Reading by Eshe

The person is discussing recording and transcribing a conversation. They mention a card about spirits of the land and ascension. They also talk about a passage they read about not being alone and seeing without the mind. They discuss the presence of the person's mother and her connection to their higher self. They suggest that the person expresses their truth through music and that they are a channel for God's work. You're going to record it just... or you'll record it. I just will. Okay. Are you going to do the... just going to turn it into text or something like that? Yeah, I just didn't know if you wanted me to do that too. But yeah, okay, let me do it. I like it because then it just transcribes everything now. Wow, I've never seen that. And then that way you can just read it and then it time stamps it so if you're like, oh, that topic, and then you can go back and listen to it. Oh, okay. So what about the light? Us? Okay. There's an election tomorrow, so I'll try to figure it out. Okay. All right. So before I got in here, this card popped out. Spirit of the Land. Spirits of the Land. Hey, beautiful. Okay, first. The energy is fleeting. Quiet time allows them to enter. You can gain power through higher perspective when you realize there is a presence greater than yourself. Nice. Beautiful. That card has to come up three times. Those are nice cards. Yeah. What did you say about this card? It came up three times? It came up three times and I want to read it, but in one second. In what sense did it come up three times? When I picked up the card, it was the very first one on top. When I shuffled, this came up. And then I split the deck and it was the top one, even after I split the deck. And then I split the deck again and it was the top and the middle of the split deck. So that means something here. And it's called ascension. Reframe your thoughts and aging into positivity. Use each experience on your life path to grow and gain wisdom. Avoid falling into old familiar patterns. What patterns and stuck behaviors are being revealed to you as you move through your life? So spirit came through right there with the themes of loneliness and self-imposed limitations regarding age. Self-imposed limitations regarding age. What does that mean? I don't know yet. Okay. Out of the blue, when you set an intention that is aligned with your higher purpose, your guides send signals that magically appear without logical explanation. Instant manifestation occurs out of the blue. What is the thing that draws your attention in this card? What stands out to you? Well, I, you know, it's a woman approaching a butterfly that's in a tree of lightning. Yes. It's interesting because when I see this, I'm drawn to what she's standing in. When I see this, I'm drawn to what she's standing in. And you were drawn to the lightning tree. Uh-huh, yeah. The first thing I saw was the butterfly. Yeah. Okay. This is so cool. So I'm feeling a theme, but let's keep going. Okay. What was the last word? As they do mine. As they do mine. And this is interesting because this card blew my attention. It was usually I put all of these cards that are like about the author and the deck. Uh-huh. Some are completely different. So this is here. And nothing about what I read felt like it resonated except for, like a puzzle, these journeys don't make sense until I begin to paint. Uh-huh. So we'll see what that is. I'd like you to hold these. Okay. Boy, they're hot. Yeah. Okay. This is amethyst. Uh-huh. And a pomegranate. Yeah. And a plum. Yeah. And those are really special because I did a whole entire ceremony devoted to the Mary's, the way that rose and, you know, Mother Mary and everything. And I used this. And then I created a yoni candle, like a womb clearing thing for Russ the other day using these. And then I just charged them in the sun. And Spirit had me grab them and for you to hold. Okay. So in that vein, Spirit also wanted me to pick a passage out of this and read it for us. Uh-huh. Not Alone. December 6, 2019. Life is so strange, Mary. We went and got Christmas trees with the little kids last night. And this morning I have a tree standing in my living room and a manger up in the dining room. I'm sharing the piano table with the nativity scene. I just pushed a few wise men aside for my laptop. The morning has been the odd thing of darkening around me. Thank you for that. It was getting light too quickly. I look out towards the cabin and I find her resting in the darkness. I'm hoping to go out there tomorrow morning. Donny and Henry put lights on her, the cabin, last night. Luckily, they aren't on now. I don't think she likes to attract attention. It's better to see her out there with no light, mere shape, a shapeshifter. A place of miracles. Here too. You know, Mary, I've been forgetting a lot. I don't just forget thoughts and ideas but how to do things on the computer too. It is very strange. As strange as it is purposeful. This I know from you and you from me. And I know that I used to see easier in the dark. I mean the discrete things. Now I see easier in the dark in different ways. My Marie, this is Mary speaking. I love it when you let yourself be the watcher, the viewer. In this way, that includes yourself. Do you see it? Do you see what you are doing newly? Look at what you just said. I know from you and you from me. Another way to say it is you know from me and me from you. We know each other for each other you. You in the cabin know each other for each other you. You in the dawn know each other for each other you. This is the sense of presence you feel continually in your home. Inhabitants felt in a very heightened way as a mutual knowing. You in the trees of your woods also know one another. All that can be alone with everything that can join you in your sacred privacy, you know as the knowing of God. Can you imagine this our knowing as the way God knows and so the way knowing is? Can you imagine the same God alone as an acknowledgement of this way of knowing? Not a statement of God's singularity but one of God's inner sanctum. Each of you abide in this inner sanctum where your presence is a given and your awareness waits only your reception of what is. I know you can feel the truth of this which newly revealed but ancient memories. This is the great knowing received at death. At times just before death your two friends named Richard felt this before death. The time of death brings an inferior opaque truth into focus just as the coming of light has brought your cabin into view from this other side. Where your view is from without rather than from within. Close to death the views of many change in this way. Each knowing in life in the consciousness of time. No matter how brief expands knowing for all. So it is lovely that you have been given this occasion to view your cabin this way. You will remember this always. As you will each of these new knowings that seem to pass so quickly from your memory. They pass quickly because they are not held in your mind. This does not mean that they are not with you part of you. Does this help you begin to see? To see without your mind. To see in memoria. In your inner sanctum where you are undivided from your source. What you are experiencing this morning may seem to leave your mind. But this scene was not of your mind and will not leave you. As I will not leave you. As your Jesus will not leave you. As God does not leave you. You are always with us and so not alone. You are not alone but you are not imposed upon. There is no sense of infringement. This is the journey to truly welcome the natural knowing that you are not alone. You are known from the other side as you are knowing your cabin and woods from the other side this morning. From the inside. In this way the inside and the outside that have always been are becoming one. Hmmm. Wow. Okay. Isn't that beautiful? Did you check in with spirit? Did you want to... Did you check in with spirit? Is there like something that is like burning that you'd like some clarification on? I was wondering about my mother. Would you like to talk to her? Or just how is she doing? How is she doing? Can you give me her name, full name? Carolyn Ray Jones. Okay. So she's coming up over here. She's a pretty powerful force. She shows up more like a statue. But not in a cold distant way necessarily. She has a really big presence. She has... I can't tell right this second how your relationship was in person or on this plane. However, her presence is basically it's like this huge marble statue. Picture it white. Like David. Like kind of chiseled out of that. And she has this really long robe that goes down. And she's showing me essentially her face with a white halo behind it. Alabaster. Alabaster. Alabaster. I don't know that syllable. So... I've never seen this before. She's showing me that she's actually not just part of your team. She's actually a part of your higher self. Which I've never seen before. She's saying that... Oh, interesting. Oh, this is what it is. She's not showing me her. She's showing me you. She sees you as like this unmovable force of nature that just kind of shows up. And is willing to be molded in kind of like water with a Grand Canyon or with rock. You're willing to be... You're not immovable. You're willing to be changed by the elements around you in life. But you're not this permeable, porous material that's easily moved. And so she's showing me that your feminine higher self is a very strong presence of Alabaster peace. Like a pearl. Mirroring pearls of wisdom. Speak your truth more through your music. One thing Spirit Woods like you to do is... That time that you spend where you're connected to God. And you connect to God through... You hear it here. And you feel it here. And you're having some stickiness around... It doesn't necessarily feel exactly right when it comes out. And so there might be some doubt on whether you're doing it right. But Spirit is saying you can't do it wrong. And you don't know this, but you're actually a channel when you music. When you music. When you create music and perform. So one of the things that might help you to get out of your way and to get on stage is to think about this concept of God working through us. The way that I look at it, I feel like I'm like a little bird. Where I just kind of float around and I wait for God to direct me. And then it moves me. And then I literally don't even feel like... I know that I'm in here. But it just feels like it... Because the way that I've been shown is that the voice of God comes in through our... Right here. It's our 12th chakra. It's our God consciousness that goes all the way through here. And so the way I look at it is I brought it here. And then I see through God's eyes. I speak the voice of God. And then through my heart and body I act on the inspiration of God's voice. And so what God is saying or Spirit is saying is... If you only knew that you were merely a vessel for my voice... Would you be so worried about how you appeared? Or how you would proceed? And would you just know that you're doing the work of God... By creating what you have been inspired to share? Because with your frequency, your soul's resonance... Was given this Christos Avatar body template... For this interdimensional space travel. Which we are doing right now. And in that spaceship that we have, which is our body... Our soul's essence is able to emit a specific frequency... Because of these vocal cords and... Just how our whole body has been made up. My resonance would never sound the same as you. Even if I sang it identical to you... I would be activating different things because... The frequency is different. So just like that... Your frequency of what you emit through your fingers... Your heart, your energy center and your voice... I couldn't activate people in the same way. I couldn't speak the truth to them in the same way that you can. It's so unique to you. And just as life is... If you rob the world of that gift... Not only are you robbing them of receiving that gift... But you're robbing yourself of giving that gift... And receiving the gift of changing people's lives. And possibly being... You never know what somebody is walking in the door handling. And that could be... I'm going to go do this open mic... And then I'm going to kill myself. I've had it happen. I did reading... I'm telling you this story because Spirit is telling you too. I've been doing readings at Synergy. And I was in there... And the guy walks in... And he's like in his mid-forties... And I was like, hey, I'm doing readings. And then Spirit had a message. Like a tiny little message. And I just talked to him. And all these synchronicities happened. We hung out for like an hour because he needed some help. And I had some time. And then it was time for me to leave. And so I told him I was going to transition. You know, I just really want to tell you that... Before I came into that shop today... I was going to go drive into the Utah desert. And I loaded my gun. And he goes, I'm not going to do that anymore. At least right now. And I'm seeing him on TikTok. He's doing live. He's doing live. And he seems like he's doing well. Doing what? I'm seeing him on social media. And he's doing lives. Oh, lives. And he seems like he's doing well. Okay. And that is about one of thousands of stories I have. Because of the work I've done. Like with survivors and you know. But I think Spirit wanted me to tell you that. Because it might help you get out of your own heart. Which I don't know why I said that. Because I was going to say way. Get out of your own heart. Where I'm seeing Spirit is calling you towards. And I don't know that your mom wants to talk all that much. But we'll see. She's doing okay. But she doesn't feel like this is her time. She wants you to hear other messages. If you're okay with that. So one of the things that Spirit is saying to me is. There is a danger of becoming comfortably numb. And not living on the edge of growth. And so there's just an encouragement for you right now. You have done so many amazing things. You have turned your life 180. And then there becomes a point when the incubation period has reached capacity. And it's time to start growing and expanding in different ways. And I'm not hearing necessarily spiritually. But I am hearing a partnership of some sort for you. Because Spirit is directing me to the concept that. You can reach a spiritual growth point. Where you're at a ceiling. Because you can no longer grow alone. And the only way to grow and expand is in relationship. I do feel a feminine energy partnership coming in for you. Really nice one too. She's really sweet. She's going to be kind of obsessed with you. Learning about you. Growing with you. Expanding with you. Very kind, gentle. Feminine, powerful. But gentle for us. It's a feminine. I don't feel masculine. But I don't know your preference. She almost feels like she's already in your sphere. Like somebody you've been friends with that's going to possibly evolve into something more. So maybe be on the lookout for. You don't have to be like, is it you? But like, hmm. I'd be open to that. And I would pay attention. I think that you've been in a little bit of a bubble of not being super interested in that. At least that's what I'm hearing. Super interested in what? In maybe dating. Oh. In a traditional sense. Like it doesn't feel like you've been looking for it at least. And I think Spirit is saying, it's safe for you to be open and receptive. And start paying attention to flirting from females that might not look like traditional flirting. Hey teacher, can you tell me a little bit more about that thing you just taught? You know, something silly. Where you're like, are they interested? Like maybe you hadn't even seen, it hadn't been on your radar. So maybe start looking and you'll see like, oh maybe she is interested in me. And I don't know, maybe go get some tea sometime. Can you tell me more about this person that you're seeing? Yeah. She has lots of animals. Cats and dogs and seeing birds. Animals. She's kind of like a, I think of her house like a little circus slash zoo. But like not in a chaotic way. Just more like you walk in and you're like, holy shit this is a fun place. You know, like it's a home that's lived in fully. And she's a little eccentric. But in like a really cute way. Eccentric in the sense of like, she's not like anybody else. She does things very uniquely. She's what? She's very unique. Lots of colors. Definitely hippie vibe. The hippies in Emporium. I do see that she has dreadlocked hair. It's not like all dreadlocked, but there's like portions of it that are like, you know. Super cute smile. She wears glasses sometimes that are, that go to, that darken in the sun. Light eyes. Light brown hair. I would say, I would probably say blonde, but like dirty blonde. I just feel like I want to go to a farm. Maybe she owns a farm. She owns. Yeah. But it just feels like a really cool friendship. And she feels like she's attracted to you and she's hoping you're attracted to her. But she doesn't even know if that's, you're interested in partnering. So, get curious. Who's in your network. If that's something you're interested in. What was that? If that's something you're interested in. This is it. This is your mom. That's your mom, right? Yeah. The blue. Yeah. I don't know. This just feels like her. And look at that card. Protection Guardian. Or Protection Angel, I think. Protection Guardian. She's not passed on. Okay. Yeah, maybe that's why I couldn't see her. Your mom was kind of saying to me, I don't have much to tell him because he's doing so amazing. She doesn't have any real instructions. It sounds to me, and I'm going to move away from this because I'm not getting anything. She just wants you to know that she's always there. That she what? That she's always there. Oh, okay. There's no messages there. Sometimes it just happens. So this relationship that I need to evolve is somebody that is already in my sphere. And lots of animals, houses, circus, or zoo. In the best way. In good sense. Here's what I get from her. You are very studious and pious is a weird word, but it's what I'm using. But you also are very silly and goofy and fun and eccentric in your own ways. I feel like you're dancing and, you know, intimacy, physical intimacy. So I am getting this maybe tapping a little bit into your primal a little bit. Call her in faster. Tapping into my primal. What does that look like? What does that look like? Well, for me, it looks like static dance and tapping into my sex magic. Awakening my creative juices and flowing and my inner child and play. Yeah. I just picture tribal dancing. You know what I mean? Kind of like animal. That's what they're showing me a little bit more. And not to be afraid of it. You know, because it's... We shouldn't be afraid of any part of ourselves. You know? That's not... I was going to say something, but then I'm like, don't lecture. I'm like, okay. Hmm. Interesting. Okay, what? Do you see that there's one person that is... She's just so strong, but I do get the sense... I want to say her name's like Heidi. It's... We're going to move past that. This one over here, there are a couple who are interested in you. This one's the strongest energy. There are two other ones who are a little bit less powerful. They don't make as big of a splash wherever they go. A little bit more timid. I don't get that you would have the spice of life as much with them. But you enjoy yourself. They just wouldn't bring out that out of you. But there are two other women who are just a little bit more... timid, quiet-mannered. Kind of in the peripheral who, if you were to make a move, they would be interested. And these are all women in your groups that you attend. Yeah. Like, I get the sense that you're part of the reason I get excited about groups. Because I get to see you. Cool, right? I didn't know that people have crushes on you. Wow. What? You don't have a crush? No, it's just... No, yeah, I've got some people out there. I'm like, is this going to... something going to happen with this? I don't know. Is there anything... Heidi with the animals, that's a thistle quite. I don't see that yet. Okay. I don't know who that is. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes Spirit just has a sense of humor and... it'll be like two or three days from now and you're like, ah, fuck, there she is. You know? Yeah. I'm not averse to that. I'm open to that being, you know, on the path ahead of me. It just has to, you know, support the places that I'd like to be supported. Yeah, right? You're like, it'd be great, but like, I'm not going to... I'm not going to sacrifice my soul for it. You know, like, let's be complimentary in this. It's... Yeah. Were you married previously? Yeah. Yeah, I don't feel any... I was just digging into the energy there to see if there's anything that we need to let go of for you to transition. Yeah, I have two kids from different partnerships, and then my longest partnership, I left in New York when I moved out here, but it had kind of fallen apart in the romantic sense. That ended like six years before that. But we were still good friends. Yeah, I don't get any tie-ups with you emotionally. It's more... Let's just wait and see. You know, it hasn't been like a huge thing, but you're like, I'd like it in my life. And there was a certain period where you didn't, and then now it's kind of like, I'm ready. I think I might be ready. That's at least the sense I get from it. And the Spirit is saying... The Spirit is saying, they're closing in. Meaning, circling the drain. It's coming. Don't worry. Don't stress. And I feel like there's going to be three opportunities for you. One powerful one. And now I just wonder if you have met her. Like, maybe I haven't? Yeah, so take it... You do your discerning, because Spirit just went flip-flop on me and said, maybe he hasn't met her. I'm like, okay, well, that's not our fault. But I would park Heidi on a shelf, because my thing with Spirit is, I don't trust but verify. So maybe her middle name's Heidi, or her mom's Heidi, or her spirit name's something else, or her original name was Heidi. So just play around with it. People get really liberal. And sometimes in the Spirit world, it's like, no, don't take it so... And so, yeah, I hear that they're coming and circling in. I actually see, if you were to start doing things like affirmatively asking people to go to tea or coffee, you know, like, be a little bit more proactive with things. And a little bit... One of the things, even women who are in a spiritual community, they really love men who take charge in a respectful way. Take it, whatever you want to do with that. So I don't know. It can be really tricky, men and women dynamics, especially in conscious communities. And what are men supposed to do in relationships, and women in pursuing and not, right? And do I open the door? Do I pay? Do I ask her out? Do we just organically have this, you know, consent? And even as a very empowered, independent, conscious human woman, if a man is like, hey, I want to see you. I want to take you out. What are you doing Friday at six? You know, can I pick you up and take you somewhere? And then afterwards, we'll go to the movies or have a picnic in the rocks or something. It's like, oh, my gosh, can I have your babies? What? I'm like, oh, my gosh, can I have your babies? It's like the sexiest thing, you know? So, like, don't be afraid to take charge a little bit because I don't think that's in you to be aggressive or impeding on their sovereignty. But, like, it's sexiest, but, like, hey, I've got a plan. You've got a plan. You have nothing but show up. Oh, my gosh. You know, it's kind of a dream. Okay. That feels as far as that goes. So, it's like we're complete. Unless you have other questions. That sounds good because it's quarter to twelve and I have to collect peaches and leave around twelve. Okay, good. Good timing. Okay. That's fun. It's fun. I'm excited to get that text. Like, oh, my gosh, I just met Heidi. Well, thank you for that. Of course. That was interesting and exciting. Yes.