The Journey Towards Success 1

The speaker, Lucy, is discussing her podcast and her struggle to come up with new content. She wants to create a genuine community that resonates with her message. She then shares an experience helping a friend with her brick-and-mortar store launch and realizes that success is not always aesthetically pleasing. She talks about the trap of the hustle culture and how she fell into it, but also how it motivated her to start her own projects. She emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with people who expose themselves to different forms of education. Hi everyone, welcome welcome back to life with Lucy. My name is Lucy. I'm your host and On this podcast we talk about things to do with life because this laughing is very tricky and We need each other to just maneuver it and on today's episode. We are talking about the journey to success First I must say that It has been a while with me Trying to figure out what am I going to talk about next on this podcast I even shared this with a friend of mine. I told him that Man, I've been stuck When it comes to my podcast and my blogs I do have the knowledge. I do have the ideas. I do have you know the books and The material the internet is there but I don't want to come on those platforms and just call it bluff, you know, because at this at this day and age, we literally can just form anything through resources through the internet through books through knowledge that we have Accumulated from endless reading like myself and you can say the five steps of Like making sure that you succeed your dreams Seven steps of a Great workout plan. I'm just making things up, but you know, you can say all of those things It's easy, it's very easy, but I Feel like there's enough of that in the on the internet out there in the world And I don't want to come on those platforms and call it love I honestly genuinely want to create and build a a Genuine community, a community that will come when they need to hear Hear what I have to say or a community that Yeah, a community that will need to hear what I have to say and And that's just my intention even if it's just one person because I don't have much I don't have listeners at the moment It's mostly my friends who listen to those podcasts But in due time, I believe that I will have people that will resonate with The person I am will resonate with The message that I'm trying to put out there even though right now I might be Trying to figure it out But I do I do believe that in due time. I will Attract the right people that I mean to come and be part of this community so yeah, that was just a Tiny rant Anyway back to today's Topic We're talking about the journey to success. Okay, what inspired me to come here and talk about that is that The other day I was helping a friend of mine who I just launched a A Store, this is a brick-and-mortar store She has she has had a lot an online store for a long time for about two years I think okay two years is not a long time. Um, I think for about two years and It looked it looks successful, it's it looks brilliant her page Instagram is Her Website is beautiful and So she currently just launched a Brick-and-mortar store. So that was exciting, right? And I was there helping her out and it was super pleasing and There was a point after lunch time. It was way past lunch time You know when you an entrepreneur you don't have lunch you don't rest but We found time to go and eat at the back It was like a canteen thingy there. Okay, let me let me print the picture of what the store that she is currently selling in looks like it's more of a Place and that has That is bringing small businesses and giving them an opportunity to come and showcase the work You know because sometimes you don't have much Income coming in in company to pay for rent for Store a physical store, right? So this is this place is called the the fashion cube So in this place, there's literally small fashion cubicles If I can call it that just small Department stores inside this big shop For young designers for just up-and-coming talents We have something similar to this here in South Africa, it's called YDE and We have another Another similar concept that recently launched Last year 2020. It's called the egg, which is huge. It's beautiful And I always want to take people there An ex-colleague of mine took me there one time they were like We have to see this place I'm like what have you ever been at the egg I'm like the egg and they took me to that place. It's like the Disneyland of fashion is beautiful. It's amazing. But anyway, so this is like a similar thing So, yeah, so We were sitting in the back and just having lunch today. There was no cheese. There's nothing. There's just a microwave and a what is a Sink to wash it stuff wash your hands or your your dishes We're sitting on the floor and with another girl has a cubicle here in the in the fashion cubicle as long and we're just talking about she She's sharing her experience and my friend is also sharing her experience with Being a small business and how she's finding it and all that and what I realized is that It's not cute behind the scenes It's not Cute it's not Aesthetically pleasing for everyone behind the scenes. I'm an observer, you know, just sit back and just observe and listen Mainly because I Don't do well in like social anything so I am really comfortable just sitting back and just observing it just Just being weird So I was just firstly observing that we're sitting on the floor There's no chairs right here There's no chairs right here. We just forced to sit on the floor because our feet are tired We're wearing heels because it's a launch. We just we were just Holding champagne. Well, I don't drink but I was just holding it for the aesthetics we're just holding some paint in front and there was a beautiful woman playing violin there and There was nibbly beads People are smiling those cameras It's beautiful. But right now at this very moment, we are sitting on the floor in our Dresses and we just took off our heels and tossed them away and we're just tired Posture is horrible. We're just tired and From that to what the ladies were sharing about how how Hard of work they have to go through when it comes to designing and managing their stores and I was like man Like I thought I had it I thought I I thought I had it hard for me when it comes to the stuff that I'm doing but it's tears it's Not cute scenes behind the scenes for everyone for everyone from the most successful Person, even if the person looks so well put together They are crying the same Tears, they're telling the same hardship stories. They are telling you that it's not nice and it got me thinking that We are so quick to look at other people's success and be like man I want to be the I want to be that and This like especially now when it comes to social media and the people that we see on social media on Instagram and we so quick in just Comparing ourselves our lives where we are our level 5 to what looks like a level 10 to them and Just feel discouraged in the level that we in because we see a like a Very aesthetically pleasing Level if I can call it that I hope you get what I'm saying We're so quick but Honestly, I can tell you right now. It's not aesthetically pleasing for everyone for everyone behind the scenes, but people are not gonna tell you that because Firstly, they don't owe you. They don't owe you their Shortcoming stories. They don't owe you Telling you about their L's the L's they took Climbing their way how they cried to God I'm telling you even people would be like, I don't believe in God They will cry to God at one point or another they will cry to God And be like God if you if you exist if you exist God, please show up this one time I am 10. This is not a lie, but everybody is at one point Everybody is at one point more times than and they can count and they are just having it behind the scenes and Also, there is It's it's not Rising so much as it used to at the beginning of the pandemic the hustle culture Oh my goodness. I must be honest. I I kind of fell in the trap. I kind of fell in the trap. It was part of the reasons why I quit my job Quitting my job. I was miserable me but The hustle culture. Okay. Let me tell you how I got into the how I got trapped in me Steve Harvey, Steve Harvey my brother. Oh, man. I love the guy. I love I love the message that it spreads when it comes to You know believing in yourself and he he does Also talk about Trusting God's timing and having faith and all of that. That's what attracted me to Attracted me to His motivations. I used to listen. He has the short motivations that he do. I think like in his Steve Harvey show segments. He has like those two minute to five minute Shots things on they called motivate something On YouTube, so I used to watch those every single day at work During my my work times it was not allowed, but we did it anyway so I used to watch it and I got into the 95 you are in a red race, but you know and Sight-eyeing people and feeling like you are anointed you are You are different, you don't want a nine-to-five, you know I got in that I got in that and that pumps you up and then once you start falling into Into a lot of other Motivational talks they have motivational talks up to two hours and you know when you are in a nine-to-five itself It's literally a whole day, so you listen to like maybe I Don't know I've already listened to maybe like up to five hours of this motivational talks and When you feed your mind with something boy And yeah, I got pumped up and I quit my job I was like nah, man I can't be stuck in this red race I'm unique. I am a creative. I Am decent. I can't be I can't be I'm decent for greatness. I need riches. You can't do rich working in nine-to-five I was that person. I was that person so I can't be like distinct the hustle culture where I was I fell in in it as well, but it motivated me. I must I must tell you that it motivated me to actually Do and not be fearful of Actually starting the things that you want to start because sometimes you need sometimes you need that voice. You need that motivation and when you're around People that only know what they know like Colleagues they only know what they know. They only know work. They only know in nine-to-five Unless they you have people around you are exposed to other things or we expose themselves to other Forms of educating themselves, you know other than what they see around them and I don't have that I didn't have that and I could only look at YouTube for that and self-help books and I'll pump myself up. I have posters. I still have posters to this day of like motivational talks of Affirmations and you know reminders that you're great Yeah, so those things they just Pump you up, especially if you if you feel isolated Isolated because I've always felt isolated and I'll be like nobody understands Why am I talking about this but yeah, so the hustle culture does also Give us Like a different and unrealistic idea of what The success like the journey towards success looks like They will talk about like you cannot be sleeping seven to eight hours if you want to be successful because While you are sleeping somebody else is making the money somebody else is becoming rich and you are sleeping and You have to work hard for what you want wake up at 5 a.m. Wake up at 4 a.m. Take cold showers. I was like the cold shower thing I don't know and you know, I'll try to wake up at 5 a.m. But I have nothing to do okay, I'll try to meditate and I will try to create a schedule for myself and I suck it and suck it Schedules man, they give me an anxiety Routines, they give me such an anxiety because I'm like I have to do all those things I'm just a What you call it I just flow I just Like in my mind, I know I'll be like, okay I know I have to do that and that and I just flow with it if I if I do the other one before Another one I'm fine with it. But if I have to stick to a routine a schedule, oh my goodness I feel like I'm dying But it works for other people But anyway, that was not the point So the hustle culture as well and I've seen this with with with my friend who has a brand Man she works hard, but I don't think she is like in the hustle culture thingy I think it's just a matter of Just drive and that drive can be Fueled by fear I used to have that I used to have that fear of I Feel like I'm running out of time. I feel like I don't have time I'm in my I'm in my mid-twenties. I'm Going when I used to be I'm not in my mid-girl. I'm not in my mid-twenties anymore. You that time is long past But yeah, especially when I'm in my mid-twenties 25 At 26. Oh man. I was like I am running out of time and I was just rushing rushing rushing to no way and Being a fueled by fear to just like not sleep and Work on my blog and work on all those things go from one thing to another without actually giving it time and watering it and Being patient with it And yeah, so I I see that with her, but I maybe it's it's something else, but I don't want to I don't want to assume but I see the I see the habits that I used to have That she's her she has she has them, but you know another thing is that a Lot of people that are currently successful A lot of people that are currently successful Right now they they they have testimonies of The success coming from working hard, so that's also That's also something that we cannot Look away from hard work does pay off But sometimes you have to take care of your health you have to really take care of your health That day I had to ask her because she was she was having stomach aches and she was Looking like she's just going to pass out anytime, and I was like did you eat when was the last time you ate? What did you eat and she couldn't remember and I'm like you and and this girl has been working 24 hours they don't sleep They don't sleep with her partner. They constantly working and I'm like ma'am you have to take care of yourself You're young you cannot you cannot have this all people diseases Because if you don't take care of yourself right now, you're going to have them and I'm like let's go get something to eat Some water get get water in your system. She didn't even know that Stomach aches sometimes can be caused by dehydration like get water in your system and all those things man they It just hurts my heart because Sometimes success does not have to be Sacrificing your health Sacrificing sleep all the time. Yes, you can sacrifice sleep sleep at like one point and Some other times but not all the time But yeah, my point is that Sometimes Most of the time most of the time what you see the end results the end results when you're comparing yourself to Other people it's like it's just five percent It's just five percent of what they went through. You don't know the sacrifices that they went through. You don't know What it looks like behind the scenes. You don't know The cries you don't know You don't know what they went through you honestly don't know what they went through so that's why we have to constantly remind ourselves that Your journey Will look like what your journey is meant to look like and your end result will look like what your end result is meant to look like don't compare it to somebody else because You're just setting yourself up for failure. She's setting yourself up for disappointment as well and Another point that I want to bring is that We must define what success looks like to you Because For me for an example, I I've always wanted to be a model always wanted to be like since my Teenage years Like I'm going to be a model. I'm going to be an international model. Not just a model from South Africa I'm going to be an international model Going to be successful this is one thing that it's going to get me out of this country and I'm going to travel the world and I'm gonna be great and all that and this was This was my goal, this was my dream for the longest time y'all and It came with challenges like it came with rejections not getting booked Thinking that I'm not skinny enough and For a long time having Issues with my with like the food food I eat I don't know if I had this eating disorder or not or body dysmorphia, but I I Think I might have but I don't want to diagnose self-diagnose, you know but I recently about a month ago, I was going through my Google photos and I picked up I saw pictures that I took when Back in 2018 and I was so skinny compared to how I look right now I'm relatively slim Not skinny right now But back then I was so skinny and mind you I was trying to lose weight I thought I was fat and like look at those skinny legs, and I didn't even see that I Genuinely have always been trying to lose weight and I remember It being so bad that I lost my hair back when I was still in university I Remember like seeing here at Like on my shoulders and my ways was coming from and I'm trying to pet it and I'm trying to See where it's coming from and then a chunk of hair came out of my head What is happening So that's just to show that I've had a problem and I've always been on a diet like a lifetime And I was so sad when I was looking at those pictures, I'm like man I've always been trying to lose weight, and I'm always on a diet Everybody who knows me knows that I'm always like cautious in what I eat I'm like I like there was a time where I didn't eat rice for probably like two to three years and carbs and all of those things and Yeah and There's this like this is before I defined what success was for me and success for me was to become a model to become an international model and then Earlier this year when I was Discovering self-love discovering who I am I Realized that I actually um I don't have the passion for modeling anymore, and I had Had a shoot with a friend of mine and On that shoot. I was just like I was not excited Honestly, and I don't like to force myself in anything in any situation It's either. I love it, or I don't I can't be in between I can't pretend like I love it And I was like man Like I thought I was gonna be we were building up the suit for the longest time like Communicating the ideas and on the day of the shoot. I was just not excited. It was just like man and And When I had to admit to myself that this is not something I want to do anymore I Felt like I was dying. I felt like was betraying myself. I was sad. I was like What I've pumped myself up all these years like since I was a teenager since I was 16 That I want to be a model. I want to be an international model this is something that is going to take me places and You know make me successful make me Make me like the person that I see myself becoming and now it was not and I felt I honestly felt like I was betraying myself because for the longest time I even told myself that if I don't achieve this dream. I will never forgive myself and It felt like I was dying. I Literally felt like I was dying, but I knew that I don't want it anymore like it has caused so much harm with me and I had to accept that slowly slowly and Yeah, and taking down all affirmations all Motivation that came with me wanting to be a model and Just like tossing them in the bin and it sucked. It really sucked But yeah, and I had to ask myself Why why did I where did it just come from why did I want to be a model and the main thing was that? Honestly Wanted to be a model because I needed to prove myself I needed to prove myself that I was pretty enough because when I was younger I Used to be called like or picked last when it comes to who's prettier because I was dark-skinned and I was skinny and I had I didn't have the best teeth. I still don't have the best teeth, but I was told myself. I'm going to get braces and Yeah, and being a model was going to prove that I am pretty I'm beautiful look at me, I'm a model and Yeah for the longest time I've carried myself like I was a model and Affirmed me affirmed to myself that I'm going to be one. I'm already one and part of me when I realized that it's no longer a a Passion of mine or Like I was no longer interested in pursuing and part of me literally felt like I was dying I was betraying myself So yeah so with success It's really it's really important that you try to redefine what success looks like to you and what it is and Understand what Influences have You had that have made you Chase the success that you're trying to chase whatever you want to be whatever success looks like to you whatever goals or Ambitions that you are trying to fake to chase right now Do they come from a genuine place do they come from a place of love or are they coming from a place of fear or in sync insecurity Ask yourself those questions For me right now My definition of success is just to be in a place that brings me peace and Joy, and I'm not doing it for Trying to prove a point Because I've done that for the longest time with a lot of things trying to prove a point by being smart. Oh my goodness Because it was not the previous I will be the smartest Always the smartest in that room. I'll be the smartest in the class. I'll be the nice girl, I will be The funny one, you know, I've always done things to try to prove a point man And I had to I had to be honest with myself with this and it wasn't it was not easy I can tell you that it was not easy at all to actually Confirm That all those things came from insecurities All these goals all these ambitions even this personality In this personality that I have but I'm I'm grateful for it man. Oh, man I'm grateful for this Personality, but yeah, even this personality that I have it came from Insecurities. So yeah, block out the nonsense block out the noise block out the External influences be with yourself be with Yourself and ask yourself Why do I want those things? Why? Do I want to be successful in this thing? And if it's just generally you want to be successful because this makes you happy This brings you joy. This is your passion by all means go for it, but So my final point is that Don't change your progress By comparing your Level 5 to what looks like a level 10 of someone else and Yeah, because that can really Put you back and discourage your progress and make it seem like you are not Going anywhere or Accomplishing With With Success We need to understand that it's really not Sprint it's you just jogging your way there and Sometimes it's going to be a walk and sometimes you might need to sit and Drink water and meditate and Look at your progress and Work out What other route you need to take? You're not going to constantly be running and Chasing Saying So, yeah, um I hope this episode helps And I hope that I've been saying and for a while um Yeah, I hope that Someone can at least take one thing out of it I will see you guys the next time I come around Keep safe friends