BAD DAY

The speaker reflects on the importance of expressing emotions and dealing with personal struggles. They discuss their own experiences of feeling alone and confused during their younger years. They emphasize the need for self-reflection and finding ways to cope with difficult emotions, even when there is no one to talk to. The speaker shares their own methods, such as spending time alone in a dark room and sleeping for extended periods, to process their emotions and gain a fresh perspective. They encourage listeners to find their own ways of finding peace and self-awareness, whether through prayer, meditation, exercise, therapy, or talking to loved ones. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of doing the inner work alone and learning to let both good and bad experiences flow through oneself while seeking peace. The speaker concludes by urging listeners to find their own means of coping during difficult times, as it is necessary for personal growth and well-being. Man, fuck this day, shit, damn, what a day. I know a lot of us because of our faith systems, as soon as those words come into play, it's like, oh man, get away from that person, or they crazy, they tripping, or they don't know how to handle their emotions, but we all have moments, especially as men, we all have our moments, so sometimes you gotta let off an F-bomb, or a shit, a goddamn, or whatever it is you do, to just let it out, because it's so much better to let it out than to keep it in. For me, I remember, man, probably around the ages of 12 and 22, I'll just keep a window like that, and that's being mildly fair to myself. I will keep a lot of stuff in there, you know, about myself, about how I felt, my parents viewed me, if I was a good son, if I was a good student, if I was a good person, you know, how to become a better person, and these are all things that's roaming in my head at the age of like 12, maybe even a little younger, if I'm being honest, but I think by that age is when I actually recognized what I was thinking about, and trying to process, and trying to learn, and grow, and evolve, as a little boy, as going into trying to, you know, slightly into manhood, you know, because they say when you get 13, it's the signs of growth a little bit, you're trying to come into your own, you're smelling yourself, sometimes your parents will say, or what have you, and I just remember being so confused, and so alone at times, and this is no fault of my parents, my grandparents, and it's crazy, because I had both sets of grandparents, I had both sets of my parents, I was a truly, truly loved child, spoiled some people would say, but I call it just genuine love, right? Because even with all of that, I still had these senses of being alone all the time, you know, although I did have a brother, but he was a half-brother, and we didn't stay in the same house, if I'm being totally honest, we didn't really connect, and start building a relationship until I was like 16, 17, right, and then it kind of went away when he came to live with us, I believe I was like a freshman in college, and it just didn't work based on my mom and my dad, and whatever they felt like was going on, I didn't really have much energy in that, because I was off in college, and I would just come home on the weekends sometimes, and wash clothes, but because of that energy space that they shared, for whatever their reasons, or whatever went on, he kind of shied away from us for quite a few years, so I remember my grandfather, this is a story I didn't think I would get into, but I'll tap into it for a minute, but I remember my grandfather committed suicide, let's just get to it, and hopefully I'll share the trauma behind that, and we reconnected, and at that time, you know, of course, obviously we were grieving, so it was a small reconnection, it wasn't even the one that we really got our bond, I would say probably around when I turned 27, and I had bought me a new car, and I was just kind of showing off, feeling myself, I'll be honest about that, so I called bro and pulled up on him, but that started us kicking it almost every weekend for a long time, just kicking it, kicking it, kicking it, but I kind of veered off my point about what we should do when we're feeling some type of way, or we're just having a bad day, but hey, sometimes that just happens, but anyway, to kind of pull myself back in about having a bad day, all these different emotions go through our mind as a man, and what I want to focus on is how do you deal with that when you don't have anyone, for those who have someone to kind of vent to, or have a process, that's cool, but what do you do when you don't have a process, when you don't have meditation, when you don't have exercise, when you don't have therapy, when you don't have nothing or no one to go to, but a dark room, and remember, for me, darkness is greatness, and you can sit in a room alone, and tackle each trauma, each fear, each anxiety, each depression, each frustration alone, and come out of that with some sort of positivity, now you on to something, now you on to growth, now you on to self-awareness, now you on to self-knowing how to control your emotions a little bit, and for me, that's what I had to do, sometimes it's just coming into darkness, screaming like fuck this shit, fuck this shit, I'm tired, and I also do something where I do like a 12 hour sit still, where I shut all my devices off, I'll go into a dark room, and I'll just sleep, and it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to sleep for the entire 12 hours, although I wish I would, because that's just great for rest and recovery, but I'll probably sleep somewhere between 6 to 8 hours, right, and I'll come out of that with a fresh mind, a new perspective, and all those problems, and those emotions, those fears and anxieties are still there, they're not so strong, and I'm able to process them, and to know how to pull them up off me, and start doing something productive and positive, so you have to find your niche, whether it's praying, whether it's going to church every Sunday, whether it's sitting into meditation, whether it's exercising, going to the gym, riding a bike, or you're going to therapy, you're talking to someone, you have a loved one, or a significant other, or a spouse you can talk to, you have to find your niche, but from what I'm learning from most men, it always has to come from us within, I don't see really no other way if I'm being honest, we can use all those other tools, like footnotes, or training wheels, but ultimately we have to do the work alone, ultimately we all, every individual has to do the work alone, but that's another story for another time, but for us, we have to dig so deep within ourselves, where we criticize ourselves, we judge ourselves, we put pressure on ourselves, and then we come up with an action plan, you know, I'm trying to learn how to be more proactive as I keep on walking into this journey, I'm more of a reaction person at times, but over the past couple years I have started to work on being proactive, keeping the things in line within me so that when these problems come, they just bounce right off me, bounce right off me, I'm starting to learn to let things flow through me, it's easy to let the great things, the good things, the good times flow through you, but what do you do, and how do you process letting the bad times and the worst times flow through you, because one thing, life is duality, there's always going to be greatness, and there's always going to be sadness on the other side, there's always going to be good, and there's always going to be bad on the other side, I've recently learned to not say I'm happy, or I'm looking for happiness, I'm more so along the line looking for peace, and be peaceful through everything, let things flow through me naturally and just always be able to find peace in the bad, and peace in the good, so look for your niche on these bad days, whatever it is you have to do, scream, cry, shout, cuss, be productive, sit still, be silent, get some rest, do it, find it, it's mandatory, by every means necessary, do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones, and watch how all of a sudden you come out of all of this and you shine, you have a glow about you, you have a strength and a backbone about you that no one can take away from you, again, you'll always get that here at I Am Innerstanding Channel, stay locked in, stay focused, stay peaceful, take care, thank you.