Build A Man?

In this transcription, the speaker discusses the idea of women building men and the importance of building a legacy in relationships. She shares her personal experiences and beliefs about the role of men in building generational wealth. She questions whether men are interested in building a legacy with black women or if they are just looking for a fantasy. She also talks about the challenges black women face in finding successful black men who are willing to build a legacy together. The speaker emphasizes the importance of having assets and financial stability in a relationship and encourages viewers to prioritize long-term goals over materialistic desires. She also mentions the prevalence of interracial relationships and suggests that successful black women may have a harder time finding black men to build a legacy with. How y'all doing today guys? Welcome back to another episode of Sweet Millionaire Formulas. How y'all doing today guys? So today is an interesting topic and I'm just like, what's your opinion? Because let's just get straight to it. Women, are y'all building a man? Is that what y'all doing? Y'all gotta, somebody gotta be kidding me. Build a man workshop. Okay, so what is your top three? No, what's your top five requirements when you're dating someone? Because I'm not sure in today's society, right? They, the men of today's society are looking for a fantasy and they're not willing to put in the work for a legacy. Is that just me or am I just making things up? What's your opinion? Because are these men looking to build legacy with us? Black women or is there, are they just looking for the fantasy? Because I am just not sure. And I think that because we have had to suffer through the domestic violence, through his gun charges, through his background and da, da, da, da, da. And I'm just speaking from what I was raised on, what I went through as a, as an adult in my twenties, you know, having an eight year old in my thirties and I haven't really dated and have a real relationship. And I would say like four or five years, the last real relationship that I was in, um, my daughter was one. This is the last like actual, before my daughter's father was murdered. The real actual relationship that I was in, the last relationship where my man was the bread holder. He was providing the cars for our house. He was paying the bills. Only thing I had to do was be the woman, take care of the household, cook the food, make sure his needs are met. And while that was seemingly traditional, what, um, what I didn't realize then was that neither one of us was putting towards a legacy. We were just putting towards having a relationship and being together. We were not building a legacy. Although he was the provider of the house, he was not providing any tools or no knowledge to me to pour into me. He was just expecting me to cook his meals, beat it for him. He would beat it for me. Um, we'd go out once a week, take care of the kids and things like that. And I just think that nothing wrong with building towards being in a relationship daily. But in today's society, when you're seeing women who are the breadwinners and we're, we're making two, three, four times more than men, I feel like even with trying to figure his comments that if you can find a man who could pay the light bill and you pay the rent now, what, what, what, what, what's y'all opinion on that? Like you're literally leave comments because we're going to discuss this, but I feel like I am not building nobody's son. If I had to raise my child, raise myself, get myself through college, get myself through my career, make sure I show up for my, my brand bill of relationships, write books, write episodes, write plays, film a podcast. Do you think that I have time in my real life to build a man to teach a man how to build legacy? No, I need him to come to the table with assets. I need my man to come to the table with I need my man to come to the table with real estate. I am not settling and I will never settle for somebody that is able to pay a light bill. If I am paying a mortgage, we would not, I would, I would literally eat grass with a fork before I settled to be with a man who was only paying a light bill. If that man can only pay a light bill, then he needs to be somewhere paying his mama's light bill because there's no way that a grown adult man is living his actual life with a woman to build with her legacy, for a legacy, and the only thing that he can provide is a light bill. Now, if that's what y'all are settling for, and I can, and honestly, this is for the reason, that's what I was getting to, because are men having to build women too? Like, are y'all coming to the table with just light bill money, ma'am? Are y'all coming to the table with just lip gloss, an iPhone and a wallet with one debit card in your purse? Are you coming to the table with that? I'm just asking because if men, if we are not settling for men building a woman, I mean for a woman building a man, then should a man settle for just building you or is a woman the prize? Are we still a prize if we don't have assets? No, I'm just, I'm just sorry, we not. I know y'all think I'm probably getting on people today, but I cannot express to you how sad it would be for you to spend your life with someone and you guys never build towards generational wealth. And we know here at Sweet Millionaire Formula that generational wealth looks like credit, business credit, real estate, stocks, investments, long-term projects, production studios, having IPs, intellectual properties, making sure that your passive income is three to four to 10 times more than your regular just one income. Making sure that you're able to see yourself running. If you want to run a Toro business, if you want to run an Airbnb, if you're going to run whatever it is that you're going to build towards your legacy, I believe that that's what you should start the relationship with. It is not the time for you to get into a relationship to see if this man can take you on a date that is over. If you are going on a date with a man to see if you can, he can afford to take you out the country, to see if he can afford to buy you a bag, then you may need to reprioritize what it is that you're dating for. Because I feel like one of the most important and highest forms of love and self-care is building towards marriage, is being in a relationship and building towards marriage, which again, building a marriage and having a marriage is generational wealth. Having healthy parental leadership is wealth because you're 10 times more likely to be successful coming from a two-parent household that generates over $200,000 in income than you are from a single-parent household with no marriage and no longevity. I feel like that's the difference between building a woman and building a man, you can build a legacy with a woman. Most men seem like they want to build a legacy with a woman who was there when he was shooting in the gym. But it feels like the higher and higher that I go in my career as corporate in corporate America, the higher you are in your career, especially I know for black men, the higher that they are in their career, the less likely they have of the playing fields being black women. So let's say we start here at the bottom, everybody's on the basic same staff and level, whatever the case, boom. And a black male, he can start at the executive level. So when he's starting at the executive level, there is no black women on the executive level. Does that make sense? I'm in the DMV. So for me, I'm just speaking what real facts are. When I see people of men of color dating, they're dating the Chinese woman, the white woman, the wealthy woman, or the woman who is... Now, don't get me wrong. I do see black couples thriving here. So there's nothing that black couples can't thrive together and that we don't build legacy together. But what I'm saying is in corporate America, when a black man is up executive level in his job, he's more likely to be exposed to the Asians, to the white women, to the Arabian women, to the women who are foreign versus being able to be exposed to the black women. Now, I'm not talking about law firms. I'm not talking about doctors. I'm not talking about those men. So those men, they have an influx of women who are throwing themselves at them. And I feel like when you have so many options from so many different directions, you can be particular about what you want. But I feel like it takes a certain type of black man to say, I'm going to be building wealth with a black woman. And it also takes a certain type of man to build with a woman who doesn't have anything. Now, that's on a man's preference. And men, you can leave your comments. But what is your preference? Do you prefer to build with a black woman who's already at the corporate level, who you know you can go toe-to-toe with, who can build legacy with, who you don't have to build a woman? Or what's your chance of being an executive level or the level that you are? What level are you at in your career? And how much access do you have to financially wealthy and financially free, financially stable and illiterate black women? How is that access? I really want to know. You guys, please leave comments, because I need to know, what is the status quo on generational wealth for black men and black women being able to build healthy relationships no matter what state you're in? I don't know if I'm in a DMV, black chocolate city. And so, while that is still a thing and black families are definitely thriving, I also see black women with white men just as fluently as black men are with Asian and white and Arabian and foreign women. So, now, I don't see an influx of black women with Arab. I hope I'm not being racist, but I'm not trying to be. But I don't see an influx of black women being with Chinese men. I don't see, unless they're younger teens and things like that, I'm not seeing an influx of black women choosing to date Chinese men. I'm not seeing an influx. It's always been this weird stigma that black women are not supposed to or not supposed to, but black women don't date outside their race. Black women are only looking to settle for the black man. And woe is me type of black women have to settle for black men with a record who give them a child and then like a Phaedra situation where a Phaedra was the breadwinner and her man was a criminal. Even though she's on house vibes, she had to bring him along and then he pulled a scam and was sentenced right back to six or seven years of prison. So, I feel like the more successful the black women are, the harder it is for her to be in legacy and build legacy in a marriage with a black man. Now, I'm not saying it's impossible. When we do see sprinkles of it all across social media, but that's a compact media outlet. So, it's like you see, you think that you're seeing high numbers of these couples together, but then when you're in your actual life, what are the chances of you seeing a legacy and what's your access to building a legacy with a black or white, I mean, a black man or if you're a black man, what's your chances of building a legacy with a black woman? Because that is literally 100% of our issue is that especially with, how can I say this, with like with white men, they marry, they go ahead and marry that girl, give her two kids, buy that house and they're going to work and they're going to provide for that family. And it's not a question as whether a white woman should be taken care of, whether she could be the bread, whether she should be just bearing kids and being a stay-at-home mom or whatever the case, because that man is already in position to take care of that family, marry her and be well off. And they have generational wealth, meaning that their mothers was married, their mother's mothers were married, they're passing down a house. So, they're passing a house two to three times down their lineage to ensure that their families are generationally wealthy. And I feel like for me, as a black woman in corporate America, who's climbed the ladder, who's reached this pinnacle of where I am right now, I feel like one of the most important things that I can do with Sweet Leonard formula is to equip minority women with the tools, such as credit recovery, credit repair, credit excellency, and then teach them stock investing, real estate and how to buy a house and how to be able to leverage your expertise, your gifts, your assets to be able to be on the same playing field as if you were a white woman or as if you were a woman in corporate America. As long as you're bringing something to the table, it is no, it's not we label, you level the playing field as a individual. And I feel like that's what separates most families from or most women from generational wealth is that you cannot bring something to the table if you're not being able to hold your own weight. So, if you're a black woman, and you have your own stocks, you have your own real estate, you have your own companies, you have your you are leveling the playing field versus you being a black woman with nothing at all to bring to the table and expecting to date and be with and marry a high value man. So that is all for today's episode, guys, leave your comments in the comment section, and we will talk about this on the next episode. Thank you guys.