2024.6.18_Embracing Change: A Mother’s Story of Love and Letting Go

The podcast delves into Isaiah 43:2, discussing resilience, faith, and hope. The host shares a personal story about her daughter, Madison, moving to Idaho with her partner in the Air Force. The host reflects on her own journey of starting over and finding strength. She encourages listeners to stay connected, create new traditions, seek support, focus on self-care, and trust in the journey. The host expresses pride in her daughter and acknowledges the bittersweet emotions of parents. She reminds listeners to embrace their emotions and know they are not alone. Welcome to Through Deep Waters, the podcast delving into Isaiah 43-2. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up. The flames will not consume you. Join us as we explore the profound message of resilience, faith, and hope found in the depths of Isaiah's words. Discover how we can navigate life's challenges, emerging stronger and unwavering through the deep waters. So, listener, pour yourself a cup of your favorite brew, sink into a comfy chair, and tune in as we begin the journey together. Welcome to another episode of Through Deep Waters, Brisk Insights. I'm Monique, your host, and I'm here to share stories of insights that resonate with all of us as we navigate the deep waters of life that we all seem to go through. Today I want to talk about a deeply personal experience, one that is both filled with joy and tinged with sadness. It's about my oldest daughter, Madison, and her brave decision to move to Idaho to be with the man that she loves. Madison is 23 years old, and she's dedicated herself to being a nurse. She's worked in a cardiac intensive care unit. She graduated from nursing school a little over a year and a half ago, and since then, she has achieved so much. Recently, she went out and bought herself a brand new car, financing it all on her own, a testament to her independence and her hard work. And now she has secured a new job and an apartment in Boise, Idaho, where she'll be living with Eric. Eric is in the Air Force and is most likely making a career in the military. As a mama, I am so proud of him. When he joined the Air Force, he found his calling. He graduated top of his class and already, after just five short years, has achieved very high ranks in the Air Force. I'm just full of hope that we will be able to go out and see her and that she'll be able to fly home occasionally. And this means a career in the military, that Madison and Eric will be traveling far from Ohio, possibly for the next 10, 15, 20 years. When Madison told me about her decision to move, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I'm incredibly proud of her achievements, and I'm excited for all the adventures that lie ahead of her. And I can't help but feel a deep sense of sadness because I'm going to miss her dearly. As parents, we often find ourselves in these bittersweet moments. We want to celebrate our children's milestone. But we're also grappling with this inevitable changes that they bring. This brings to mind a very comfortable verse that I have for myself. I have a ring that I wear on my left ring finger, and it has this verse on it. And I've had it on for probably about the last, I would say, 15, 16 years. And it's the verse from Jeremiah, Jeremiah 29, 11. And it says, Now, everyone likes to quote that verse, I know. But you have to really dive in deep to that verse and know that this promise that God gave was after 40 years of navigating a barren desert, after living as slaves and God being silent for a very long time. And so this verse has been my life string for a very long time. It's been something that got me through some of the hardest moments in my life, from childhood abuse, divorce, two miscarriages, a dysfunctional workplace, dysfunctional self. It has also been in my heart during times of joy, the birth of my four children, getting connected in a Christian community with other believers, being married to Kurt, and celebrating achievements. So I remember the day that Madison was born like it was yesterday. I was 27, happily married to her dad and ready to start a family. Our relationship was a stark contrast to what I had experienced growing up. For me, I felt like it was a fresh start. It was filled with hope and a whole lot of love. However, life had its own plans. And despite our best efforts, our relationship became unhealthy for both of us. I had not taken the time to heal myself. And I was running from a childhood that had broken me. We decided to divorce when Madison was eight and her younger brother Andrew was six. You'll hear more about him in another episode. These two were my first chance to break the cycle of abuse and hardship. And I had vowed before they were even born, with God's help and his hand, I would work tirelessly day and night to give them a healthier start than what I had. That period after our divorce was probably one of the hardest times in my life. I remember curling up in a ball on the floor of my apartment crying when Madison and Andrew weren't with me. I was on the floor because I literally had nothing. I left our home and everything in it, not wanting to take any part of that life with me. At 35 years old, I was starting over literally from scratch. I became very close to a good friend who is still a good friend of mine named Kelly. She had recently experienced the pain of a divorce that was very toxic. Her daughter and my daughter Madison were in the same class at school. Kelly would show up with coffee and sometimes household items that we needed and we lacked. And she was my rock and I was hers. And that brings to mind a verse from Galatians, Galatians 6 to share each other's burdens. And in this way, obey the law of Christ. We shared each other's burden. No one and still to this day, no one understands my heart the way that she does. And I understand hers in a way that no one else can either. So, Kelly, if you're listening, I'm grateful for you. So starting over wasn't easy. It was it was a journey filled with a lot of challenges and and also self-discovery. And that's when I realized that I didn't really know who I was. My identity had been so tied up in wanting to be a wife and a mother and that I lost sight of myself. And in reality, I didn't even know who I was before we were married. But slowly I began to rebuild. I found strength in my children and my work. And most importantly, I finally found strength in myself. I started to see myself the way God sees me. And Madison and Andrew were my anchors during those turbulent times. Watching them grow and thrive gave me the motivation to keep going. And now seeing Madison ready to spread her wings and embark on this new chapter fills me with so much pride. Her decision to move to Idaho with Eric is a reflection of her own courage and her own independence. A courage and independence that I never knew at 23 years old. It's a reminder that she is her own person, ready to take on the world. And while I will miss her more than any of these words could ever express, I know that this is a wonderful opportunity for her. As parents, our job is to support our children, to guide them, to celebrate their successes. But it's also important to stop and acknowledge our own feelings and to grieve. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to miss them. And it's even okay to worry about what lies ahead for them. Those emotions are natural and they're all part of this journey. The Bible verse that has brought me comfort during times of change is Psalm 46, 10. Be still and know that I am God. This reminds us to find peace in the midst of our turmoil. To trust that there's a greater plan at work. I don't understand the plan always. I don't get it right the first time. Sometimes I don't get it right anytime. But I know that God has a plan. So I wanted to take a little bit of time, for those of you who may be going through some of the same things that I've just spoken about, just to share some actionable tools that have helped me to navigate these deep waters. And they might help you, too, if you're experiencing similar emotions. Stay connected. Even if your loved ones are far away, make it an effort to stay in touch through regular phone calls, FaceTime, even writing letters and sending little gifts to the people that you love. It keeps that bond strong and it eases that sense of distance. And when you do get to spend time together, treasure it and cherish it. Start new traditions. Family dynamics change and they're going to change. Creating new traditions can help. This could be a yearly visit. It could be a special holiday routine. Or even sending them a monthly care package for no reason or some reason. Be sure to seek support. Don't hesitate to reach out to your friends, to your family, to your women's group, men's group, or a counselor, or therapist, or someone so that you can talk about your feelings and you can get an unbiased perspective. Sharing your emotions is incredibly healing. Tip number four is focus on self-care. And that's something that I need to be reminded of often. Take the time to truly invest in yourself. Pick up a new hobby. Continue your education. Or simply just take time to relax. Read a book. Sit outside in the quiet. Spend some time just to yourself. And finally, trust in the journey. Remember that every single change you experience brings new opportunities. So embrace the uncertainty. I have become the queen of leaning in, feeling it, and moving forward. You have to always have faith that things are going to work out exactly as they are supposed to work out. So stay, start, seek, self-care, and trust. Four S's and a T. Stay, start, seek, self-care, and trust. To all the parents out there who might be going through similar experiences, we do these podcasts so that you know you're not alone. Embrace the joy and the sorrow. Embrace the pride and the longing. Because they're real. These emotions are what make us human. They connect us to one another. And they connect us to our children. Madison, if you're listening, I want you to know how proud I am of you. You are strong. You are capable. And you're ready for this next adventure. And I believe in you with all my heart. And even though you'll be miles away, you'll always be close to my heart. And you'll always be in my prayers. So listeners, thank you for joining me on this episode of Through Deep Water's Brisk Insights. Until next time, remember, embrace the journey with all of its twists and turns and cherish every single moment. This is your host, Monique, signing off. As we conclude our journey today, listeners, of Through Deep Waters, let us hold on to the powerful message that was inspired by Isaiah 43-2. I'm Monique, and this is Martha. And we are your hosts as we go through deep waters together. Remember, adventurers, that amidst life's trials and uncertainties, we can trust that God has a plan and purpose for our future. In the deep waters, we are called to have unwavering confidence, knowing that we have been equipped with all we need to succeed.