Episode 2

All right, I'm rolling. Oh yeah, if Hunter has to read this big, she cannot be wasted like she was the last episode. It's nice. Shut up. Okay, well, they can all go to hell then. That is really fucked up. Like, fig writers, they don't get paid, they write what they love, why are people making fun of it like this? Oh yeah, we're going straight clubbing. We're going straight clubbing. So, this one we're calling Pussyfootin'. Yes, Pussyfootin'. And it's just any whiskey, it's any whiskey that you want. I have this, I have no idea what the fuck it is, it's some kind of peanut butter bourbon whiskey, yeah. And Coke, but I have Coke Zero, but Coke. So yeah, straight clubbing. I mean, we're still going back for me. Are we? Like, a month ago. A month ago. Here we are. I mean, so, we're gonna start with a fake this time. And Hunter's gonna read it. Yeah, okay. So, I don't want to butcher this person's, like, username. So, we're just gonna link it. Yeah. I'm just gonna link it. We're just gonna link it. Because it's, it's something. And then, so this, this author, yeah, author. She, or he, I'm not sure. Well, they, or they. Alright, now I know I can't have a cat in here. They wrote the entire fic in Spanish and in English. So, that's actually pretty cool, if you think about it. Um, I'm not even gonna try. I took Spanish in high school for, like, a year, that's what it. I probably should have taken French with my background, with all of my family being French, but, you know. Okay. So, I'm gonna start. Okay. It's called Twister. It's a fun one. It had started out like any other afternoon. Well, not really. It had started as an afternoon of games, bringing the Stable family and the Benson family together. Now, Olivia couldn't have regretted her decision more. At first, she had thought it was going to be awkward. It was the first time the Stable children would meet her son, Noah. But it was not. They fit right in, as if a Benson would always fit in with a Stabler. First of all, let me stop. That line took me. That line got me. As if a Benson would always fit with a Stabler. Anyway. Yeah. It just always fits. Their names just go together. She had been happy, but also very afraid. She couldn't lose them again. She couldn't bear it. The evening went well. They had talked, laughed, eaten, and played cards and a couple of other board games. However, it all got complicated when Kathleen brought out a new game. Twister. Olivia thought only the younger ones would play. But at her son's excited smile, she couldn't resist. And here she was now, in a position that would be more appropriate for the live of 20 years ago. Next to her, intertwined, were Noah, Eli, and Elliot Stabler. Kathleen was still giving the instructions. That. Right hand to blue. Stabler quickly changed positions, and all that Kathleen could think was when he had become so flexible. Eli. Left foot red. She continued to give instructions. The teenagers smiled in amusement. He was already in that position, so he didn't have to move. Lucky him, thought Olivia. Noah. Left hand to green. The little boy, with great flexibility due to his age and dancing, didn't take long to change positions either. Liv. Right foot to red, too. Olivia watched inside when she saw that she had to switch her foot from one end of the set to the other. She tried. She really did. But as she was on three footholds and turned to the completely different side from where she was, she couldn't take it anymore and fell, taking the rest with her. Great groans, screams, and laughter ensued. Everyone was having fun at the expense of Olivia's fall. She had been eliminated, and she sighed in relief. You know what? She asked no one in particular. I'm too old to do this. She said. And spilled on the floor, which made everyone else laugh even louder than before. So good. It's so cute. I actually love the game Twister. I'm... Oh, is it not, like, in New Zealand? Did you even have a childhood? Did you even have a childhood? Did you even have a childhood? Yeah, Monopoly, Monopoly is, yeah. That shit is ride or die. I have a law and order when I think. Now that I'm thinking about it. Do I? Yeah. No. No. I might have it. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, Twister was always... Keep going. Of course you did. Of course you did. I mean, how's the coloring book coming along? It's gonna take, like, ten years. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. You could always use your sketches that you have to put them in the coloring book. Yeah, probably. But, anyway, Twister, that was really fun. Really good. I love that game. I'm not great at it, but I love it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like... I can picture, like, Noah just, like, I can picture Noah just, like, Like... I can picture, like, Noah just, like, trying... Or Elliot just trying to bump his butt against someone to try to make them, you know, fall. Yeah. It really would be. It really would be. I love that. Anyway, how did I do? I think I did good. I think I did good. She's gonna put, like, the most fuckin' smutty-ass shit in there. Mhm. Yeah, you need to read that one. We'll try, guys, we'll try. We'll try. I watched this last night. Mhm. Alright, girls, start us off. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Ugh, the Protect Elliot is so near and dear to my heart. Oh my gosh. Like... And then, it's, like, the munket. He calls her munket. In this episode? Come on. Come on. Come on. Come the fuck on, man. Like, where did you even, like, how did they even come up with that? That's what I wanna know. Munket. And she's, like... It just, it makes me, like, I see the way that they are now, and I'm, like, they're, I feel like they're probably more conscious of not being so close together all the time. Because in season one, they are, like, they are, like, inseparable. Like, talking to each other like this. I don't know, but I'm, like, I'm looking at these suits that she's wearing, and I'm, I'm just, like, man. She looks good in a suit. Like, the high-waisted, yeah, the high-waisted, the white shirt. Ugh. My God. Mm-hmm. Yep. You might as well at this point. It's just... I, I don't know. I, it's just, they, they need to fuck. That's all, that's, like, all I can think about whenever I see them. I'm just, like, Mariska looks good. Elliot, his voice is so fucking hot. And then I'm just, like, they need to fuck. Why, why didn't they? Why didn't they? Yes! Yes! Yes, because that, that pilot thing that came out. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. And I'm also, like, I'm seeing a lot of Kathy in these episodes, and I'm just, like, I don't, like, I, I, it, it hurts the soul, I'm not gonna lie. And then he's, like, the turtle is in this episode, like, the garbage disposal one. Yeah. And so I'm, like, man, Elliot being, like, a manly man. Ugh, my God. Fixing the garbage disposal. Mm. But I think, weren't we talking about, like, I wonder if she went, like, over to his house a lot? Yes. And I'm, like, in this episode I feel like she has because she just talks so casually about them together, you know what I'm saying? Because she was, like, she just, the way she says they're, like, Elliot's with Kathy and the kids, I'm, like, she has to have, like, some kind of personal connection with all of them already. Yeah. Dude, Kathy, she took one look at her and she was, like, you need to transfer. And Elliot was, like, no, I've been in this unit for, like, four years, I'm not transferring out just because you don't like my new partner, bitch. Thank you. I don't know, but for them to have four kids in season one is kind of wild to me. Oof. They're old? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it's so cool, this might be controversial, I don't know, but I think it's so cool how the same actor that plays Dickie in season one plays him still to this day whenever he gets called, which is, like, once every, like, three years, you know? But I think it's cool as fuck. They do need to pull his family out more often, but we're talking about season one here. Oh, I know, she's the goat. She's the goat saver, for real. Yeah. Um... What else? Mhm. Kragan needs to come back. I fucking love Kragan and Olivia's relationship and friendship and... Like, they did such a good job with it. And he's, like, he's still a hardass in season one. Like, on them. Like, he must have known. You think he knew? Back then? Oh, yeah. Mhm. I know. Mhm. Oh... Oh, yeah. I don't think it was a conscious thing, but I'm glad they kept that fucking take in there, let me tell you that. Mhm. I mean, they're still fucking going around, so... It is true. And every person in my life has asked me, and I'm just like, you know, they could be here, they could know. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you can see it, and then you also can't, you know what I'm saying? I think I'm in the same boat. I think I'm in the same boat. It's not surprising, yeah. Like, anyone can see it, you know what I'm saying? But, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I agree. What else happened in this episode? I watched this, like, half tipsy, so I'm, like, trying to remember. Cause, like... Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Whenever, girl, the panic I felt last night, whenever I was watching this, and he was unbuttoning his shirt with, like, one button, I'm, like, oh, my God, why is she so lucky? Why does she get to have this? I don't understand. Oh, my God. Please? Oh, my... Can you imagine... Imagine a season... A 60... What is he? Like, 62? He's 62 right now? Or 61? Is he? Okay. Imagine a 62-year-old Christopher Meloni doing that again. Like, oh, my God. He is. Yeah, he is. We're gonna get it. I'm holding out hope we're gonna get it. I am the one with the most fuckin' positive energy on this shit. Like, we are gonna get it. It's gonna be great. I don't know exactly what we're gonna get. You don't think it's gonna happen? It's gonna happen? Girl. Girl. There is... There is no way they can get away with not making it happen. There is no way. No. No. No. I don't think that... Mariska Hargitay said she is not leaving this show until she makes out with Christopher Meloni. I don't care. It is gonna happen. Yeah. She said on the show, so I'm guessing that means on screen. I mean, she's the captain of this ship. She's the one that's always saying that they're deeply, madly, hopelessly in love, so... Miss... I don't think she's... Has she ever taken it back? She probably was. Oh, yeah, it was. Oh, you mean like... You mean like Hortus Cortus? Like... I mean, I really think she probably was, like, tipsy, you know? I love Drew. Okay. Anyway. Oh, my gosh. She is like childhood royalty to me. I've never watched it. I know her from ever after the Cinderella story. Different generations. I don't know. Oh, I'll watch it. Yeah, I'll watch it. Okay. Oh, mm. Yes, yes, yes, yes. At the news room thing, wherever they fucking went. Oh, my gosh. I was like... I was like... In season one, I'm realizing that all these people would tell her that she looked, like, super fine and super hot, you know, in their own little way or whatever. And I'm just like, why don't they do that now? Like, I need them to do that now. Well, yeah, but, like, not in front of Elliot, though. I need them to do it in front of Elliot. I know he knows, but, like, I needed... That's it. And that dude was like... Oh, wait. What? And that dude was, like, in sundowns, so... I mean, I don't know if it really counted as much, but, you know. It counted for the show. It's fine. I'm sure she loved it. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. My daughter also never heard that. Okay. You want us to meet who? Yeah, Edgar... I can't think of his last name. I know you're saying this because Kenny was on that episode. Yes. Yes, because they had to make him into a fucking defense attorney. I'm like, why? Mm-hmm. I know. Dude, and when I'm talking about beautiful, we mean beautiful. Like, God took his time... God took his time with Brickbox. Let me just say that right now. Like... Mm-hmm. I would... Now that you say that, I'd actually kind of like to see them, like, side by side, just to see the difference. Yes! Because, like, yeah, his hands, like, his hands are, like, fucking, like, twice the size of mine. Okay. Anyway, we're talking about 2.0. That's all good. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. Like, Detective Benson and I, like, this is my partner, Detective Benson. Oh, my God. Who can blame him, though? Who can blame him? What? What? Positive? Positive or negative? Okay. Oh, yeah. Do you think she's, like, upset that he's still a detective? Haha. Not upset, by any means, but... Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. But also, you have to think, Munch didn't become a sergeant until when? Yeah. Yeah. True. True, they have to say detectives to be partners, which, I don't get that, though, because detectives and sergeants can be... ...partners. Yeah, I know. I love them together. Oh, my gosh. Like, I know this is an EO podcast, but they are, like, the greatest. Like, they are the best. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I miss all his conspiracy theories. My- One of the lines that has always stuck with me, I don't remember what episode it is, but I know it's in season one. It's his famous, like, I don't want to just rain on your parade, I want to blow up all the floats. Like, come on. Come on. Yeah. I'm actually gonna, like, put more of this in here. Oh, yeah. It is, it is my, it is, it's... Let's not give these people, like, let's not give our days away. Oh, my god. They're listening to this on Thursday. It's gonna confuse them. Oh, yeah. Love that, actually. I don't- I'm confused on the autograph situation, though. Like, what is that? Is it just for autographs? Like, are they- I need more, like, clarification. Like, are they selling them to pay for, like, wages of the writers? Or are they using it for that? Or, you know? Yeah. I don't know, but all I notice are, like, men, and I'm just like, you see, this is why women are kind of superior, because we don't do this shit, so. Sorry, if you're a man, yeah, sorry if you're a man listening to this, but, you know, not all men are bad, I promise. Yeah. But... She's so nice. Like, she's not gonna tell him no. But, also, I hear... Yeah. Daddy, will you hold this? Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I'm like, okay, so it's not so, like, out of context that she said that, Sam, obviously, because whenever your parents do call each other mom and dad. But the fact that she just said that, like, on the streets without any kids around, it's just kind of like, whoa, okay. What do you mean, what video is this? Are you not- Have you- You haven't watched the video? Oh, my god. I need you to, like, watch it whenever this is done, because, girl. She goes, daddy, will you hold this? Like, daddy, can you hold that? Or something like that. She hands something off the camera. It was- I think it was right before, um, the part where she's like, whoa, that's, like, in my face, baby, or something like that. It's right before that. Girl. She says- She says, daddy, in one of these videos. And I'm jealous that she's not calling me daddy. Anyway, okay. Oh, yeah, you should have seen. Oh, yeah, you should have seen. Oh, yeah, the whole T.O. was, like, in ruins because of this. Yeah, I don't know who the fuck you're following, because, uh, I follow all gray people. Yeah. Yeah. We'll send it to you. I'm sure somebody will send it to you. Probably. Probably. Can I just say, it is- it is so weird that I, like, I go to sleep and then, like, I don't talk to you until, like, 1 p.m. the next day. Because I'm like, okay, so I sleep and then it's her turn to sleep. Like, it's a mental- it's a mental Olympics to try to remember where your schedule is at. Yeah, and I'll, like, send her a message and then she, like, responds, like, ten hours later. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah. She's two hours ahead of you, so that means she's, like, twenty hours ahead of me? Like, oh my god, there's people living in the future? Okay, well, then, yeah, two hours behind you. Girl, get your shit together. Yeah. Yeah, well, I like- I like to do the mental Olympics. It keeps my- it keeps me- it keeps my brain thinking. Yeah, but, like, I cannot, like, begin to even tell you how many times a day I have to be like, okay, it's 5 a.m. for her right now. It's noon for me, but it's 5 a.m. the next day for her. Because you're like, yeah, tomorrow I've got this. And I'm like, okay, so tomorrow is, like, two days from me. Like, it's- it's rough, man. But I probably should just, you know. I'm gonna do my best. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay. Ow. Are you gonna- Re-uh, answer questions. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mine's a- mine too. Mine too. Mine too. It's still called Twitter, but the logo is X. Like, they haven't changed the stuff yet. I feel like- I can imagine Elon, like, blocking the word Twitter, and anybody that tweets it is gonna get, like, suspended or something. Yeah. Yeah. Have you- have you- have you gotten the limit since that day? Yeah, me either. It was a ploy. It was a ploy- it was a ploy to get us all outside. Touch some grass. I'm gonna need you to please stop. Like, he normally does so good. I don't understand. Yeah, my cat is, like, fucking everything up over here. I just wanted a lap cat for this episode, and he is ruining the whole thing. No. I- I love her. Or him. I don't know. I'm not sure, but they. I love them. Okay. As in, like, actually, like, yeah, gotten together? Season 8, obviously. Well, hold on. Let me think about this. Yeah, she was kind of. She was kind of mad in season 8. Yeah, she was kind of mad in season 8. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, like, sorry to, you know, the actor that gets employed for playing Eli, but, you know. Mhm. Yep. Mhm. Yep. Mhm. I- I- I think people that want them together in season 8 just want to see them, like, hate fuck each other. Yeah, me too, but, you know. That's, like, one of the best, you know, but. I mean, like, divorce AU? Divorce AU? I mean, that one. I mean. Yep. Yeah, because 9, he had the paternity where he was like, he'd been a great mom. And then 10, they had the astronaut one, and he had been like, yo, look, I need to call Petition. Yeah. I'm sorry if this was, like, spotty because of him. Never again. Oh. Yeah, for real. Um. Let me, I'm re-situating myself. So, I watched the episode Doubt today, also. Like, right before this, so it's, like, fresh in my brain. And it's the one where, it's the one where, um. Why am I, why am I. Anyway, it's the one where Olivia finds out that Kathy left him and stuff like that. So, if my, and it's season, what, 6? Season 5? Season 6? I can't even remember. Season 5? 6? It's, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would have to say, like, either 6 or 7. Because, I mean, 7, you have fault. And that's a monumental one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I think she came to terms with it in fault. I think they both did. Yeah. Like, in the seasons that we're doing now. Let me not talk about that. Because I can, there's just a whole crap thing of worms that I can just get into. But, and I'm sure y'all seen it. I'm sure y'all see it on my video all the time. Because I cannot stop watching. Anyways. But, yeah. I mean, I kind of, I kind of agree. I kind of agree. I just, it's, I'm put on the spot, okay? Like. Yeah. It's all good. That's what we're here for, though. That's what we're here for. Yeah, season 9 and 10. Season 9 and 10 is probably good. Probably, I would say probably 10 more than 9. Just because it seemed like she was still going through a lot of shit in 9. Like, with that. Yeah, with undercover. And then she had that chick, like, shoot, pew-pew herself in front of her. You know? I don't want to trigger anybody, I'm sorry. But, you know. Have you never, like, heard that in person before or something? It's just funny, yeah? She went pew-pew. She pew-pewed herself. Yeah. Oh my god. Well, anyway. So yeah, she was going through a lot in season 9. And it was all, like, in one, like, in the same... It was all relatively around the same time. Around the same time. Yes! Oh my god. I can literally shoot Elliot's penis off sometimes. I swear to god. Like, if it... If me shooting it off in season, you know, 8, 7, wherever he went back to Cali. If me shooting it off meant that he could regrow it back later on and you use it now, I would do it. Because, dude, like... He thinks, he thinks, like... God, anyway. Yeah. Okay. I don't like any of them. Okay, um... What else? Yeah. Oh, okay, so... Dan's line actually put a lot of questions in here. So who do you think is going to win the bet when EO finally gets together? Yeah, I was going to say Finn too, I think. Like, Finn seems to be rooting for them the most. To try to push them together? Yeah. Yes. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, and I think Munch is in on this bet too and he doesn't think that they will ever get together. He's kind of like you. And Finn's like me. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, but who's to say they don't lie, you know what I'm saying? Like... I'm what? It's fine, it's all good. Okay. David, yeah. Yeah, the lady can't kiss and tell, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, she must have had like an extra pep in her sip or something. I liked David Hayden, I'm sorry. I know some people don't, but I liked him. Yeah, I thought he was a good guy, so I was like, okay, he's not like a criminal or anything, so it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Don't bring him up. He's a sore spot in the fandom. Yeah, look, I will rant about it, but, I mean... Okay, do you want to answer one more? You pick the next one. Probably skips. I'm liking all the ones that we do, by the way. So it can help us out a little bit. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, it was fucking genius. Genius! And then also the fact that it came out like a couple weeks, if not the same week that I was also in Vegas, I was like, oh my god, I'm living this shit, I'm living. I'm like, I'm here, I'm here where Elliot and Olivia are in this big, like, whoa. You know, future's palace, whoa, bitch. Yeah, I know. I was going to say, at the time, was I? Yeah, I was. Oh my gosh, okay. I probably should have thought about some of this shit before I did this. If I can pitch an undercover story. I'm going to be so generic, but I want, like, another bombshell. I want an updated version of bombshell, I'm sorry. Maybe. Is it? I'm really behind on fic, I'm not going to lie. I'm really behind. But also, my preference for fic is like 3.0. Like, I don't know why, I just like the canon aspect of it and the fact that it probably maybe could happen, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I like visualizing them the way they are now because it's how it happens. It's canon, you know what I'm saying? I think that's why I might not... I don't know. I'm really behind on fic, though. Especially skivs fics. I say skivs fics. I know. Her and Leah, I'm just like, who the fuck has time to be writing these, like, 10,000 fucking chapter... Episodes, not episodes. Things every... Six chapters, oh my god. Can you tell? Can you tell? Jesus Christ. I mean, I didn't finish glass one, but I added a lot more alcohol this time around and there's no ice in this one. But, I'm obsessed with skivs. I actually... It's so funny because skivs to me is like this huge celebrity. Now, I don't want to say celebrity because obviously that's going to cause some rifts, maybe. I don't know, but she's just like a really important fic writer in this fandom. Is that okay to say? Like a really big one, a well-known one. And every time I'm, like, talking to this person, I'm just like, oh my god. I'm talking to skivs. I'm talking to skivs. Like, I do mental olympics in my head. I'm just like, ahh. Same with you, though. So, it's kind of just wild. It's kind of wild. I feel a lot... I feel this way about a lot of people on Twitter. I know, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know. This way they're untouchable almost, but they're also not. They're very, like... Here you go. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. I know. It's been almost a year. I mean, we found her in September for the Emmys. Well, I mean, no. I think we found her, actually. She saw the video, and then she was like, who the fuck is this? Are they married? And then, you know, all of us were, like, looking at the quote tweets on this. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, welcome to the fandom, huh? They're like this all the time. And here we are. Yeah. So great. Something. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, once we got, like, all this shit down pat, oh, yeah. It's on. Oh, yeah, like, I have all my shit up right now. I got my phone charging. We're on a fucking roll, this podcast. I'm just saying that right now. Yeah. That's very Tosh. That's very Tosh of you. The ex- No, the ex in the book. Because isn't your other YouTube, like, what the fuck, with an ex on it or something? Oh. My bad. Yeah, I mean, we have to. I mean, we have to. We should probably do this at, like, the beginning. Yeah. I mean, no, but also, yeah, also, like, no, but yes, you know? Like, you can follow us at LetYellFuckWithoutTheU in book. Everywhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For what? Wait, I'll tell you this whole thing right now if you want me to. Oh, wait, no, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Okay. I might throw up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. Yes, we'll see you next Monday. Yeoman. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Okay, we'll see you next Monday. Yeoman. You know, the culty. Oh, my God. That really upset my stomach, actually. Why did I do that? Bye. Holy shit. I know. What is wrong with me? Okay.