Conflict Podcast

The podcast episode explores the idea that conflict is a natural part of life and can be both challenging and an opportunity for growth. The host shares personal experiences and discusses the importance of emotions in conflict. They emphasize the need to face conflict, compromise, and find resolution. The host has learned to navigate conflict effectively and has shifted towards an integrating conflict style. They provide an example of how they responded to conflict with their brother by communicating and compromising. The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to embrace conflict as a chance to build connections and find positive outcomes through honesty and willingness to find common ground. I want you to imagine a world where conflict does not exist. Would the world be perfect? Or would the world be suffering and fearfulness and lead to an unfair society? As human beings, we often grapple with conflicting emotions and conflict itself. I've learned that conflict is a natural part of life. It's a stimulus for growth and change, but conflict can also be messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes extremely terrifying. Welcome to my podcast. My name is Zanetta, and I'm located in the great city of Winnipeg, right in the center of Canada. And on this episode, we will explore on a personal journey, self-discovery, confronting my emotions and beliefs surrounded by everyday conflict, which may relate to you folks or help you understand conflict better. If I'm being honest, conflict does scare me, especially when it involves people I care about. It usually brings out uncomfortable emotions like stress, anxiety, uncertainty, and so on. And the fear of uncertainty, especially in conflict situations, make conflict feel like it's something I always want to avoid. However, I know conflict is inevitable. And it can also be powerful when you know how to wiggle through and understand conflict. Now that I understand conflict, I now know how to build stronger relationships and feel more confident when I'm stuck in conflict. But overall, my feelings about conflict are complex, because it could be a challenge or it could be an opportunity. It just depends on the situation. Recently, I have been learning how to navigate conflict effectively. Before I started learning conflict, I always thought conflict is something that could be avoided. And if I could avoid it long enough, then it will go away. But wow, was I wrong. When I was in one of my conflict classes, a discussion came up about emotions. We talked about how much our emotions contribute to conflict. Think about it for a second. A lot of conflict starts from our emotions. They come from how we feel about certain situations. If we never say what we feel, there wouldn't be much conflict and you would be silenced from your thoughts. There's this book written by Joyce Hawker, Keith Barry, and William Wilmot. And on page 195, there's an entire section about why you can't ignore emotions. Emotions play a big part in conflict. This is the route of conflict. It's what contributes to your arguments in conflict. It's something that needs to be faced. I believe we shouldn't silence our thoughts. We need to stand our ground, but also understand the other person's views and compromise. Once conflict has passed, I often feel relief, especially if I can negotiate and compromise in the conflict situation. When I'm stuck in conflict, I like to offer a compromise. But in order to compromise, me and the person who I'm in conflict with, we must examine our differences and share how we feel, which can lead to an outcome where we are both satisfied. Therefore, my feelings after conflict has passed is usually relief. And if you folks are constantly avoiding conflict, but do feel relief, that relief may only be temporary and that unresolved conflict may linger around in the back of your mind. So it's better to face it sooner than later. Now, everyone responds to conflict differently. Some of you may have an avoiding style, or an accommodating style, or integrating style, and even a dominating style. But from reading the book I mentioned earlier, Interpersonal Conflict, I have discovered that whenever I didn't have a promised outcome, I used to always avoid conflict as much as I could. And I'm sure a lot of you do this or used to do this. But something I learned from Hawker is that avoiding conflict will not fix the situation, but will only set the stage for a later explosion or backlash. And you can find that on page 157, underneath the disadvantages of avoiding conflict. However, now that I've learned a tremendous amount about conflict, I have found appropriate ways to navigate my way through most conflicts. As of right now, I would say my conflict style has shifted into more of an integrating style. Although my avoidance still lingers around me when I face certain conflicts. But I'll recognize it, and I'll hold myself accountable. Here is an example of how I respond to conflict. Me and my brother recently had conflict. This conflict was small, but between siblings, any sort of conflict is big. Anyways, we went on a little road trip and I asked him if he could pitch in for gas. He told me that he can't because he has to save and he didn't get paid yet. So I asked if he could ship in for at least half of the gas. He then began to ignore my request. So I then talked to him and I persuade him by saying that I've been using my own money for the entire road trip, and I didn't think it was fair for me to just be paying for everything. So I asked him how much he could afford to pitch in. And after we both communicated effectively, we were able to compromise. And he was able to ship in for at least half of the gas. This is an example of how I responded to conflict. Instead of ignoring it and being destructive about it, we compromised and collaborated. Having an integrating conflict style can be super beneficial when you want to build healthy relationships and when you want to find ways to deal with conflict more effectively. Something that Hawker mentioned in his book is that integrating effectively affirms the importance of relationship and content goals. And thus builds a team or partnership approach to conflict management. And you can find this on page 177 underneath advantages of integrating. Going back to my conflict situation with my brother, our relationship is lifetime. And no matter how big or small our conflict is, we always want to make sure that it gets solved to keep our relationship healthy and honest. With my conflict style, I always have to be careful not to be too accommodating or collaborating with everyone who I approach conflict with. Because some people may not be worth using an integrating style. Now that we have reached the end of our episode, it's clear that conflict is an inevitable part of life. But you don't always have to avoid it or be afraid. Instead, we can embrace it for an opportunity to grow and build connections. Today, we have gained a deeper understanding of how conflict shapes our life and relationships. And reflecting on my own thoughts and experiences today, I have to remember that conflict could be challenging. But it could lead to a positive outcome when approached with honesty and willingness to find common ground. As you folks navigate the conflict in your life, remember to embrace the challenge and find ways for resolution. Thank you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery. Until next time.