episode 23 season 2-ADD

The podcast hosts discuss how social media and the constant need to be busy have affected our attention spans and relationships. They talk about the importance of rest and genuine connection, and how society's focus on productivity and competition has caused us to neglect these things. They highlight the need to prioritize quality over quantity and to take the time to truly connect with others. I was waiting on you. Hey, what it do? Welcome to Word of Mouth podcast with Nadine Shelby. Hey- Welcome to dead airspace with Nadine Shelby. I was literally waiting to see if she's going to kick it off and go right into it, of course. Creature of habit, I'm waiting for you. What it do, y'all? Hey, welcome back to Word of Mouth. We are going to jump into some things that we want to talk about, just normal conversation. It may be all over the place today, but hey, we're just going to jump into it. Feel free to comment, share, like, all of the above. Just- Dislike. Dislike. I don't want you to debate it because we're only given what we believe in our own opinion. We're not trying to start any riots or arguments or anything, but we just want to state our opinion. I want to start off, I was talking to Shelby off mic and I said, man, I got to press record right now. Boom. We were talking about the medical term of ADD and I asked her, what does it mean from a medical standpoint? She expressed it to me. Can you share what you just said, what ADD means? My understanding is it's attention deficit disorder, meaning you have a deficit in your attention or capabilities of attention span. I believe. I am not a doctor. Gotcha. Or do I claim to be one? But it states what you just said, it's a deficit in your attention span and it's a disorder. So kind of right on that one, so let's start right there. Are we struggling with that like really, really bad right now due to the fact that social media, the apps that we are on, that it's causing us not to want to interact in a way where it may take over 30 seconds, maybe a minute? Have we got to the point where we don't even want to communicate at all? I think we're getting to that point. I think it's all part of the programming that we are experiencing and we're surrounded by through social media and other things, but mainly social media. We're watching videos, whether it's Insta Reels or TikToks or whatever, they're starting to expand the time on them now, but with 30 seconds, minute, three minutes, and you literally don't probably watch, I don't know, 40% of them all the way through because you get bored with it and you scroll. So the more we do that, the more we're programming ourselves to have a lack of attention. And then we want everyone to fit into that box of our attention span, which is 30 seconds or whatever we've created it to be. Your phone is going off. It is, it really is. So with that, let's go back for a minute. So are you saying that our attention span was greater maybe 10, 15 years ago compared to today? Absolutely. For sure. And our ability to spend time with others was much greater too. Wow. Our capabilities of, I think. To spend time in a person's presence or... Yeah, exactly. Or conversation or any kind of interaction. I can honestly agree with that. As I look back for myself, there were times where I loved going over to family houses back when I was younger and spending time, no matter if it was drama going on or whatever, I didn't leave. I kind of stuck around, hung out, stayed there, had a good time, whatever may have you. Now you probably get 10, 15 minutes if I see something I don't like, I'm out. And I don't know where that came from. When did I change? And I'm putting myself out there. When did I change in that? Well, I also think that with maturity comes a different level of handling bullshit. Fact. That is the truth. Say that again. As we get older, we don't need to hang out with the bullcrap anymore. Well, you are on it. And we're more willing to call things as we see them. Got it. So we're not going to necessarily participate in stuff that we think is not worthy of our time. So there is some of that when you get older. But overall, I do think that we are being programmed to, like I said earlier, quantity over quality. We're so focused on fitting as much as we possibly can into our time that we don't actually take the time to make it. That's a Facebook post. We are focused on getting or putting things into our time. Yeah, fitting so much into our time. Than taking the time. Exactly. That's a powerful word. Woo, that's good. How? Because the time hasn't changed throughout the day, it's still 24 hours, right? No. It's not. Yeah, it's been like that for a long time. Long time. So why are we putting so much into that and not taking the time that we need to be effective for the things that we do? Because we've learned and been trained that more production and doing more constantly is much better than not doing more and having less production. Your industry will tell you that. Your businesses will tell you that. And now we are being programmed that way in our personal lives when we're outside of those places. So, I mean, everything's led by the almighty dollar. We are chasing that dollar on a consistent basis. And we are negating all of the relationships and sacrificing those to do what society is telling us is the right thing to do. Wow. Wow. Period. They kind of nipped that in the bud. And I agree with you 100 percent, Shelby, on that. We're not even taking the time to get rest for ourselves. No. The Bible gives an account where we have to take rest. And that's not just going to sleep. I'm talking about take rest for your soul. Yeah, that's what the Sabbath was for. It was created to not toil. You were supposed to have a day that you didn't toil. Even simple things you weren't supposed to. I mean, back in the day, you know, the Jews, they were there and there still are very stringent about what the Sabbath is and what you can do and what you can't. It was created for a purpose. I mean, even God saw in his. All of his abilities that he had to create a day of rest. And he didn't even well, he did know that this day was coming and he did know we were going to be this way. But even back in the day when we weren't that way, when we weren't this way, he had that already handled. But we've turned the Sabbath into just another day. So we've become oblivious to rest, period. I think so. I mean, I remember back in the day when we first started our business and it was in the 70s, we were closed on Sundays. Now, that's not the real Sabbath, but we were closed on Sundays and that was the day that you hung out with your family. Well, then industry kept pushing us into being open. So then we were closed on holidays. Well, then business kept pushing us to be open because Wal-Mart's open and so-and-so's open and you got to compete with them. And you know, it went by the wayside. We still are closed on Christmas Day. Thank you, Jesus. Amen. But really, I've been pushing, we should be closed for Easter, but you know, that's not what business does. Wow. Wow. And competition and all that stuff. It's making sense. Our priorities are shot bonkers. Wackadoo. That word. I'm going to use that in a sentence before this podcast ends. Wackadoo. So how do we, I think what I'm hearing you saying, it's, we've become so busy that we don't even acknowledge the fact that rest is important, not just physical rest, but rest period. Yeah. I think the root word of restoration is rest. Yes. Or restore. Yeah. And I think that we have become, as parents too, we've become so focused on one upping the Joneses, like keeping up with the Joneses and one upping them that it's like, well, my kid does this sport, that sport, this sport. We do music here. We do this. We're going to church. We're in this youth group. So that your days are so full because you're trying to keep up with appearances and impress other people with all the things you can accomplish and your kids are involved in when really I don't know that it does any good for our children. So you're telling me. With the amount that we put on them. So the spirit of competition has caused us to become more busy? How about the spirit of comparison? My God. Instead of competition. Because competing I don't think is a bad thing to a degree. To a certain degree. You're right. You have to have a fire within you. Right. And I think that's important. But comparison is a killer. It is. I'm thinking when you said, you know, keep up with the Joneses. In my head, I've heard that term as a kid and I thought that I had to compete. But you're right. The comparison aspect of it makes it worse because it's slowly killing you to compare to something that you don't have to compare to because God made you. Specifically to be you. Period. And unlike anyone else. You might resemble someone else or you might be similar to them, but you're never going to be the same as them. You are a different creation. I agree. And that has pushed us into a place that we don't even take time for ourselves, for our families, for our own, even our physical life. That's sad that we're not even sleeping correctly. It's sad that we're not. Do we acknowledge God, whether it's morning, night, whatever? Are we taking that time to, I don't want to go too spiritual because a lot of people be like, oh, that's you that you have to read every morning. Yeah, I do. But that's part of me. Right. That's something that you've designed is, yeah, that's your focus in the morning and that's how you program your day. And that's, yeah, that's good for you. It doesn't mean it's good for everybody. It doesn't mean it's not good for everybody. That's just how you do it. I agree. There are people that may sit and have a cup of coffee. There are people that may, you know, watch Golden Girls in the morning. Whatever it is, whatever you decide to do, I think it should be subjected to allowing yourself to shut off everything for that moment and just enjoy that time. We don't do that anymore. No, we don't. We don't enjoy each other's company. I was going there, and I'm glad you said that right now because that's a segue into it. Why is that? Why is our company either limited to a certain time period, like you only get 10 minutes with me, or I don't even want to kind of be in your presence. I'll text you. Might not call you, but I'll text you. Okay, that's laziness. We don't want to be involved with other people. We're too selfish. My time is too important to me, and my time is all about building my empire, doing my thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It goes and goes and goes and goes. We are programmed to prioritize being busy and chasing whatever we're chasing, whether it's dollar, whether it's promotion, whether it's whatever. Those are the focuses. The focus is not on each other at all. Hasn't been for a long time. We're expendable, just like everything else. We're disposable. Honestly, to a degree, social media has made it worse, because you were just talking to people in your own community, in your own group, because that's what you had access to. Now you've got access to people in other countries. You've got access to people across the country that you live in. You've got access to people in other states and all this stuff. You can have access to anybody at this point, and everybody, and they can have access to you. Now you've opened the floodgates to all these people that really aren't deserving of your attention. Maybe you're not deserving of theirs, but that's what we've been programmed to be involved in now, instead of our little community that's right in our face, that really should matter, that really is going to make a difference in our lives, and we can make a difference in theirs. Our horizons have been broadened so much. In some ways, it's good, and in some ways, it's not. Wow. If I don't like what you're showing me, I can go find something that I like somewhere else. Facts. If something's getting strained between us, well, I don't have to deal with it. I don't have to make it better, because I can go find it somewhere else with someone else, without that strain. When that strain comes with that person, I'll just move on from them, because I'll find someone else who will fill that gap. I got it. We're disposable. There's no value on relationship anymore. There's no value on cultivating anything. Wow. Wow. Do we not want to take the time to do it? Is it that hard for you to take the time to spend 10 minutes to cultivate, to spend a day to restore? Have we become- We're too selfish. Jesus. We're too worried about our own thing, and how it makes us feel, and whether we're being affected by it in a negative way or not. People don't work through things anymore. They just move on. Ain't that lonely? You're trying to- When you're looking for genuine connection, absolutely it's lonely. But do people even understand what genuine connection is anymore? Do the younger generations even know what it is? Have they even experienced it? Wow. It's a necessity for humans, but if you've never experienced it, you're not even going to know what to look for, or that you're missing it. You just go on about your thing. Everything's a quick fix, or everything's a quick high, I guess. Yeah. That's how I'm kind of getting it. A transaction. What? Everything is a transaction. I'm going to have to write that word down. I'm going to come back to that one, because you're so right. A transaction is something that you do. That's it. And you get something out of it. Right? Mm. Mm. Mm. You get something. They get something. Wow. And then it's over and done with. Whoa. You get something, and they get something. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, it's a quick fix. Mm. But, you know, like we were just talking, I just came back from Europe. Mm-hmm. I was gone for 10 days. I haven't been to Europe in decades. And one thing, and I'm not a selfish person, but I am a particular person in that I keep my group close, and I don't expect a lot out of a lot of people. Okay. And I only trust my core group. Okay. And so I don't have a lot of friends. I don't do a lot of communicating, because there's no need. I have friends, you know, like a couple of girlfriends from middle school. So my circle is small. But being gone and not being able to communicate, because the signal where we were was not real great, made me appreciate the fact that I have those people in my life, which was one good thing. And I think it's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 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