Episode 2_ How Do I Make Friends_ (Feat. Virginia Hobbs)

The episode discusses the theme of friendship with a special guest named Virginia. They talk about their experience of making friends during their freshman year of college, particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic. Virginia shares that it was challenging at first, but she ended up making amazing friends over time. They emphasize the importance of being vulnerable and opening up to others in order to build meaningful friendships. They also give tips on how to meet people, such as joining clubs, attending events, and being open to new experiences. They highlight the importance of continuously making friends throughout college and being open to new connections. Hey guys! Welcome back to Eagles To All. This is episode 2 where we're going to dive in to the theme of friendship. So I'm actually bringing a very special guest today. Her name is Virginia. We used to be roommates junior year of college where we lived off campus together. And she's definitely a very, very special friend of mine and has really impacted my journey here. So yeah, say hi! Hi y'all, I'm Virginia. So tell everyone what's your... where are you from actually? I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. Cool. And what school are you in and what are you studying? I'm in the Lynch School of Education and I'm studying Applied Psych and Human Development. Woo! Okay. We're going to get right into it. So since we're getting into like the topic of friendship, let's just start with a very broad question of tell me about your freshman year briefly and how it was like making friends and like going through this period of transition where you absolutely didn't know anybody. Honestly, it was definitely like a really unique year. We were in the midst of COVID and I was also coming from Atlanta, Georgia where I really didn't know anyone. So adapting to Boston in the middle of a pandemic was just kind of these added layers of complexity and it made it really difficult. And it definitely was really homesick at first. I feel like that's something that people don't really talk about freshman year is that like it's normal to be homesick and that actually can be really challenging. But honestly, I ended up making some amazing friends and it kind of happened like over time. I didn't even really realize it was happening when it did. And now I'm still really, really close friends and best friends with all those people and I know they're going to stay close friends after I graduate. But it was definitely a slow journey and it was not something that kind of happened right away. Awesome. I can totally relate to that. I think having COVID as freshmen definitely gave us kind of an extra obstacle to overcome. But regardless, making friends is hard and you can get through it. It's kind of just a gradual process. So just stick with it and be your best self, right? I feel like Virginia has always just been herself and I truly admire that. I'm guessing. I truly admire Virginia for that. Next question is that, I know we just talked briefly about your experience, but if there's any freshmen listening and they're kind of struggling or kind of doubting themselves through this process, do you have any tips on how to make friends or ways to meet people? Yeah, definitely. And honestly, my advice for this is going to be kind of cheesy. But unfortunately, that's just kind of the way that it is. But I think it all just kind of starts with just being vulnerable. I think that that's the only kind of way you can make friends. And that might start with just going up to people and saying, hi, if you have someone in your classes, meet them, grab lunch with them, ask if they want to do homework together. If there's someone in your hall who you think is fun, see if they want to go out together. And it just kind of all starts with those small things. And I think that that's kind of the foundation for a very surface-level friendship and that's fun and that's also a really important part of your freshman year. But I think in order to kind of go deeper and stuff like that, you kind of do have to share about yourself and you kind of have to open up and be vulnerable and tell them something about you that might be going on in your life. And I think once you start to do that and realize that this is a safe friendship where you're able to kind of do that, then you're going to be able to kind of go deeper with that friendship and actually be able to make it into something more meaningful. I totally agree with you. I think being vulnerable is literally the root of every single strong and fruitful friendship, so I really appreciate that view. And I think it's also super hard to want to be vulnerable with, you know, you're meeting people for the first time, you have no idea who they are and who to trust. And so I think being vulnerable is like so, so, so difficult to do at first, but it's something you kind of have to overcome and do. Yeah. But yeah, that's great advice. And I asked before, but what are the best ways do you think to like meet people? Like, is there anything you like you recommend like going to or is it through classes? Like, what is your take? Honestly, it's hard for me. Like, I was horrible about this freshman year because I really did not get involved in like COVID and stuff like that. Yeah, definitely. And even like after COVID, like I was just like nervous to get involved in stuff like that. And I like over time at BC, I feel like I've slowly started to involve myself in things. But like, honestly, just like starting an intramural team with your friends, like asking someone if they want to go to like a workout class at like BC at the Plex or something, or like going to basketball and football games and stuff and like going to the little things that your RA hosts on your hall. Like you can meet like awesome people. Like that's how I met one of my current roommates literally through PD. Oh, okay. I didn't know that actually. Yeah, we like met her through like one of the little things like our RA was doing, which like we were totally all going to like blow off and then we ended up going to do nothing else to do. And then that's kind of how we like start to meet each other. And that's how like I met PD. And so I think it's just like, you kind of have to buy into the silly things like that is truly how you meet people. And it's definitely, I think people ask me all the time, they're like, how do you make friends in a school that doesn't have Greek life? And because like growing up and being in the South and like that was like a huge part of a lot of my home friends like cultures at their school. But I think that's what makes BC so great is like you kind of have to lean into these other areas of your life. And like it allows you to truly join the things that you're passionate about. Like whether that's like different clubs or if you want to be on a sports team or whatever that might be. It allows you to kind of like dive into that and then like make friends through that. So I definitely would recommend like joining clubs, doing retreats. I just love like the 48 hours and like such a wonderful experience. It was a great way for some of the freshmen to meet each other. So I would definitely recommend those as well, which I think like you'll probably touch on like in a different way. Yeah, just like for context, like 48 hours is one of the retreats that BC offers. Well, I'll definitely get into that in another episode. But yeah, through these clubs, it's like so this is where you meet a lot of your friends. I know for me too, I like honestly met a lot through classes. Like I, I have my major in psychology and I met a lot of my closest friends through literally the classes that we've taken. Like I literally have like a friend group literally surrounded by my classes and like they honestly mean the world to me. So I literally think putting yourself out there, even in the academic setting or like campus involvement setting, like you will meet those people and it's so good to like surround yourself with a lot of people. Like be open, like don't, you know, like prevent yourself, like don't just like get two friends and then like be like, okay, like I'm good. Like I think it's always good to be open and like everywhere you go, like have like a, you know, warm heart and like openness. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, but like just be open to meeting people. Like you will surround yourself with like a great group of people. If you just like, I don't even know, I think I'm saying the same thing all over and I'm going to cut this part out. I think you're also never done making friends. Like I think that like the friends that I've met freshman year, like I'm very lucky that a lot of those have like stayed my friends. And I've also gotten closer to all of them, but also like going abroad, I met like an entirely different group of friends. So that's like a different outlet for me. Like I have my roommates and we do things together and I have like other people who I hang out with as well. But then like my abroad friends opened up an entirely different group of people to me and then I've met their friends. And so I feel like my, my horizon is just like definitely expanded a lot just as I've grown up with BC. And a lot of that is just like putting myself into uncomfortable situations. Like the moment you stop being uncomfortable is the moment you stop growing. Wow, I actually love that. Guys, that's the motto of this episode right there. Yes, I love it. So I think like you just have to like put yourself in uncomfortable situations and that's how you know that you're growing. And like if you start getting uncomfortable, then do something different and change it. I love that. I feel like if there's anything else to add, I totally agree with that. Like be open at every year of your college experience. Like you're going to meet so many, I mean like I didn't meet some of like my closest friends. So like even sophomore or even like I met some close friends like senior year, which is crazy. I'm like, I wish I met you earlier. Like Kit and people like, I don't know, just some random people from our classes were like, wow, I wish I met you earlier. But yeah, always be open. Yeah, okay. Thanks for having me on. I have more questions. You already touched upon the fact that you do have some of the same friends you did freshman year, but you kept yourself open. So I'm not going to cover that, but I kind of wonder because sometimes, you know, it's kind of hard to like leave the friends you've known like your whole life and like just kind of like start over in college. So like give us a little bit of intel on like how it was for you to maintain your friendships from home. And like, you know, like was it easy or hard or like how did you keep in the communication or like kind of keep tabs on everybody? It's kind of like, it's kind of complex. Definitely. Honestly, I was really fortunate. I had like an amazing group of high school friends. And I think what made it difficult at first was that like I think I was comparing my college experience to theirs, which kind of made me envious of them. And as I like kind of realized over time, like comparison is a thief of joy. And like the moment I stopped comparing myself to all of them, like I was able to be happy again with my friendships with them. And like I stopped kind of worrying about what was going on and just like reminded myself how much I loved them. And I think honestly, just like FaceTime calls, like checking up on them. Like I think people don't realize like how important it is to be the friend that's reaching out. And I think you also have to realize like, and this is something I'm still working on, is that I tend to like reach out to people on my time. And so like I'll call people like whenever I go on walks and stuff. And if they don't answer and they call me back later when I'm busy, I don't make time for them. And so like I need to realize that like I need to take time out of my day to like have those friendships or else I'm just doing everything on my time. Like not my time, I need to start doing things on their time too. So that's important to also remember. Like if your friends aren't responding or they're busy or whatever, like then you need to find time out of your own life to then like step out of whatever you're doing and maybe like answer their phone call. Yeah. And like I think another thing is just like people will always use the excuse that you're busy and I tend to do that too. And like the reality is everyone's busy. Everyone has something going on. But like you can make time for the people you love and care about. And if you don't, then you will start to find that friendship slip. And so I think that's something I've also really started to realize over time too. Like I don't want my friendships to go anywhere. So I'm working on them. Yeah, thank you. I think you really highlighted how important friendships are from home. I think that we tend to like get caught up in the motions of what's happening in the present moment. At school, like BC, that we forget how valuable our friendships are from home because at the end of the day, you're going to come home on breaks. And like these are the people you're going to be seeing and hanging out with. So if you don't maintain these friendships, it's like difficult as it can be sometimes to juggle. I think it's so important to reach out to your friends. And also they can be an outlet for you, especially if you're not having the easiest time at school. Or someone to lean on or just having that sort of comfort. I don't know. I've always leaned back on my home friends and always loved going back to them and catching up with them. So if you can take anything from this episode, or this part of the podcast, is to really just cherish the friendships you've built throughout your lifetime. So yeah. I guess all the questions we have today. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. On Eagles Tell All, obviously, Virginia has very insightful advice. So I hope all of you really take it in and embrace it. And I hope you can leave this podcast taking away... A little something. How do you say that? I'm going to retake that. I hope you leave this podcast taking away something or incorporating it in your life. I hope you're able to take something from this podcast and incorporate it in your own life. I hope you're able to take something from this podcast and incorporate it in your life. But yeah, peace out. No, absolutely not. I'm done. What should be my outro? Fly high. Oh. Wait, that sounds like someone died. Okay. Good luck to my fellow Eagles and always reach out, DM me. If you need extra support or want advice, feel free to reach out. Thank you so much for tuning in. Bye everybody. Bye.