ep 2 - nessie mp3

A family discusses their recent camping trip and the funny incident where their son scared a kid with a made-up story about a deadly shake. They then move on to talk about the Loch Ness Monster, with the son mentioning that he read a book about it. They discuss the history of sightings and share some interesting facts about Loch Ness. They also mention a famous photo of the monster that was later proven to be fake. They express frustration that this photo is still commonly associated with the Loch Ness Monster. Hello. Hello. We're here again for next episode. I'm Shana and I have Oliver, my ten-year-old, that is just full of hilarious comments all the time, right bud? So we had a little break here. We went camping for a few days. It was really busy. Ollie and his friends had a lot of fun and they were scaring kids with their Grimace Shake discussion. They actually had one kid crying when they were talking. More like fake crying. No, I think he was really crying. I don't think he was fake crying. I think he was really crying because you said the Grimace Shake kills people. Well, no, I didn't say that. I did not say that. There was a group of four. I was hanging out with like a group of four or five. Well, three. You were part of the discussion. Well, yeah, I was. And you made the kid cry. Kinda. Well, if anyone doesn't know what the Grimace Shake is, it's apparently a new shake at McDonald's that is purple like Grimace. And if you drink it, you die. Well, no, it's like supposed to celebrate his like 60th birthday. His 60th birthday? Yeah. Well, it's still being like a four-year-old kid like that kid was, it's still kind of scary to think about. And then it's coming to Canada. I didn't say that. But still, one of you did. Well, yeah, one of us did. Who else would have said it? John Cena? Okay, anyways, we are going to start with the next episode here. And Oliver has no idea what we are talking about because I have not told him. Mm-hmm. This one is going to be about the Loch Ness Monster. Do you know anything about the Loch Ness Monster, Ollie? Yeah, I read a book. You read a book? What book? A book. How come I wasn't there to read this book? Because I was in school to read a book. You read a book in school about the Loch Ness Monster? Yeah. Oh. Or an article. An article. Well, in a children's book. In a children's book. Okay. Okay. Well, either way, that's cool. Because I've always been interested in whether or not the Loch Ness Monster exists. So, I don't know how much you know about her, I should say. They call it a her. That she is known as Nessie. Mm-hmm. And said to inhabit the Loch Ness in Scotland. Described as a huge, long-necked marine creature, long and thin with black humps, a tail, and a snake-like head. And she's apparently very shy. Which might be why she isn't seen very much. You think? Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for your comment. Is this like your second time that you've said that in two episodes? What? David William Johnson. Who's David William Johnson? Someone. I don't know someone. Okay. But if there's David William Johnson, then I do. Okay. Okay. So, this info came from Wikipedia. It is the, like, just some info on Loch Ness. So, did you know that loch means lake? Did you know that? No, but it's pretty similar. Similar. Similar. I'm going to similar because they're similar. Okay. So, Loch Ness is the second largest Scottish loch by surface area. The largest by volume of water. Contains more water than all lakes in England and Wales combined. And the water visibility. Here's something to talk about here. Because it's exceptionally low due to decayed vegetation content in the surrounding soil. So, I know I read somewhere. Where was it here? You can only look at this visibility here. I screenshotted the visibility. You can only see nine metres below. She can or? Like anybody. So, like, you can really only see a little bit at the top of the lake. And then anything below that, you can't see anything. Do people go swimming there? Um, that's a good question. I don't know. Okay. Because if they do, it'd be pretty muddy. Is that what you're going to say? No. Well, then if they do. Then what? That's the end of your sentence? If they do? Okay. Okay. So, and see the depth of Loch Ness. It's 745 feet. So, it's basically like the entire Golden Gate Bridge can fit there. Which is, that's really deep. Not nearly as deep as the lake that we're sitting on right now, Lake Superior. But Lake Superior is kind of on its own level for size-wise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. According to, there's a website. It's called the Loch Ness Monster Sightings Register. It keeps track of all the sightings of Loch Ness, of Nessie. There's only three sightings so far in 2023. But I read somewhere online that there's like a thousand sightings or more total for this guy. For Nessie. You said guy. I didn't mean to. And they have webcams that you can actually like watch and see if you can spot Nessie. And there's a 25,000 pound reward is offered for proof of the monster's existence. And don't ask me how much that is in Canadian because I have no idea. But 25,000 pounds. Like $1, you think? $1 in Canadian? Yeah, probably. I think it's probably more than that, but. Okay. So, I was going to tell you about the very first sighting. But this was in 565 A.D. So, this was a long, long time ago. Wait, what? A.D. 565. The year 565. First writing sightings of a monster? First written sighting. First written sighting of a monster at Loch Ness was actually in the River Ness, which is the river that leads into the Loch Ness. And it was written by an Irish monk. Hey, are you paying attention? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm distracted. There's kids running around outside. I know because you're being really loud. I don't know what you're saying. Okay. Irish monk. It was written by an Irish monk that saw a man swimming in the river and was bitten by a water beast. But who knows if that's even what kind of water beast it was. You know what I mean? So, the sighting that brought this whole idea of a monster being in Loch Ness happened in 1933. Okay. So, it sparked a lot of interest with Nessie. A man named George Spicer and his wife saw a most extraordinary form of animal. That's what they quoted, across the road in front of their car. They described it as a large bodied creature with a long narrow neck, thicker than an elephant's trunk. It was 10 to 12 feet long and had no limbs. His sighting was thought to be fake by researchers and inspired by a long neck dinosaur that rises out of the lake in the film King Kong. I think the very first King Kong movie that was very popular in the year of 1933, when he reported that sighting. And then many more sightings happened after his in 1933. And then also after they built a road along the lock in that down the lake. So, it would allow people to get to places around the lake that they weren't able to get to before. And then the first photo of Nessie was taken the next year in 1934 by a man named Hugh Gray. He said he saw a large creature rise out of the water. This is the photo here, Ollie. I don't know if I really see anything in that photo. What do you think? I mean, I see something. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. You see something. You don't you see something. Yeah, but I don't know if I see Nessie. Do you? Well, I see a Nessie. It's right there. That's obviously Nessie. Do you think that looks like Nessie? Yeah, but it's not. But it's not a real Nessie. It's a Nessie. Okay. You Nessie with my Nessie and you'll get bitten by Nessie. Okay. Critics of his photo said that it was actually a dog swimming with a stick in its mouth. Because he had reportedly taken his dog for a walk that day when he took this picture. Wait. But I don't. I don't see a dog swimming with a stick in its mouth either. Do you? Yeah, like, no. Well, who thought of that? Like, a dog? Yeah. Like, who, like, scientist was like, hmm, a mysterious monster? Well, he had a dog. It must be a dog. He had a dog. Yeah, I kind of agree with you. I like, okay, I can understand how that's the tail and right there's like, the ears but like, Ro's back looks sturdy. The back looks sturdy. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think that's really anything, to be honest. And then there was one more sighting. In 1934, a man was on a motorcycle that claimed to have almost hit the creature. He described it as a cross between a seal and a plesiosaur, like the dinosaur? Is that how it's pronounced? Plesiosaur? Plesiosaur? Plesinosaur. Sorry, but the plesinosaur. Oh, okay. Sorry. Okay, so then this next one, this one, this photo, I always knew as evidence of Nessie until it was proven to be fake. Yeah, I was gonna talk about that one. I was like, oh, she's obviously gonna talk about that one. Yeah, because that one's the most famous one. It is the most famous one, the surgeon's photo. It's definitely the most famous, but the other thing that kind of annoys me now is that it was proven to be fake. And still now, if I go googling Loch Ness Monster, which I did a lot for this, in preparation for this, that's all that you see is that photo. Yeah, it's like, because like, it's kind of obvious, because like, oh, yeah, it's fake. So oh, we'll just find a replacement photo, right? You'd think that you'd find one that is not proven to be fake, or could be real. I know, but then the only other photo is a picture of what some scientists thought would be a dog. That's true. No, there's, there's a lot more. We haven't gotten to that, like the now times, like where people have cameras with them all the time, 24 hours a day. So there's a lot more photos now, because we just haven't got to them. Those ones are the only ones that are like, yeah, because like, it's just like, the only way I can see like, somebody actually having like a real thing, because like, people just like, come up with like, stuff, and then they're like, every like, they just, they, they post one video, and they're like, oh, very scary, a big scary monster with the name David William Johnson, the second. He looks like a human, but he actually has one extra fingertip on his nose. And he eats ramen noodles every single day. Okay, that sounds good. And then like, it's good. And then they just like, posted and then they're now there's like, 100 suggestions, just a bit faking like, oh, oh my god, guys, it's David the Johnson second on the sidewalk. Give me my camera. Hey, can you stop recording me? I'm just eating my ramen noodles. And he's now pretending to eat ramen noodles. Every day, every day, every day, every day. And I think every day, probably every day. Oh, you know what, actually? It's probably actually every day. Okay. So, so, so this, so you're familiar with this surgeon's photo, though, right? Yeah, cuz like, I can just memorize it. Yeah. Like, they just like plop the shadow down and they're like, very scary. You know what it actually was? They, they admitted later, the person that took the photo that it was actually a toy submarine, submarine that they put in the lake and took a picture of it. You know, that's the good thing about black and white. You can just convince anyone because like, they can't see color. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we're looking at the photo right now. And I mean, I used to I remember thinking that it was real, because it wasn't proven that it was fake when I first saw it. But now that you look at it, it's kind of, it's like too perfect day. It's like, what is if Nessie was real? Would her neck actually look that perfect? Yeah, I don't think so. I think so. You think so? Yeah, like, how do giraffes get so perfect necks? Yeah, but giraffes aren't like swimming in, okay, whatever, doesn't matter. So then here's another photograph that was taken in 1955. Two black humps in the water. But this one, again, is thought to be a hoax. I don't know. To me, it's just fake. Like, yeah, what, what is that? Like, is it? It just looks like a really bad rock. A bad rock? Yeah, a bad rock. I know what it is. What if it's like, that Golden Gate Bridge from that example photo? And it's like underwater. It's like underwater. But that's not, the Golden Gate Bridge isn't in Scotland. Do you know what the Golden Gate Bridge is? Yes, in New Zealand. No, it's not. But, sorry, South Africa. There's no giant bridge in Loch Ness, though. That was just to show you the size, the depth of Loch Ness. Well, then why would they show it? There would be no possible way to other show it. Like, why? Okay, so you think that this photo shows the Golden Gate Bridge? Underwater. Underwater, okay. In Scotland. Someone moved it there. No big deal. It's not, it's not hard to move. Okay, so we could go on, I, we could go on forever with, with sightings because, like I said, after 1933, there was like tons and tons of sightings because everyone was flocking there trying to spot Nessie. So I'm going to jump way ahead now to 2014. I thought this one was interesting. It's a satellite image from Apple Maps that shows something just below the surface. But this one appears to be 30 metres long, which is 98 feet, which is insanely big because that first sighting we saw or we heard about with when it crossed the road in front of that man. He said it was like 10 to 12 feet. And now, now this shows 98 feet. That's like the whole entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge underwater. You'd have to be like, you'd have to be like, I'm so tight. You'd have to be at an angle to fit in there. Yeah, I guess so. And imagine having to live with the Golden Gate Bridge and being that big. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up the Golden Gate Bridge. And look, it's, this is the photo of it. So an explanation, a possible explanation would be a wake of a boat. Like if a boat had just gone by, it could be the waves of a boat that the boat made or floating wood. But floating wood? It doesn't look like floating wood to me. It doesn't look like floating wood to me. It honestly looks like something's underneath the water. But I don't know what that is. Yeah, because you can see like the color changing from the light reflecting off the water. Yeah. And then there was drone footage in 2021 of a 20 foot creature. That drone footage is always fake. That's where I used to watch it when I was four years old. Everything, everything when you're like, everything in like, what was it? Everything in like 2019 was so fake, though. Oh, in 2019? No, not 2017. It's like, you've got all the 3am videos. Like, tonight, I saw a David William Luke Johnson and Loch Ness Monster with the Golden Gate Bridge under my house, under my house, banging against the floorboard and trying to sing me and trying to give me a cranberry juice. Oh, okay. And then you've got like the, and then you've, what was it again? So you've got the 3am sightings. And then what else? I'm just gonna drink my coffee and listen. Go ahead. Oh, yeah, you've got those drone videos that you would watch like once a week, when if you're like a kid, you would watch them like once a week. And like YouTube, or like, adults wouldn't watch them like, like they some people know them. It's like, they like flow would fly a drone, like pass an abandoned building. And then there's just like this like, guy dressed up and like this childish costume. And then he's just like, standing there and then he like, he was like, he just like walks a little forward. And they're like, they're like, dude, no way. Is that and then for some reason, they just like, know every single like urban legend. Like, dude, no way. That's David William Johnson, the 27th. I'm so scared. David William Johnson, 27. We totally didn't plan this because we know that guy. 27. Now we got the 27 David William Johnson. Yeah, there's, there's probably lots of them. No, it's a pretty common name. Okay, you done with that story? No, but that was quite entertaining. That was quite entertaining. Okay. So for explanations, okay, I have a list of things that could, that people could be seeing instead of Nessie. Okay. Eels is the first one. Because they did a DNA test on that macaroni noodle. You just throw it in some wizzle here. Just once in a while. Yeah, like, like, California. Remember last time? Yeah. And then you said it was in California. I started singing Katy Perry. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. That's like a sequel. It's like, so now, okay, it's like the podcast. Part two. The little version. In this like, part two, the movie starts. Oh my, how did I forget the song already? Wait, hold up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just start is like, I just took a DNA test turns out I'm 100% that macaroni noodle. Okay. Oh, that would be odd. Getting a DNA test and finding out you're 100% macaroni. That would be a surprise. Yeah, and that would be a, and then that would be a disappointment. Yeah, I guess. I guess I'd be disappointed. It's like, it's like, like, like, when you're a kid, your mom's just like, a macaroni noodle and your dad's like, a sausage. I don't know why I say that. Whenever I get really nervous, I just like, I sweat cold somehow. Like, I'm like, I get nervous and then I'm sweating because I get like, it's like, you know, when you get that feeling like, oh my god, I'm gonna get in trouble. Oh, like when you're sweating, like, oh my goodness. No, you're just funny. That's all. That's why. Okay, so really though, they did do a DNA test in 2018 on Loch Ness and they found lots and lots of eel DNA. And so scientists say that, like, if the eels got unusually large, that it could explain quite a few of these sightings, probably. Imagine just like, going in the water and then you just see like, a 19 foot eel coming at you. Yeah, I would be very scared. Or like, what was a 90 foot eel coming at you? I would be more scared to run into a 90 foot eel than Nessie because I think Nessie's probably, maybe friendly, is my guess. But maybe not. I have no idea. Well, nobody has no idea. Yeah. Remember that one girl who like, went in the water with her family and then she apparently got like, she saw something under her. Like, yeah, there's like a weird sighting. Like in Loch Ness? Or somewhere else? In Loch Ness. Like, they were on tubes, I think. Oh my god, I would be dying. I would be dying. Yeah, was that more recent? That was like, oh my, I'm sweating just thinking about that. That would suck. Yeah, but she didn't get hurt. She just saw something underneath her. She saw something. Yeah. Yeah, that would be scary. But if it was Nessie, maybe Nessie was like, hey, just saying hi. Just walking by. What are the chances? Give me a one in, like, give me a one in something. And it can't be a one in one because there's, well, it can be a one in one. The chances that it was Nessie? No, the chances that she's friendly. A giant monster that probably dates back to prehistoric times. Um, yeah, I'm gonna say eight out of ten chance that she's friendly. So every eight lossies. Los Angelesies. Nessie. Nessie. Nessie. Nessie. Nessie's the soccer player. He is? Yeah. I bet he's like that weird guy who sings, I just want a DNA test. That's Lizzo. And that's not a guy. Lizzo's a woman. Are you sure about that? Yes. Actually, I don't know. Okay, anyways. Okay, listen to this, this explanation, okay? Elephants. Someone suggested that a traveling circus, this would have been a long time ago. A traveling circus? Yeah. Let their elephants bathe in the lock. Bathe in the lock. Yeah. And some of the sightings could have been an elephant bathing in the lock. Like, give me a break. I don't think I don't believe that for one second. You know what? I would rather believe you know that one one that I said was like a rock or something? I would rather think that's a camel. A camel? Yeah. I would rather think that's more than I would rather think that's a camel more than an elephant. Camels? I just took a DNA test turns out I'm 100% that elephant. Camels, camels have humps. You're right. But I don't know how a camel would make it all the way to Scotland. I know but like it's better odds than uh well but they did used to bring elephants um on circuses yeah they did but like what are they gonna do they're gonna like I I just find it really hard to believe that they would let them bathe in the lock and then people would mistake it for a sea monster imagine if that's like just that submarine it's just like he's just like posing for a photo and then it's like black and white and they're like right okay next so a Greenland shark is another option the shark really I know so what what happens with the Greenland shark is it usually lives around the ocean um around Canada and Greenland and sometimes Scotland I guess it could be could be around Scotland and that once I think it was just one scientist that suggested this that it could survive in fresh water using rivers to find food and Loch Ness would have lots of food for a shark but wait so like he's just like down there eating a Loch Ness and then they're like and then he's just like cosplaying for it like and it's kind of people mistake him for a sea monster I don't know about that well like they're like oh my god this Loch Ness Loch Ness is just like bones down there that's kind of creepy oh no seriously like yeah or another thing it would be a catfish no just just no just skip that one just skip it we don't need to talk about that no I would rather talk about porcupines to saying female woman named Bella what what's so bad about the catfish catfish catfish can get gigantic you know that do you can they get gigantic as 90 foot no I don't think so but what would that sighting be 19 feet 19 feet maybe maybe they can get very big okay what do you want to talk about a porcupine no oh okay that's just like we need to talk we like okay you know like don't stop stop but like we need to take a break like we are losing control I think you're the one that's losing control here no because you're also the one who said like I will find that person who said it was the catfish and show him and tell him is there a 90 foot catfish somewhere okay but I'm just I'm just reading I'm just I put together facts that we can discuss and that was something one of the things I've read that's a cap cap not a something that some a scientist has suggested that could be mistaken that's cap cap yeah scientists are cap okay they don't exist but they're just like normal people scientists are normal people just like doctors like uh well yeah they're people but they're also scientists but like okay that's a whole nother discussion that you're getting into um other animals could be to blame as well such as otters I guess there's otters that are in yeah otters are all over the place remember we found an otter in our pond well yeah because they're native to Canada yeah they're native to Sweden Scotland we're talking about Scotland Scotland Scotland need wind okay or deer deer can be swimming in the lake or birds okay or boat or boat wakes yeah or trees floating in the in the water or hoaxes of course I mean we know that that happens and then the other thing would be if it could possibly be um a plesiosaur the dinosaur that somehow survived through the all the the extinction events and well I mean sharks survive through all the extinction events yeah and I mean and birds right birds are yeah yeah um but so this is this is a picture of uh a plesiosaur well but this is so this is a lot of times when when these sightings come in it pretty much describes a plesiosaur right um but the only thing here's some facts about Loch Ness is that it's only 10,000 years old Loch Ness and before that it was frozen for 20,000 years it's only 10,000 years old yeah that's what I found on the internet the lake and before that it was frozen who's saying the lake is only 10,000 years old that's scientists have said that I know but they're probably correct only yeah that's like if you told like that's like if you told an old person you've only survived 258 years yeah but I'm just saying it in compared to where when the plesiosaurus lived well yeah which was a lot longer than that well I mean they could have bred like all the way there yeah maybe there's just a really unpopular lake that was off limits to swimming yeah and I mean it's not the only lake either that has sightings of strange creatures in them there's even one in Canada I told you about that lake right yeah um the ogopogo ogopogo yeah ogopogo I've not heard I've told you about that one there's a lake a lake I'll just I'll search for it on my phone it's like a weird tongue twister yeah ogopogo it's in it's a lake in BC called Okanagan lake and there's supposedly a sea monster that lives in that lake as well wait is it allowed to are you allowed to go swimming there I I think so oh that must be where I got that title from ogopogo yeah my dad was an ogo and he had a pogo daylight come and he wants to go ogopogo and then there's there's quite a few other lakes that supposedly have these creatures in them so and we want to ogopogo okay are you done no it's a good song okay I'm not saying it's a bad song I just it's ready to continue with our podcast the struggle is real okay this this and also for this um plesiosaur because it would it breathes oxygen right the plesiosaur I believe let me look them up I'm pretty sure it would breathe oxygen and so it would have if it was a plesiosaur it would have to um surface many times a day to breathe so I feel like if it actually was that it would be seen a lot more than it is seen well I feel like I feel like it actually is a dinosaur there's a lot of evidence like confirming that and like what's the word again like they like to come in and go pogo ogopogo nope no it's uh uh uh david william johnson david william johnson yeah of course david william johnson I talked to him he said yes he's real okay oh yeah yeah uh a bunch of evidence confirm no like supporting it that's the word supporting that it's a that it's a dinosaur no supporting that it's real that it's real okay because like yeah it could be a dinosaur because like it really could be a dinosaur like this is the only thing that I actually like that's like I feel like it's really like I feel like it's really yeah yeah yeah um yeah it's hard to say because there's because there's no like real solid evidence there's lots of of people saying that they saw it but there's no real solid evidence but I have news for you that might change because guess what I read the biggest search for Nessie in more than 50 years is going to be held this month at the end of August in 2023 searchers will be flying drones with cameras and that and drones that can detect unusual underwater sounds and they're actually right now I saw that they're asking for volunteers to help search can you imagine I'd be all over that if we lived in Scotland I'd be like or if I could go there if I could take time off work and go to Scotland and help I would do it in a heartbeat would you why are they using drones like you could have used another toy submarine oh yeah that would destroy the drownings well and there's no visibility down there in the lake is the problem they can't see anything maybe that's why Nessie likes that lake so much well you can't see it can't see her she's hard to find also like I'll just hold it like why wouldn't you just like why wouldn't she just like go to the ocean um well the ocean is salt water though oh yeah so if she's a fresh water creature um they don't like this they don't like the salt water yeah yeah um I don't know it's hard to it's really hard to say if and I hope that they and I hope that they find something out this with this new search coming up and if that's the case I mean what if there's something in Lake Superior right here that we're looking at right now there could be it would be discombobulated it would be discombobulated probably I just I think this lake is some lakes are just so big that we can't even come close to searching them kind of like the ocean you have no clue what's in the ocean really I thought it said only 15 percent of the ocean has been searched or was it one percent I'm not sure but it's either way it's not very much of the ocean right yeah but there might be a megalodon down there somewhere maybe yeah but like well well Mariana Brench Mariana's Trench no Mariana Brench who's Mariana Brench someone again Mariana Brench and who is it who is it oh my god I'm thinking of Kwanda Dingle now yeah David William Johnson II oh okay and who is it oh my god Mariana's Trench yeah Mariana's Trench and David William Johnson II got married one day and then they produced Kwanda Dingle oh that's their child yeah they named it Kwanda Dingle no you guys have never heard of Kwanda Dingle only from you my son all right I think I think we're all done unless you got more to say about Nessie Nessie I've said enough for the money to come rolling in for my bank account one cent one cent all right David David David David take one bite and I'll search David my David and Dave oh my goodness oh my goodness they going home okay I better stop this before he starts singing another song thanks thanks for listening bye