trina's project

This transcription is about a community health professional conducting an interview on the topic of family and aging. The interviewee discusses their definition of family, the importance of support and love within family, and the different levels of family connections. They also talk about their perspective on their own aging parents and the wisdom they gained from them. Overall, the interviewee emphasizes the significance of family in their life. So Milestone 1, as a community health professional, you will interact with many people within your community. So first of all, this course is Perspectives in Aging. So this is, as a community health, and I'm going to school for a community health educator. As a community health professional, you will interact with many people within the community. These interactions may be with a group or individual setting. In this activity, you will have the opportunity to interact with an individual member of an aging population. For this milestone, you will conduct an interview. And you will submit a summary of the primary health concerns identified for your interview. The summary will serve as a starting point for my draft. So the bullet points that I have to do is obtain the consent, obviously, and it says, in your interview experience, in a few sentences, so this is what I have to do after we talk, like, in a few sentences, how was your interview, information sharing, and stuff like that. But that, so this is what my overview is that I have to do with facial feeling. All right, so what you're doing, you're interviewing about my aging and how I age, and... Basically, it's just me getting experience with interacting and talking with an opportunity to interact with an individual member of the aging population. So it's practice for you to interview to get information about, you know, one of your clients and stuff like that. Okay, all right. So I'm going to try to answer as honestly as I could and, you know, we'll see what happens. And, like I said, I will just take it from there. Okay. Go. Because the class is Perspectives and Aging, so I guess it's the different perspectives. Okay. What does family mean to you? Family, for me, means, first of all, a network, THE network, which means anything, anyone I can connect to and tell my deepest and most, you know, most unfound thoughts. And also, the network where I can pull from, which I can, you know, get information and find out about any other, one of the other informations. Family, to me, is support. If I need support, I can go to them and say, hey, I need your help. Family, to me, is a shoulder, you know. Family, to me, is somebody to bump my head against, to a sounding board. So family, to me, is all these things that I need to pretty much survive. Ultimately, I think family, to me, is unconditional agape love where, you know, no matter what I say, what I do, whatever I do, or whatever they do, you know, it doesn't matter. You know, it's still there, it's still love, and I'm down, they're down with me, and I'm down with them. Do you consider, though, is this considered just blood only? Do you believe that family, to be considered family, they have to be of blood? They have to share your DNA? No, I, family, to me, for me, I think it comes in phases. There is certain levels. There's a level, there's the blood family, the immediate family, of course, and then there's this family which comes through experiences. The second level comes through experiences, family that I've grown up with and I know I've interacted with as I've grown up, and I know them, and I know, you know, and they know me, and pretty much that's the second level, and then there's also another level where it's family who is family by blood or by relation, but yet I don't really know, but yet, you know, in a pinch, I can, you know, call on them and ask. It's not about asking. It's just a family who I know is there, and they, people are shut down with me, and I'm down with them. Uh-huh. Um, what's your definition of family? What would your, how would you, what would your definition be if you were to put it in a, in a representative scenario? Okay, my definition of family is those who know you, that you can rely on. Those close to you who have a relationship with you and know your being, and you know their being, and can relate as such, and have that agape love. Okay. Um, I already asked you that. What do you consider family, and are they strictly represented by relatives? I know. Um, let's see. What do you know about your family? What I know about my family is that, my immediate family, I would tell you that, um, that we love hard, but we tend not to show, you know. We would say we're down with them, but not, I mean, but won't react until it's absolutely necessary. So, we are a family of the last resort, so far as that goes. But, as far as love, we, the love is there. We all, um, nobody puts anybody else down. I mean, we talk about each other like a dog. But, you know, and then, we, um. So, you're happy with that? Huh? So, you have each other's back? Yes, exactly, exactly. As far as, hmm, as far as family, um, growing up, what did you know about your parents, or, um, what did you know about, how did your, or, growing up, what did your parents teach you about family? Is this, is this, if you'll excuse me? No, no, no. I mean, uh, growing up, my parents basically defined who was in hierarchy within the family. My parents defined that my Uncle Eddie, uh, uh, my Aunt Lucille, uh, my Uncle Richard, they, these were very important people in my, my Aunt Lucille, who, you know, are very important within the family. And, they defined, they pretty much pointed out the hierarchy, which, these are the people you go to, you know, if you need guidance, or if you need something. And, um, but then, on top of that, yes, and that's what they did. They, they, they pretty much defined the hierarchy of who was most vital, and most, uh, important to our core. The circle? Yeah. That's a good way to put it. Our circle. And then, those who were on our side, those, the hierarchy that was just out that side, that circle, and then the different rooms, you know, yeah. So, that's what my, my, my parents defined is the hierarchy, and, you know, who was most important, who was most reliable, and within the family, too, to get help, or to seek knowledge, or things of that sort. Of course. Yeah. Um, as your, first, as your mom got older, um, what was your perspective of your mom as you, seeing her get older through your life? Yeah. Well, um, you know, Mom was always, uh, she wasn't, she wasn't, you know, highly educated, but she was, she had wisdom. So, Mom, I looked to her for wisdom. She taught me things, you know, that were very important. Um, and as she, as she grew older, you know, she still imparted those things, and I caught up with those things, and, uh, as she got older, I pretty much, I, I, I pretty much, you know, and, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? I, uh, I, you know, I, I pretty much went with her. Yes, Mom. And she told me these things, that she was always told me. And, uh, I mean, uh, humored her. I knew, I knew, you know, I, uh, humored her and was with her on that. But, uh, you know, and, but as she, she got older, it was where we came up almost on the same level. Mm-hmm. But still, there was still words of wisdom that I got from her that, you know, helped me out. Throughout the whole time? Throughout the whole time. So throughout life, she was always giving you wisdom? Yes. There was always a little speck of wisdom that she did, that she would give me, you know, to, uh, you know, help me make decisions and, uh, you know, as she got older and stuff, then at that point, I was, uh, I was supporting her, you know, and reminding her. Mm-hmm. And, you know, that was okay, too. Reminding her? Reminding her, and she would come up and remember, and we'd agree on it, and we'd laugh. Okay. Okay, so basically, you would just give her a nudge, and then she'd be like, oh, okay. Even as she starts to get things? Okay, well, and... Or, prior to... Well, I know that when a person has dementia, it's very hard because they can't control what they remember, what they don't remember. Yeah. And sometimes it's frustrating. Was she always, like, did she ever seem like she was just, like, worried, or, like, how did she seem? She seemed like she was pretty much regrettable. And there were times when she would accept the fact that she wouldn't remember stuff. And there was also times when she said, no, no, I know this is the way it is. You know? Which, you know, part of the time, part of the time was not the way it was, but what we would do, we would humor her and try to say, mom, that's not how it was. And then somehow we would try to change the subject. I always remember her like, oh, I don't know. Like, I always picture her as always being like, well, I don't know, next subject. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she was like, well, you know, I don't know. Yeah. So, I don't know. She never gave me the impression that she hadn't worried me. No, I don't think she did. I don't really, I don't think she did have any worry. You know, and I think I think she didn't have any worry because she knew she had us. Right. Yeah. Because we had all of you guys. Yeah, she had us. She would just be within us. Yeah. Okay. Name one person who was the most influential on you as you were growing up. Me? The most influential? It was my dad. It was my dad because he was hard working. He was working and he went to work came home and I think the one thing that most impressed me about my dad is that he'd go to work he'd come home and chill and he'd sit down and read. And that impressed me. So, he liked to read. She liked to read. She had many books and we read a lot. And yeah. Cool. I didn't know that. That's good to know. Yeah, yeah. Jerry will tell you he read a couple of those books about, I think he made a couple of movies about the stuff that he he wrote. Would he tell you about the books and stuff? No. He read them for it because he really enjoyed them. Yes, exactly. Mostly action or intrigue or espionage that type of stuff he read. He was somewhat active. He was somewhat active, I think. Yeah. So, he had friends, too, right? Oh, yeah. He had plenty of friends. He had plenty of friends. He had a wedding and domes that cow goes bad. Anyway, cow goes bad. Cow goes bad. They had a crew. They had a crew. They used to work at the shipyard and other places and stuff. So, instead of coming home and watching TV he came home and just read. Yeah. When he wasn't killing the cows. Yeah. Okay. If you could pass on some life advice what would it be? If I could pass on some life advice to my young or people coming up is that education is very important. As they say, education is the new currency. Education is the new money. Education is people's money. So, that's a good question. I kind of like that question because from experience a lot of for instance, my kids who started college and then stopped a lot of the generation now are more the more they're different. Some of them don't believe in school or education. They're just a lot different than my generation and even your generation. When I say education, I don't mean I don't really mean particularly college or certain traditional colleges. You can learn how to write codes and that's what I instilled in my grandson. He still hasn't taken any of it. You can write codes. You can be a technician. You can be a master mechanic. A lot of people prefer it to just really mean a lot of self-taught Not so much self-taught but not to traditional colleges. You can be a technician. You can be a technician. Like I said, engineers or things like that. It's just an adjective. It all comes down to educating yourself and having knowledge in a specific field and what I would say is to master what you feel your interest. You find your interest and you master that. Make that your superpower. Tiffany, what are you doing over there? Can you not get on the bike? Okay. Describe yourself at 30 years old. At 30 years old I was in the military. Before I went into the military before I was 30 years old I think when I was about 25 years old I told myself that I would buy a house by the time I'm 30 and that I achieved that. At 30 I was in the military and I was on my way to a career in the military and I chose that path rather than going into college and I had planned on making it a career so I remember distinctly at 30 I think I was 29 30, 31 when I bought that house so I achieved that goal of buying the house at 30 and I got married at 12, the second marriage at 28 and I was pretty much at 30 I was at a good place I was in the military traveling back and forth Fort Hood Fort Knox Fort Kentucky I had a wife and a child and everything was good until yeah, everything was good until I had a downfall that's when it was good so the time that you were traveling I was younger so obviously I don't remember traveling when we lived in Texas whatever what are most memorable about those times when you were in the army me and Mark probably don't remember but what do you remember most about those well I mean I remember yes when you came out to Texas we came out to Texas and we had a little small one bedroom apartment and things were pretty good we had a little nice neighborhood because it was in a complex like a horseshoe with the apartments all around and Joyce had friends she had friends 3, 4 friends all up in there everybody was friends really and you know and it was pretty good there was really no mishap except for a couple of times when there was a misunderstanding and we just lost track of you one time me? yeah I put this on tape there was a time you had your best friend I'm trying to remember her name y'all y'all was like that you were tight for her you don't remember that back in the complex in Texas you and the little dark skinned girl yeah and you used to always go over to her house and she used to always come over but there was one time where she couldn't find you for some reason running around the neighborhood where you at, where you at and you was in this one guy's house and we don't know what was going on because we were, everybody was out hollering your name and everything but she was in there she did not come out and this was this one guy and he lived he didn't live alone he had a girlfriend but he didn't come out and we were really suspicious about what exactly happened to him and we didn't say anything so you know we pretty much ostracized this guy totally because we just didn't know maybe he was friendly he was in there having a sandwich you know how I got in there well yeah you don't know how you got in there the main thing was we was, everybody was out there hollering your name but yet you didn't come out or he didn't let you out until you know after about 45 minutes or so and then finally you came out and we told you you were there the guy didn't come out with me? no he didn't and we dogged him maybe there's so many we can say so many you know what I mean yeah but other than that there was a neighborhood and stuff and you had I can't remember her name but you guys was like tight what did you take from that situation? what? like that realization or something like that happening or anything creepy did you take anything from that situation? well yes that really hit me hard it made me realize that I had to watch my child every second every second and not take anybody not trust anybody you know not take anybody not trust anybody or not be on my guard at all times which was a bad thing but I mean I guess that situation which was sad you know you wanted to be you can trust everybody but that hardened me a little bit kind of like a wake up everything's not always right and there were some deranged people in this place in this world there was a lot happening back then too I like to watch a lot of documentaries like there was a lot of things happening to people back then mom mom yeah yeah nope I had no idea yeah that's what happened you know what was she saying was she freaking out she was right there with me we was on that ball too we was balling why is she there why didn't you say something what the hell you know we was really both pissed off I mean they actually I mean he actually moved out really was he a younger or older person he was older than us he was older than us he was older he had a girlfriend she didn't stay there but she came a lot yeah it was his apartment wow yeah yeah we was there for a while and then we moved back here yeah and then she came back out again yeah came back out but yeah I don't I don't remember anything but your mom got she got she got homesick she wanted to come back yeah they had an apartment and stuff what did she want to come back for the family I guess she didn't want to be there hmm so I sent her back and yeah I sent her back and I don't know what happened when she came back when she came back there's tons of rumors and shit like that but you know but yeah and then I came back and we came back and we was in Manton and stuff yeah hmm I don't remember you remember Manton I do remember Manton yeah I remember Manton briefly as far as back I can remember it's Ohio Avenue Ohio Avenue yeah and I remember going to kindergarten and then it's like sudden like first but yeah Ohio Avenue yeah um let's see um what was um um what was the atmosphere like when you were younger like like your like the surroundings like the culture like first there's like the culture now like how long um before right around the time that you were going into no just saying high school or high school I think as far as my stint in school middle school high school yeah middle school and high school like how was the culture when I say culture I mean um like your community like surroundings what was the atmosphere like when I was in middle school I was in George J West uh middle school you know how they talk about woke now yeah I hear that you don't know what it is well I do and I say I know what it means because I didn't realize I didn't I didn't become woke until maybe symphony when I first had symphony and because no honestly honestly I wasn't I was I didn't or maybe I was like blind to the surroundings and the environment for instance for my the coast area for instance when I lived in so I always hear I would always hear my friends man I didn't get that job because I'm black or you know what I mean and to me it didn't ever feel like I was affected to me it didn't feel like it affected me none of that ever mattered don't know what can happen it was just like oh they're exaggerating you know what I mean that's how I felt and so when we lived in Boatsport apartment and this was like right around the first beginning of the pandemic and Connie she was like being a pocket spot and like there was like certain things that happened there like and then I was like wow okay so I think that's when you started to realize that there are people who there are people who are not melanated who just just don't you know just resent you yeah resent your existence and I feel like a lot of times it's done unconsciously I feel like I feel like those situations were done unconsciously like they didn't realize what they were doing well what it is yes it is exactly what it's called is it's called cultural conditioning the culture has conditioned them to think that they are superior we are inferior yes so that's what it kind of was like oh this is for people who live here only like we belong there too like you know what I mean so that's when that's the culture it is now what was the culture and the surroundings like when you were born well and when I became old that is pretty much when I was in middle school in the projects there was a group an activist group that would go around spray painting APWW this was during the civil rights civil rights era when I was 7 or 8 years old and they would go around the black people's party which was called in our area and they would go around you see all around the project APWW action power wisdom and something else but there was also a library which we called the black library they had somehow gotten an apartment in the projects where we would go and do crafts and things like that and they would pretty much teach us about black history and African history and things like that I wouldn't say indoctrinate us but just teach us about the history and about you know important things that happened and I think that's when I became old and from that time you know I've always had an eye and ear on things that were happening within the community and in the nation as far as what happened to Boston and stuff like that and the atmosphere at that time shoot it was a lot like it is right now I mean it went down and now it's back up yeah it went down and now it's back up because the you know the powers that be they they're trying to suppress our progression they're trying to stop the progression and keep us down any way they can and we're starting to see we're starting to get more power and everything but anyway back then shoot I remember one instance when my mom she used to take us you know me it was one situation where it was intimate that we always did me and my mom we did it like every payday we got paid and we went into a diner and you know this is the only place I've seen where you go to Woolworths you get treated badly at that time I remember Woolworths you get treated badly you try to get on the counter they just follow you around the store stuff like that this guy who owned this diner was really nice to my mom it was a ritual that me and my mom went and every payday for about I'd say about a year we would go there and she would buy me scallops she would buy us scallops, planks stuff like that so that pretty much made me think that not all of you are bad people there are good people there are people who don't think like most of us but you gotta admit being up here is far far worse than what they've been through down south you know we've had our years I remember always many many many times being downtown and you'd walk across the street and white folks in their car first thing they'd do they'd lock their door downtown Providence? they'd see you coming across the street and they would lock their door so they would be afraid yes I'm not quite obviously I'm pretty much up here so it was a lot worse down in downtown? yes and here in Providence I mean we were able to sit at the counter but better man you couldn't sit at the counter they wouldn't allow you to sit you'd go in there and they'd follow you around the store and it was a lot worse I mean I wasn't there when they had the separate malls and shit like that but yeah how was health care like back then? what do you remember about health care back then? what I remember back then is that health care was centralized centralized? centralized where black folks had their health centers they'd put health centers in the hood where everybody went to and you know and that's all I knew I mean anything outside of that I didn't know because mom she only took us to the health center they even put a health center clinic in the project and right there in the areas and stuff so once in a while they had people who looked like us working there so the health care was pretty much it was centralized it was basically centralized because they had you know they had those clinics there and it was all we didn't even want to say mom was on welfare so that's what we had but an important thing to remember too about the area was don't let them don't let them or I want you to remember this and don't let them put it out that they had that area where black men if there was a black man in the house they couldn't get on welfare and the black men they couldn't get the jobs they couldn't get the jobs they couldn't get the jobs they were refused the jobs they were denied the jobs and at the same time the black man was in the home they couldn't get the welfare because it saved the man to work but they couldn't get the jobs so in order for to get money for the household the black man would have to leave the father would have to leave the home so the mother could get the money yeah so that was I forget what they call that area but that was the era when I grew up that yeah that was when I grew up because my dad actually had to leave he was working at Fox packaging CJ Fox and he was getting paid less than doing the same job as the white man but getting paid less and he worked there for a long time but yet when that when they came when they did that because he wasn't making enough to provide for the household so when they came in he had to leave in order for my mom to get the money to provide for the house for the home and and they got separated because of that because they would actually come through and see if there was a black man in the house so they would show up yes they would come and do inspections okay wow I didn't know that yep so it's yes because we lived in the projects and in order to live in the projects there had to be no man either right right oh wow um did Nana do you remember a lot of health care support for like the adults did if Nana needed to go to the doctor so she would be able to go to the clinic basically yeah the community clinic I forget what they call that say hi what's up um do you work tomorrow no no it's Sunday all right so I'm trying to send him a break on my break while he waits your mom needs help in the house financially I need help myself why my dad's not helping me no more what do you gotta pay my phone bill I'm trying to save up for a car oh man you're trying to phone your mom needs help you don't know you don't realize I need a phone do you realize you're a burden I'm not an athlete no more so I'm gonna have to probably pay for school I'm trying to save the most money I can right now I help when I can you say yeah but your mom needs help I understand but but don't notice no but you understand do what you can I am doing what I can not do what your mom is telling me my dad don't do nothing for us it's not about your dad no it's not we're in this predicament because of him yeah well that's you gotta understand that's not the problem it's because of him he's out to pitch in on us right now your mom needs help I'll be back I'm going home Deshawn you have to realize your mom needs you here I'm trying to stay here I need a car to do what I have to do I can't Uber to work everyday I can't you guys always do that you can make you can put something aside and you can do that also how am I supposed to save I make a talk about it save for other stuff right now I'm spending like $300 a week on stuff for me it doesn't exist to do stuff still doesn't get a job it doesn't get a job you gotta do 400 you really do that I order a dozen of food half the time when I don't have work and you're working Deshawn be responsible your mom needs help I'm trying to be responsible like I said I help out where I can help out but also at the end of the day I'm also trying to save up for myself too because Uber which is more important if I get a car which is more important to you the reason why I want a car answer my question no you're not letting me so I can't answer the question if you don't let me which is more important I need a car to get to work so I can be able to give mom more money I need to give mom the most money I can if I'm Ubering to work everyday and then I gotta Uber here I gotta Uber here I can't help mom with her car because I'm using all my money on Uber I barely have money for myself if I gotta do Uber honestly I came more to get to work than Uber and yes you do help me because I'm trying to save the whole point of why we're like this the whole family is like this is because none of us know how to save that's the whole point why we're like this I'm trying to break that by the time I'm 25 I have about 45,000 60,000 saved up in school I can be like alright mom you need help here take 1,000 you need to set your priorities you can't be hanging out with your buddies all the time I'm not hanging out with my buddies I just got back from work I work everyday cool cool cool I do one thing I step up you're always running the streets blah blah blah if I get a job I'm working now it's something new you're not helping out as much my mental health is not that good either I was just living in Florida out of school thinking I'm going to be a D1 athlete I'm back home working figuring out what I want to major in and my dad is blocking me every other day I don't want to help him out with money he's asking for money from you? of course he already owes me 600 because I worked for him cut him off tell him I can't do it I can't cut him off because my dad is a very perceptive person if you cut him off he's going to butt into other people's lives my mother he's going to annoy her and stress her out she's going to snap on everyone in the house so I'd rather just answer the call tell him I don't got it let him cut me off go on about his days just do that I'm trying my best but you have to take care of home you have to take care of home like I said when you get paid just leave a little bit at home whatever you can do I'm dealing with Connie she's fucking great but anyway it seems like it's a pattern what you're dealing with like we have to provide for you constantly you're growing I'm not asking no one to provide for me that's the thing I'm not asking no one to provide for me the most I ask my mom is sometimes to get me food but you gotta realize what you're being here is increasing her what she has to pay out what you're being here an old boy too I barely ask mom for anything besides money I'm saying you're being here is increasing what she has to pay out you an old boy I wish I knew what was going on in my own house right now you wouldn't you wouldn't you couldn't do it but you can't do this if you can't do this you couldn't do it there's nothing for me to do there's never been a time where I've been here and I've been told Dashaun you have to pay rent so there's nothing for me to do that's why what if she did what if she did then I have to do what I have to do but I'm telling you how am I supposed to be used to monthly rent if I never have to pay I already told you that you have to pay half the car I haven't drove the car in two weeks you've been having the car for a symphony I can't take the car because you gotta get her from school I didn't take the car all week besides going to the store we're gonna have to keep a chart now mom we can keep a chart one time I took the car to work this week I can't remember off my head because I didn't he brought me to work every day this week besides those two days you brought me an uber on your point about paying rent if you had to pay rent you would be facing eviction if you didn't pay you realize that right that's why I said you gotta do what you gotta do so that's okay with you getting evicted? yes that's what I'm saying man that's why you should not want to be in that situation all you have to do is just leave some man home maybe once in a while I am but at the same time I'm also trying to build something for me what does he mean? what does he mean? what does he mean? what does he give me? who? that's what I'm saying Deshawn you take care of home man nobody said it's your fault these kids man I don't understand they want a free fucking ride they want a free ride mom the dogs are outside alright can you tell I can put them inside no don't put the people in go ask Deshawn to bring them inside I think I have two more questions and then we are good oh shit hold on hold on we can fucking ask I want to put the dogs inside no you can't because Diva will run off I want to put the dogs inside I'm not going no because no not right now I want the dogs inside well tell Deshawn to bring them inside so you know how what was your perspective also another thing I just talked to you a couple weeks ago telling you how I want to save up for a car and you were all for it because I told you I get to 3,000 Auntie Chanel is going to put 2,000 down for me too Tiffany can you just cut it out please for five seconds stop so at my job making 3,000 can happen in literally a month I get paid weekly the reason why I haven't been getting big checks is because I'm tired and I just can't do morning shifts like that recently I've been on top of my shift and I've been going to work but I'm not good with money no one in this house in this family in general is good with money the only thing we're good at is talking about saving money that's all you've been doing exactly so I'm trying to save up for stuff you need to break the cycle I can't break the cycle right now I'm trying to break the cycle by just breaking the cycle I can't tell you how I can break the cycle right now I really can't I'm going to be honest with you like I said my goal it's got to be action why are you talking do you realize I've never been in this situation that's what you guys are understanding I have been a football player my whole life I didn't have to work I didn't have to pay nobody I didn't have to sit here and wonder what's going to happen with my life I'm a football player not even when I was here last year I was just thinking this man up man up man up but I'm not going to sit here and let everybody keep bashing me nobody's bashing you man we're just trying to give you suggestions not even suggestions if you want to you're not helping I'm helping that's what I'm hearing I'm not helping oh thank you you got it how am I not helping because you're not doing anything at all I'll tell you someone who's not helping my dad's wife's kids that's who's not helping if you guys contact anyone about not helping it's not me well you should be getting on how many times have I cussed him out mom throw his fucking ass out I can't throw him out at the end of the day I can't throw him out because I don't want to see him on the street but I'll tell you one thing when the time comes when my dad's like alright we're coming he needs to go, he's going to go and it's just going to be like that but I always want them to remember what we did for Julius just because I'm proud my mom did this just because I don't have to hear Heather's mouth I took your kids in your mom would never do that for me that's what she used to say to us and look how the world's flipped my mom hasn't called Heather and complained about Julius now one time even when he has done something that pissed her off and she would yell at me I do one thing Julius should be the man and you want him to be Julius isn't going to be what y'all want him to be because he grew up with his mother and even as a 20 year old kicked out of school my dad gave him everything you can do to graduate school paid for $1000 to get him a test he don't want to do it what he wants to do is make change to change week to week and smoke weed that's all he wants to do is he downstairs? no he's not downstairs that's all he wants to do and I tell him bro it's simple to go to school and find a career I try helping him I was there I just tried to text his mom the other day send me that other link too for that medical stuff for Julius so he can get into a career I bring it to him nah I'm going to figure out something when I go back to Florida he don't think like that because his mom babysits him I'll literally play the game and if he'll go to his mom his mom will make me get off the game that's how bad it is so it's like I understand I have to help I'm trying to but I'm trying to also be more independent I'm not trying to have to be able to use mom's car that's why I moved to my own home build I left my dad's home build that'll come in time but what you have to do is make sure the home is taken care of that'll come in time it'll come in time it doesn't have to be quick and fast it'll come in time you gotta take care of home what time? from 7.30 to 2 o'clock that's when I'm tired 7.30 to 2 o'clock oh when I'm at work what time at work? I work all day 9 to 7 9 to 6 I'm about to take a second job that's the normal thing I'm going to be like going to sleep I'm taking a second job I'm just I mean if I had to I would work with you on that I just been putting half of my check into savings putting the other half into whatever I want see that's what I mean you don't have to do that much it doesn't have to be that quickly where you going? I'm gonna go to the store where you going? are you going back to Florida? I don't like Florida at the end of the day I know what's going to happen when I tell my father that I don't like Rhode Island how old are you? I don't like Florida you think Florida's this magical place people get shot at the corner of the street just for standing there with dreads Florida's not the place you guys make it out to be literally three elementary schools just got shot up in Florida this year do you understand that kids out here they will shoot someone over a girl if you like their girlfriend they will think about this as a low populated place now think about Florida about population wise and how many people boys to men ratio and then you got people that exactly it's really racist out there Tiffany I need you to stop the governor is just making it worse Tiffany stop you're going to hurt yourself one day I don't want to go back to Florida what are you saying you want to be here I've already told my mom I want to be here I want to continue working at Bozeman are you willing to go where she wants to go? if you decide you want to go somewhere else what do you mean somewhere else she's told me she don't like it I don't like Rhode Island I would never move to Florida if I was to go anywhere I would go how old are you man you're a grown ass man so you do what you gotta do if she wants to go somewhere else I'd probably do what you gotta do you know why you graduated right you graduated I mean find something where you can get stable where you can get some more education find something home you're going to have to pay rent wherever you go just get in the habit of it that's what I'm saying get in the habit of paying rent with you guys being here I don't know if I could make you guys be successful I don't know if I have what it is I told you this before and I told my dad this before you guys done what you guys had to do I don't have the knowledge I need to know to go build my own success I'm grown now like grandpa said I can't depend on you to try and make me successful but you gotta get used to paying rent okay I understand that but what I'm saying is that's why I want to stay here I want to work at Baughlin me saying I want to work at Baughlin me working at Baughlin is not me saying I want to work at Baughlin the rest of my life I did that because I told you I want to get into car rental services I want that to be my business so as a person with a lot of liability and that error and stuff like that I need to learn how to fix cars they taught me how to fix under a hood in a week next week I start under the car I fix under the car next week I think it's cool man go to Baughlin, get your job, get your raises I already got my raises get your raises set your shit in order man you got plenty of time don't hurry I'm not hurrying it's not me it's my father trying to rush me to do something I don't want to do and he wants your money that you get paid exactly, I'm not rushing I'm not stressing, I'm not rushing I know what I want to do I'm a grown ass man do you not know who my father is I don't give a shit who your father is I don't give a shit who your father is he will come here and fix your ass he would not see me it wouldn't be an ass whooping you better stand up to that mother fucker I stand up to him but I'm not gonna be like that after that he will respect you he will leave you alone you're cutting the spot out of the video because we're recording right we are recording I was doing an interview in school you just butt in my interview I'm going to the store I wish I could put out my train of thought now I just put out my train of thought if that's the case man you just take the ass whooping and go from there I know I'm saying this for sure because I already I already you're gonna have to tell him hey man I already told him there was a time a couple weeks ago a coach called and wanted me to go back to Florida I told him I don't want to play football no more blah blah blah he tried to force me I didn't end up going but I do think Desmond should go back just because Desmond's friends that he's already hanging out with around here aren't good besides Tyler I wish my dad could take Tyler too because I look at Tyler as my brother too but I tell Desmond and Tyler all the time it's just I know how it is because I did the same thing it's not you're not thinking that they're not friends for you you're thinking that my dad would never let Desmond go outside the house in Florida so when Desmond comes here he thinks that as fun time don't take nothing serious it's time to just have fun that's why I want Desmond to go back to Florida because Desmond needs that structure like structure mom won't beat Desmond's ass she won't even try to my dad will beat his ass off rip I already told Desmond he needs to get started in that school thing and honestly dad won't even beat his ass off he'll do the other thing he always does Desmond you really need to focus on school without school and you have nothing I don't like the home school thing huh? I don't like the home school thing I don't either I don't feel like you're learning anything I don't want you to go to Providence I don't want you to go to Providence either no I don't want you to go to Providence either I don't Providence school I don't know Desmond I don't know right now maybe go to Providence high school I don't know I'll have to talk to your dad about it yeah I'm going to try to maybe they'll help me out I'm going to have to do something about this see Connie is another one who makes me feel like a failure Connie all my kids are you notice that all my kids are this generation this generation is too much like a free spirit they're like happy go lucky like la la la Tiffany please stop messing with my figure Mom where did my mom and my dad I don't know