親密溝通

The Love Experts discuss relationship boredom and its different types. Indifferent boredom is the least serious and can be fixed by taking alone time or relaxing with your partner. Calibrating boredom is when someone is unhappy but doesn't need immediate change. Searching boredom is when people actively seek change and want to try new things. React boredom is when someone wants to leave the relationship and becomes irritable. Apathetic boredom is the most serious and requires therapy. Boredom is a signal for change and should not be ignored. Hi everyone, welcome back to our channel today. I'm going to give a little welcome and shout out to our first time visitor. Thank you to our first time listener who will present today. I'm Abby. And I'm Maria. Together, we call ourselves the Love Experts. If you recall from the movie Frozen, Kristoff refers to his family of Stones as the Love Experts. He references them, their experience in love a few times throughout the movie. Since we love Disney and are knowledgeable when it comes to relationships, we call ourselves the Love Experts. We aim to help our listeners by answering their questions in a fun and understandable way. Our listeners can call or email us throughout the week. We promise to answer their questions by referring them to an earlier podcast or by creating a new podcast for their new questions. Ooh, we have a new caller now. Hi guys, I'm Carly. I have been seeing this guy for about four months now, and he used to be all fun and laughing, but now I feel like I know everything about him. Our days are boring and I feel the spark is gone. I know he is gone, but things aren't as fun as they used to be. Please help us out, Love Experts. After Gina sent this call, Maria and I have been hard at work conducting interviews, asking friends, and research for answers. The main problem Gina is facing is boredom in her relationship. It is important to define that relationship boredom is before moving on. So, there are a multitude of challenges that couples face in a relationship. A clinical expert claims that boredom is perhaps the most common denominator of all marital problems. Clearly, boredom is a major problem that people should be informed about what it is, what the types are, and how to prevent relationship boredom. The Cambridge Dictionary defines boredom as the state of being unhappy and uninterested. A person can experience boredom when working on a school project, driving for long periods, listening to dull podcasts unlike this one, and eating the same food every day. Experience boredom is an inevitable part of life. I think the article, Why the Little Boredom Could Be Good for Your Relationship, correctly defines boredom. Boredom is a signal that something is wrong and needs to change. So, think of relationship boredom like in the movie Tangled. Rapunzel has been lost in the tower for 18 years of her life. She gets sick of doing the same thing over and over again. She has had fun and good memories in the tower, but she wants to see new experiences by leaving. In a relationship, a person might get bored and want to leave to seek new experiences. Now that relationship boredom has been defined, it is important to start thinking about the different kinds of relationship boredom. It is seldom that people realize that there are different types of relationship boredom. It is more than just either being bored or not bored in a relationship. There are actually five types. The five types of boredom address different levels of boredom severity. If a person knows and realizes exactly what type of boredom they are experiencing, they can get correct help and take the correct steps necessary to address the boredom. Being able to see the symptoms of boredom in a partner or other loved ones is also important. This knowledge will allow a person to be proactive so they can try to fix the problem before the relationship falls apart. Now, listen again, identifying the five different types of relationship boredom. The first type of boredom is indifferent boredom. This is not as significant as the other types of boredom. If you are experiencing indifferent boredom, you may just be tired with feelings of disinterest and unstimulated. A person can think of it as when they are on a five-day vacation of their dreams with a hectic schedule. You are having a great time, but you may need to take a walk or a 20-minute power nap to feel better. Our beloved Disney reference is in The Lion King. Simba, Pumbaa, and Simone like a good life of eating bugs and enjoying each other's company, but eventually Simba feels like something is missing, so he seeks something else in life. This type of boredom doesn't mean anything is wrong necessarily. All it does is indicate that a few moments of alone time may be needed. These moments can be naps, reading a good book, walking in nature, or watching a good movie. If indifferent boredom is present, spend some relaxing moments with your partner also. The time doesn't have to be filled with talking or a thrill. It can be cuddling, reading a good book, or taking a walk together. Overall, indifferent boredom is the least serious of the five types. It is easy to fix and will not ruin relationships. The second type of relationship boredom is calibrating boredom. This type of boredom may look like wandering thoughts, not knowing what to do, and exhibiting acts that want to change the relationship. Usually, someone is feeling a little unhappiness but does not need immediate change or action. People experiencing this boredom are tired of doing the same thing. They may be looking for other alternatives for things to do. Small actions can eliminate this type of boredom. Go out on a day night rather than staying in or getting them roles. Just spice up the routine with simple actions. It could also look like telling them a new fun fact about yourself or learning something new about them. Start a new conversation. This boredom is nothing to worry about and is simple to fix. Overall, people experiencing this relationship feel a little unpleasant but are not planning on ending the relationship. They are just thinking about change but won't take the step to make a change. It is the second less serious type of boredom. The third type of relationship boredom was identified as searching boredom. It is a sense of restlessness and people actively seeking change. They are not satisfied with the relationship. People want to try something new, like start a new hobby together or go on a big trip. You could even look at your past. Think about the things you used to do that you really enjoyed but you slowly lost touch with. Simply restart one of those activities together. It can make a big difference. Another route that could be pursued is doing something by yourself. People have interests and wants in life that are separate from their partners. It can make a person more energetic and positive when it comes to relationships if they do something on their own. Couples should be supportive of each other's individual wants. Overall, searching boredom is associated with negative feelings. People are searching for new activities or ways to spice up a relationship. Action should be taken at this stage. It is placed in the middle of the relation boredom severity system. The fourth type of boredom can be referred to as react boredom. People feel the most desperate for change and feel unhappy during this boredom. People want to leave the relationship immediately and want to avoid addressing the cause of boredom. It is similar to searching boredom but as the one to leave the relationship. It can be identified when a lot of negative thoughts are suffering one's mind about oneself, their partner, or their relationship. People will be more irritated and excessively nitpicky about minor things. They are always thinking of perfect or could-be situations rather than living in the moment. The irritable mood can lead to picking fights, pointing out our partner's faults, or becoming irritated more easily. To fix this boredom, action should be taken. It may be the person not listening to all their inner thoughts or communicating with their partner. Change needs to take place and conversation should be had in this phase. This phase could lead to the end of the relationship. Overall, react boredom is the fourth type of boredom. It is serious and could quickly lead to a breakup. Change needs to take place if the relationship wants to be savage. The last and most serious type of boredom was apathetic boredom. Apathetic boredom is when both people are not willing to take action to change the relationship. The feeling can lead to depression or feelings of helplessness if not fixed. At this point, couple therapy is needed or talking to an individual therapist can be a help also. The primary cause of this type of boredom is entering a relationship and forming a term that Dr. Robert Firestone describes as a fantasy bond. A fantasy bond is a state in which couples focus more on being a couple than on being in love. They often forget to show signs of respect for each other. They stop listening to each other, making eye contact, and showing interest in each other. If you always feel bored with your partner, it is a major sign of apathetic boredom. In the Disney movie Inside Out, Briley's actions of running away from home, becoming distant from her family, abandoning the things she loves, and lashing out easily are similar symptoms to apathetic boredom. Overall, the most serious type of boredom is apathetic boredom. It indicates that change needs to occur or the two people are better off without each other. That is all for the five types of relationship boredoms. Now we will be moving on to our next topic. We just covered a lot of content. Before moving into the last and more updates part, let's review a bite. Maria, what's the boredom? Great question. Thank you for asking. Boredom is a signal that change needs to occur. It should not be ignored. It is natural for humans to feel bored. What should I do if I experience boredom? We feel bored before being in a relationship. In school, at home, when we're driving, etc. When we do get bored, we don't just give up and quit. We work through it and improve the situation. In a relationship, you may know everything about the person, so there is no more excitement. As humans, we seek new experiences and learn new things. The new things should focus on self-growth, so it can also strengthen the relationship. Talking more, trying new things, and going on a fun date are some examples of overcoming boredom. Make sure to evaluate what type of boredom you are experiencing before trying to fix the problem. Different types of boredoms require different solutions. So, what are the five different types of boredom? The five types of boredom from least to most serious are different boredom, calibrating boredom, searching boredom, reacting boredom, and apathetic boredom. Some type of change should take place if any boredom is experienced. Now, it's time for the fun part of the podcast. We interviewed multiple people for this part of the interview. We asked them to give examples of fun date ideas or what they do to keep their relationship exciting. I think the most interesting dating plan is to have a delicious brunch with my partner in the morning. Then, go to the cinema to watch a movie and have dinner together in the evening to walk on the street of Xinyi District to listen to street performers. It's very romantic. Wow, thank you so much for your feedback. You had a really good and important insight about this topic. Our Disney reference is in the movie Beauty and the Beast. The couple went ice skating, read books to each other, had dinner together, and explored each other's interests. They kept their relationship exciting with new and fun activities. The two people who were interviewed had their own ideas of fun. Fun date looks different to every couple. In a relationship, find what you both enjoy. The more fun a couple has, the less likely boredom will occur. The last topic that we want to mention is what not to do if you encounter relationship boredom. Relationship boredom can lead to a lot of negative feelings. The negative feelings can take control of you, and your emotions can quickly go into a bottomless barrel. One of the worst mistakes people often make is throwing the bad habits, especially if someone has a history of this bad habit. Smoking, vaping, gambling, and drinking are all major problems. Make sure to keep your emotions, feelings, and habits in check. Turn to a trusted person or counselor if needed. Everyone deals with their problems differently, so make sure to be aware and prevent any negative habits from occurring. To relate this to a Disney reference, in the movie Ratatouille, Remy got bored with being the best chef. He wasn't fully happy in the place he was at. He quickly fell into an old habit of stealing food, which caused depression and almost cost him his life. Luckily, he turned to his family members to help prevent more negativity in his life. So thank you all for joining us for today's podcast. Time for the conclusion. We talked about many important things today relating to boredom in a relationship. Now, let's recap. We started our day by defining what boredom is, and then what relationship boredom is. Boredom is a state of being unhappy or uninterested. It happens in every relationship in our everyday lives. Good point. Another important topic that we went over is the five different types of boredom, from least serious to most serious. Indifferent boredom, calibrating boredom, searching boredom, re-adding boredom, and apathetic boredom. Each type of boredom requires different actions to take, so pay attention to specific details of the boredom. The last topic to cover is some ideas for spicing up your relationships. Taking a class together, going out with friends, having a date night, or spending some time alone are all great ideas that came up during interviews. Taking a person's love language into account may help determine what new actions should be done. Most relationships can be savage. Once the boredom is identified and communication occurs, the next steps are crucial. Be sure to take the correct steps. We believe that everyone can achieve the picture-perfect Disney relationship. Now, it was so fun chatting with you all. Be sure to tune in next week to learn more about problem-solving techniques in a relationship. That's all from the Love Experts. Love you all! Bye!