Bloom Ep. 2: The Inner Child ft. Angelis Sanchez

In this episode of Bloom, the concept of the inner child is explored with special guest Angelise Sanchez. The inner child is described as a part of the subconscious that holds emotion, memories, and beliefs from childhood. It can recall both positive experiences and traumas. Connecting with the inner child can help identify areas of growth and heal past pain. Creating warm environments and practicing self-care are suggested ways to nurture the inner child. Angelise shares her childhood memory of seeing sea creatures in her bedroom and how it influenced her as an artist. Together, we're becoming loving, obedient and original. With me, Chrysalie, where I share a little of what I know, knowledge like water to help me grow and bloom into who I was created to be. A little mental health and some psychology to help us all blossom into the beautiful flowers we were born to be. Bloom. Welcome back to Bloom. Today on our episode, we are going to be talking about our inner child. Today, we have a very, very special guest here with us on Bloom. Today, we are graced with the presence of Angelise Sanchez. She is the host of the podcast, The Moral of the Story, where she whimsically unpacks lovable childhood stories. Who better to have with us today other than the great Angelise Sanchez. Angelise, welcome to Bloom. Thank you so much for joining us today. Hello, thank you so much for having me. It is an honor to be able to take part into one of Bloom's episodes. And I do not know much about the inner child. But when I do hear this term, the first thing that comes to mind is like the soul, that voice is deep inside our head that can talk and think and has feelings. That is perfect. That is exactly, that is pretty much exactly it. So let us dive a little bit deeper into this concept of the inner child. What exactly is that? So I was doing a little bit of research and I discovered that your inner child is a part of your subconscious. Like you said, it is like your soul. And it has been picking up messages before you were even fully able to process what was going on mentally and emotionally. It holds emotion, memories and beliefs from the past, as well as hope and dreams for the future. So the inner child can often recall good experiences, as well as childhood fears, traumas, neglect, or even significant loss. Basically, it is part of ourselves and has been present since we were born, right? Pretty much, it has. So it has been there all throughout our developing years, from baby to infant, toddler, young child, and even teenager. So our inner child is inside of us. When we go on a quest to find love, or to find social groups to belong to, it is the part that feels like understanding, calm, that warm and fuzzy feeling when we have good times with others. And it is also the part of us that feels rushed and like betrayed when we are hurt or ignored or even lied to by others. Okay, so our inner child is really just us. Pretty much, right? Just like you said, it is like our soul. But the state of our inner child is really important, because it can either break us, or it can make us in terms of being a productive member in society, or even being able to take steps towards our happiness. So I want us to take a moment here, Angelis. I want us to try and connect with our inner child. And this may get a little bit heavy. But I want us to see if we can recall an experience that has shaped us so far, without us even knowing. In order to do this, we have to be a little open, and even a little bit vulnerable. Is that okay, Angelis? Yeah, of course. All right. So in order to effectively connect with our inner child, and to begin to understand our possible needs and areas of growth, we have to do a little searching. We have to get a little curious about how we feel, or how we felt during our youthful years. What were our hopes, our dreams, and our fears? So let's take a moment. I want us to think back to one of our favorite childhood memories. Close your eyes if you need to. Or one of your hardest memories. If we don't want to reach any of those, let's just try to find a memory that we find vivid. I want us to take a breath. Can you take a breath with me? So for me, I'm seeing my 10-year-old self. I had just gotten home from school. I still had my book bag on, and my mom had just gotten a letter from my first choice at my middle school application. I was eager to open it. Nervous, yet hopeful. I was the projected valedictorian of my elementary school, and success and excellence were integral for me. My mom opened the letter, and she began to read. We regret to inform you. I'm, like, remembering it so vividly, I can see myself breaking down. I actually began to sob. I climbed into my dad's arms, and I wailed, and I cried, and I wailed, and I cried. And that's all I can really remember during that time. But as I was doing my research, I discovered that one sign that your inner child has some pain is chronic overworking and needing to achieve in order to get approval or belonging. And I'm always overworked. And throughout my life, I find myself constantly seeking others' approval. And despite this being a hard realization for me, becoming aware of it just now can allow me to de-center others' approval in my life and focus on affirming myself and healing the inner child for that need of approval and belonging. How about you, Angelise? What do you see? What do you see? Well, one of my childhood memories that do come to mind is a memory that I don't really, like, speak of because it is—it is just, like, quite, like—it's quite different because, like, it happened, like, when I was in Puerto Rico, and I was, like, around, like, three to five years old. And I would always have a hard time going to sleep. So—and it wasn't, like, your usual, like, nightmare. It was more like—like, my bedroom would just, like, turn into, like, like an ocean, like, floor, sort of. And so it was me, it was my mom, and then it was, like, my little sister, like, in the same bedroom. And so, like, I would just stay up and, like, look around the room, and I'll always, like, just see, like, these, like, sea creatures just flying around. And so I would, like, tell my mom, I'll be, like, like, hey, I can't fall asleep. Can you turn on the light? And she'll turn it on, and then she'll be, like, look, everything's gone. Go back to sleep. And then as soon as she, like, turned off the light, like, it'll just go back, like, all the sea creatures and, like—and it looks, like, so, like, real. So then what I'll do is I'll just, like, I would just lay on her back, and that would be, like, my safe place. I just fall asleep on her back, like, every single night. And so then, like, after that, like, I got older, and I do remember, like, I just couldn't keep that, like, memory out, because I probably wasn't, like, supposed to be, like, probably, like, seeing those things. Like, it was just, like, something that a lot of people don't really—'cause it was, like, like, dreaming awake or something. But I would tell her about it, and then she did tell me, like, before she passed that she will also see those creatures, too. But she didn't want to, like—she sort of didn't want to, like, concern me at the time when I was, like, little, because she didn't want me to be more scared. So then her—and her telling me that, then, I don't know, it was just sort of, like, it just made me feel a little bit better, because I wasn't, like, oh, my God, I'm just, like, maybe going crazy or whatever. So, yeah, that's one of the memories that I never really talk about, because it's just so strange. And I created a painting just to sort of spread that out on that painting. Wow. I really—I really like that. That's very different. But that's very interesting. Do you—do you experience that as you've gotten older at all? As I got older, it wasn't sea creatures, like, anymore. It—she even explained more to me that that house that we used to live in, that it was, like, it was sort of, like, haunted. Like, I, like, in my family, like, we believe, like, in spirits and, like, you know, stuff like that, and, like, God and stuff. So then that's what she said, like, that someone had done, like, a, like, a spell to the house. So I thought we were seeing things like that. But older, I would—I would not see sea creatures anymore. It would be, like, like, shadows and stuff like that, like, sleep paralysis. Yeah. And how do you think—how do you think that has moved with you as you've gotten older? What has that experience been like as you've gotten older with that? As I got older, I sort of just, like, flipped it around, and it was more of, like, inspiration. So, like, my drawings, like, they—they can seem, like, surreal and sort of, like, dreamlike. And I just—I guess I saw the beauty in all, like, the darkness. Yeah. Sea and stuff. And, yeah, so that's, like, sort of, like, the—like, the way that I look at it, like, that could be, like, like, healthy for—and then also, like, for me as an artist, yeah. Right. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And also finding comfort in your mom as well, right? That was also something beautiful. So, I thank you so much for being open and vulnerable. I really, really appreciate that with us today. So, as we gain a little bit more access into our inner child, let's share some ways that we can work on healing or even getting to know more about our inner child. So, to begin, we can create warm and inviting environments where we can reduce anxieties and fears and utilize little activities like this, just getting into our heads and exploring how we felt so that we can feel more, right? We can eradicate us from that numbness, that numbness feeling we often get as adults. You know, with everyday life, we often go numb and we forget the things that we've experienced in our lives previously or the things that have propelled us to be who we are. So, doing these little activities, allowing us to have these spaces where we can feel this way can allow us to connect more or even better with our inner child. And it doesn't have to be only spaces like this. We could also cultivate those spaces with friends and family, and it can be beautiful. Another way that we can do this is to create structure and nourish self-care. What do you like to do for self-care, Angelis? Well, for self-care, I mentioned like a safe place. And I think that that is true because now that I have like two daughters, it's really important for me to have like a space that's just for me where I hang like all my paintings and stuff and that sort of helps me like get into, I guess, just finding myself as an artist because that's something that I did. I feel like I did lose when it came to like motherhood and all the things that came with that. But also like just pouring like my feelings like on a painting, just like how I did with like that memory from my childhood. But also like when my mom had passed, I also like did pour my feelings into another painting. It was me, but I was like sort of like coming out of like the water. And after that, like it was just like a bit of relief, even though I still cry for it to this day. But like just the feeling itself of like the paintbrush and the paint, it's almost like the paint is like all this sadness that came with it. And I just would allow like the brush to like do what it wants. And then I don't even choose like the color. It's sort of like I let my feelings choose the colors for me. Wow. That's amazing. And that's an amazing way to not only connect with your self-care, but then connecting with yourself, being able to express yourself in that way. So that's really beautiful to be able to do that. And then what about any like passions or hobbies? Because that's another way that we can connect with our inner child or begin to heal our inner child. I know that you have your amazing podcast, right? Moral of the Stories. So what made you choose your podcast theme? Well, the first thing that did inspire me was this like storytelling itself. I've always loved to like storytell. Like I mentioned, like through the paintings, but also I do do a little bit of like illustration, like for books and animations. And then the idea of just a podcast was intimidating. So that's why I thought to myself, like if I see a podcast, like a piece of artwork, like a work of art, then if I change that around, then it will be easier for me to feel like more assuring because I just wasn't confident. Like when the class started, I was like, are they even going to be good? Is my podcast going to be like good enough? I never thought of, I never saw myself making a podcast. And then, so storytelling was like the main thing and that helped me feel more comfortable. And then after that, just focusing on like the moral of the story. And that is more to educate about the stories that we've heard growing up, because children are exposed to these stories at a very young age. So it is important for them to understand that, like what the stories are teaching them. And when I was younger, like for me, it wasn't really clear for me, like what the story itself was saying and what lessons were applying. I was more focused on like the characters and what would happen, but I never really applied it, like the lesson itself to my future. Yeah. So I'm glad that my podcasts are putting emphasis on that. A hundred percent. Your podcast is really great. I've listened to only one episode thus far, but it's phenomenal. Really getting to outline that moral that's there of the story. And I think you already began to touch on it, but what do you think your podcast possibly does or could do for your inner child? Because you said that how like your art is a way that you do self-care and you connect with yourself. How do you think your podcast, this storytelling, has allowed you to connect with yourself or your inner child specifically? Yeah. So I guess like it appeals to my inner child because, um, yeah, I never really thought about these stories as like a guideline or like, um, a sheet code almost. Um, and I, um, I would just focus on like the characters themselves and what they look like and like their design, I guess, because, um, I was, I was always like into like drawing characters and stuff. So that's probably why I was so, um, so like for, for instance, like when it came to like the three little pigs, I was just like, how the pigs look like the houses, like, Oh, one was out of wood, one was out of bricks, but why? I never really thought to myself, like, why, why did this pig, why was this pig the size four with the stone, um, house and not the other? Yeah. So when I listen to your podcast, it appeals to my inner child because of the fun and the animation that's also associated with it. And then the morals actually being able to understand that why I was always a super curious kid. So I was always eager to explore and to learn new things. So that definitely appealed to my inner child. And one other way that we could heal our inner child is by shifting our focus. So we can shift our focus from performing and like fronting in our everyday life. Um, in comparison to doing, being and celebrating ourselves. And that's what these children's books, they do, right? They allow you to be yourself. And you're, you're traveling into this book of what people are doing from the day to day and their celebrations that are associated with it. And then lastly, to heal our inner child, we can also shift our inner beliefs and focuses. Remove all of our negative self-talk and just the same way, how you flipped, um, what you were experiencing as a child into something positive, right? We can, we can shift our beliefs and align ourselves with professionals, right? The individuals like therapists, possibly, or counselors and communities that can support us in this journey. So I thank you so much for being here today, Angeles. Um, that's all today flowers. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to share some tools to you to learn how to bloom. Thank you. Thank you, Angeles, for being here. Thank you.