episode 1 season 3-the role of men

The podcast hosts, Nate and Shelby, discuss the roles of men and women in today's society. They talk about how men have lost their identity and become lazy, while women have become more masculine. They believe that society has confused and divided gender roles, leading to a lack of respect and understanding between men and women. They also discuss the importance of men stepping up and reclaiming their roles, and how open conversations and community involvement can help bridge the gap between genders. You're supposed to give it like that, you know that, but I can't get that high. Welcome to word of mouth podcast with nate and shelby we're back at it here again another day season three season three another season what the what wow another season shell hey if this is season three that we've already went through two seasons really is that what that means i was going somewhere with that so you know that how there are four seasons um in the year so this is already season three we're almost done no we're gonna keep going um anyway yes season three brand new season we're supposed to be uh you're supposed to see our faces now but you will we're working on it we keep saying that but really we are promise you we are we're working on it and we'll have it up here real soon but we wanted to kick it off today man talking about some issues of course that we do honestly talk about it all the time but we don't dig into it enough to where we dialogue from a perspective of just real authentic tangible normal conversation that is not degrading nor is it offensive but we have to just display the truth and men talking to you today that's something that we're going to talk about starting season three off uh just about men and our roles as men i would love for shelby to kick it off and she's over there thinking about some different things so she's gonna ask me questions today but um men and we um we've lost some roles there uh in this day and age things are a little bit different we act different we're treating our spouses our loved ones different what's going on that's the big question yes yes that's the big question today what's going on how can we get back in right standing um and allow at least women to know across the board that men are gonna be there men are gonna take their rightful place one of my favorite movies is lion king i've said it before and uh i can't rafiki rafiki was talking to simba right and he popped him upside the head and he was like why did you do that he said it doesn't matter it's the past and then once he realized what he was running with that where are you gonna learn come on that's her movie i love it but he realized that he had to take his place back and to reclaim his territory and we have that opportunity now men to reclaim that and be the men that we're supposed to be so i want to talk about some real issues today some real real issues so what's up it's a beautiful day today seriously it is good gotcha from a woman perspective from a woman perspective have men lost their identity their identity from a woman's perspective have men lost their identity man that's such a loaded question it is a loaded question because a woman is answering this but how can you answer if you're not a man i can only ask yeah i can only answer from my perspective my opinion which you know is all this is yes um i think i think i don't know that they've i don't know that it's been men's fault necessarily i do think that there has been a lot of confusion brought into the roles of both sexes i think there's been a lot of division brought into it um i think we paint with a broad brush and so if if one man's bad they're all bad wow if one man's weak they're all weak you know what i mean like i think in society that's what we do we like to to generalize and put people in boxes where we feel they're not a risk to us if we can keep them in that that's a can i tell you like how amazing of what you just said is true coming from a woman because women have said that indirectly over time that if if if it's one man all men i'm gonna give you an example if if they have ever been dogged out by a man and who hasn't they have put every other man in that box from a woman thank you for saying that because i we've had to fight not to be the ex but don't you you then don't do that what do the same thing to us like if they've been no okay boom quick answer i think that's true i mean i do agree with you i think that's true because women are um more emotional and tend to be more connected to that yes yeah absolutely that's my story i'm sticking to it okay that's good to me yes um men speaking from a man uh yeah nah i don't judge him based upon last not not the characteristics maybe something that would look familiar yeah red flags that pop up absolutely we talked about that before but not the characteristics now okay but women have and i get it you just said it i get it because it is a well it it it turns on those same emotions and so then they're like like i'm not they don't want to have that that trigger they don't want to be triggered like that again but isn't it already your thought or a woman's thought i can't speak for everyone but i think as a as a whole in society if i'm being completely honest i think men have gotten a raw deal lately and i think that we have um really uh demoralize them um kind of dehumanize them and it hasn't been good for anybody i think that instead of allowing each person to be an individual we have lumped everyone into categories wow whether it's women or men um you know if i if i speak on this i'm going to tell you that my philosophy is going back to the 50s and 60s when all of a sudden they put women into the workforce and my perspective is that it was a ploy from the government to get more tax dollars and so they that was just what they programmed and and that's what they made us think was necessity it totally started dissolving everything from that point on the family unit yes um men's security within themselves women's security within themselves and don't get me wrong i'm not a woman basher at all i'm not a man basher i believe both sexes have equally important roles in the world always have from the get-go um and they're both vitally important and they both need each other i believe women can do anything i believe men can do anything i don't so don't go off on me about i'm not a woman's liver or whatever i'm really not but anyways who's gonna go off on you i don't know they bet oh i don't i just i'm just saying um anyways i think that was that was the beginning of the downfall gotcha in general of everything relationships marriages family unit being able to respect each other as opposite sex that has gone out the window now i've uh i've noticed that quite a bit that there's no more respect now for women it used to be a time maybe i'm old school on this one but um yeah i got two or three things that i'm gonna stick with for the rest of my life i still believe in chivalry i do believe that men can be gentlemen yes they can open your door yes they can provide protect and cover i do believe that 100 i will i've taught my son i will continue to teach my children that that is and will always be true another thing i believe um that we have gotten away from is the respect of women when you feel the need i'm gonna say it because of the field that i'm in i have to say it correctly it's not okay to put your hands on a woman if she she hasn't assaulted you in any kind of way because men are men can still overtake a one is a weaker vessel like we talked about earlier yeah that's what the word says i believe in protecting yourself i believe that um and a woman should not lay hands on a man we shouldn't it goes both ways but because of the strength within men yes they definitely should not period period that's that's definitely my story and i don't give a crap who don't like that part call me i'll tell you to your face don't put your hands on a woman um so some of those things i probably won't i won't change on um however i i do think that men have become just a tad bit lazy and we've allowed um women to take the role of a man um yes i i yeah me raise my hand i did it i lived it so i understand that yes absolutely but yeah that's what life brought me and that's how i handle it i don't i don't quite understand it because you do still want to be the man but you're not fulfilling the duties yeah do men even know what their duties are anymore thank you do they know what their role is anymore there it is there it is do women know their role that i was just about to go there we own it now we're in the meat of it let's talk about it okay let's talk about it so men i mean like do we do we honestly know our roles and women what is a role what is a role like to a woman if you ask me i'm gonna go back to how it used to be because i'm old school so you do know that that that's out the window like they don't even think that's why i talked about chivalry right and the respect of a woman like they don't that's not even common anymore oh i know and i'm raising two boys and i'm not sure that they even fall into that category right now and i have a daughter too so i see both sides of it um but i would say that i believe everything goes in cycles and just like we're talking about the entitled generation that's underneath us that we've raised i think that that that also will cycle back if we don't get so destroyed by technology that we don't lose all communication and ability to relate honestly that's inevitable right now no i'm not gonna believe that i have hope in what there's people getting laid off and fired from jobs because of technology oh i know but y'all didn't see that coming i mean come on now yeah that's anyway let's not go off on a tangent about that because that's a whole another situation that is a big one but i'm an old school person i believe that you know i go back to the word and what the word says and i talk about it all the time and how we are supposed to be um a benefit to each other we're supposed to complement each other we're supposed to work together as a unit because we offset each other's flaws and weaknesses and that's how god created us so yeah i for a while i was like anti-relationship anti-marriage all that stuff after i got divorced but my perspective has changed um but i regardless of marriage or whatever we're still designed that way to be a complement to each other men and women are supposed to work together we're not supposed to be opposing forces and we have become opposing forces 100 and to take it a step further not only have we become opposing but now we're in competition yeah because of the workforce and stuff like that so why are we competing with each other man and woman competing that's crazy to me well let's not even get into the gender identity issues where men are actually competing against women in sports and they shouldn't be in my opinion i can't out i don't even want to go it's on those toes but uh that's a whole nother conversation it is all another conversation but that's that's you know women are being dissolved and men are being uh discounted dehumanized was a great word to use earlier but women are i mean women are becoming obsolete honestly that's what society or that's what the media and everything wants us to believe because you can't define what a woman is anymore they can't have their own sporting events they can't have their own autonomy and be we're now birthers or whatever what the hell is that i'm i'm not a birthing whatever they call it now human i don't know no i'm a woman i'm a mother i birthed a child yes a few of them um because i am a woman anyways we're going off on another that's that's that is a that's a conversation that the need to take place because men are stepping up trying to take the role of a woman men you would never have a period no no you would never understand a menstrual cycle no not that they're fun to have because believe me we'd love to share the misery with you but it ain't gonna happen that's not how god designed it men you would never birth a child no but if you don't understand your identity and how god created you you're never going to understand that if you don't understand the whole basis of why we're supposed to be what we are you're never going to understand that but going back to the roles of men and women that's one of the roles that we subjected ourselves men have subject ourselves to because now we feel like we're inadequate now we feel like because we are dehumanized i might as well just be a woman now i might as well just you know give up and quit or just be a hermit i don't what what why can't we just go back to the basics and realize what god created from the beginning and what that role is that part is real simple i can read it it's real simple i've given you power and dominion over everything you have the right to speak and to decree and to declare over any living thing our role is to protect lead to lead to cover to secure raise our children in that way let them let the women the mothers be the nurturers in which they are i've always struggled with this and i'll probably need uh just another opinion on this because i being that my mom was everything to me i can't see in my mind i can't see a man being a can't see a man being a nurturer can it happen i don't know i i personally can't see it reason being because my mom was that nurturer she was the nurturer women carry that right so i don't and that's one of our roles right but okay if you live in society today it tells you that men are supposed to be a nurturer and that men are supposed to be able to do everything that women do it doesn't you know that's part of the thing is that society tells us that we're supposed to be able to do both of each other's jobs and both of each other's roles and then we suck at both of those things because we're not staying to our own design and so then everything just snowballs out of that where you know i'm pissed at my husband because he's not nurturing the kids because that's because that's what i'm told is accepted by society nowadays and he's pissed at me because i'm not disciplining the kids wow wow and so but see that's the whole thing we're you guys we're being so programmed all of this is so it's everything against the word of god it's everything opposite of the word of god and they're we're buying into all this bullcrap big time yeah signed up for buying into it right and hey we accept it okay whenever you yeah we'll do it yeah i'll be more masculine and i i have become more masculine i'm not saying i haven't i absolutely have i'll own it it wasn't something i was planning to do it wasn't something that i ever thought i would do but that's what i had to do to make life go on i'm still a woman believe me and i still have all the feminine characteristics i just had to pick up a masculine role but there's too much of that going on going in both directions yes it is and if a woman i i do have to say if a woman doesn't live in her feminine and i hate to say energy but in that femininity it's hard for a man to to live in his masculinity because he has nothing to butt up against it's a competition it's like two men at the gym i was there this morning it's it's like i'm looking at the guy over here he's looking at me and we're just you know hey what up dude what up dude that's it so that's how we are in a home too hey what up dude hey what up dude there's a lot of cohabitating i'm sure i mean i lived it for quite some time so i think a woman need to to live her feminine ways and which she was created to be but we're losing that we're losing that whole thing we're losing the whole basis of what that is and we're losing the whole basis of what masculinity is and and the more we let them skew us into thinking that we can all be a drawn and drawn gymnast what is it that's the wrong word i'm gonna come back to you with that word once i think of it but we're not supposed to be we're not supposed to become things we are not is what i'm thinking of but i got you no androgynous where you can be one sex and then together yeah yes yes yes you can just float back and forth yeah no that's that that wasn't the creation it really wasn't um and if god had thought that that was the best plan believe me he would have created that i believe so yeah because there there was a time period very small very very small time period that man was just by himself very very small though but um once god realized how lonely he was he put him to sleep and created something that was so amazing and i can't understand why that thing that he created that was so amazing can't be amazing today because they carry two three five 17 rows we're still amazing amen yes you all are women you're amazing promise who you are men are too and they're you know i i don't want to like we're painting with a broad brush like right now we are we're we're but we're kind of doing that to make a point i want to be critical to the men because we do have to take our place back and we've lost it so i'm gonna paint with that narrow brush and say men step up and let's get back into character but how do they do that if they don't know how if they've been raised by if they've only well see now you you were raised by a mom only single parent you were able to figure it out facts but there are some out there that are not going to how do they do it if they haven't experienced a masculine father if they've experienced a masculine mother because she had to become that and and for the girls vice versa okay maybe it'll take more men step it up that chooses to walk in their masculine ways and say hey hey abrah come on let's go out to eat man let's let's let's talk about this hey men let's have some round table discussions hey men let's let's discuss some things that we bottle up so much and we never talk about let's have some men discussions for real because we have this surface stuff because we want to look a certain way around other men and we don't want to display any type of he emotions because we think that they're going to look at us a certain way or confusion absolutely and i do want to say though because i have volunteered most of my life in some form or fashion whether it be pta room mom you know soccer mom whatever i would say the amount of women that step up to volunteer and be part of the community is much greater than men that's that's been from beginning to me from what i've seen now men work you know and that's the traditional role true but so did i and i did that stuff so i think that is a weakness i think that area is a weakness that men need to start getting involved through community stuff in bettering the world and not playing video games or i don't know i mean i'm not trying to be judgmental i'm really not but that is a fact men have to start becoming more involved in community effort i agree i'm gonna talk about i'm gonna bring something up about the women here in just a second i feel like that again if we don't men are not even conversating anymore we're we're so quiet when we're around other people because we don't want to look a certain way you don't want your soft underbelly exposed so that's why we don't we don't even know a role i can't even conversate with someone but see a lot of men would say that is your role that you don't get to do that that you don't get to be soft in any way it's not being soft it's actually just hearing someone else that they can relate to me to to build a relationship is to be able to relate if me and you if we're gigging and we're talking about you know everything um as you your significant other if me and him are conversating our conversation is going to be different from me and you yeah because we're men yeah so in that we don't do that no more like we're not even talking but part of that is considered masculine part of that inability or it's not inability the closed offness is part of the masculine role in some form and fashion that's how men have been raised somebody messed up no and i guess i didn't get it growing up so you gotta talk gotta talk come on well i think that yes men need an outlet like they need to have a group of friends that they can go hang with and and women are going to be able to relate to everything do that i couldn't go to my mom and this is transparent i couldn't go to my mom and say mom i got a hair bomb yeah now sometimes i had to because that's the only parent i had right but man i need men because they can relate not just physical i'm talking about just some different things they can relate to yeah but we're not even having that conversation how can women have and it's been a proven fact women can have a billion slumber parties and talk about everything get together and your girlfriends and y'all sip on some wine and have a good time men yeah we may get a beer and toast at your wedding reception and that's it that's it we don't have conversation well get your shit together men come on over to the dark side now women for men to even want to do that there is a role i do believe that women can help in this because women can be very critical yes we are good at that oh and unappreciative there's a list that i can go down i'm gonna say we're critical and and that criticalness can can really um it can destroy a man to be honest because the words that that a woman can say can tear a man apart literally i don't i'm not going to disagree with that so i think um encouragement from a woman um stand by um to build up from just if you love him let him know that you love him talk about him like he's superman like if he's superman like if he's carrying a bunch of groceries in the house be like oh look at them biceps oh baby boy you look good if he's out there mowing the lawn baby take off your shirt i don't care if you got a 600 pack three kegs baby take off your shirt you look good mowing that lawn but it's not just about that it's appreciating the help it's appreciating the effort it's appreciate it's acknowledging that stuff and women can can really build up a man in that if they did acknowledge it but not a lot of women are acknowledging they're like man you know i can do better i'm talking about even in the bedroom that's women said i can do that's another conversation for another day so um so with that i think that it and this is not a bad thing on women i feel like women can play a role in the encouraging more oh absolutely we yes we should we should yeah encourage and and yeah throughout every aspect of society not just women we all need to encourage each other more but yes if since that's what we're discussing right now or the opposite sex absolutely from just only and i'm only talking to the women right there like you can if you if you told them you know that you do believe in them that you do you know you stand by them for real i think he'll he'll try harder he might you know pushing get off the game system if you said hey i'm with you like we can do this thing together now i'm a psychology major so there's some things that a woman can say that man man that man will be the best man ever not to say that you gotta manipulate his mind but do understand that you are very powerful nowhere in the scripture would you read that a man carry virtue it's woman so you you all carry that power and favor absolutely favor 100 so you can't you play a major major role i mean that goes back to the garden yeah but we're supposed to yeah that's why we're made for each other in the design that he created yes yes so back to the men if they are doing that and you still ain't doing nothing then we got a problem so yeah we we we need a man sleepover oh my break out your pajamas bro we gotta talk we gotta have a round table you can't even be you know we can't even be we can't even be men around men anymore like we become robots around other men really yes i'm not a man so i don't know that's why i'm asking the question be honest with you i know women don't do it because women can be like girl you can see a woman in the store and you can be over there by the the produce and oh yeah christy and i did it the other day and there it is and it was an hour later and i'm like oh my gosh man man they'd be like what up what up all right bro you good thanks all right take care that's it knowing that we're dying inside knowing that we need somebody just to hear us just to understand us but we won't do it we won't do it so what's the role of the woman in your life as that person to hear you i believe and you because we've shut men off we want to open up to the men to the women but we're scared that they may we're so scared honesty that they may look at us like wimps punks and all those other words that come along with that really yes because she's supposed to be your softest place to fall you would think well that's how it's supposed to be but once her perspective changed and she see you as a wimp yeah that's over and then that's when men start seeking other i don't know about that i'm just i just i don't know if you've let her down enough then yeah she's gonna see you as a wimp but it takes time to get there i don't think you start off in that place so if you don't wake up to what she's trying to tell you then yeah you might become a wimp in her eyes and i wouldn't call it a wimp but it's just that she's having to take on everything and you're staying in your same place if if and this goes both ways i'm sure if someone feels that they're not worth your effort then they're going to give up on you okay yeah that's that's definitely true yeah so if a woman feels that she's not worth your effort or i'm sure it goes both ways they're gonna quit well men don't look i can't say for sure that all men look at it that way um we're not expecting for you all to um we're not expecting for you all to give up on us we do want some encouragement but we don't know how to say hey babe i want some encouragement hey babe i want you to stick by me we don't know how to say it and so we expect you all to to know it based upon our actions i guess now i get that but yeah take it take a moment and just say you know you know what would really be great is if you would you know just i don't know acknowledge when i did something or or say thanks or that that's too far i'll take it that to me would be i'm offending you now just like me saying hey you know i don't like your hair like that oh don't say that i'm saying you know that would kill her right sorry you're done it's just like yeah don't be wearing those jeans don't don't so that that would be offensive if i said hey you know i think you need the encouragement like i don't want to offend you in saying that i didn't want you to pick it up i didn't want you to okay then make an example out of someone else and say you know i i feel bad that so-and-so doesn't think comparison kicks in oh i've been there so i'll be like hey you know so-and-so man they were having a conversation and you know their marriage was like blah blah blah because she communicated with him and he could oh so you blah blah blah yeah i've been there see how that didn't work that's right okay just throw things out there it worked that one didn't work uh but i've learned over time how you say something is better than what you say i give you an example um i heard a person say it this way i went to i went to uh my cousin's performance and going to her performance it was at a high school he went to a performance um personally i thought the performance was crap like it was terrible um i think we've all been there for someone but when she came out and i saw her after the performance she's like hey how was it at that moment because of her excitement she had just got off stage i would have tore her apart so i had to find a way to say it to her that she understand not that i was lying lying to her but i had to find a way to say that i was there for that encouragement i was like man the entire thing man they had this the way they set it up the setup was amazing i think all characters fulfilled their position you're really digging for something yeah man i went around the whole mulberry bush but i didn't make her feel like crap right later on a couple weeks later um i was like hey remember when i went to the performance i didn't understand anything i felt like it was crap but it was later on that she can accept it and she didn't but she didn't get mad at you for being dishonest no because i was not dishonest with her everything else that i pointed out was very truthful i never once said oh man that performance was great i was like the lighting was the costumes was yeah so i i never lied to her i didn't want to destroy her that day and i feel like men if we want these women to give us encouragement find a way to tell them you know them you sleep with them i don't know find a way to to communicate that that it's not critical now some women may just be like hey well just tell me oh okay well i hate your hair your breath stink and you're ugly i don't see much hope in that relationship right there i don't know what i'm just saying oh my god but i can't i i wouldn't i wouldn't do that i don't know how but i think man we got to find a way i can only speak from my own experience and i i was in a relationship where i was told constantly what they thought i wanted to hear instead of what honesty was and now i am so hungry for honesty like don't you dare tell me what you think i want to hear so that to me isn't there a difference isn't there a difference between brutal honesty and just being honest well brutal honesty is kind of how i am so you would want it brutally no i don't i think there's nice and respectful ways to say things that are hurtful right absolutely no don't be brutally honest when you're talking to someone that you're in a relationship with there's kinder ways to do things but i'm just saying that i also don't want someone telling me what they think i want to hear because to me that's weak man i hope you're catching hold to this wow thank you for saying even now that i'm hearing you thank you for saying that because and it also shows that you like our relationship has gotten to the point where you don't value communicating anything because you're just telling me what i want to hear and that's what we're going to go off of but what you want to hear will be a lie exactly and eventually what i what i lived out is that because he told me only what i wanted to hear i'm making all these decisions thinking i'm making the right decisions and then something blows up and he blames me for the whole thing because he didn't say i don't agree with you gotcha gotcha or maybe we should look at it this way i got it makes sense but yeah i think if you're if you're just telling me what i want to hear then there's no real honest communication going on so that's that's to me i'm looking at it you can either be brutally honest you can be honest or you can lie i feel like it's three now i never want to be brutal brutally honest with the person that i'm with or the person that i'm i'm in love with and i'm speaking life into i think love prevents you from doing that right if you're truly in love if you're not then yes you're you're probably going to be brutally honest and it's going to be hurtful but honesty is needed um the bible gives an account where god chastised whom he loves you have to give true authentic love to a person and love at times may not be what you want to hear how many times god has told you something that you didn't want to hear and god told you to do something that you didn't want to do i asked you that shelby because i know you don't however i think with with each other we should be able to do the same thing and not lie about it if i know that that pisses me off i need to tell you it pisses me off well and i think the other thing is that men need to lead women have taken over the leadership role and that's yeah you can do it because i did it but and i'm speaking from experience i didn't want to do it but i had no choice somebody had to do it so i had to do it but that's not the design of things and honestly i don't want to do it anymore i'm so burned out of doing it and it's like i just want someone to make a decision that's not me it's okay with just wanting to be a woman like that's okay what is that no i've heard women apologize for just wanting to be a woman like we we should want you all to be a woman no you can't walk on my left side because that's closer to the street get on my right ain't no questions yes you're gonna be indecisive so we have in chinese tonight you know just some stuff just do just put your foot down and just yeah leave leave it's okay it's okay but there's a lot of women that don't want that they don't appreciate that because it's been lost well then if they're not willing to take that step to want to appreciate it that's another that's another that's a that's a turn around the wrong corner what what you confused yourself on that one i don't know what to say for women that don't want that and i've experienced that though i have like i well they can live their life the way they want to i mean we all can it's just that's not i think going to perpetuate society in the way that god designed it because we've gotten so far from that as it is already yes yes we have and we're just continuing to stray further and further away from it so this should be the breaking point of at least turning around and looking back and saying hey let's change some things using word of mouth podcast i don't know about that but at least just you know have conversation let's talk about it ladies i think we have to appreciate the different roles that each sex has and and value what they bring to the table yes and what they provide for us as the opposite sex thank you for providing children well you have a role in it we do have a role but sure men if you lay down to make a baby then you better stand up and raise that kid and period support period men take care you kids please women be a woman be a woman the word woman what does that mean this is how i got it okay because you're gonna have to clarify the word woman when adam looked at that woman that was standing there i think he said wow man my story and you're sticking to it i think that's what he said um because that's what you all are you should wow us every day and that's that we should now wait a second we should you would hope that you would but it's not our responsibility to wow you i'm just going to tell you that straight up i think the way you worded that was a little wrong let me flip it okay so i i think that in our feminine no i think that every time you wake up every time a woman wakes up if i'm with you and you wake up that morning and i turn over and i look at you man that's a wow moment to me okay well that's not how it came out the first time so i just wanted it so for women continue to wow us with that like wow us with your femininity yes all the characteristics characteristics that you all carry and and be that in a secure way not in a way where you're scared because we didn't provide the security so now you're kind of wobbling on the table saying should i be the man today or should it be the woman today yeah that should never be a question in a woman's mind if we if we both dwelt in our masculinity and our femininity and stayed in those places life would be a lot simpler and a lot more beautiful i agree can i ask you a question oh no here we go do you think men should have some feminine ways take your time no why you know why i was coming i just don't think it worked i just don't think it worked because it's not in line and we're not yeah but that's because society pushed us into that right if if we went back to the way we were a long time ago we didn't have that okay and and it's hard i mean i can speak it's hard to it's hard to get back into your femininity when you have been working in an industry with men and you have been in a relationship where you were leading because someone had to it's hard to usurp that stuff i mean you know how i am and i have a tough time with it um so it's not i mean it's not something you just snap your fingers and it's you're better you're you're you're changed and it probably works the same way with men who have gone the opposite direction i don't know because i'm not a man but if we would just dwell in what we were created to be and we would appreciate the opposite sex for what they were created to be and what they're supposed to balance us with we'd be in a much better place if we could just get back to that if we could just get back to appreciating people period so wouldn't that wouldn't that take for men to tap into their feminine ways for them to understand that they are masculine i don't even know what i just said that didn't make sense to me before it was coming out okay hold on let me go back no what are you talking emotion like what are you saying emotions are only feminine they're not emotions are much heavier in the feminine but emotions are not only feminine i agree with it i agree with that um somehow some way men have to understand women so we have to tap into some uh good luck with that we have to tap into something to try to understand them if we don't i mean it's gonna be bad for the both of us well try to understand your woman don't try to understand women as a whole yes i agree because there's a bunch of this weird no don't say that no but you're right um it goes back to not putting everybody in the same box that's the thing don't generalize okay have you ever saw that movie i think it was a male gifts and it was called uh what women want yes okay he tapped into that area where he were able to hear the thoughts right and it helped him um not only women for his game though but it helps him to understand yes the characteristics of the personalities because women are so multitaskable and i made that word up as i was going multitask they do so many different things and you all brain are like everywhere like right now we're podcasting but i know that you're probably thinking about three other things later on but men are not that way i don't know what you're talking about yeah men are not that way so it it's hard for us to tap into that it's hard for me to figure out why you guys can't do because we can't i'm so serious i want a man to comment to say that you can do three things at once this woman is sitting here podcasting she's working on something else in her head and already wrote three books period we can't do that i'm focusing on this and until i okay so i have to appreciate the fact that y'all are just tunnel vision one thing at a time period men comment please period this is it that's all you get and then until we turn the corner that's when we go focus on this that's it it takes time man i want to be like you i applaud women that do it take care of the children cook a meal work work cater to him and then get up and do it back all over again plus you still have womanly stuff that go on us we work no i mean you you i would hope or are participating in things at home absolutely when we get home yeah y'all doing it at work you don't see the difference no i get because you're talking about what when we at work we at work when we have the gym with the gym oh my god when you're at work as a mother you get a phone call from school you get a phone call from the from the coach you have to figure out what the snack is for the you know whatever's happening after school but men could participate in those things they choose not to yeah in my experience we could i agree we could we could i feel like um in in the household when my kids were much younger um i learned how to do it because i didn't want all of the pressure on my wife at the time so i knew that if she was going to deal with the food part i'm picking them up i'm dropping them off i got i knew that okay i i'm picking them up i'm dropping them off i got i knew that okay i have to help her from my perspective i want to help her so she don't come home drained because later on you know i'm saying so i just i don't want her to be all drained out so i'm i'm doing my part okay but can i just say because i think a lot of i never even thought about this i got it i in my relationship i got sucked into the fact that he was so miserable in every part of his life and he worked for our company and blah blah blah that i wanted to make everything as easy for him as possible well then i enabled completely enabled him to do nothing so i created my own monster and i did the same with the kids because i didn't want them to feel burdened because they had so much going on at home that i i just wanted life to be easy so i took on the burdens of everybody and that was my own doing and i'll be i admit that 100 but i was only like today years old a couple of years ago where it was like you know what if he had lived in that house by himself he would have had to do the yard work he would have had to do the laundry he would have had to cook the meals he would have had to vacuum he would have had to clean the house he would have had to participate in some form or fashion but that's not what i created in my lifestyle that was not what i created in my home so yes if you're married or you're together with someone and you're sharing a domicile please participate because i agree you you would have to participate if that other person wasn't there that other person to be burned out and not only burned out now you're you're provoking anger rage like all of these different things because you're looking at the other person like man you don't see me or you're just breaking someone's heart but yes uh-huh like i said if it's if if you're not worth their effort then what do you yeah yeah but see i created it i i i will take ownership of that i i enabled that to happen so it was on me but yeah don't if you're if you're living together y'all need to participate together i agree people say that i mean the roles in the kitchen the roles and the you know cleaning and the cooking and all that stuff yeah man i know how to cook another thing good i'm good if i'm at home it's a day off and she's you know hanging out with the girls what's wrong with me grabbing a load of clothes nothing it's gonna be cooking a dinner before when she get home like i don't i don't know i waver in that man judge me later fellas judge me later i don't mind cooking i don't mind cleaning i don't mind washing no and if there's something that you're not good at or you don't like doing it then yeah you don't have to necessarily participate in that particular thing but you should be participating in all the others i agree at least try for the effort yeah she'll see and be like no i'll do it this way baby and see a lot of men are gonna say well she has her way of doing things and i don't want to screw it up or i don't want to hear about it okay get over yourself yeah facts because if she has her own way watch her one day like if you know that she's separating the whites from the darks but don't use that as an excuse not to participate i agree that's what i'm saying i'm 100 percent in agreement fellas stop using excuses to not wash dishes load the dishwasher yeah and if she redoes it though so she redoes it watch her do it so you can know how to do it next time and i promise you she'll appreciate you i promise you she will but she's multitasking in her brain and she's trying to load it so that she has less to deal with when she has a multitask and it's organized in the way that she understands it that's the secret fellas you heard it that's the secret all right so we are we didn't stick a half hour did we no we had an hour but we um we wanted to get all of this out man i don't think we did a little bit a little bit we did we did we we talked about some roles male female really men taking our place back but we did we covered quite a bit um conclusion you have a conclusion like i said if we would all just go back to how we were designed and stay in our own places and appreciate each other more period across the board the world would be a better place appreciate i'm gonna uh add to that and respect each other more as well absolutely respect is is a necessity and don't generalize and paint with a broad brush if you're in the dating world and you're trying to find someone because painting with a broad brush is not going to help you any yeah boom you heard it here word of mouth podcast named shelby hey we'll see you soon love you have a good day bye