CHANGING THE NARRATIVE w QUEEN LANAE-PODCAST 5-2-24 (final)

The episode of Changing the Narrative with Queen Lene focuses on the topic of men and mental health. The host and her guests discuss their thoughts on mental health and how it is perceived. They also talk about the conditioning men face to suppress their emotions and the importance of opening up about mental health. The guests share their personal experiences and how they have learned to express their feelings. They also discuss how they would approach teaching their future sons about mental health. Overall, the conversation highlights the need to break the societal norms and encourage men to prioritize their mental well-being. The Voice of Texas Southern University. Welcome to Changing the Narrative with Queen Lene. Where we will discuss everything from relationships, mental health, and generational curses. Welcome, and you're listening to Changing the Narrative with Queen Lene. And I'm your host, Queen Lene. On today's episode, we will talk about men and mental health. We have guests Timothy, Chasen, and Cameron. Welcome. Thank you. Glad to be here. Thank you. What's going on? I appreciate it. Our first question, well my first question for you guys, is what comes to mind when you hear mental health? When I think of mental health, I will probably say just what comes to mind is basically how you handle everyday situations. Whether it be a job, dealing with family members, what puts you in the right head space to handle those particular situations and relationships? And then is the situation or relationship benefiting you in any way? Or how is it helping you, you know, further in your life? So when I think of mental health, that's the first thing that actually comes to mind. Chasen, Cameron? Mental health, when it comes to mind, for me, it's like, yo, mental health, I mean, it speaks for itself. The definition is like the words alone, it speaks for itself. So your health about your mind, make sure everything's straight or there's something wrong with you. For me, I would say it's about emotions and psychological aspects that you're going through in life. Okay, so as a man, how would you say your mental health is? Like, are you good? Are you bad? Are you, like, in the middle? I mean, mine varies day to day. I would say some days it's good, some days it's bad. It just depends on, like, what my mood is and what's going on throughout my day. For the most part, I try to keep mine in good shape. I just try to stay in a positive mindset. So I say mine straight is good. I'm going to have to go with Cameron on this. So mine kind of varies from day to day. And, you know, to be honest, men are kind of conditioned to always have to be okay. You know, we don't really get a pass in society. We have to go out and get it, support the family, or we can't really show our emotions. So a lot of things that we deal with, it's not really brought to the forefront. So, you know, some days are worse than others, but, you know, it's all about you finding that space, you know, you believing in somebody or something to help you through that day and to continue to push forward, you know, and having those conversations that are kind of uncomfortable. I definitely agree with him. So piggybacking off of what you just stated, do you feel as if growing up in this world, in this time, that that affected how you perceived mental health? When you say this time, what do you mean? This day and age. Like, well, just growing up when you first. Growing up, period. Yeah, growing up in general. I would say when I was younger, a lot of mental health topics were not being discussed. And as I got older, I guess because of more platforms, maybe because of social media, it was talked about a little more. So I would say that lately, you know, you have seen more outlets that discuss it. You definitely see more people bringing it to the forefront. So I think within the past, I'll say, five years, it has been a lot of growth in that area, you know, for men and women, to be honest, for both. Yeah, I definitely agree with him. Because over the last, I would say, I would even say go back and go back to 10 years. I've definitely seen more about mental health, not only in, like, everyday life, but even in sports. Because I'm an athlete, I've definitely seen it in the NFL with people end up shooting people over dumb stuff because their mental health is not there. So, yeah, I definitely agree. Chasen? Yeah, I agree with what they're saying, too. I guess as we was younger, we didn't hear about the topic of mental health. So it wasn't like nothing we paid attention to. But as we got older, we started paying attention. And then I guess because all the mental health exhibitions of their actions started to happen, as far as the negative side of it, it made it more of a topic to talk about now. A conversation. A conversation, yeah, rather than what it was before. Because growing up, you ain't really hear about mental health. And like you said, most of the time, it was like you keep it to yourself. Oh, you know what I'm saying? You just talk to certain people about it. But it wasn't that you just—it was a public thing. Yeah, like keep it personal. Now it's more on the platform now, I guess, because all the chaos that happened after. So, yeah. Well, we are going to take a brief break, and we'll be right back to continue our conversation with Changing the Narrative with Queen Lanay. We live in Black History 24-7-365. Dorothy Cotton was not only an activist and author, but an educator, planner, and leader. She graduated from Virginia State College, receiving her bachelor's in Boston University, receiving her master's. After hearing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speak at her church, she was then invited by him personally to join the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. She served for 12 years on the board as a close colleague to Dr. King. It is important to note she was the only female member of the staff. After the passing of her close colleague, Ms. Cotton served for three more years and became the Southern Regional Director for Action. In 2010, she was a recipient of the National Freedom Award. Ms. Cotton wrote a book titled If Your Back's Not Bent in 2012. I am Queen Jones, School of Communication, RTF major at Texas Southern University. We are KTSU2, the pride of Texas Southern University. Welcome back to Changing the Narrative with Queen Lanay. If you're just now joining us, we're talking about men and mental health. So, gentlemen, to continue our conversation, do you feel you were conditioned to not talk about mental health? Like I guess for me, like when it comes to my cousins, they're like they were, my uncles would always say don't cry. Like they could like cry because they lost the game at the age of five, and it's like don't cry. So do you feel like you were conditioned to be in that mind space? So you just tend not to share. You tend not to be open with your female or male counterparts. Like do you feel like that's a thing? I would say yes, most definitely, because as a young man at a young age, you're always taught don't cry, be a man. And the last 10, 15 years, that's what I had to do. I can't just say, oh, I can't cry about this. I just got to keep pushing. But now, like within the last two years with my family members and seeing what they have gone through, I found out that it's okay to cry to them and tell them how I'm feeling. For me, it was different. Like my parents, if there was something on my mind, they told me to talk about it. But I guess in the sense of like crying about certain things, if it really wasn't nothing to cry about, like a video game or a loss in a game or something like that, or if it wasn't nothing serious, like there's a death in the family or something really on your mental, I had the opportunity to talk about that. But that all depends on if I wanted to talk about it. So for me, it was different. But now it's like, I mean, you speak about it just because I'm older now, but as a kid growing up, if there's something on your mind, you speak on it. If you want to cry, cry. If you don't, it all depends on you. Right. Tim? I would definitely say I was conditioned not to really speak on how I felt. My parents, they were great parents. But as far as talking about your feelings, emotions, things like that, we wouldn't talk about that. And not because it wasn't something that was important. It just was, you know, my mom, she's just as strong as any black woman. She's just a strong black woman. So we ain't got time to talk about how you feel. So, you know, as I grew up, I had to kind of let her know, you know, mama, it's time to talk, you know what I'm saying. And really it started to help both of us because she's dealing with her stuff, I'm dealing with my stuff. So I guess it kind of made our relationship stronger. So it was something that we both had to kind of work on, and now, you know, we have a great relationship. So I say that bringing that to the forefront was something that we worked on, and it was something positive. That is really good. Chasen, question. Do you feel that you carried that lesson over when it came to, like, still expressing yourself, or do you feel that now that you've gotten older you don't really express yourself as much? As I've gotten older, a lot of things I don't pay no mind to. So my expressions towards things may come off as nonchalant, but it's like, like I say, like how I was talking growing up, it's not that serious. Get over it. So I don't trip on, like, little small stuff. If it's really not nothing major to trip about, I don't really pay it no mind. So I guess you could say, yeah, it came over as I got older, and now it's more because I know I'm grown. It's like if I want to get mad, I'm going to get mad. If I feel like I want to tell you I'm mad, I'm going to tell you. But I guess as a kid, you didn't say that because you didn't want that response like, oh, you mad or what you crying for? And I was like, if I want to cry, I'm going to cry. Right. So, yeah, it came over to the most part, for the most part. So getting into a deeper conversation, probably like more like future tense, do you feel that if you were to have children, more so young sons, do you feel like you would train them, you would condition them in a different way? Or do you feel as if you would teach them what you were taught? Like just in general not expressing how you feel when it comes to whatever it may be, whether it may be a loss, a death in the family, like anything, a bad grade. Do you feel that you would train your sons to be that way, to be ideally be in a better place when they do turn like 17, 18, and like it's just a lot going on in their life? Would you train them to, you know, be comfortable with coming to you and having a conversation versus, you know, just keeping it all in? I mean, yeah, I would do that. But I've got to go back with both aspects, like how I grew up. I would take some of the things I grew up with and how I was taught and then give it to my children. And then teach them like the new way of like actually you could come down, sit with me, and talk to me about your health, mental health. If anything's on your mind, you can come talk to me. Like I just realized like even recently, me and my father just now started doing this, and it's made our relationship so much better. Yeah, I have to agree. I would definitely, I would use a lot of things that was taught as far as how to get through situations. But I guess as far as the emotional aspect, I would incorporate just probably more time with family. I think a lot of times we don't realize when you spend time not just with family but people that you love how much just spending time with them helps you through situations. I think a lot of families don't do that like they used to. So I think that kind of helps. Also, when you have the hard conversations, a lot of us were conditioned to sweep things under the rug, back in the day, and I think now it's time to talk about the things so that way it can be addressed. We can move on. You're always going to have a difference of opinion, but I think that when you start having those hard conversations, that will help. So I think I will have more of those hard conversations with my personal own family in the future. I want to thank you so much for coming in to talk to me and expressing your, you know, getting a little deeper so I can know y'all more. Thank y'all for joining me, and tune in to another episode of Changing the Narrative with Queen Lene. The Voice of Texas Southern University. The home of the fighting type. Yeah, man. ATSU2. Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up. The Voice.