Hricova - interview

Belinda, a native of England, shares her experiences and observations about living in Slovakia. She initially found the lack of color and friendliness in the country quite shocking. Belinda also struggled with the extreme weather and the difficulty of learning the Slovak language. She felt that the doctors in Slovakia treated her poorly during her pregnancy and considered taking legal action against them. However, she appreciated the positive attitude towards children in Slovakia compared to England, where she felt parents were often afraid of their own children. Belinda also discussed her views on the educational system in Slovakia, expressing a preference for a mixture of teaching methods. She noted that there is a cultural difference in how personal topics like money, politics, and religion are discussed in England compared to Slovakia. Belinda also talked about the use of formal and informal address in England and the respect shown towards authority figures. Lastly, she mentioned f So maybe if you could have a brief introduction, what are you comfortable with saying? Okay, so I'm Belinda and I'm a native from England. So when I arrived in Slovakia, which was in the year 2000, I came because of my now husband. And I arrived in January 2000 knowing that everything was completely good and we would live together. My life in Slovakia is very much as part of a married couple, not as a single person. What were your first impressions of Slovakia or Slovak people when you came here? Okay, everyone was wearing black. I couldn't see the shops. I couldn't see them. There was no advertising. There were no lights. Everything was hidden. And people were probably very nice inside. On the street they were quite smart, but yes, they were black or grey. And when I went inside the shop or the post office, I couldn't get anybody to smile at me. And they didn't want to sell their products to me. So that was quite shocking because although it happens in other countries like France and places, you know, but I'd never come across it before, so it was like I was really put off going shopping. When I listened to the Slovak language, I found it very beautiful. But the extremeness of the weather here was difficult for me because coming from England, the weather changes every day. So here it was either really cold or really hot. That was quite difficult for me to manage. I then began to learn Slovak. I realised that it was a language that I was not going to manage easily. My head was literally turning in my classes of Slovak. And I had to stop because I really did get a headache trying to remember all the words. I didn't pick it up until after, when I moved away from Bratislava to Kosice, then I began to speak it again. And I learned it only in the shop and on the street. I basically taught myself Slovak by listening to people. I had my first child here in Bratislava. And that was also a shock because I'm a midwife. And the way the doctors treated me, I felt very arrogant and very frightened. I would never treat my client in that style. So that was a bit upsetting for me. In fact, certain things happened that I considered taking the doctors to the European court because you don't do this. It's both for the health of the woman and also for human rights. It was clear to me that whoever delivered me or whoever taught that person was not in touch with research because their practice on a medical level was of a certain style, which from where I had come from, from England, was many, many, many years ago already finished with. I think also I noticed in this country that the attitude towards children is better here in Slovakia than it is in England. Simply because people are more aware of, they're closer to the idea of what innocence is. They may be very naive in the adult world, but looking after kids, they really know what they're doing. And their understanding that the child, until they're about five years old, is an innocent being, is much better here in Slovakia than it is in England. So I was happy to bring them up here because of this attitude towards children. In fact, in the UK, most people are frightened of their kids. And what it does is it makes them angry, but they don't want to be angry. So they just give freedom to the child instead because they're frightened that they're going to hit them. They're frightened that they're going to scream at them. Basically, they're frightened of the child and how it's going to react to them. The adults know that there's a limit in their own behavior. And in order to control themselves, they give freedom to the child. It's a very subtle difference, which I see in this country, that people are not so frightened of losing their own control in their own behavior. They're able to guide the child, what it should do and what it shouldn't do, without having to face anger. The Slovak mothers, they're better able to look after kids. Yeah, well, there is a different educational system here in Slovakia than in England. Do you have a preferred type? Which one do you prefer? I think I would prefer a mixture of the two. I don't like the idea of somebody who has not researched things, standing up and making the kids learn. Just questions, answers, questions, answers, questions, answers. I think this is very destructive. It's not creative in any way. No, they're killing the child's creativity at a very early age. Exactly. They're killing it at a very early age. It's not encouraged, not only because of the teaching, but also because of what people see around them. So it's an environmental pressure as well to stay within the boundaries of what is accepted within this country, rather than the human boundary of what is correct within the human being. I think that's partly the product of having been through socialism. I also see in education that there was an attitude that I saw in the teachers. When I wanted to be part and parcel of education, like parents, teacher, students, group, PTS, as we call it, which happens in other countries a lot, whereby the parents and the teachers and the students come together and they work out if the teaching is working so the students understand. And I'm used to receiving a report at the end of each semester about how I did in class. So, very nicely written, nothing rude, nothing bad. If I was doing, like for example, my sister got the report in sports, which is very sweetly written, I cannot write a report about this child because every time the ball comes near her, she closes her eyes. I actually received these reports when I was in the primary school. We had a private one, and they had these reports every half a year. And one for computer science. We had this program with the Churchill, and he had to move it somewhere. I didn't understand, I hated the program, but I put it. And in the report he said, I hope the Churchill didn't become the most hated animal for you. Sometimes the reports can be sweet. Yeah, yeah, they can. So, I suppose it depends on the teacher. Last year, in a school here in Slovakia, I wrote to the teachers of my youngest children, asking if I could meet them, just to go through how the classes were, how were they getting on in those subjects. And I received, out of seven or eight topic teachers, I received one answer saying, yes, of course, I'm happy to meet. And I received one answer saying, there's nothing wrong with your children, I don't see any reason to meet. And the rest did not answer at all. I had absolutely no preconceived idea that my children would have done something bad, or I did in no way think that the teacher was bad. I simply wanted to coordinate with them, and to communicate how my kids are doing. Because if there was something that they are not able to do, then it would be my responsibility as a parent to help them correct it. So, this is a slightly different attitude. What other Christians do you know? Are there some traditional Jewish or Catholic Christians in England? And maybe Slovakia and vice versa? There are a lot of taboo things in England. You don't talk about anything personal. In a large group, you don't talk about personal things. And even within the family, you don't talk about personal things as well. So, they're much more chaste, they're much more conservative, much more personal. Like, women do not talk about women's issues in front of their friends. Generally, in the collective. So, discussions that we would never have is money, politics and religion. These are taboo, because it could cause an argument. And nobody ever wants to have an argument with anybody. Talk about money, it would be taboo, because they say it's dirty, it's like cheap. Because it's like beneath human existence. And religion, there are so many different religions in the UK. How do you think English people express their respect towards elders and or authority figures? And if there is any difference between English people and Slovak people? This is a matter of vikenje tikanje, which I would... I keep telling people that vikenje does exist in England. It's simply because of the style and the tone that we use. So, for example, I never even knew the first name of my friend's parents. I never even knew what it was. You know, I would always call them auntie, or I would call them Mrs. So-and-so. But I wouldn't call them by their first name, ever. As I said, I wouldn't even know their first name. So, this is a form of vikenje, which I maintain. The other thing is, I mean, we have omikanye. We have that, and we use it for the kings and the queens. Oh, really? Yeah, because they exist in England. But you retain that respect for them more than just the regular people. Maybe the finishing one. What did you find strange, and if you still find something strange after living here? I don't think I'll ever be used to the idea that elderly people like to be ill. I know what you mean. This concept of complaint, complaining, I think I'll never get used to that. Because for me, it's self-destructive. It's not only destructive to each other. It's also destructive on a collective level. It's destructive, very destructive to yourself, as well. And I don't want to get used to it. Because I know I will end up destroying myself if I allow myself to get used to it. Thank you. I hope it's not too much information. Isn't it? And I hope it's not too negative. No, I think it's perfect. Thank you.