LANTOK Joy & Happiness

The Land Talk episode discusses the concepts of joy and happiness. The hosts share their personal experiences and opinions on what these terms mean to them. They discuss how joy is a momentary emotion, while happiness is more long-lasting. They also talk about the innocence and pure joy that children exhibit, contrasting it with the stress and overthinking that adults often experience. The hosts reflect on childhood memories of holiday celebrations as a source of joy and express the desire to find more moments of joy in their adult lives. They also touch upon the challenges of maintaining the illusion of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny for children. Hello everyone and welcome to our latest episode of our Land Talk. Today we're going to be talking about joy and happiness. So I am Candace and with me I've got I'm Amanda, I'm Rebecca, I'm Ari and we're going to talk about what joy and happiness means to us today. So I would like to pose the question joy and happiness. What does that mean to you whenever you think about those two words? What's the first thing that comes to mind for you? Ari you go first. Probably it's more of like memory that the first time that comes to my mind but I remember the first time that I have to like I have a big a big character in a play that we were doing at a school and I was preparing for months for it for months. I have to beg to get that character because it was like a random selection. When I finally did it and I finished the character and everything and we presented I was so happy so happy. It was the best for me and my parents went to me like hey you did this good, did this bad or anything. I wasn't even paying attention to them. I didn't want baggage or anything. I didn't want feedback. I was just happy. I did this and I did it great. I don't care. That's like a very specific memory that you have. It's the first time that I remember being that happy about something. That's wonderful. So like joy for you is like so there's happiness and then like joy is that does it come above happiness? I'm not sure because there's not like there's not a way to measure them. Yeah. But I feel like it's different. I feel like joy is an emotion in the moment. Happiness is more like something that you have every day or that you aspire to every day. Okay. That's pretty cool. I think I kind of agree with that too. Like joy is a moment in time whereas happiness is like a longevity type of thing. Rebecca what about you? What is that when you hear joy and happiness like what's the first thing you think about? Smiling and laughter and getting to spend time with like people who means a lot to you whether that's your family or friends. That's happiness and joy for me. Yeah. So yours is like an overall broad feeling of that. I can't think of one like specific thing. I mean like when I come home and the boys are happy to see me that makes me very joyful. Yeah. I'm happy to see them. I'm happy that they're happy to see me and not like whatever mom. They're still young enough to like adore me. They're not teenagers yet. They're programmed. They have to still. They haven't hit the angst stage yet. They still love you and bring joy. I have something that whenever I talk about mine it's going to relate back to you and I'm surprised that it's something that you didn't say this time around but let's go to Amanda first. I always think of kids because if we think about it kids are always happy automatically. The smallest things make them happy and as adults we find it so difficult to remain happy and try to find it and there's like okay there always has to be something to get us there like we always search for it but sometimes people can't find it. They get upset by that. Yeah. Like kids you know they see a rainbow. Oh my god. It makes their day like and it's just the pureness and the innocence of just being happy with the little things that you have. Yeah. So that's why I always think of like little kids smiling and laughing because it's pure joy. Yeah. Joy and happiness. I completely see what you're talking about. Evie made me take a slow motion video of her and our dog Draco yesterday jumping in the trampoline together and there's like all these leaves that had fallen from our tree into this big giant outdoor trampoline and so I've got a slow motion video of them when we play back and watch it and you can see that exact expression on both of their faces. Like the dog's face was like with his mouth hanging open and like bouncing and her face in slow motion just making all of these reactions which feels exactly like what you're talking about. That like just innate joy that is coming in that moment in time. Like the little things that just make you so happy. For them it was jumping in a bunch of leaves in the trampoline yesterday and it's like those little things that you were saying. Yeah. I definitely see that. And the adult would be like oh no I have to pick up the leaves. Or oh they think about. Jumping in the trampoline is hard. They put too much thought into it. It's like okay okay now I'm gonna have to do this afterwards and whereas kids are just like like you said they live in the moment. Yeah. And the grown-up would like see the joy for just a split second but then they go to so much quicker like oh the chore. Yeah. And don't live in that. You leap out of it really quickly. Yeah. No it's true. So similar like joy is the moment is the moment that you're experiencing and like so we have to learn how to take our happiness and let that expand in that moment of joy. Instead of collapsing. Yeah. Instead of going. Under that line of thinking as adults we experience joy but we are not that much into happiness. Yeah. Like like how do we take it in that moment and let it. And let it like make our day. Yeah. Yeah. No that's really true. And there are little moments where I feel like that sometimes where you know you say that like that just made my day. Whatever that moment is you're like that's gonna carry me through the rest of today. It's gonna make me smile up until I go to bed tonight. Like those are it's true. And like we have to find those moments more often. Yeah. You know like it's part of our routine. Right. Exactly. Exactly. We need to actively seek them. Like we're always on the hunt to find more of those moments more frequently. Yeah. Yes. If you're searching through the stacks for Sunday. I feel like for me whenever I think of joy and happiness the first thing that I always think of and this is what I was surprised for Becky that you didn't say it is as a child as a child that any holiday time was like there's so much food and there's so many people and there's always going to be some kind of activity associated with it that is just the festive fun spirit and to me that was always so joyous no matter what was going on even in like as a kid so obviously don't know like oh the food isn't working right or you know if you're late or whatever. I wouldn't do it. Completely oblivious to any stressors that could be going on. Happy. So happy. Those to me like when I hear joy that's what I imagine. I imagine all of the holiday time and like all of the cousins getting together and just doing whatever we wanted. Like I remember the adults just doing whatever they're doing and like we were just off doing whatever we were doing and like that was joyful. Being joyful and getting into mischief and whatever you know whatever it was we knew there was going to be something fun we were doing whether it was like we're going to have an Easter egg hunt or we're going to open presents or you know whatever we're going to eat a big huge meal and then there's going to be tons of awesome dessert afterwards or you know whatever it was that to me was what like the feeling of joy and now that I think about it too like as an adult it doesn't hit the same. It doesn't quite hit the same those holiday times. It feels more like you're thinking about the chore part of it. And it makes me think like man all those adults did a really rocking job whenever I was little to like make me oblivious to all of those things and I feel like that we have to kind of take on that kid vibe when we're in those stressful moments and not think about like how hard it'll be or you know what I have to do after the other cleanup is going to be terrible at the end of this or whatever and just like enjoy inside those moments and not worry about what's going to come afterward type of situation. One of the biggest chores for Christmas time around the boom is lulling the cat out of the bag about Santa. That's like the biggest one. You're just like there's a heavy burden on my shoulders right now. Oh no! What is this? Minor bugs have been fixed. I don't care about Scan Snap. Yes, I don't want to do Scan Snap. Where did Audacity go? We're going to edit this out. Sorry for that. Just like being able to have to hide that. It's a very big stressor that you have around the hallways at least that's what I feel like at home. We just told my nephew this year just for Easter that there was no Easter bunny. He was like, he didn't put you two together about Santa. Oh, that's good. Easter, that's one less holiday that we have to go like, yeah. You start seeing these things. They get to a point where they're a certain age and then they start making sense with what they see around. We saw that at the store the other day. It's weird, they shop at the same place. The bunny went to the same store. It's sad because when you ruin it, you kill that joy for them and you're kind of like, I'm a monster. Yeah, it's really, really hard. You have to think about those things and then your kids start asking questions and you're like, am I going to answer it honestly? I don't love the feeling of actively being dishonest. No, exactly. I don't like that. It's really hard. Yes, exactly. When you're talking about all the stressors, I'm like, that's a big one. We just had to do the same thing this year because we did a little Easter egg hunt in our yard for our neighbors too, the neighbor's kids. Evie and Max, they know that we hid the Easter eggs for their Easter egg hunt. They know the Easter bunny brought their baskets, but the parents, we hid the Easter eggs. We start to say that, Jason and I, about the eggs for the neighbor friends. The mom was immediately like, but the Easter bunny decided to come back and hide these eggs just for you guys. I'm like, that she did, that she did. That's exactly what she did. Evie shoots me this look and I'm trying to give her the eyes like, don't you dare say anything about this right now. Zip it. Just with my eyes. Don't say anything. It is a little bit stressful. It is a little bit. Yeah, for sure. How old is your nephew? Ten. I was ready at that point where you're like, alright, you're a little bit older. Yeah, it's hard because I have a two year old and a four or five year old niece and nephew who they still receive gifts. So it's easier just to put them off again. Yeah, I think so. When I was younger, when my sister was the one who told me there was no such thing as family, I was like, you're lying. You never trust your sister. Yeah, that's true. And I just look at my mom and she just has the saddest face. So I'm like, oh my god. Christmas is horrible now. And you think about it, it's one of the things that kills the holiday for you because it's no longer fun. It's hard to feel joy, but now when the kids are going through it again and they're opening their gifts or they're excited about going for the Easter hunt, it's something you're like, okay, it's living again. You're living vicariously through them, through their emotions. We're getting ready with them for the holiday and they're excited to put everything together. And it's like a little thing, a little miracle. Yeah, it's something that I consider sad, not exactly about it, but about growing out of it. If you see right now any adult getting as excited as a kid for any holiday, people tend to judge them. People tend to be around them like, that is childish. And it's so wrong, but I'm around like, that is not your problem. Why is it so bad for this person to be happy? That is a really, really good point about joy and happiness. I usually say this phrase, you should never yuck somebody's yum. If they're enjoying it, let them enjoy that thing. If that's where they find their happiness and their joy, that is wonderful for them. And that's a really, really good point where society likes to just judge a lot of people for a lot of things now. And it's like, but happiness should never be judged. You shouldn't be judging people's happiness. Let them enjoy. Does anybody have any particular things that really just brings them a lot of happiness and joy that they might not always talk about to everybody else? Like little things that you're like, whether it's like a guilty pleasure for something, or you're like, I just really like this thing, and it makes me happy. I have many, I think. Yeah? I like small versions of anything. Miniatures? Yeah, miniatures of anything you can find. However, I don't buy them. It's just finding them. It's just being in a store, I don't need to buy it, but being in a store and finding one little thing, I'm around like, Mom, it's so tiny! Tiny ones. It's good that you don't need to buy them. Yeah. You can take it in and experience that joy like everybody else. At the moment, it's great, and I don't need to buy it. I'm just around like, oh, my God, I found it. But at the same time, it's, for example, and I know it shouldn't affect me, but it does. If I show it to my mom or show it to someone, and people are sort of like, yeah. I'm like, okay, this is not as funny anymore. Yeah, you want them to enjoy it with you. Share in that excitement with you. Yes, yeah. That is also a big part about it, where you're like, don't touch me for my happy. Let me be happy. Even if it's something that I'm like, that's not my thing, I always get excited when somebody else is excited. I can't help but getting excited when somebody's being all nerdy about something. I love that. It's true. The smile is contagious. Yeah, yeah. I think it's really, really cute whenever somebody is all interested in a thing that I never would have thought of to begin with. I think it's a really adorable characteristic. So miniatures. Miniatures. That's what's got you right now. I'm going to be sending you all kinds of pictures of tiny things now. I will love them. Have you seen the little tiny chef videos where they make like a little tiny kitchen? Oh my gosh. It's true. And they have these tiny tools that they're using. And I have this friend. This friend has absolutely no interest in any miniature ever. However, he is there to take any picture of any miniature I found. And he's excited about all of them. Yes. That is really cute. This guy that me and my sister saw on YouTube one day, where he makes little miniature stuff for his hamster. He made a movie theater in a little chair. And he put like a little piece of corn in the little bucket for the popcorn. Oh my gosh. And then when he went to go wash his hands in the bathroom, which was the next room, there was a little bar of soap that he put there. So this guy really thought it through. But everything was so tiny. For the whole hamster. Yes. He's done so many. He did one for, what was that game one that was really big on Netflix? Oh, the one that they had to do up to the green and everything. The squid game. Yes. He did a squid game with a whole bunch of little hamsters being released. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. The little corns for them. They have to choose a little shape out of the cookie and everything. It was really cute. And we're just like watching. And we're like, we've been here for 35 minutes just watching little hamsters trying to choose. There is another, if you're into the hamster thing, there is another one that they go through. They build all these little mazes for them to go through, but they're vertical. They're not laying out on the ground. And I think it's called General Hamster? Major Hamster. Major Hamster. And they have all different settings. Sometimes it will be like a cave underground and they're going through all kinds of, and then a little big spider will drop through and there's trap doors and things that the hamster has to go through. And you can tell there's little treats hidden in certain parts of it because that's what they're trying to find. They have these little styrofoam balls where they have to go through the ball pit. But they're little, mini, tiny styrofoam balls and then he's stuck with balls all over him. And there's every setting you could possibly imagine that a hamster would go through if they make them. And they're just video after video of them. I can imagine, like, once you know one video recommends another, you're like, oh my God. This is what brings, this goes to my joy. The little weirdo things that make us happy for me is watching funny animal videos. And this could be, like, the cats, dogs, raccoons, ferrets, any type of thing. They're all over Instagram and I just watch reel after reel at night in bed with Evie before we go to bed. And we just watch the most ridiculous animal videos that they're doing such silly things. Even now they have ones where they take, like, popular songs and they make the, it's like they change the lyrics. And the cats are doing the things that are in the lyrics to it and the dogs are. And, oh my gosh, this is hilarious. We will laugh forever and ever and ever about them. And then there'll be random parts in it where the animals are making ridiculous faces and she'll screenshot it. So I have all these screenshots on my phone of wacky, wacky looking animal faces, like, super up close doing weird things. I don't even know what's on my phone anymore. It's a bunch of weird stuff. And she likes all of them, so my algorithm is really crazy. So that's the thing that, like, I really look forward to at the end of the night is what silly, ridiculous thing are we going to look at tonight and laugh our butts off about. That's my thing right now that makes me happy. Good question. Does it make you happy thinking about it? Like, looking forward to it? Yes. Yeah. Like, I'm like, okay, we're going to read our story because we always do bedtime stories too. We're reading Percy Jackson right now. And then afterwards, I'm like, okay, let's get to Instagram. Like, I don't know. Let's get to the good stuff. Let's get to the good stuff. We did our checkers, our sweatshirts, our funny stuff. Yeah. And then it's so hard because, like, reading bedtime stories, like, brings her down. Oh. And then we watch these things and we're cracking up laughing and it's just not the right order that we're doing them in. Yeah. Grandpa's are so good when it's time to calm down and say goodbye. Hey, let me give you some more candy or just start, like, chasing after that. Uh-huh. Grandpa's timing. It's not. It's like bedtime. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, exactly. Because they just have so much joy when they're around their grandkids. It's true. I know. It's true. It's not bedtime when you're around grandparents. Yeah. Exactly. As my dad likes to say, I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. Okay. Yeah, you did. You just, like, poked her in the belly or whatever and that's immediate instigation. Like, here we go. Because she wants to play. Yeah, exactly. And she wants to play. It's definitely true, the joy for them. What is yours, Rebecca? I mean, you guys know I'm going to say Legos. I know. Yeah. Legos. But I will say, calendar year 2024, it's been better on my budget because I'm finally building some of the, like, sets I stockpiled and I'm not buying as many because it's an addiction that I'm like, I just have to buy all these sets. Yeah. But when I actually sit down and build them, and I've been, like, preparing Lego sets for Star Wars Day, so I'm like, you know, I've got to finish all these other Star Wars themed ones. But it does make me very, very happy. Yes. That is good. That is really good. Do you like buying them better than building them? Sometimes. I like collecting them. I like buying things. I really do like buying things. What's a form of therapy? Yeah. I feel like it brings me lots of endorphins. A lot. Not after the fact when I realize all the things that I have bought and that cost money, like real things. That's that feeling I don't like very much. But in the moment of buying things, I love shopping. I love, like, looking at this thing and, ooh, I like that. And what's that? And I want to put it in my cart and I want to go buy it. Like, I love that feeling. Being a professional shopper. It is. It reminds me of something that came out in TikTok, I think. Like, a whole discussion, because someone in TikTok said, buying art supplies and using art supplies are two different things. Yes. It's true. Those are two different things. Yes. And people were like, oh, my God, yes. Yes. Because, like, when you buy art supplies, it's, like, nice sets of things, and they're fresh and new, and they're so wonderful. But making it is, like, frustrating. Because it never turns out the way you want the thing to work or whatever. But the set is always so fresh and new. The idea of it before the act. Like, sometimes it's even more exciting than it feels. Yes. Yes. Yeah. For sure. I definitely agree with that. Exactly. I've heard the same thing about books. There was this one guy, and I didn't watch the video, but he was like, with books, there's a thing about purchasing books, that there are some people who just love purchasing them, and then some people who actually love reading the books. And he's like, there is a difference. There is. And I could see that. Like, you know, you're like, oh, this one came out in the series. Now I have to complete the rest of them. This one has a beautiful cover, but I need everything in it. And before you know it, you have 10,000 copies of, like, different things. Yes. Three different editions of it. Yes. It's okay. All of that, I think, was the one that told me that there is a difference, and it has its name, that it's between Bookworm and Book Dragon. And I was like, yeah. I need to know what this terminology is because I need to know. And he was like, Bookworms is people who love reading books, people who want to read books every time, every time. Book Dragons are people who treasure books as if they were, like, the most precious thing ever. They don't need to read them. They just need to have them. It's their treasure. It's their hoard. It's their hoard. It's their treasure. It's their hoard. I had never heard that term before, but it makes so much sense. I like it. It does. It makes a lot of sense. And I can picture those people who are dragons versus worms. No, that's very true. Well, a dragon's bookshelf is probably more, like, aesthetically pleasing. A Bookworm, they're going to be all, like, worn. Yes. And faded. Yes, exactly. Dog ears. Yes. But they've actually been well-read. Yes. It's like, look at my shiny, pristine treasure collection. Yes. Limited-ish. Yes. Yes. Special publication. That's true. You're like, yes. I'll have, like, three copies of the same book. It's like, it has this edition, and look at this cover, but I need a new page. Yeah, I know. It's a hard cover, but the paperback's really pretty, too. You're a dragon. I am. You're a Book Dragon. I was telling you that story, the Orphans and the Ogres. Yes. Yes. That one is a children's book, but one cover has the ogres with the little girl in front of, like, a cookie thing, but it's a hard cover. And me, I have a specific order of how I like my books. And for children's books, since they're usually beautiful, I like them all on hard cover. Yeah. But then I saw the paperback version, and it's the ogres walking down the town holding the little girl's hand, and the little kids are, like, looking outside the window and everything like that. And I'm like, that's a really beautiful cover. They're like, I need it. I need that book. It's the same exact book, not like one or two. No, it's both copies of book one. They're different covers. It's a hard cover. It's a hard choice. Yes. Yes. So, I think I probably fall into a book dragon category, too. I was just, while Izzy was doing her schoolwork this morning, there's a library in the classroom that she's in in our house. And so, I've got, like, okay, all the fantasy books. I'm rearranging the bookshelves, and I've got, like, all the fantasy books here. And then I start grabbing all of the geodes and gems that we have, and I start, like, layering them inside the books. And, like, there's, like, moon pendants and things. And I'm like, this is all the fantasy pretty stuff. I wasn't even, like, looking at what the titles were. I was just like, ooh. So, yeah, I was, like, treasure trove, like, essentially. Yeah. I have, there are, like, two bookshelves in my house. One in the, for some reason I want to say meeting room. It's not a meeting room. It's a meeting room. The living room. And one in my bedroom. And here's the thing. Every book that I have read or I'm planning to read is in the living room. And there are, like, the special books in my bedroom. And my mom is around, like, what is about this book? And I'm like, don't touch it. That's not a reading book. You haven't read it? No, that's not. It's not a reading book. That's not a reading book. It's a special edition. It's mine. Yeah. I'll get it from the library. Yeah. You can have the gross copy from the library. And I, ooh, I did that with movies too. Yeah. I am collecting the still book edition of the Studio Ghibli movies. But I'm collecting them. So, I'm not even opening. I'm not even, like, opening the plastic. No. Nothing. And a couple, like, months ago, I get out some of those movies from the library because I wanted to see them. Yeah. And my mom was like, do you have them there? No. We're not touching that. Those are not. And the ones that come, like, in the tin? In the, yeah, like the metal, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I have one now. I feel like it's part of my hoard. Well, I feel like we know the answer to your question then, Amanda. What brings you joy? It's a lot of different things. Yeah. But I think it's, like, the silly moments that happen. Like, when I'm, like, hanging out at home with my family, or, and someone does something incredibly stupid, and you're just there all laughing about it. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, other people are out, you know, either at a restaurant, hanging out with friends, at a club, at a bar. I'm like, I'm happy with us just here playing cards, doing everything. Oh, yeah. Listening to music and just laughing and being dumb with each other. Yeah. It's like that. That, to me, is just joy and happiness. Yeah. And it's something that's very achievable. But, and also, people have lives, too, so it's harder to accommodate that. When those moments do happen, you don't get those back. Yeah. I know. It's very true. Like, the, everybody's just falling over laughing about something that's absolutely ridiculous that just happened. Yeah. You get the step back and be like, when was the last time this, like, you know, actually happened? Yeah, we're all having a good time like that. Yeah. Oh, that's really nice. I, I like that, too. Those moments are always really, really fun. That's, like, but like you said, those things don't always happen because everybody's living their own lives. Things are going on. And that's come to my realization, especially having a child that reminds you of those things. Like, Mommy, you're, you've been cooking dinner forever. You haven't even, like, sat down with me to talk to me or play with me. And it's in those moments that you're like, you're right. I need to just stop what I'm doing right now. Even though that stuff needs to get done, but it's like, sit in the moment. You need to just sit in the moment for a little while. Just take it as a sign. Yeah. Just go out and have fun. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. We, we were at Target yesterday buying things. It was really nice. And Evie bought this bug catcher at Target. They have them in the spot right now. And they look like little RVs. And they're clear, but they look like a little RV. And it comes with, like, a little net and a little magnifying glass. And a little bug catcher, like, tweezer thing that has a little ball that you grab them with. And last night she was so excited. The neighbors were not home. She wanted to do this with them. But she was like, it doesn't matter. I'm going to, I'm going to catch a bug. Right? And so she goes out and I hear her from around the house, Mommy, I've got a butterfly. It's like one of those teeny tiny little yellow ones with the tiny little ones, little yellow wings. And she's like, I've got it in here. Look, it's in here. And she, the expression on her face was pure joy. And I'm just like, it was like a $2 ticket. Right, exactly. So, like, two bucks on this thing. And then immediately she was like, but I feel bad that it's in here. I'm going to let it go now. And she was like, I don't want it to die. But it was very fleeting, but she was still so excited about it. Like, and it was like, yeah, I could be in there cooking dinner right now, but I'm out here, you know, in the dirt or whatever. And it was good. It was really good. Her happiness is your happiness. Yeah. You just have to keep reminding yourself to, like, take those moments, I feel like. Because it's hard now as adults. Like, I feel like it's really hard to find. And, like, a couple of you have already said a few times that you have to, that we feel like we're chasing happiness. What does that mean to you guys? Because I know you've said it a few times. There is often this feeling that you have to get to a goal to be happy. So you have to, you know, you have to have this amount of money. You have to have this job. You have to have this title, this thing that you want to buy, anything. And the thought is, like, okay, when I get that, I will be happy. But you have to go through all this process to finally get that. And all that process is not happy. It's not joyful. It's actually pretty stressful most of the time. It feels even worse. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. That's a good point. And also, too, I feel like we see so much, especially on social media, like everybody's just posting these individual, like, oh, I did it. I achieved this thing. And this is awesome, the highlight of it. And you don't see the journey that goes into it. So it's kind of setting, like, an unseen expectation for everybody, like, oh, well, look at everybody else doing these awesome things. And they're having such wonderful, happy lives. But we don't see all the struggle that happens on the way to get there. So, I don't know, while it's nice to see everybody really happy doing their things, I don't think it's, like, a truthful experience that you're seeing either. I think a lot of people associate money with happiness. And that's an issue itself. Yeah. Because if you think about it, like, you know, you said the people who are trying so hard to achieve all these things so that way they can be successful and on top. But then you have people who were born into money, and they're still not happy. So it's kind of like there is no, like, connection. It makes life easier. Yeah, it might make it easier. But more happiness? No. Yeah. But I like the smaller, simpler moments because those are the ones that you're actually laughing and having fun, enjoying it. Whereas money, yeah, you might have it there, but what's the expression? What are you going to do when you're six feet under and who's going to use the money at that point? Exactly. Not you. Not me. You worked your whole life just to get that money, and you're dead end. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And that's the expression you don't enjoy. Yeah. And I feel like, you know, when you're chasing goals like that, is it your goal that you want for yourself? Is it a goal that somebody has kind of, like, pushed upon you to have? There's so many different factors in what you're doing. And I think, for my experience at least, I've had a time in my life where I was in a position that I was not finding happiness in anymore. And there was a lot of hardship, and it was really just a situation I wanted to be out of so badly that I learned really well from that. And I can recognize in myself, like, okay, is this thing making me happy? No. I'm going to let that go. I am not going to stick with it. I am going to only do the thing that makes me feel good and makes me feel happy. But I feel like that is incredibly hard for people to do. I think so too, especially if you have it harder, more difficult. Like, let's say you're a single parent or something like that. Yeah. Often you don't have the luxury of being able to let something go. Like, you don't have to do it. So I think, like, with something like that, it is very hard to get to that point of letting it go. But once we do, there's ten times happier. And it does everything, you know. We've probably all been through that. Like, just going there day after day and just spending a couple of seconds there, like, I'm done. I don't want this anymore. This is hurting me rather than helping me type of situation. Yeah, and there is, I think, an amount of privilege in being able to change your situation. Like, absolutely. It is hard because I have, I heard this, I read this on the Internet. Somebody said, like, okay, money does not give you happiness. But lack of money will give you misery. When you are, like, actively lacking money and lacking the means to do something, it will be so stressful that it's impossible to be happy. I mean, I get that, too, because it makes things difficult for you. But, I mean, it's going to be difficult for everyone at all points in life. Like, you know, that's what they are. They're difficulties. They're there to help you grow stronger and to learn from your mistakes. So, yeah, everybody is going to have to face difficulties. But, I don't know, I just think people focus too much on the amount of money that they get is equaling success and that equals happiness. I can see where you're saying that in some regards. Like, if you're in a position in a company and there's the possibility of upward movement because you're going to make more money doing that, it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be happy getting that money up here, that upward movement that you're doing. That's the part where it's like, you know, we can take the library, for example. Like, there is room for upward mobility for everyone. However, some people just want to stop where they are. Yeah. And that is great. Like, that is okay and that is great. And that's where you have to realize, okay, well, they are at where they are happy. The end. There shouldn't be pressure on people to, like, well, just because you can move up doesn't mean that you should, that it's going to make you happy. What? I feel like I'm talking too much. No. There is this great person, I don't know how to translate his job to English, but that I follow. And he said on an interview that people have, like, a stupid magic talk that is basically this thinking of you have to be happy and you have to be the best and it has to be now. And that we're forcing that onto people, like, you have to be the best, you have to be the best, you have to be the best, you have to be happy, you have to be happy, you have to be happy. And that has to occur now. Yeah. And that this pressure that we put on ourselves is what is stressing us out. Yeah, yeah. People are often self-inflicted, you know. Yeah. You put yourself in unrealistic... Expectations. Yeah. Unattainable. Yes, yeah. And it's funny that you said, like, you have to be happy, you have to be the best. To me, those things are not mutually exclusive. Like, you don't have to be the best in order to find your happiness. Often the people who are better at something don't realize it. Is it? So, like, if you think about, like, someone, they're like, you might say to someone, oh, my God, you're the best at doing this. They're like, oh, you think so? Really? Like... Yeah, yeah. They're very humble. They don't realize it. You don't have to do it. I don't do it. Like, happiness could be equal to, you know, you're the best because you often don't realize it until someone says, hey, you're really good at this. You're like, really? Yeah. I'm just trying to get by. Right. Exactly. That's true. And what does even the best mean? Like, we're like, that's going to mean something different to everybody. So, yeah, it's unattainable, I think, anyway, because it's like, well, who's qualifying this best? What does that mean? Like, the highest position, the most money, those things don't necessarily go hand in hand either. I feel like in today's society, the pressure is a lot. And I've been saying this a lot lately to people, like, when I was younger, it was you go to school, you get your bachelor's, you're good. Yeah. You know? A master's was considered, oh, you're an overachiever. Good job. Yeah. Nowadays, you have your bachelor's, okay, it's kind of like an associate's degree or like an A. It's a given. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very basic, like, you're not going to make it anywhere unless you have a master's is the new, like, you know. The new extra. Yeah. Or it's the requirement that you meet. And then a Ph.D. is kind of like, okay, good job. Yeah. But that's the highest you can go. Everything is just so much harder now that it is hard to find happiness with it because everybody is being so competitive about trying to make a lot of money or trying to find a place to live or things like that. It's hard to find happiness in the society that we live in, the economy that we live in. It's very difficult. You see, like, a three-bedroom apartment or something is going for, like, $3,000, basically $1,000 per room. And you're like, hi, I can't afford that. And those kids who are in debt from college, they can't afford that either. So it's like you're never able to dig yourself out of that hole. And I think that's why it's so difficult for people to achieve happiness. And they're like, it's just something that's never going to happen for me because I'm not there at that point. There are no perfect moments in life if you think about it. Yeah, no, it's absolutely true. And that's where I feel like you have to find the little things that actually are the meaningful things. In order to achieve that happiness for yourself, we obviously have to deal with those big things around us in the world. But we have to make time to find those little moments that we're like, I just found that tiny thing in the store. And it is adorable. It's a teeny, tiny telephone. And I love it. Or I just built one of my Lego sets that I had from forever ago. And it feels so great. Or I just had this most hilarious moment with my family that we were all laughing hysterically about. We have to hold those moments and keep them and not let them go away until we don't have those memories anymore. I feel like that's really – and we don't really talk about that enough. It's true. But you said the small moments. That can be something as small as getting a green light. Yeah. Acknowledge the joy that that was. Yes. That's right. No pain, no gain. But take a moment to be like, sweet. It's a moment. You got that moment. Just like you. This morning, I just saw – or this afternoon, I was driving in the car. And I turned and looked next to me. And the girl in the car next to me that was driving was like rocking out. I couldn't hear anything from the car. But she was the happiest person I ever met. And she was so happy. And I was just like – it just made me so happy. I was like, oh, my God. Sometimes it makes you happy. It is great to see someone be happy. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. And that can be contagious, too. Just like a smile. Yeah. Just dancing like a lunatic. Yes, go on. She was not aware that anybody was looking at her at all. I did not feel voyeuristic whatsoever. It was really great. I was feeling it. I wish I knew what song she was listening to. It was really, really good. She was having such a good time. But, yeah, it's like now I didn't even think about that until right now. When we said it again, like, no, I want to think about that moment more today because it made me feel so happy on the inside. It feels like a moment that you have made your day. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I was loving it. I wanted the green light not to turn green because I wanted to keep watching her do it. So, yeah, it's like you said, those teeny things that are just like, that was very silly, and I loved it for sure. We got to, like, not forget about them the second that we get into reality again or whatever. And even, like, there are happy things that can transform, like, a bad moment into a good one. I was driving. I was taking my cousin to the downtown not long ago, and I hate driving. I don't like it. I was driving because I wanted to take her there, but I don't really like driving, and I was stressed out. And going downtown. Yeah. Like, it was horrible. And then she said, like, hey, can I, like, can I play some music? I was like, yeah, sure. Like, as much as your car, just play music. And she put Hamilton songs that we both love. Yeah. And we were singing. There was so much traffic that we didn't, like, we didn't get, we're going anywhere. And I also missed, like, two entrances, so I was going around. Just singing things with her. And at some point, like, in the change from one song to another, she was like, I just wanted to tell you that if we don't get to the downtown and we don't do anything, I'm still happy with this trip. And I was like, yeah, I'm still happy. Awesome. Yep. It did turn your frown upside down right away. That was so fun. And I was still driving. I was still in the activity I don't like. Yeah. It was great. It was so fun, yeah. We have to find that magic to bring to the moments that are not joyful for us. Like, find that, like, how can, what can I do right now to, like, make this better, even though I'm doing something so dumb right now? Like, we've got to find those moments where we're doing that. Oh, what was, Paris was telling me she had to watch one of our mandatory training videos that was on. And, like, not going to be very fun at all. And she's like, yeah, but then I just got my cross-stitch out and I'm listening. And, like, I'm doing my cross-stitch while I'm listening. And I was like, there you go. Like, that's lovely. What a good idea. So I think I've seen you doing, like, you're listening to a WebEx or whatever and you're building your little Lego. Like, do something that is going to be fun. My camera's not on. Exactly. Exactly. Like, that, I think that that's great because you can still listen and do, you know, participate in the thing when you're listening. But, yeah, like, find those moments. What's going to make this more fun? We should do that. That should be our challenge for this upcoming week. Like, if we know we have to do a not-so-fun thing, see if we can find something, like, individually in our own lives. Like, what can I do within this situation to make me feel better about it and to bring me joy in it? That's good homework. I like that homework. Yeah? So, like, because we all have something. There's always going to be something. Oh, that's perfect timing. Um, yeah, I'm going to throw that challenge out to everybody. All right. And then we'll report back to each other. Okay. All right. I like it. All right. Well, this was our episode of Joy and Happiness on Land Talk. I hope everybody enjoyed it. Go team! Go team! Go team! Go team!