009 - A Bonus Christmas Gift for You

The speaker's wife discovered that he is doing a podcast, which she disapproves of. He recalls a time when he sang in a karaoke booth and was overshadowed by another singer. The speaker also mentions his mother's crush on a singer who is not conventionally attractive but has a good voice. He reflects on the habit of judging people's looks and the objectification of humans. The speaker jokingly suggests adding sound effects to the podcast and turning it into a morning drive radio show. He also mentions the possibility of having themed episodes. So I, uh, my wife, my wife discovered that I'm doing, that I'm doing this podcast, right? I mean, I, I'm not, I'm not keeping it a secret per se, but I'm keeping it a secret by just not saying it, you know, I mean, she's not going to let no, no real risk of her running across it on the internet being like, Oh, a podcast for me to listen to, you know? Um, uh, but yeah, she discovered this new microphone I've got. And then I had, so I was talking to this class. I was going to go take it anyway. So she's figured out, Oh, you're doing this, the podcast. Yes. Uh, and then I got a big eye roll because she thinks it's probably not a great idea. She already, she heard about it before from you. I said, I have an idea for this podcast. And she, she said, she gave you a disapproving look as, as, as many do. And then, and then now, you know, you say you're doing it and there's another eye roll. Yep. An eye roll. Okay. Uh, I mean, not a, not a demand to stop or anything like that, but an eye roll of like, you're an idiot. Yeah. You're an idiot. Yeah. I've been saying you're an idiot eye roll a lot. Yeah. And, um, you know, it, uh, I don't know where, where was I going with it? I mean, so we, I explained like, Oh, you know, the first episode is about, uh, standing on an escalator. Fantastic. Which might be one of our best episodes still. It's a, it's fantastic. But, um, explain that to her. There's more to come. Yeah. And, uh, she, she chuckled a bit, which is after this many years of marriage is basically all you can ask for is like a slight chuckle or a smirk acknowledging that you might not be the biggest idiot she's ever met in her life, you know? And, um, yeah. So she gave me a smirk or a chuckle, which like, I was like, that's gold. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Um, and, uh, yeah. Take that suckers. Take that ex-boyfriends or whatever, you know? And, um, yeah. Kids stood up on the chairs and started clapping. And so then you went, you went down to the library. Raised me up, marched me through the house, you know? They're not strong enough for that. But it was, uh, they would have. And they'd been working out. But, um. Yeah. Yeah. I don't really know how we got here. How did we get here? I don't know. Yeah. Who knows where we get, how we get anywhere? We have a sort of season, which is just our good old hits on some of the things they've never heard before. The greatest, the greatest hits album. Oh yeah. That'd be good. Get there. Christmas album. Very good. Something for the Valentine, you know? The microphone on the carpet. The smooth sounds of romance and unpopular opinions. I see you walked in. Hey baby, why are you standing on that escalator? Escalator. This is why I did not start singing. I didn't start a singing podcast. Oh, oh. No, it's, you know. I, uh. Yeah. There was one time, like, so I, you know, I, I came up early on, um, just with the acoustics in the bathroom as a child. I was an amazing singer, you know? I mean, it was great. You know, I could, I could really sort of work on my, my vocal cords. Um, you know, those muscles there, uh, the theme was really good, um, for, for, for the growing esophagus, esophagus windpipe. Pre-pubescent windpipe. Yeah. It helps, it helps the moisture. Yeah, exactly. So, um, that was really good. And then, you know, I got a little older and I was using it for, for evil, uh, you know, sort of, uh, as, as serenade to, to women for the purpose of fornication. I take exception that that's evil, John. I mean, that is. It's against, it's against the Lord's teaching, sorry. You just gotta, you and me, baby ain't nothing but mammals. So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Right. I mean, you're just, uh, you're just acting on what you gotta act on there. I mean, you can do it legally and ethically, but. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there was one moment, I guess I was at a karaoke booth and I, you know, I, I was wearing a, a black sort of silky leather or not silky leather, silky shirt. You know, there was, there was women in the karaoke booth, um, who I intended to woo, um, in my, in my serenade. Um, but there was this other guy who I didn't know he was an unknown, but he was, he was large, you know, he couldn't compete visually for me. I thought, I felt, you know, I was pretty confident. I think he was married too. So, you know, whatever he, no chance. Um, so I see my thing. He's, he claps a little bit of an unimpressed, but claps kind of thing. And I was like, oh, all right. Uh, and then it's his song and the voice, it's like his, his, his lips parted and the heavens opens and angels, you know, with, with harpsichords. Um, yeah, just kind of came out and it was, it was heavenly. Um, yeah. And so, so I think at that moment I was a bit, uh, the word for a singer emasculation. So I felt, I felt a moment there and I realized that, um, yeah, it's, it's hard for me to sing. So I appreciate those acknowledgements. Um, my, my days. There is, uh, there's a woman in my life, uh, one of, one of a man's important women in his life. Uh, and, uh, it's my mom, my mom, she's an important woman in my life. She, uh, she frequently will tell this story. She only has to half tell the story, but she has like, um, wait, she has a pretty strong crush. I think on a certain singer. Let me pause you. Let me pause you right there. Should we start the episode on this one? Is this a, is this an episode? No, no, this is just, this is like our background story. And this is on your topic of, of there's a, there's a certain singer, a famous singer. I think it's kind of famous for maybe not being the best looking guy out there. Uh, but has a, has a good voice. Right. I mean, it was a great singer voice and she will frequently make comments about, Oh, he's not good looking, but boy, he sounds good. Or, or whatever. I mean, again, it's my mom happily married for many, many years. It's all that stuff. Uh, I don't think there's any chance of her running into this, this gentleman, but, uh, but it's funny. It's that same thing where she, she would say like, well, you know, he's, yeah, he's you're funny looking, but man, he can sing. Yeah. Just kind of looks off dreamily into the distance. My dad's not a singer. So, yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's a little bit of an offshoot here, but like that, that whole sort of, you know, um, judging people, judging people's looks and, and doing it in a way where it's not, not direct. It is very funny. Like when you, when you're, there's probably been a situation where either you've heard or you've said, oh, that's a good looking kid. Look, they'll, they'll be attractive when they get older. Right. Like, I don't know if I've gone down a wrong path here, but, but, but there's, um, I'm waiting. I'm waiting on the edge of my seat. Where are we going with this? I don't know where I'm going, but there's a, there's, um, there's something interesting about that, that, that, um, that. All right. Okay. All right. I need the board so I can, so I can play you out. That comes out of the game. Whoa. Sorry to see that folks. We'll be back next week with a new co-host. Yeah. When we get his meds back. This is Scott and Jeff. And John. And John. And John, how you doing? Oh, good stuff. All right. Do we want to do it? So did you have somewhere to go with that? Or you're, that's all you're doing. That's it. You got anywhere to go? What with, uh, I don't know. Whatever kept me on the edge of my seat. I cut you off. No, no, no, no. I was, I was thinking like, I don't know how to, how to, how to make that sound. Let's, uh, no, I think I do. So, so it's funny. That, that sort of admission, right. Even though innocent sort of betrays like a, um, a, uh, that objectification of humans. Right. Like, oh, oh, that's a good looking person. Like, yeah, it's like, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or it does matter, but it doesn't, doesn't, yeah, it's, it's, yeah. It's different than what you're saying. And it's not related to the performance or future or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah. Good stuff. Very deep. Okay. So you should do, as we were talking about this earlier, you know, when I, when I get off track, when I start talking about things that are just not interesting to you, just say, you should like have us again, you should get back that little music board and just have like a snooze sound, like, yeah. There was a cricket sound effect on there. I spot crickets. Yeah. Like, yeah, that's great. I would, if I get that, I think it would be great for us to, um, become really tacky. Like a morning drive radio show. We got Scott and John in the morning. Baller, what's our word of the day? Whoa. Let's start doing crank calls or something. Is your refrigerator running? No answers. Let's have a scam blocker. Fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe, maybe, maybe there, maybe there, there, there's, um, we'll talk to our creative director, but I think that there's a, uh, there's an opportunity to have like a, a thematic podcast. Yeah. I think so. You know, you know, just, you know, on St. Patrick's day, we talk about green and someone says a certain word. Then we give away a $500. Oh, $500. Woo. Winner. The place you will go.