femininity & masculinity

The hosts of the Word of Mouth podcast, Nate and Shelby, discuss the differences between masculinity and femininity. They believe that women have been pushed into adopting masculine traits due to societal pressures and the lack of leadership from men. They argue that this goes against God's design and has led to the breakdown of the family unit. Shelby also mentions the negative effects of the women's movement, which she believes forced women to become more masculine in order to succeed in a man's world. They acknowledge that some men may be overwhelmed or unattracted to this boss-like mentality in women. Overall, they emphasize the importance of open dialogue and understanding between men and women. Hey, welcome to Word of Mouth podcast with Nate and Shelby. We are back in the building. What up, Shel? Not much. How are you? I'm wonderful. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood and I am so excited to be sitting next to this awesome lady. Man, we're going to dig into some stuff today, y'all. Y'all? Yeah, because we got the woman and the man that can speak about different things and we just have this amazing type of debate that it's not a mean type of thing, but it's going to open dialogue and conversations for us to have, not only with our spouses, but maybe with our family members, our friends, loved ones, the barbershop, the men need to talk in the barbershop, the women need to talk in the salon. We got to open this conversation again because I think, Shelby, we shut it down based upon whatever the world say we can do, so we don't talk about it. We don't live in the world any time now. Facts. That's why Word of Mouth is on the air. Yes. We don't live in the world. We're not of this world. Amen. Amen. I'm glad to be here with this lady and we're going to jump into a conversation, more so like a healthy debate, that we discuss the difference of men and women and the difference between the masculinity of a man and the femininity of the woman, femininity of the woman. We're going to discuss some things. Hey, buckle your seatbelt. We're going to jump into it and we're going to have a good time. So, Shell, first off, I want to start by saying, man, you're doing it today, man. I wish it was video because look at you, you're looking great. Listen, women, Shelby's a woman. Got that out of the way. Women. Just so we're clear. Yes. Yes. Just so we're clear. Jason is a man. Exactly. We're clear on this. Okay. Women, Shell, do you think that women have gotten away from their femininity? Absolutely. All right. Let's talk about it. Can I be a prime example? Oh, my God. Well, please, let's talk about it. Go ahead. Kick it off. Well, I just think that, unfortunately, that life presented circumstances where I, yeah, I didn't even intentionally mean to traipse into the masculine side of my being, but that's where I was pushed. And then once you're pushed there and you're there for so long, then it just becomes habit. That's where you're at. Now, I'm fully woman, so don't get confused. Okay. I'm just saying. Did y'all catch that? I tend to be a little, what, in control? And do things myself. Don't need nobody. Come on. Come on. You in it. You in it. I want to put a paperclip right there because I'm going to talk about why women have been pushed in that way. I'm hearing. Okay. So let's talk about Genesis. In the book of Genesis, God created man. And once he began, and this is God, once he began to see that there was some loneliness taking place with his man, he said, man, I'm going to create something for you, for you. The thing that he created for him was going to come out of him. The best part about that is when God put man to sleep and began to create woman, he took something from man to create woman. We're there. This is the part that men have forgot. We can never be nurturers because we wouldn't create it that way. Women have both. I want you to catch this. When God took something from us, he put something in you that you are able to withstand by yourself and with that other person. Because if that other person leaves, then you still got to make the decisions by yourself. Yeah. So I'm starting to understand why there's nowhere in the Bible that you would read a virtuous man because men have authority, not power. Well, not only that, but you just said that he took something from the man, which means the man is automatically the giver and the woman is the receiver. I'm so glad I'm bringing this out because now it's going to make sense why you I think you're more frustrated having to do both roles. But he put something in you to do both roles. Ding, ding, ding. Like I can see your labels are just mad. Like crazy right now. I could not believe how how we missed that whole concept. You know, men can do both roles. Right. I need you to know that we freak out changing the pamper. Okay. Then I'm going to be honest about it. But I am. I freak out. You tell me to go cook dinner and watch the kids. Baby, I only can do one. You tell me to watch the two year old run around in that soggy pamper and then go cook. I can't. No, no. Please wash your hands in between. We're we're we're so we're focused, driven. And we gave us that authority. He said, you have power and dominion to speak those things. So we have that authority. Once he created you all. It was something else that he put. That we we would sleep when he did it. And you all have both of those things that you carry. That's so phenomenal that you all just don't give up. How many times? And we've heard stories of this where men. They didn't live up to their full potential. And either they left. Or they became weak. And woman had to do both. Basically what you just said. Woman had to do both. Not to give that an excuse for women to be masculine. But when they have to do it. Yeah, you got to do it. Somebody's got to do it. That part. How many times on the podcast have you said that? I just had to do it, Nate. Yeah, I just had to. And it wasn't something that was conscious. And it was I don't even think that he meant to do that. I honestly I don't think he understood that. But because the leadership was not there. And the consistency was not there. And the. Irrationality was there. You know, if you're not willing to make decisions, someone's got to make those decisions. If you're not going to step into that that authority position. Yes, somebody has to. There has to be a leader and there has to be a follower. There can't you know how many cooks in the kitchen? It screws the whole thing up. Yes, ma'am. Right. So if if if the man's not going to lead. Then he is requiring the woman to step in and do it. And after it happens for so long, then she just naturally is going to take over. And because she can't rely on you to do what you didn't do. That part she takes on that identity. Right. And I have to do this and this. Right. I've heard it said I got to be the man and the woman in my household. I've heard that by women. I have to be the father and the mother in my household. And it's sad to say that men are not catching that. Like, for real. Why are we putting double pressure on you all? And God created you all to be the backbone for us to be the support for us to cover the heart. So why are we putting that pressure on you all now? I'm going to talk about the women in a minute. So breathe because I got to breathe. But let's talk about those three words in which you talked about leadership. The lack of leadership for men. You want to expound upon that? Well, I think it's something that society has driven us away from. It's been pooh poohed upon basically by the culture because the women's movement and that type of thing. Now, don't get me wrong. Women can do anything and everything. And I have no doubt nor shame about any of that. But that is not God's design. And that's where we are screwed up because we have walked so far away from God's design that we don't even remember what God's design is. We don't even think about it. We don't even think about the innateness and the instinctual part of us that is should be in God's design. And so we're fighting internally with ourselves constantly because that is our instinctual beginning. Yes. But we're letting culture and society drill us away from that. So you can't be feminine because you're made to be masculine. Yeah, basically. It's real hard to be both. Yeah. Society or I'll stay with society. Society is forcing women to become masculine. You're now forced to take on two roles because the lack of leadership. Leadership. And I will say, and this is purely my opinion, and I've stated this before. The women's movement that got women into working and women had to be able to work, too, and get their own money and all that. To me, that was a government ploy to get more tax money, okay? So I think that that was a plan from the devil from day one. It divided the family. We stopped raising our kids to a certain degree. We allowed others to raise our kids. The family unit was destroyed. We weren't going to church, all the above, okay? So when that started happening, you know, women were thinking they were being empowered. But at the same time, to work in a man's world, quote unquote, you had to become a bitch. You had to be a boss bitch to get respect in the man's world. So where does that lead to? That's masculine energy. Baby, you can do it all day long because I've done it, too, okay? And I'll walk right with you. I'm not saying anything negative about it. I'm just saying that the boss bitch mentality is masculine energy. And you can't deny it. Of course not. And to add to that, and here's the little nugget for men, so men now you can breathe. Some of us don't like that mentality. Absolutely. It's not attractive. Exactly. To be masculine and you're saying you want to be with a masculine man. Right. Like that's kind of hard. So some of us, that's not attractive. I understand that completely. And some men are overwhelmed by it. It is too much. They can't handle it. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying that's fact. But we don't talk about it to this level because we've made it comfortable. We're saying it's okay. Hey, you be the boss. You be the this. And nothing against that. Man, I'm okay. Out there, you're doing it, do it well. I'm not against it. Do it well. I want you to be under leadership when you are taking control. Because it's hard. We're confused. And I'm talking about men that are sure of who they are. We're confused because we don't know if you're the man or the woman. So we're sitting back watching you like, okay, what are you today? Are you my dude? Are you my baby? Real talk. Because if you're my dude, then let's get out there and we're going to both handle this business. But if you're my baby, can I just hold you for a minute? Can I tell you I got it? And not only that, but then you've lost the protective sense, right? You've lost the securing the bag, basically, of her. So that's the whole confusing issue. Absolutely. Another one, as I actually show, the lack of consistency. Why has that become a major thing, or is that something that you have experienced in relationships past? The lack of. I think consistency across the board is an issue. But in what we had just listened to, it was lack of consistency is basically that you can bitch about something in your life that you don't like, but yet you're not going to do anything about it. You're just going to let it sit there and keep marinating. Or you're going to say you're going to do something about it, but you don't do anything. That's lack of consistency. If you're not going to step into that role and actually kick that thing, then don't say you're going to kick that thing. That's technically a lie. I can go with the liar. But that's inconsistency. When you're saying one thing and you're not doing it, there's no follow through. That's inconsistency. It doesn't mean that you're going back and forth on things necessarily, which is another way that it happens. But I think inconsistency in relationship is you're saying that you're going to do something, you don't follow through. And especially if you keep saying you're going to do something, it spans for years, or you're going to say I'm not going to do this anymore, and you keep doing it. That's inconsistent, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. And that can play on both parts. Absolutely. Yeah, men or women. Doesn't matter. We do look for consistency at times. It's not a major big quality, more than the nurturing aspect, but consistency of saying that you're going to be that woman that you displayed to be. Don't flip on me. So for us, if you flip, yeah, that's inconsistency. Unless it's in the bedroom. You preaching. We cool with that. But on the flip side. On the other end, though, okay, so if a man is inconsistent, then he's proving to me that he's insecure and that I cannot trust him to protect me and have my back. Boy, that's so good right there. Which is like one of the biggest things that women want is to feel secure. Yes. I got to repeat that. You said inconsistency produces insecurity. Well, it's what we think. I mean, they kind of go hand in hand. A hundred percent. If I, as a man, if I am inconsistent in everything that I do, something's definitely wrong with my identity because I can't make a decision. Right. Non-leadership can't make a decision. They kind of all roll into one. They do. They really do. A double-minded man is unstable. Okay. If I can't make a decision on something, it's maybe a small problem because she is looking to you for leadership. Women actually want to be led, and I said that very slow for a reason. They want to be led. The design in the beginning was the man was the leader, and we were the support system. Wow. And so why are we not leading? So you got inconsistency. You have the lack of leadership. And I'm going to talk about this one here, and I really want you to expound upon this. The lack of emotion. What does that do to a woman when a man, because I've raised my hand, there were times where I lacked in my full emotion about certain things. I didn't know how to display emotions, so I just shut down. Right. How does that make a woman feel? Not connected, for sure. Okay. Distanced, I think. And I think that we have to explain that we're not saying that men need to walk around with their heart on their sleeve necessarily. But with your woman, that's where you should be able to be. You don't need to walk in this world like your guts are falling out. But in your safe place, which is what she should be, yes, you should be able to do that. I'll put a pin right there. Now you have to make sure that she's your safe place. Exactly. And she's covering you. That can become a problem, too. Yes, absolutely. And I also think that, you know, and I'm speaking this from my own life, okay, because I experienced this. When you get shut down in the emotional realm, then the numbness starts. And once you're numb, they ain't going back. Wow. So I don't know, I would assume that happens with men, too. Yes, it does. And like you said, if you're not sure how to express your emotions, I think the numbness can come in as well. Yes. Because it's kind of the same thing. Yes, but we can, I've learned over the years that communication can help with me expressing my emotions. Communication is vital. 100%. If I don't communicate with you, I'm not going to, you're not going to see, and we call it he emotions. You're not going to see me at all if I can't communicate with you. Right. If you're always either bashing, women can be, women can be really mean. Yes. I'm going to let that float in the air. Because women can be mean. They can cut you. Oh, God, they can cut you deep, honey. And that, when that happens, I don't know a man that will feel secure about opening up his wounds and saying, okay, I'm just going to tell you everything about me. Nah. Not when you cut me. Not when I'm bleeding and you're like, okay, I'm going to go into this more, yeah, and get more blood out of you. Nah. I can't open up like that. I think men can cut too, but I do think that women can be more deadly. Yes. Yes. 100%. And I think it has to do with the fact that we are connected to our emotions more than you are. Absolutely. We're focused driven. God created us that way, though. God created us to be that dominion, that power, that authority, that we have to lead, we have to, we were created in his image and after his likeness. God spoke and God saw. We have to speak and we have to see. And we lack that. And we lack that. And that's where identity crisis and identity theft takes place and then we lose all of it and then other stuff begins to happen. But I wanted to touch on that emotional part because sometimes, Shell, if I can be honest, I opened up a couple of times. And I got stabbed hard. Happened. Hard. So it shut me down. And it shut me down to the point where even the other person, and it was years later, even the other person, they didn't get that because I kept looking at that one person as everybody. You were looking in your rear view instead of your windshield. Man, that's honesty and transparency right there. That's hard, though. It is hard to not look in your rear view mirror, especially the longer it's gone on. Because you basically get programmed the longer you stay in something, right? Oh, you are preaching. Well, it's just I lived it. And so it's really hard to turn that program off and start new. You've got to take the whole disc out. Reboot. That's good right there. Program, like you're programmed now to shut down automatically. Like it's a zip, that's it. Because you see a glitch or you see something that looks familiar. And I don't, I withdraw. Yeah. But yeah, I think that's human nature. But what does it do to a woman when we do shut down? And you are that safe place. Well, I can't speak for all women, but I would say for me personally, it's hurtful to me. Okay. You know, if you shut down and you're not willing to show me your truth, then why are we here? So is it like that's it? Like you're done with that whole relationship if we do shut down? And this is just chill. No, just me. No, I'm too damn loyal. So what do you do? I'll try and needle it out of you probably. Okay. And if that doesn't work, then I'll step back and try and figure out another plan to try and help the situation. I'm glad you actually given hope because we don't hear that part for women. You spoke earlier about a movement that a woman will say, oh, okay, since I can't get in you. I say that figure from a mental standpoint and emotional standpoint. If I can't get there with you, then I'm done with it. And so not a lot of women that will stick in there. And I can't speak for everybody else but me. I mean, you're giving us hope. Thank you. Because now we can say there are a remnant of women that will actually just needle that thing out of you and stay consistent with you. And won't leave you. That's hope to me personally. Because I've had some people say, oh, okay, you just ain't letting me in at all, so I'm out. I'll be like, all right. I'm good, thanks. And men deserve to build trust with women. I mean, I don't think it just comes overnight like boom. You know, maybe with some people it does because they just appear to be very trustworthy people. But you know, for a man to trust you with his emotions is a big deal. Yes. And that comes over time. You have to prove yourself to him that trust has to be built in both directions. Yes. And it's not an overnight thing. I agree. And I will say once trust is broken, I think you're screwed. It's very hard to recultivate that. Yeah, yeah. And it'll depend on what it was broken over, but. Right, right. I agree with that. I do think that restoration, because there's nothing impossible for God if God is in the mix. Right. Restoration can take place. It depends on if they're both willing to restore. Right. I personally believe that because I have not been willing to restore. Just being honest. Just being honest. So you have the emotional. You also talked about the lack of leadership and the lack of consistency that comes from men. So I'm going to talk about women for a minute because there's some things that we can see in a woman that will push us away. And one of the things we already talked about is if you're too masculine, some men just don't like it. And I'm not talking about you walking around with some jeans on and your hat to the back and you thugging it with me. I ain't talking about that. I mean, because clothes, we'll work on that. Yeah, they all come off. Trust me, they do. However, the masculine role you don't have. The energy. The energy, yeah. There's an energy. Yes. And I get it because I was there for a long time and I was there when I was in prime dating time after I got divorced because I was coming out of the relationship that created the masculinity in me. And I'm also involved in business and that doesn't help with femininity at all. No. So, yeah, I'm sure that there were a lot of men and I would say they were intimidated. And I probably act intimidating, acted that way. For a while. And maybe I still am. This is where I kind of ask the question and I'm going to get on men with this. If the woman, if she's intimidating and you don't know your identity, I'm going to go on record to say it, I'm sorry. You can send all kind of hateful messages if you want. But listen, if she's that intimidating, bro, what you doing? Take your tail from out between your legs. Sorry. But for real, like, step up. Take your role. I think in Lion King, Simba, go back and take your rightful place. Yeah. Nala was literally hunting. She was. Yeah. She had to. She had to fulfill both roles because he left. But all she said to him was. Where are you? Where are you? That's what God said in the garden. Yes, he did. Where are you? He didn't say, who are you? Because he know what he created. He said, where are you? Because this is not right. Where are you supposed to be? And if she's that intimidating. Where are you? And I get, you know, as you spoke earlier about the BB, the boss, bitch, if you have that. Yeah. They can still kind of get the understanding of who you are if you approach it in the way that you're supposed to approach it. I ain't saying go out and grab her by her hair and drag her. No, I ain't talking about that. No, don't do that. You'll get your teeth kicked. Right. But yet and still, man, if you know who you are. And there's, you know, like you said earlier, there are men that are not attracted to that at all. And that's great. No, no fault there. No fault there. And I, I didn't really like being in that place anyways. But I don't know how I'm ever going to really get out of that place completely. The masculine energy, the boss bitch mentality. I mean, just because I think it's kind of ingrained in me at this point. And it's not that I want to be in charge, but it's just that I know I can handle my. Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. Knowing that she understands who she is when she have that type of covering, when she have that type of leadership that knows he knows who he is. Yeah. You have to know that he knows who he is. So you don't have to keep playing both roles. Yeah, that's true. That's that's the biggest issue. So I don't I don't say get rid of that mentality. I'm saying that that person, that person, he knows his role. So he's going to top that and he's going to make sure that when it's just you and him. Come here, bookie. Come in. Let me let me let me let me whisper sweet. So sometimes men can get a little dumbfounded when we don't or when we see more of the man in the woman. We'll kind of look at it like, hey, what is that? What is that? Secondly, I believe the lack of nurturing. Can cause major problems for us, not to say, and I got to put this on record, not to say that we want our moms. OK, hello. Thank you. We're not asking for our moms. But women have a God put something in you all that no man has. I 100 percent agree with that. And it's called nurture. We just don't have it. That we embrace more than anything. It may not look like it. Some of us act like we hard. But when you say. Baby, come here, let me rub your head. We like. OK, baby, come and take off clothes and I got, you know, dinner ready for. OK, like that stuff, man, we desire. And I promise you, if a man put a comment about men only, that's your line. You're lying. Because every man wants it. We desire that. That's who God created you all to be. Well, that's the thing. We're supposed to balance each other. This is all about that. We are both the image of God, man and woman. So for it to be a perfect balance, there has to be two. There has to be one of each. That part. Yeah. Let's talk about scripture right there. Man and woman in the beginning was not born, they were created. Correct. OK, so when anything is created, that means he designed it a certain way. Absolutely. He designed it a certain way. And so that thing cannot be made to be something different if he designed it this way. And he also said it was good. And he said it was good. And he got a little ticked off later on because he was so mad that we had screwed up so badly. But he said it was good when he created it. That's right. So why are we trying to create something else? Because the enemy has twisted our minds. Twisted our minds. And we live in a world of sin. We are not of this world. If you are a child of God. But you still got to live in this world. You do. And try not to get twisted. Amen. Which is very hard. Very, very hard. Another thing I wrote down for women. Sometimes, probably more times than normal, some men. I can't say all men, so I'm going to have to speak only for myself on this one. Because I may get a couple of men to come in and say, no, that's not me. But some men, we don't want you in fight or flight mode all the time. I would hope not. Because if you do, you're going to have a literally adrenal fatigued woman who is impossible to deal with. Doesn't sleep. Yes. Fatigued. Because I was there and I lived it. And yeah, she's a miserable bitch. Thank you. But thank you for saying that. Because. But don't put us there. Taking the words. Don't scare us. Don't make us live in that place. Where we can't rely on you. We can't trust you. We can't believe that we're safe with you. Don't put us in that place. Because if you put us in that place, you are going to get an adrenaline fatigued woman. And she is a miserable bitch. Yes. Yes. And she's ready to snap off, pop off at any given time. While I'm saying this here, can you go to Proverbs real quick? Chapter 31. A woman in fight or flight mode cannot fully act in her full potential. Because she's, in your words, she's fatigued. She's frustrated. She's aggravated. She's tired. She's angry. Yes. And so she can't. And she's thinking that she is constantly in danger. Always. Always. Because there's no security. Exactly. When a woman's fight or flight, there is no security at all. Right. Like she's just. Waiting for that other shoe to drop. Walking on eggshells all the time. And some men just don't like. If I meet you and you're in fight or flight mode. I don't know if that's a quick turn off. But nine times out of ten, that's a turn off for me. Because you're always like, OK, I got to. It's a hair trigger. And you're right. And I don't know what you've been through. I'm starting to learn, you know, a sense of patience, of understanding now. As we talk about this, even on this podcast, that women do or have been made to be that way all their lives. And so I can I can present myself in a way where she can come out of that eventually. But if she don't. That might be a deal breaker for me. And it will take time. I get it. Because she has to be able to trust you and you have to prove yourself. My God. Transparency. That's that's real talk. That's fact. I'm Proverbs 31. Yes. You decided the first verse. We don't we don't talk about this woman for just a minute. Who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above Ruby. The heart of her husband safely trusts her. He will have no lack of game. Can I stop right there? She has the heart of her husband. You just said. Emotion. If I can open up myself to this woman. And she has my heart. And she's supposed to cover your heart. That's what the rib does. I mean, we just read it. The heart of her husband. I mean, she does him good and not evil. All the days of her life. She's covering his heart. She's covering his heart. You want me to read the whole thing? Well, we're going to talk about a few of these questions. Go ahead. I'm trying to find that. The really good. And feel free, ladies and gentlemen. Go ahead and read Proverbs chapter 31. I'm just pondering. I'm just reading. No, it's all good. I think a lot of. Somewhere in the nine, ten, eleven. It talks about how her husband went, you know, to do his work. And she covered him. But also she covered the kids. And she covered. She worked her job and still was able to do. Like she had a lot of roles. She holds the spindle. She gathers the things. She sells the things. She knows her things are good. Come on. All those. She reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household. For her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates. When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them. And supplies sashes for the merchants. Stop right there. OK, you said her husband. Her covenant is what again? He sits where? He's known in the gates and he sits among the elders of the land. Did we just talk about leadership? Yes. Just a little bit. Boom. OK. Strength and honor are her clothing. I love that. She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom. And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household. And does not eat the bread of idleness. Whoa. All right. It's getting good. It's getting good. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also. And he praises her. Many daughters have done well. But you excel them all. Can I go back? Can I go back for a second? You said something about her children. Praises her. These are her seeds that came from her. And we had podcasts where we talk about Mama Bear. Mama Bear protect their kids. Now her kids praise her because she's a nurturer. They praise her because she's a nurturer. She protect them. She covered them. They don't praise her. And then it says also her her covering her head. He praises her, too. That means men. We have to give encouragement. We have to praise these amazing women. We shouldn't just walk in the house and be like, where am I? What you get on? Bent over. In that order. Damn. You should not be like that. That is sad. That's hard. We shouldn't. But what society have told us, man. I'm glad you mentioned earlier. We're not conformed to this world. We shouldn't have to live it that way. Give her praise. Let her know, man. How much you appreciate her. I'm saying a woman's job is in the OK. You know what I mean? So with that. Yes. Men. To a woman show. Men are not attracted to the fight or flight. We definitely love the fact that you all. Give that nurturing. That nurturing. Aspect. We love the fact that. You all care enough. And you're loving enough. To be just a woman. A woman. I think woman means. Wow, man. To me. Like you'd be like. Oh. That's. That's how we ought to look at women and not. Degrade them. Not push them to be men. Not make them feel like that. They have to fight every single day. Or they have to do. And I get it, man. This world system is a little. Messed up. It is. But we can get back to being who we. Were created to be. And we've lost it. We've lost it big time. That's why. Excuse me. That's why we should. Talk about it and dialogue about it. Just a little bit more. And be okay with talking to our friends. Our loved ones. Our family saying. It's okay to tell your girlfriends. Hey, you can be feminine. It's okay. You can wear some. You know, nice looking. Tight clothes if you want to. You don't have to wear sweats all the time. That also means that don't make her a piece of meat, though. When she does that. Facts. I mean, you know, of course. But he got to know his role for her to put it on. Is vital. She'll put it on if she sees that he's walking in. When he needs to walk in. Yeah, but I'm saying the other men in the room, too. Don't need to be. But if he's if she is secure in him. Then she would trust that he'll take care of that. Right. But also with men, too. Like. There's a role. There's a role. We're not stepping up to take our role. I know we use the kid movie Lion King, but they got a whole lot of significance. Let's go back to the crisis. We'll talk about Lion King. The crisis identity crisis started when they went to the elephant garden. The elephant graveyard. Okay. When they went to the elephant graveyard, what the hyenas began to do. They tried to strip his identity. Because when he roared, it didn't do anything. And so they tried to mock him and make him feel like he was nothing in front of his girl. I'm preaching in front of his girl. So knowledge sitting there like, okay, come on, do the roar. Do that. He's like, oh, and it ain't doing nothing. And they laughing at him. And he mocking them until daddy step on the scene. So identity crisis kicked in. Then it wasn't the theft yet. But identity crisis kicked in. Then the theft. The theft kicked in when you took that. Because now you not only you stole my father, but you took part of me. Yeah. How many men have been literally stripped, not from the church, but they stripped God away from them. And it was probably church people. Oh, but not only that, but where are the fathers? I go into part two on that. I will go into part two and three on that. We stripped it from men and killed every aspect of us being who we really are. This is just a movie. This is just a movie. And so now we're walking around saying, I don't really care about nothing. No worries. That's not identity. That's not knowing who you are. That's numb. That's numb. That's numb. And that's so numb to the point that you don't want to feel anything anymore. That's not living. That's surviving. To. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. So now we get to the place where his girls say, Hey, I knew you. Where are you? And it takes for someone. This is why men got to be OK with accepting constructive criticism. Oh, nobody likes that. Oh, constructive criticism. Constructive criticism. The absolute. True. Absolute truth. Like I gotta tell you the truth. This ain't who you are. Right. And when it comes from somebody close to you. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, we offended. Oh, my God. We are quickly offended because it comes from someone close when all they're saying is you're just not living up to your potential. You're not living up to what I see in you. And I love you enough to tell you the truth. But that's hard. That's rough stuff right there. That is. Yeah. But God's word says, I chastise who I love. And we're supposed to follow his example. So if you didn't tell me the truth, you said, Nate, man, you stink. I mean, you never ever say that. Promise. Three hours. But if you said that to me, I would accept it to a point because it's something different coming from you. Secondly, you care enough to tell me. And if you care enough to tell me that, I think I'm accepted and I'm a change it and not be so offended that I don't talk to you anymore ever again because you told me the truth. Yeah, but it also has to come from someone that you respect. Someone that you have a rapport with, someone who is, you know what I mean? Like, well, why is that? And you can accept it from a stranger. And you don't have a rapport with them. Like a stranger can tell you. I mean, think about it. Yeah. Strange. And you'd be like, oh, OK, thanks. I appreciate that. But that's just the same goes the opposite direction. Why do we treat the people closest to us like when we treat strangers? Yeah. You're right. Because of the comfort level. Yep. It's because of taking people for granted. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good. We got it all twisted. We do. But that's just humans. We're just funky. I love your words. Funky. We are funky. Hopefully we don't smell funky both. Amen. Can I read this? Please. It's been gnawing at me. It's that femininity thing. Yes, please. OK, so this is out of my Bible. And my Bible is a woman's Bible. So it talks about different aspects of things. But it's all based on work. So I'm just going to read this because I think it's very interesting. Femininity, the nature of a woman. Femininity is a reality of God's design and making his precious gift every woman and in a very different way, his gracious gift to men as well. The difference between men and women is not a mere matter of biology. Throughout the millennia of human history, up until the past several decades, people took for granted the differences were so obvious as to need no comment. Isn't that fact right there? Yet never as now have we more needed Paul's reminder of the Roman Roman Christians not to let the world squeeze us into its own mold, but to let God remold our minds from within. Neither the man nor the woman is adequate alone to bear the divine image. His image. Rather, these two together represent the image of God, one of them in a special way, the initiator, the other, the responder. Right there. And I ain't done yet. The initiator and the responder? Yes, same as the giver and the receiver. Oh, my God. God made Eve from the man and brought her to the man. When Adam named Eve, he accepted responsibility to husband her, quote unquote, to provide for, protect and lead. Surrender is a key ingredient in femininity. That's fact. As a bride, a woman in marriage surrenders her independence, her name, her destiny, her will, and ultimately in the marriage chamber, her body to the bridegroom. As a mother, she surrenders a very real sense of her life for the life of the child. As a single woman, she surrenders herself in a unique way to service her Lord and service to family and community. Femininity receives. It makes what God gives. In other words, women are to receive. Not to not not to insist upon the not given as Eve did. This does not reap. This does not imply that a woman should surrender to evils such as coercion or violent conquest. Did you hear what that is? Evil, violent conquest, evil, the gentle and quiet spirit of which Peter speaks in the ornament of femininity, which found its epitome in Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was willing to be a vessel hidden, unknown, except as somebody's mother. This maternity is available to every woman who humbles herself before the Lord, not simply as a biological role, but as an attitude of selflessness in her heart and submission to the Lord. The challenge of biblical femininity for you is to be a woman wholly through and through asking for nothing but what God wants to give you receiving with both hands and with all your heart. Whatever that is, femininity is a precious treasure to be guarded and nourished each and every day. But can we go back to where it talks about neither the man nor the woman is adequate to bear alone the divine image. Rather, these two together represent the image of God, one of them in a special way, the initiator, the other, the responder. Sorry, I was going to say receiver. But one is the initiator, which I wrote, and one is the respondent. We have a role. If you are playing both roles, the initiator and the responder, what are we? We don't need you. This has been word of mouth. That's it. That you just said it. Yeah. If you're playing both roles, what are we here for? Real talk, because we can't play both roles. There's no way possible. We don't even know how to. I'll wait. Wait on me in the respond to this. You can't play both roles. I don't care how you try to look at it. You can't play. A woman can. And that's why it's so easy for you all to take on that masculine role. And you say, hey, I'm BB. I got this myself. I don't need you, you or you. I can do it on my own. It's that. And when it's stripped like that. It causes I believe it causes women outside of the fight and fight mode. I believe it causes women a slow, torturing death emotionally. Well, you definitely get to that numb space. And then after that, what's there to do? That's it. It's nothing. It's nothing. And I saw women and men acting that way, and I'm like. You don't even care. No, I think men can get numb, though, too, and act in that way as well. Really? Or live in that space. Yeah. You don't think that men can be cut off from their emotion? Yeah, that's it, though. It's to cut off from the emotion. But when a true woman walks on the scene. That thing will open back up so quick. Yeah, for a woman. Yeah, it's hard to open that thing back up. For men, all we need to see is some lingerie. Not not only that, but I mean, it opens back up quickly for me because we're serious. I'm serious. OK, look at me, but I mean, step up, say something. I need your help. We are seers. We are seers and we see your visual. Yes, men are visual. Absolutely. That's it. So we come out of that thing so quick when she show up and she got the right tools. I was talking about pliers. Nope. Nope. I'm talking about pliers and nails. So with that, fellas, the initiator and the responder are two different entities. And I think that we have to understand who's the initiator, who's the responder. I'm awake. Well, I mean, that's that's the design. Who's the initiator? Who do you think? Y'all men. OK, you think men are the initiators? Hell yeah. She is. You came first. And who should respond? Us chicks. That's it. Yeah. So men, if you're not taking your rightful place and stepping up and initiating what you're supposed to initiate. And we ain't talking about sex. So get off that. Right. We have to. Don't be treating women like they're just some. Piece of meat. Yeah. Here today, gone tomorrow. Get that. Tap that. And I can throw it to the side. Right. I'm not being disrespectful. And you'd be looking at us like that. We're probably going to hurt you. Kick your teeth in Shelby's voice. So initiate the fact of who you are. Take your rightful place. Stand up and be the men that we are called by God to be. He created us to be this. He created this. So his design was specific. Initiated and be that in which I've told you to be. Yeah, there was a fall of man. But Jesus came back and restored that. So we can still be that. Right. And we got to keep talking out to him and running. Women. Respond in a way that is pleasant. We were we were in in Proverbs 31. She didn't respond to her covenant in a way that it was rude. She praised him. She covered him. She nurtured him. She made sure he was good. Your response is everything to us. Can I say that again? A woman's response is everything to us. If you say if I'm walking in. Say you're a significant other. He's walking in. And he got on his his his cut off shirt. And he's carrying a bag. And he's carrying groceries and big things. Hey, and his muscles. I'm talking to Shelby right now. It's like bulging everywhere. And sweat is coming slowly down his brows. If you say at that moment. Maybe you look good. That would change his whole day. And he would try to get that response. But if you don't say nothing and you just. I mean, your response can be something else later. But whatever your response is. Is going to allow me to initiate more. Right. Yeah. If you encourage something. Absolutely. That works both ways. It works both ways. But we have to make sure that we initiate it. Yeah. Sit up and wait for her to respond. If a woman gets to the place and I'm speaking from experience, if a woman gets to the place where you are offering her nothing. Especially when the relationship is a long term. Decades long. And it's just we're where there's I'm getting nothing. Yeah. There's no response. No peace out. And don't be scratching your head when I hit you with the sign. It ain't like you didn't know it up until this point. Well, yeah. The signs are there. Decades. It wasn't just yesterday. No. Decades. You consistently. I'm going to walk away after two days. You just said your loyalty. You were probably going to try to needle that thing. Yeah. I did that for a very long time. I probably shouldn't have. But thank God that not only I'm glad that there are women that are loyal in that way. It gives us hope. But also the restoration and the blessing behind that. But don't you think I mean, I don't think I don't want to just say that it's women that are like impatient or disloyal because I think it goes both ways. We just don't stick with things anymore. We don't as a race. We don't as a human race. We don't stick with things. Oh, I agree. When it gets difficult, we walk away. I agree with that. One hundred percent. So if you don't want to put the effort in, then don't don't even try. Like, well, the biggest part, because I was talking about this and if we don't do our part, then how can the woman do hers? Right. But I just you were pointing more like women or, you know, tend to walk away. No, I think it goes both ways. I'm not doing nothing. Nothing. This ain't got nothing to do with, you know, just one entity. I'm talking about just nothing at all. Yeah, it gets it gets redundant. And I want to say, you know what? In relationships nowadays, both parties are providing for that. Most most relationships, there are two people working. Yes. OK. And so when men want to throw out the well, I bust my ass and I go to work every day and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,