had a passion to do, this podcast actually for one, if I wouldn't have probably went forth to try to accomplish if he were still here. There are a lot of things that I can say took a turn for the better, you know, because I used the pain to push me. I used the pain for a purpose to motivate me to want to do better. And, you know, if not anything, it let me know that life is short. Life is unpredictable. And even though we had crazy life experiences, at least since I've been on this earth, of unpredictable moments and things happening unexpectedly, when it comes to losing somebody so sudden like that and out of the blue, it really kind of put things into perspective for me that I don't know how long I have to be on this earth and I don't know when my time will come. You know, so I just have time to wait. You know what I'm saying? My brother had dreams. He had goals of really actually, he wanted to be a rapper. And his name was, his name was Kyle, but he called himself K-Baby Glow. So K-Baby Glow was really good with music and he, oh my gosh, he was just a natural talent. And I can just tell you right now, if he was still here, he'd probably be already famous. Like, honestly, that's just how gifted he was. But, you know, he didn't have a chance to really reach his pinnacle. He didn't have a chance to have kids, life, to travel. You know, we're from the south side of Chicago and we ain't had it too easy growing up. So, you know, he didn't get a chance to even see life to the fullest. You know what I'm saying? But, you know, that kind of let me know, like, hey, like, I don't know when my time is going to be up. Let me try to push for some things and get some things done in my life. And try to accomplish some things so that, you know, if anything was to ever happen to me, that I could have, you know, my kids to be set up. Or, you know, just if not anything, say that, you know, I was able to do that or accomplish that. You know, time doesn't wait for anybody. So if it's something that you even need to do, I don't even know why I'm going into this, but if it's something that you feel like you want to do, regardless of how scared you are or how much you maybe feel like you're not adequate enough to do it, do it. Do it. Because tomorrow is not promised. We don't know when. And I hate for this first podcast to be so kind of sad and a little deep, but I feel like it's a conversation that's needed. Like my favorite saying, like literally I say this all the time is that, you know, just never know what's going to happen. So you need to do what you need to do like now. Get it done. Don't wait because tomorrow isn't promised, you know. But, yeah, so that was pretty much the, I guess, what I wanted to kind of convey to you guys today. More so because the day that I don't want to actually drop this is going to be on his death day, September 6th. Yep, 2020 is when we lost Kyle. And I can honestly say it has been a roller coaster of emotions and, oh, my gosh, every day since we've lost him in life, as I know it, has changed. It'll never be the same. And it'll never be the same. And if you're out there and you're listening and you are maybe going through grief now or, like I said, you've gone through in the past, just know that I know, that I know, that I know that my name is Kenya. Kenya, I know that no matter what it looks like now, even no matter what you got to do to get there, know that a time of peace is coming to you. The time of peace is coming to you. Like, you know, right now in this moment, you know, wherever you are listening to this message, I want you to know that it will be OK, you know, that even if, even if it feels like the end of the world, you know, it's not. It's not. And allow that person to live through you. You know, I try to say every day I make up my mind. My brother's gonna be proud of me. You know, sometimes I get up out of bed. Don't get up out of bed. But I'm like, my brother was kind of with him. He'd be up out doing stuff, you know what I'm saying, trying to make beats, make music, make rhymes, put his music out. Like he he was the epitome of like feeling the moment and taking advantage of every second that he had. He was going to be outside doing something, trying to work on something, some ideas, something. And so I just use that to like, OK, this is for Kyle, you know, because if he was here, he wouldn't be playing no games. So I'm not I'm not about you either. So motivate yourself. You know, they use them to motivate yourself and knowing that if they were here, you know, they don't have the opportunities that we have now. You know, like my brother won't have the opportunity to, you know, pick up a mic, you know what I'm saying, the way he wanted to. You know, so here I am, you know, doing it in my own way. So, yeah. Thank you guys always for listening. Again, coping with grief requires time. Take all the time you need. Thank you guys so, so very much for for anybody who is doing this because this is the very first episode. Episode one of Can You Say? So if you're viewing this, it is for sure a reason. And I want to let you know that you are not alone. I'm going to have my contact information up. I'm always open to talk to anybody. I'm always open to even discuss, you know, in further detail, you know, kind of the stories and backside behind it. If anybody's out there and wanting to know more or to maybe vent, you know, trust me. Sometimes in the time of grief, grief, strangers seem to like, I don't know, sometimes kind of help make you feel a little bit better, I guess. But, yeah, I don't know. I like to ramble, so I'm going to cut this before I get to going and going. But this one is for you, Kyle, although you're not here. This is for your legacy. This is for your name. I'm doing this all for you, baby brother. I just thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I appreciate you. I miss you. And, guys, again, I want to thank everybody for tuning in to my podcast. Please make sure that you like, you share, you subscribe. Tell somebody about your girl. You know, you even got to do it virtually and digitally, you know, just see somebody on the street. Hey, I see this girl on YouTube. I heard this girl, you know, podcast. Well, and you got to listen to it. You got to check out. But, yeah. So thank you so much to all my audio listeners. If you want to get the video of me and get a picture of Kyle and maybe, you know, see what he was like. And always check out my YouTube channel. I'm going to have some stuff up there. Also, my Facebook page. Can you see it? But again, thank you guys so much for supporting my content. Thank you guys so much for supporting me. And I hope you guys like this. Again, thumbs up, like, subscribe. I am out of your hair today because, again, honey, I can talk your ears off. But no, thank you so much. You guys have a beautiful day. Kyle, this is for you. We're about to go celebrate your life, your legacy and everything. I'll probably put up some footage from that memorial, too, because we're having a little celebration for him. So thank you guys so much. You guys have a beautiful, beautiful day. Until then, you got to always remember, Kenya said it when you just felt it. Thank you so much. Bye. For tuning in to Kenya Said It with your host, Kenya, I hope you guys really enjoyed the show. And I hope it does help someone out there with their personal walk through grief. But don't forget to join me next Wednesday where we're going to talk about breaking out of cookie cutter mode. Trust me, you don't want to miss it. As always, you can check out my additional content on my social media platforms. That is all for this episode. See you guys next time.