hard life soft life

The speaker is greeting the audience and expressing gratitude for their support. They mention that they had a series of episodes with guests, which they enjoyed. They mention feeling a bit of writer's block but have topics planned ahead. The main topic for this week is whether living a comfortable life now will make life harder in the future. They discuss their perception of what a soft life is and express their opinion that maintaining a soft life is just as difficult as maintaining a hard life. They mention upcoming guests and their topics. The speaker also recaps their weekend in London and expresses their desire to travel and escape the current weather. They mention buying a leather jacket on sale and visiting food markets. They had a great time with friends and enjoyed the sunny weather in London. Hello darkness my old friend. Good morning guys. I'm saying good morning for two very good reasons. Number one, it is the morn and I'm recording the evening so I'm feeling this. This is a sleigh so I'm going to need to do this more often. And good morning because when you listen to it, it's going to be Thursday morning. So hi guys, welcome back to Nailed It. Thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it. It is Tuesday, the 9th of April in a new month, new energy. The last time I saw you guys was pre Easter. We concluded the one on one series, which was a bittersweet. It's definitely my favorite cluster of episodes today. Obviously, the more I record more I'm enjoying it. So it was super, super fun. But I absolutely loved, loved having guests on. I love everything that we covered all the topics, all the input from you guys as listeners. It has been absolutely 1010 across the board. So I really appreciate that. Thank you very, very much. You're gonna have to let me know what you want to hear next. To be honest, I might as well get this out in the open now. I'm feeling a little bit of writer's block if that's what we can call it. Excuse me. I normally don't have caffeine on an empty stomach, but it's decaffeinated tea. You can tell. Anyway, it's alright, it'll do. It doesn't hit quite the same as that first bleed of caffeine into the veins, but it's fine. Anyway, yeah, I was hitting a bit of a creative stumbling block and I don't know why because I've got episodes planned up until, well, August now when I actually look back. But I think because before I was on such a rolling trajectory with like, you're coming next week, you're coming the week after, and the content we were covering, because I was enjoying speaking to my guests so much, it was so long. I was doing two part episodes. It's like, I kind of didn't have to think about my topics for a while, which was like quite good because I had other things going on in life as well that were keeping me busy. So it worked really well for me. But then I kind of got to this week and was like, shit, what the fuck am I going to talk about? But here we are. We've got our topic. I asked a beautiful audience and you answered me. So this week we're going to be covering, is a soft life now making for a hard life later? I just lost my train of thought, so I'm going to edit that in. Yeah, is a soft life now making for a hard life later? No, let's start again. So yeah, we've got our topic for this week, which is really exciting that we're going to get into in a short memento. And then we've got some, good Lord, this is going to be a challenging one. And then we've got some lovely guests coming in your ears, literally. We've got a wonderful lady who goes by the name of Beth Mills, Bethany Mills, if you know her. In fact, scrap that, Beth Nasri. Retweet, when you hear this, you'll know. We're going to be covering a number of different topics together, funnily enough, but we're going to actually be starting with a topic about her religion. I think it's going to be an extremely interesting topic, so I hope you tune into that. We've got Miss Nicole, if you remember Astrology 101, listen up. Nicole's going to be coming back and we're going to be talking all things manifestation, as well as where we are now, where we're going, what era we're in, et cetera. And yeah, and we're going to get this train back on track in terms of the guests, guys, so I'm looking forward to it. But this week is all about, is a hard life now? Scrap that. This week is all about, is a soft life now making for a hard life later? By that we mean, and I was asked to explain this and give it some context, I don't know why I'm sitting like a full-on bloke, apologies for anyone watching on the YouTube. But is a soft life now making for a hard life later? And by that, it was actually a topic that someone requested of me way, way back in, oh, like, October last year when I put my podcast out there and I was like, you know, what topics do you want to hear, blah, blah, blah, and I was brainstorming a lot. And essentially, it's more focusing on like, if we work hard now, are we going to benefit from the rewards later on in life, or earlier, earlier if anything, as in, you know, are we going to get to retire earlier? Things like that. Or, is the soft life now going to make it more difficult later on? And for me, I think the soft life has changed. I think what is perceived now, and when I say perceived, I mean like, you know, what's being put out there on social media, what people market as the soft life. And for me, when you think of people posting, I'm in my soft girl era, I'm in this era, I'm in that era. For me, it's a hell of a lot of, you know, Pilates, reformer, barre, you know, running, drinking matcha or other green drinks and things like that, and it's, it isn't, for me, it isn't actually what a soft life is. I actually think, and someone else wrote in and said this, and I thought they were spot on, I think maintaining a soft life now is actually just as hard as maintaining a hard life. That's my opinion, you don't like it, that's fine, you don't agree, that's okay, it's an opinion based podcast. So, before we get into it, let's hit off with a weekend recap because when I last saw you, it was pre-Easter, and I want to know what everybody did. I went to the big smoke. I had a stunning time, I had a day with the family, and then I had a day with the girlies, the girly pops, and it was gorgeous, actually, oh my god, it was sunny on the Saturday. Honestly, normally, weirdly, I don't think a lot of people can say this, I'm a bit of a UK stan, I don't mean like, you know, British Bulldog, tattooed on the calf, but I like living in this country. Oh, I've got a window open upstairs, sorry I was at the shit for knickers then. Anyway, I really like living in this country, okay, like, I've been abroad, I've had the opportunity and I've still got the opportunity to go and work and live in Australia, and I have turned it down, and most people listening to this will think I'm an absolute fruitcake, and you know what, I might look back on this in five years and go, you fucking numbsay, but right now, it suits me, and that is a whole different episode, if you want to hear about why I've not gone down under yet, please let me know if you want to hear that episode too, but it will be coming. But I like living in the UK, right, I don't hate it, and I always feel like when the weather's good in the UK, you can't beat it, because it's like, you know, all your friends are here, your family's here, in the majority, for me anyway, like, I think everyone's here, I know where everything is, and when the weather's good, like, you know, unreal, yeah, it's not UV10, I'm not sat in Mexico with a margarita in my hand, but I can make a homemade strawberry daiquiri and sit in garden. So, you know, I quite like the UK, but normally around this time of year, spring has sprung, and you know, we're getting some nice little pockets of sunshine and this, that, and the other. This year, it is, I've already said the date, but it is currently Tuesday the 9th of April, and I can recall about four days of sunshine this year, it has been fucking shit, and I say that with ultimate trust, I'm so done with this country this year, like, I can't stress it enough, in the coming weeks, I'm going to be booking a solo trip and getting the F out of here, I'm going to be sitting in some sun, I literally, I really need a break, right, I really want some time off work, but if I book time off to sit in this country, I'll go insane, or I'll go to the Trafford Centre and blow all my wage, like, no, I want to go sit somewhere in the sun that has a gym and a pool, and me and my Kindle, and my seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo can absolutely get it on at the side of the pool, because I've just had it, I've had it up to here, but I'm not about to sit in this country and use annual leave for this weather, it's shite, I hope by the time I put this out on Thursday it's improved, but I guarantee it hasn't, so anyway, I'm digressing there, so a bit of sun in London was absolutely, I had no jacket on, I felt like that bitch strutting them streets, speaking of jackets, I picked up a cracking number from Urban Outfitters, sale on, I never go in Urban Outfitters, normally because I'm like, I ain't paying those prices, you know, I'm not like someone that does a, girl, there's 20% off on your basket, I'm like, mmm, purchase, but I went in Urban Outfitters and I've been after a leather jacket for a period of time, did I pick up a steal, absolutely, should have been 78 quid, I paid 34, honestly, call me Martin Lewis, money saving expert, I wore that jacket like a badge, to be honest I've not had it off since we came back, and I absolutely love it, but oh my god, let me tell you this, so we had a full day of shopping, we went out, we had a couple of drinks, some lovely food, they have so many good markets in London for food, it was unreal, Borough Market has literally turned into a TikTok hotspot, you cannot move for people, you know the chocolate covered strawberries that you see everywhere on TikTok, the queue for it was literally like a snake just going round, I was like, boys and girls, make it at home, I mean, it looked stunning, the strawberries were red, do you know what I mean, loving him was red, that kind of red, but still, I just thought it was a little bit obscene for what it was, but anyway, we skipped Borough Market and went to a different one, and it was gorgeous, and we just had a really lovely time, and it was so nice, so I went with Emily and Pip, Pip has recorded Unpopular Opinions with me, the queen, and Emily is one of our other best friends, and it was just so nice to go and spend, you know, some little quality time together, I think when you're in a bigger group sometimes, like, obviously, you're just living in the big group moments, aren't you, and it's not often you break off and do little things on your own, so for it to just be us three, I thought, really bloody nice, and to, like, go and be at Emily's home and, like, see all the things that she gets to do and meet her other friends, it was gorgeous, loved it. So, we went out on Saturday night, right, we'd always planned to go out, we was going out in Shoreditch to Book Club, get on this, the woman at the door, so we got there, we'd had quite a few pre-drinks, and we'd been pissing around to be fair, getting ready, I've gotten used to going out early and being home by one, Emily was like, yeah, we'll go out about midnight, I was like, excuse me, we'll do work now, so I was like, right, okay, I'm taking it back to my 2018 days here, you know, let's go till 5am, I was not feeling prepared for it, I'm not gonna lie, so we get to the club and she's like, oh, they're quite, like, rough on the door, they're gonna search you, but they'll body search you, and I was like, god, that's random, but fair, and they put us in, like, a male and female queue, so a female security guide to search females, and by thirty, I was like, yeah, cool, I'm bored with that, I was like, girly, touch me up, I'm nothing to hide, no weapons of mass destruction here, apart from the desk, let me in the club, I could hear, excuse me, I could hear Drake playing on the lower ground, I was like, sis, if I can't duttywine past you right now, we'll have a problem, anyway, she goes through my bag, and you know, normally, they just open your bag and they have a little look, again, for me, I like a thorough search, because I feel safe, like, knowing that other people are getting searched that thoroughly, it pisses me off that you go to the MEN now, and sometimes they don't even search every bag, like, search me, search me to the core, put me through an MRI machine before I go through that building, do you know what I mean, but anyway, I digress, so I went in, and she goes through my bag, and she's having a rifle, and I was like, do you want to borrow some perfume, queen, she worked for jokes, fairs, she took my fucking straw off me, she actually, I take, I have a metal straw in every handbag upstairs, right, I have them in my wet bag, I take them everywhere, they're clean, obviously, but I take them everywhere, because, obviously, we all know, I drink through straws, um, she took my straw off me, she bashed it on her hand, to like, I was like, honey, it's a blunt object, like, good luck if I can stab anyone with that, and she took it off me, put it in a bin, I was like, oh, okay, then I had fucking paper straws all night, I was like, stunning, just what the doctor ordered, anyway, I was driving home early Sunday morning to get back for my grandad-in-law's 80th birthday do, it was a whole thing, all Finn's dad's side of the family had come down, all the seller's dad's side of the family had come down, it was a full shebang, so I knew I had to be on top form Sunday morning, right, it was bank holiday weekend as well, so I was like, right, come on, you know, Sunday's normally the big day, if anything, so, you know what, girlies, I'm just going to take it easy tonight, at a certain point, I'm going to stop drinking, but, obviously, we'd gone out late, so I was like, oh, I don't want to be a buzzkill, I was like, fuck it, body and limo, tequila rose, and off we went, and we crapped on, and we were boogieing on down, it was vibes, vibes, vibes, anyway, I'd been in the club for probably no longer than an hour, and I looked at my phone, and I went, you know it's a good night when you're not looking at your phone, do you know what I mean, we were literally just boogieing, and it was ramble, like, I'm not being funny, it was Sergio, I looked at my phone, it was 20 past two in the morning, I went, what the fuck, I was like, we've only been here an hour, I was like, you know what I mean, it stopped me dead in my tracks, I was like, surely to God, we have not been here that long, anyway, clocks have gone fucking forward, haven't they, oh my God, could not believe it, so it shortened the night, or our devil, it literally ruined everything, straight away I went to the bar, I was like, can I have four pints of water please, and I just started necking them, literally, the ice cold water was running from my head to toe, I was doing everything in my power to sober myself up, I thought, shit the bed, this is going to be uncomfortable, I can feel the drive home already, anyway, everyone got really drunk by me, I was, you know, on the sobering up journey, and by the time we got everyone home, Emily's friend, we dropped her off at her apartment, our Uber driver was not feeling cute about us, so he only did one drop off, I was like, cheers mate, so we had to then get the bus back up through Brixton, and I'm not being funny, people are confident in London, people are brave, like, I don't know what it is, I've never been in a club, followed by like an after event, with so many confident men, who just come up to you, willy nilly, and start chatting you up, and they'll get right up in your grill, like, you alright darling, what you doing, fuck off, nothing with you, mind your own business, never seen anything like it, God praise men from up north, that is all I will say, and most of the men up north are ratbags anyway, but damn God did I feel better about being from up here, I just couldn't deal with it, the confidence, the handsiness, no, no, no, no, no, dancing in the club, and feel free to join the queue, and start bumping and grinding, get off, fuck off, not here for that, know your boundaries, any of you listening, know your boundaries, don't touch, it rattles my core, touch when invited, but you're not invited, you're NFI, anyway, I'm digressing, by the time we got home, Emily ordered the Maccies, by the way, PSA, never seen Emily that drunk, literally felt like I'd take something off my bucket list, it was great, got home, and you know when you're just done, like, there was this guy in my face outside the club, and he was like, oh, you're coming back, you're coming back darling, are we all going for an after party, yeah, yeah, yeah, best London accent ever, I was like, no, I'm going home in four, I'm driving home, back to Charlie, Preston, I'm going four hours up the fucking M1 and M6, at 6am, it's half four, I'm going to have an hour and a half sleep, I was like, what in your right mind makes you think I would go anywhere with you when I have time, I'll go anywhere with you right now, go away, I was just sold on, Pipster taking a picture of me, I was like, still up here, delete it, I wasn't, read the room, Pipster, you know what I mean, I was just not in the headspace, so, we get home, Emily goes, oh, I've ordered a Maccies, Maccies didn't turn up, speaking of things that didn't turn up, neither did my fucking Zara order that I'm the outfit in for the night, so I had to put something else together, and you know when you have something planned in your mind, and then you have to change it, it was so disappointing, disappointing him, disappointing, I was gutted, he said he delivered it, he didn't, I'm still waiting on my refund, Zara, sorted out, he took a picture of someone else's front door saying I've delivered it, he said, pity not, that's not the front door, oh, anyway, the Maccies also didn't show up, so we came home, scoffed some Pringles, took our make-up off, and I had an hour and 15 minutes sleep before I had to wake up, get dressed, brush my peggy-goos, and I thought we were about to get on the tube, and I went, let's just get a taxi, Pip, we got a taxi across London to Stanmore station, so I drive to Stanmore and then get the tube in, easier, works like a charm, stunning, it was the best £30 I've ever spent on an Uber in my life, it was unreal, number one, no traffic through London, I was like, whoa, I was living like a Princess Diaries moment, like looking at everything out the car window, but yeah, we was absolutely hanging, and by some grace of God, we made it home in one piece, and I was fine, I didn't feel fine, I definitely didn't look fine, but I was able to drive, never in my life am I doing that again, that was character building at its finest, and I made it home on an hour's sleep, I got ready, and you know one of them get readies where you stand back in the mirror and you think, how do I look nice, it was that moment, I turned up and was like, oh, you look fresh, did you have a nice night, a quiet one, I was like, yeah, silencio, anyway, we had a stunning wholesome day, and we ran off the bank holiday weekend that night, I had about 12 hours of sleep and it was gorgeous, but yeah, and ever since that, I've just been in my anti-era, I've been spending lots of time with Rory and Zara, which has been super cute, so that has been my last couple of weekends, hope you've had a gorgeous one, and shall we get into today's episode? So, is a soft life now making for a hard life later? Well, you guys have a hell of a lot to say about it, let me tell you, and we've got quite a big mix of opinions, which I'm quite, I'm into, do you know what I mean, but yeah, I mean, like I said before, this is how I, the way social media paints it out, and how realistic it is, I think is two different things. For me, I think a simple life is better than a soft life, because I think the emphasis that's been put on being a soft girly, or a soft anything, is like, it actually is coming down to your aesthetic, rather than the life choices that you make, and it's like, oh, make sure you're in your matching gym set, oh, put a bow in your hair, oh, buy the hair oil, buy the lip oil, buy this, I'm in my soft girl era, fuck off, I'm sick of these eras, I'm sick of labelling things in that sense, do you know what I mean? It really bugs me, like, we're obsessed as a society, and it's just getting worse, oh, I'm in my office zixen era, what the fuck's one of them? Put your office pants on, and your brogues, and get your arse at your fucking desk, I can't be dealing with that. But yeah, I think, I definitely think what was the simple life has now been like, turned into the soft life, and yeah, in my opinion, I do kind of think the soft life now is harder to fulfil, or as hard to fulfil as the hard life, so I, myself, I would say I'm, I definitely don't have a hard life, right, I don't, I know that, I'm a privileged individual, but I work hard for what I've got. When I say privileged, I mean, I've got a roof over my head, I've got food in the fridge, you know, I've got a job with a steady income, like, that, to me, is like, it's a big thing, but I work hard for the things I've got, so I would not put myself in the soft life category. I probably won't even put myself in the simple life category, albeit I'm trying to make my life simpler. That's just me right now. So, I, this is how I defined it on the gram, and then we're going to go into what you guys actually think. So, my take on things was this, hard life, grafting at work, maybe working all the time, working yourself for the benefits of what is to come. I would put that in stretching yourself in, maybe not prioritising yourself, or investing in your health and wellbeing. Sorry, no, I do say you're investing in your health and wellbeing, but I think you can do that in both categories, but I think it's kind of, again, marketed and done differently. Over committing, I would say, probably a lack of sleep. You might invest yourself where you've got a return on, like, financially, essentially, and you tend to work hard over manifesting it and thinking that things will come to you. And then soft life, again, this is what I've pulled from other people, and probably for the context of this episode, is like, you know, work is kind of not at the top of your agenda, which I think's fine. Different ideas. Now, for me, in the simple life, money doesn't buy you happiness. In the soft life, you need money to maintain that soft life, you need it. It's like, I just want to be a rich girl, yeah, I want to marry a rich man, do you know what I mean? That, to me, is the soft life. The simple life is where you're like, materialistic things don't matter, but in the soft life, they definitely do with how it's painted today. You've got different ideas and drives regarding your idea of life and how to get there. You kind of, in a little bit, maybe it's a dreamland mentality, which I definitely normally live in, even though I would put myself more in the harder side. You do a lot more manifestation over working towards your goals. Now, here's one for me that I think is in the soft life that I think everyone should do regardless, and that is that you prioritise sleep, because that's literally the number one factor in getting anything done, and I think the more you prioritise sleep, the better everything becomes. And I'd say, probably personalising, I'd personally say prioritising yourself over others. So, they would be my definitions of the two. In terms of the statement, do I think a soft life now is making for a hard life later? Potentially, and I think a lot of that is down to my upbringing and how I've been brought through life, in the sense that I've always been taught, if you want nice things, you've got to work hard for it, and it won't just come to you on a plate. And then, you kind of look at some people and you think, they have got it on a plate, and that all then comes down to actual privilege and being fortunate and having wealth in the family, or things around them that enable them to be that just off the bat. You see a lot of people in houses or creating their own start-up companies, and it's like, oh, they already came from money though. Everyone only wants to invest in the story where someone came from nothing type thing, which I think is bollocks. If you have a belief in something and you enjoy something, regardless of whether you had help of investment from people around you or you started it with a pound, it doesn't matter, as long as the end product is what you wanted and what you set out for, then that's great. Obviously, those who already have a bit of a backing, it's a little bit more, people tend to frown upon it, most of the time because they're just jealous because they didn't do something like that themselves. People will say, yeah, but the mum and dad already had money, yeah, but this, yeah, but that, yeah, but it doesn't matter how much money the mum and dad had, they still needed the initiative to go and take it and run with it and to convince them to hand some money over and say, look, I've got an idea, I really want to run with it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I've always been taught you've got to work hard for the things you want. I know that I'm only where I am because I've worked hard. If I didn't have pushed myself at work, I would not be earning the money that I'm on, I would not be doing the job that I'm on, I would not have some of the flexibility that I have, and then the knock-on effect of that would be, if I didn't work hard, I wouldn't have the money, so I wouldn't have nice things, I wouldn't have the car that I wanted, I wouldn't go on the holidays that I wanted. Now, there's nothing to say I wouldn't still be living a fruitful life if I hadn't worked hard, but my life would look very different, there's no two ways about that, but I might have chosen to do something different. If I would have never met my partner and I'd have sat work off and gone travelling, things like that, my life could look very different. I might not be sat in this house, but I could be sat in Bali doing something very, very different. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily working less. Okay, if I was swatting off around Bali right now, I probably would be working less, but it doesn't mean that I have a different sort of dedication, but I'd have different goals, and I think a lot of the time your life situation, your circumstances can determine how hard or soft you are. I think if I was single and I had different goals and different drives, so like my end result, so to speak, I might be in more of like a soft era and a soft life because, you know, I might potentially be working towards less than what I'm working towards now, and that's not because my partner determines what I work towards, but because there's two of us, because we want to have, you know, a good quality of life together, we want to go on nice holidays, we want to have dogs, we might want to start a family one day, like we're working towards that, we're working towards building that life for us, but if it was just me, I might be in a one-bed apartment in the middle of the city, chin chilling on my own, only doing things for me, so I could be a Pilates girlie, I could be drinking my green juice, do you know what I mean? And it's not to say that because I'm in a relationship I can't drink my green juice and go to Pilates, but it's all about being realistic and making it relative to your situation, which is something I say quite a lot, but I really want to get into some of the things that people have wrote in about because I really, really, really enjoyed these. So let's start off with the polls. First one is, the box on the question, is a soft life now making for hard life later? We had 49% of yes, with a 50-50 display on no and not sure, so the majority of you voted yes. I then asked, do we focus too much on the end goal? Are we putting too much on ourselves or are we working towards early retirement slash early rewards? So 44% voted yes I'm living for my future, 14% voted we've got time to work later, I'm not my personal favourite, which still didn't win, however 42% voted lol I don't want to do either, which is me. I would love to be sat with a million pound in the bank and not having to get up and go to work, I would love to log off this podcast and not have to do a full day shift after it, but guess what? That's life! Do you know what I mean? It is what it is. And then I asked for everybody's input, so I got quite a lot of different writings, which was really, really good. The first one which I enjoyed was, I think there's too much pressure on having a soft life. I was like, oh explain girly, I said give me more. She said, I also think having a soft life is a hard life, it's just portrayed in reels on TikTok as simple, but it's really not. Couldn't agree more, this is what I'm talking about. When you search I'm in my soft girlier and you see what they're doing, even the products they're using alone, the way they're dressing, and yes you can achieve that on a budget, I'm not saying you can't, but that is hard, that comes at a price, and at what price are you going to get that? If I choose to graft at work and do all the time, then it's because I want or need to for financial benefits, it doesn't make my life any less than someone's soft life, which I thought was very interesting. And that's a big thing for me, you know, don't get me wrong, just because I would put myself in the working hard category. I've not got millions sat in bank either, I've got some savings, but I'm a payday to payday girly, I've got shit to do, I've got clothes I want to wear, I've got holidays I want to go on, and I am of the mindset, and again probably because of my situation and because of the things I've experienced, but if I got hit by a bus yesterday, I can't take this money with me, I'd much rather go down with it being spent and of having a good time than thinking, oh glad I served up all that money. For what? For what? If I ever have children, they're going to be brought up to go and either go to unit or go to college, you know, go and fulfill yourselves in whatever way possible, but they're going to be brought up the way I was brought up. They're not going to be brought up to think, oh mum and dad worked hard so if it all goes to shit, I'll bank off them. No! That's our hard workings and money to give you guys a good life, but you've got to go make one for yourself as well, do you know what I mean? I'm not going to boot them out on the streets at 16 like, right, sorted out, but they're also not going to be fucking bums, so that, I'm really really big on that, but that's the same, like, I get paid and by the end of the month I'm not swimming in the money, but I might have booked another holiday, I might have bought an outfit I really wanted, probably didn't need, I might have had a really good month going out, like, I am living for now, albeit I'm working hard to get what I want, I am still 100% living for the here and now. I think the other thing on this as well, me and a couple of my friends were talking about, in fact, I'll get on to that, and I said, yeah, going, being a Pilates, matric early can be hard, shit, who has time for that? I work long shifts, I go to uni, I can just about sit in my usual gym, and I couldn't agree more, so I was talking to one of the other girls about this, who said, can you have a soft life and work hard? Absolutely, absolutely, you've got to make it fit in with you. So, for example, I've just said, I'm not a Pilates girl, I actually love Pilates, really enjoy it, I love Reformer Pilates, but my closest class is 25 minutes away from my house, right, so I've drive 25 minutes somewhere for a 45-minute class and then 25 minutes back, that's nearly two hours, or I can drive the 10-15 minute drive to my gym, do an hour, an hour and a half, and then either drive to my mum's or drive home, and for the same amount of time I've spent there, I've gotten more out of that situation. Do you understand what I'm saying? So, for me, I think you've got to make it fit in with you. On the flip side, when I talked before about if I was single and I lived in the city, which is probably something I would have done, I would 100% be portraying the soft girl life, I would be going to Pilates, because my apartment would probably be walking distance from one, because that type of exercise now is coming up very popular and it's big in the cities, so they've got classes popping up everywhere. If you look for your nearest Reformer class, it's probably in a city, 9 times out of 10, or some backstreet studio in a farmhouse, do you know what I mean? So, if I had a different situation, I may be doing that. So, I think it's definitely got to be relative. Another thought we got here was, on the flip side, a soft life is potentially ideal, because it focuses on simplicity, but it doesn't have to be in fancy Pilates studios. I work in mental health and I encourage all the basic ideas of a soft life for patients to try and recover, but the glamorized soft life puts pressure on the fancy aspects and makes it hard to achieve and sustain, and that's what I think the bottom line is. I think we've kind of let the simple life, it's not the simple life anymore, it's been branded as the soft life, whereas the simple life is the simple things, bringing you joy, going on a walk, do you know what I mean? You can romanticize things, there's nothing wrong with romanticizing things, and trust me, if you want to buy the lip oil, the hair oil, the matching outfit, do it. I'm big on doing whatever you want to do, but I think we've made the soft life harder to maintain and it is no longer the simple life. So, that is definitely an opinion that I agree with. Here's another one I got. Talk about the desire to not have a hard life whatsoever, retweet. No one wants a hard life, do they? I mean, for me, I find it quite rewarding when I work hard and get something out of it, but in terms of a hard life, no one wants a hard life, but here's one. I feel like they definitely can be when I think of the grind, I feel tired. Again, the grind mentality, we've talked about this quite a lot over the last couple of weeks. It's kind of gone to extremes, hasn't it? You can't just be a grafter anymore and you can't just be a simple person anymore. The hard working life is kind of like, oh, get up at 4am, go and do this. You know, I see lots of TikToks and reels of, oh, my 5am to 8am routine before my 9 to 5 and you're thinking in your head, who the fuck is waking up at 5am to go and do that? I can't be after that shit. So, or you've got the complete opposite side, which obviously I already talked about, where it's like, I get up at, you know, 10 to 9, I make a nice coffee, I journal, I meditate, I do red light therapy, then I log on. You know what I mean? Like, even the music in the background is different. You go from Slipknot to fucking orchestra. Like, what if you're somewhere in the middle? I reside in the middle. Some days, I get up at 6 and I feel belted and I think, you know what, I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to go for a walk, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm going to record my podcast. Other days, I can barely drag myself out of bed at half 8 and I just literally log on in my pyjamas and I muster myself up through the day and come about 1 o'clock, I'm kind of feeling all right. Shit happens, like, you're going to feel different on different days. Obviously, for some people, it is their brand, it is the, that's how they come across, that they are a soft person or they are a hard life person, you know. Some people have to be in the high rocks class, some people want to be sat with the iced coffee in the garden, journaling. Do you know what I mean? I want to do it all, but I don't have the fucking time. I'm on the realistic wavelength that some days you've got time and energy and other days you fucking do not. And I think the way that we've like, obviously because things like TikTok and like Instagram and Reels and things like that are so big, we've put such a spotlight on like, making sure everyone knows how you're living your life as well. Make sure, and I'm no different, I'm like, not anything in this, but making sure that everyone knows that you're getting up at daft o'clock to go to the gym, make sure everyone knows that you're on the cross-trainer, make sure everyone knows that you've been to Pilates, you know what I mean? That's the world that we live in now, so it's just put more and more emphasis on it, and when you see someone and you think they've got the life together, you start looking at, how have they got their life together? Oh, well, they get up at such a time and go to a class, oh, they do this, they do that, do you know what I mean? It's comparing, comparing? It's comparing all the time, but can it be detrimental to your mental health? I think labelling yourself and putting that much focus on things can be detrimental to your mental health either way, whether you go for the hard-working life or the more chilled life, I think it can be just as bad either way. I know people who have a very different life approach to me and they've sort of had a lower self-esteem or like, their mental health has lacked because they've not been stimulated and fulfilled in some ways, and then I know some other people who literally work themselves into the ground and they're fucking miserable. It depends how extreme you go on either side of the spectrum, I believe. Here's another one. I asked the question, do you believe if you work harder now, we can retire, we can chill the F out and retire sooner than retirement age? Someone said, yes, that's what it's all about. I got 36% there and 64% on no, it'll be forever. Raw. I got a message saying, and yes, I know. I said, oh, tell me more. So she said, I believe I'm going to retire at 55 as a choice, but then I look at my pension plan and I'll probably work forever. This pause, honestly, the thought of the retirement age being any more than 50 and 55, which I know it already is, but it knocks me sick. I look at my mum now, my mum is 61 and she's still working her bollocks off. And obviously to me, my mum is, she doesn't feel any older, but I know she is. And it's like, I want you to be chilling. I literally want you to be chilling out, my legs are now cool. And don't get me wrong. She's not like building a fucking house. She's not laying bricks or anything, but she gets up at like 5am every day to go to work and gets home at four. And I'm like, poor sod. Like maybe I should birth you a grandchild so you can go part-time and look after it. Do you know what I mean? Like I want her to be able to relax and put her feet up. I don't want to still be doing that at 60. That is my biggest motivation now, is that I want to work hard to not be doing that when I am that age. Anyway, I digress. I look at my pension plan and think I'll work forever, but then I'm also like, why do I need to work longer? Facts. And why should I? But then I'm like, I shouldn't be grinding all the time to save when I should be living now. But living now is too expensive and impossible without the money. Facts. This country has made it impossible to live. So I probably work harder to have a better retirement because I want a bit of work and a place. I want to work hard and achieve shit, but I also just want to travel and see the world. IE, we all need a sugar daddy with a yacht. And I said, yes, in Dubai, with a thong, we do. That is literally it summarised in a nutshell. It is so hard to live the life that we all set out to live without having some money in the bank. Do you know what I mean? Like we think, oh, I want to go travel. I want to go to Thailand. I want to go to Bali. I want to go to New York. I want to do this. Like the holiday list I have in my mind is so extensive, it's a joke. It is unrealistic. But then I think, well, I earn X amount, so I'm just going to do it. And then I think, how am I going to pay those bills? So it is a really hard balance. I couldn't agree more. It's like you get to a certain point, you think, why should I actually be working? And on that note, we talked about this in quite a lot of depth. So the girl who wrote in about that is someone that I'm quite friendly with. And it's an understatement. But we thought, there's actually three of us, we thought about potentially peaking early in the sense of, so I didn't go to college. I didn't go to uni. And a couple of my other friends didn't either. And they got straight into work. And so I've been working now since I was 16. I'm 25. I'm 26 this year. That's nearly 10 years. And I look at where I've got to in my career. And I'm kind of like, is this it? I know it's not it. I know we strive for more. We go again and go again and go again. And it's like, oh, you know, all the goals I set for myself of what I want to be when I'm 30, maybe I'll hit them. But sometimes I look around at my peers who are like in the 50s, and we're doing the same job and, you know, potentially on the same money, they're probably on still more than me. But you know what I mean? And I'm like, is this it? Is this all it is? You know, I'm like, have we peaked too early? Should I have gone to uni and been wild for a few years? Should I have done this? Should I have done that? Should I have had the gap year and traveled so that I could be doing all these things later on in life? And then I'm thinking, but have I done it right? Like, will I get to 50 and hang my boots up and sell my big house and retire on my boat, like Rosie and Jim and go sail all the canals of the UK? I don't know. Obviously, like you can't predict it. But it's a very, very tricky one. And I think sometimes it's easy, especially when you start managing people who are older than you. And you start there and you're like, fucking hell, like, have I got to this point? I know I threw sheer grass, but if this is, is there more than this? Are we going to get higher? Like, is it realistic to earn X amount of money? Is the next job offers realistic for where I am in life? It's a proper perplexing one when you started working from a young age. I've had a lot of messages about the retirement age and calling the government pedos and nonces, which is fair play, would agree. Here's one on the flip side. I don't think anyone should quit working or engaging their brain completely ever. Stimulation of the mind keeps people alive. Even after retirement, getting involved with projects or keeping active is paramount to actually enjoy being retired and not being in and out of hospital because you've become a couch slob. Just an opinion, obviously, but mental and physical fitness should be a lifestyle, not a trend for Insta or to look banging on holiday. Ah, okay, so that's like the extra add-on. I do tend to agree, and I've noticed that a lot in my company, that people who have retired have come back and worked like a day or two a week, you know, just to keep themselves stimulated and in the mix, and I like to think that that wouldn't be me, but it's easy to say that when I'm not in that position yet. Who the fuck knows? I might get to 50 and think, I'm not slowing down. I've got more to give. Do you know what I mean? I might also get there and think, bye, see you later. I'm going to the Maltese, darling. I do definitely believe in keeping yourself stimulated, though. I look at my grandad. My grandad's just turned 80. He goes out and plays golf every day. He's always cooking new recipes, things like that. He's always gardening. He's keeping himself stimulated. When we hit the pandemic and he got poorly, he was ill literally for about three years. Like, he was so unwell for such a long time, and part of that was not being stimulated. The other part of it was getting long COVID, but you know, I digress. I'm not a top health. I don't work for the NHS. I don't know nothing. There's no really ill, all right. But I do agree that we should be keeping ourselves stimulated. I think that is a massive, massive factor. She then went on to say, the whole soft life thing boils my blood, to be honest. Some of it, I totally get, whereas some of it screams laziness and lack of work ethic. Interesting take. Work hard now while we're young. No kids, fit and healthy, so that when we're our parents' ages, we can go on two or three holidays a year, give our kids a very comfortable life, knowing mum and dad worked hard to give them what they have, and then to be able to enjoy growing older. Disgracefully, of course. This is a very one-sided response, by the way, but it's interesting to hear. I get called boring so often about work being my priority, but then compliments on my car, fitness routine, and mindset. Nothing worth having comes easy, and I think so many people are too entitled or lazy to think that way. Girl, got a point. I've had, I mean, fair play to you, Queen. But some people have said to me before, you live a really exciting life, or you're in good shape, or this, that, and the other, and it's like, yeah, some people are born with it. Maybe it is Maybelline. I'm not. To stay in decent shape, I have to be in the gym. I have to be doing this, that, and the other. To go and do the nice things in life means I have to work. Some people are like, oh, you're always working away. You're always, I don't know how you do it. Because I'm going on five holidays this year, Queen. That's why I'm doing it. It's not how, it's why. It is my why. It is my reason for getting out of bed, because I can't wait to be living in a different house with my dream kitchen and my five golden retrievers. Living life. That is my why. So yeah, that's a really interesting take, though, for sure. And then she also went on to say, which makes me laugh, and I will digress, I think you've got it nailed. You've got your ass off on your job, no doubt, or you wouldn't be where you are now, but you also make time for your fella, your friends, and stuff you love to do. Balance is key. Too much of the hard life, and you're miserable as shit. Too much of the soft life, you've not got a grip on reality, and you're not making anything easy for yourself in the long run. Now that I agree and I disagree with. I agree with what she said at the end. I disagree with that I've got it nailed, because some days, as we know, I do not. I try, and this is going to be another episode we're going to cover about the importance of self-care, because that has really been stressed to me recently. I'm on the back end of a mental breakdown that happened about four weeks ago, maybe five, because I was running myself into the ground. I'm not balancing it or making time for anything else. Gym, fella, friends included. I was wee knackered. But balance is the key, and I do agree that if you have too much of one, you'll be miserable, and too much of the other, you will kind of lose your grip on reality. Again, that is an opinion that I agree with 100%. Here's another one. Oh, by that, I mean, remember when we were in London and we were talking about this? Now, I was at a talk the other week, and they were literally talking about these CEOs, and this woman was like, if I would have gone easy on myself, and I didn't push myself, and I wouldn't have got on this flight when I was ill, and I got on this flight to Canada to do a pitch. I went and, like, literally fainted on the flight. I was that ill, but when I landed in Canada, I did the pitch, and I've had this, like, client or whatever for seven years since, and it's like, if she would have gone soft on herself then, she would never have got that result. Oh, I love real-life examples of it. So, we were actually talking about this, because the girl who sent that in, she is in the similar mindset to me of pushing herself for the end goal. So, we went away, and there was a group of us. Two of us, in the four, us two are quite similar, and then the other two girls are really similar. We all get on, we're all besties, live, laugh, love, big sleigh, but we have different approaches to things. Us two would be more of the, yeah, but if we do this, we'll get there, and then we can enjoy the end result. The other two would be, like, a little bit more chilled, more, like, taking it in, just a different way of doing things, basically. You get to the same result in the end, but a different way of getting there, and we connect on the fact that we think, yeah, but if we push through this next bit, this is where we'll get to, and a big example of that was the girl who I'm similar with and one of the other girls, both got sick. One of them got on the flight home and one didn't. Now, that's nothing to do with the hard life and the soft life, but her approach was, I cannot stay here any longer. I'm going to force myself through this disgusting thing to get on the plane and get home, because I know that I will feel better when I'm home. The other girl stayed an extra day so that she would feel better going home. So, they both got home, they both ended up getting home, and they both was poorly, but they had two different approaches on getting there. Now, I, and I'm so glad this didn't happen, because when I have had food poisoning, I have been unwell to my core and not been able to leave my bed, and I've been scared to fart. I would have forced myself to get on the plane, purely because I know what I'm like. I'd have gone out of my mind being in that country on my own again for another day, whereas I rate, number one, the independence of staying there for an extra day, because I would have low-key shit myself. Especially if I'd been, I mean, maybe not so much now, because I've done solo trips now, but at the time, I think because I'd gone from being with the girlies, if I didn't end up being on my own, I'd have felt really like, um, and I'd have just wanted to get home and, you know, like, feel clean and feel different. But then it's like, but then when she travelled home, she felt fine. She was fine on the plane. She wasn't worried. The flight probably went like that. It didn't feel like it was a 10-hour flight when it was only a two-and-a-half-hour flight, do you know what I mean? So, it's like, they both got to the same result in the end, but they did it differently with a different intention in mind, or the intention was the same, but the execution was different. But that example of the woman who forced herself through and made the pitch then really benefited her later on in life, whereas she could have felt like shit, not got on the plane, not made the pitch, not got the customer, had a very different life. So, I definitely see the, why you would push yourself and get the different result in the end. She basically said, I do think sometimes you have to do hard things to be able to have a soft life. I agree. I 100% agree with that. To live comfortably and live calmly, I think you have to do some things. So, another one here. Um, she said she's gonna love this episode. I have so many thoughts on this. I was like, spill, bitch! Uh, I think the summary of my opinions would be balance and doing both and everyone having their own parameters to what is success, slash how much money they need, et cetera. So, everyone's grind isn't going to be the same. True. Retweet, put that in a mug. But that's coming from someone that is not a very grind girly. I respect the grind, but it's not for me. But then you could argue that stems from my upbringing. She not told me her upbringing, so I need to know what the upbringing is. I can dissect it. Uh, but I agree. My grind comes from my upbringing. If my mum and dad weren't the way they were, I probably wouldn't be the way I am. So, I think a lot of it does definitely stem from that and what you have seen and what you have perceived as success will then help shape you and mould your way of getting through that. She said, but in summary, there's no right answer other than do you, boo. Agreed. Uh, she said, you've really got me thinking. I'm on a ferry just having an internal monologue with myself about it. So, I really want to hear the internal monologue, if I'm honest. Another one we've got here is, I think you have to push yourself to enjoy things properly, work hard, play hard. I would say that I resonate with that one. Um, I think like I always use the term diamonds made under pressure and I laugh about it, but sometimes I do think it's true. Um, here's another one. I feel like you can't win, so social pressures aside, just do what makes you happy. Agreed. Could not agree more. Um, ah, always stressing about the future and feel pressured to be the next Alan Sugar. Can you relate? You're fired. Um, I can definitely relate to that 100%. I mean, again, it's how you determine what you want your life to look like. There's multiple ways to skin a cat. There's multiple ways to get the same end result. It's how you go about it. You've got to find a route that suits you. I know the route I'm taking now actually suits me because I found something that I enjoy. There is no point grafting in a job you don't enjoy because you will feel like you're grafting. And don't get me wrong, some days are harder than others in my job. It's not a walk in the park and it's not something I woke up at the age of 16 and thought, oh, I want to work here. No, I wanted to be a WWE diva. We know this about me. Let's just get on with it. Um, I think it's definitely taking the time to find something that you enjoy and then you will feel less pressure. Because if you enjoy it and you can live off the money you're making, you don't have to be fucking Kim Kardashian, do you? You can literally, as long as you're living the life that suits you and you've got, you know, a warm house and some scram and a kettle and a toaster, you're probably going to be absolutely right. Do you know what I mean? You don't have to be living any type of particular life, but the pressure in social media. I sometimes think a social media break does the world of good when you're feeling under pressure. Like, you know, don't go on Instagram and TikTok or don't, like if you are going to go on it, like it's, I don't get bogged down by it, but I know a lot of people do. It happens in the past and it's so easy to compare yourself to people, but I think when you're feeling under pressure, whether that's in a work aspect, a traveling aspect, a beauty aspect and how you should look, I just think take a little bit of a break from it. Take a step back, re-evaluate, look in the goddamn mirror and have a word for yourself. But yeah, there's definitely a lot of pressure, I think, like you say, to be and do certain things, you know, you can think of the we've all got the same 24 hours in a day type of thing. But yeah, some people have more opportunity and more privilege than others, that's a fact. So you've got to kind of deal with the cards you've been dealt and if you want new opportunities, go and create them and go and put yourself in environments where you can access them a little bit more. Oh, we're on to the last stretch. I think the hustle is not worth it. You'll die before you get to spend your pennies. Oh, interesting topic. Now that has actually come from someone who's self-employed, which is really interesting to me because I perceive her as a really successful individual. How interesting. Another one, I want to feel great in my 20s, 30s and 40s. It's all about the right now. I agree. Like I said, I live payday to payday because I want to enjoy my life now while I'm young, fit and healthy. Get me on the holly bobs, get me out doing things. That's the other thing about, like, when I always talk about, like, not wanting kids yet, because I genuinely want to go out and do shit. I've got so much I want to do. I'm 25. I still feel like I'm 18, but I'm 25 and life isn't slowing down. So for me, I just want to work hard so I can play hard and do as much as I bloody want with my money, with my time, with my body. Like, you know, I don't, I want to be able to, do you know what I mean? When you look at the videos of people, like when they go to a nursing home and it's like, what advice would you give to young people? And it's like, you know, don't say no, go and live your life. It's like, that is so true. You're not going to lie there in the hospital bed one day and go, oh, I'm glad I didn't do this. It's like, thank God I did all these things. Thanks God. And even if you do something you don't like, I've got to learn that lesson. I don't want to go to the grave, fucking regretting things I didn't do, regretting places I didn't go, blah, blah, blah. I'd rather do it. And if I go and it's shit, or if I go and I don't like what I'm doing, you can change it. You can literally change something in an instant. So yeah, I'm here for making you 20s, 30s, 40s, the best of years, all my years to be good, creating facts. And that is it guys. So have we concluded which one you should be? I think we've concluded that you need to just do you. You need to do whatever suits you. I'm going to stick in my hybrid lane of some days I feel like being a hard ass motherfucking bitch. And other days I feel like rotting in my bed, getting up and doing 20 minutes of Pilates. So be it. Shoot me down. That's where I'm going to sit. Stay tuned for next week's episode. We're either going to be doing a Q&A or we're going to have a wonderful guest in Beth Mills. So stay tuned for that. I cannot bloody wait. And I will see you next week. Bye guys. Please don't forget to like, share, subscribe and comment. And please don't hesitate to follow me on Instagram. Drop me a DM with anything. It's just at naileditpodcast. Or you can send me an email with any topic you want me to cover at emilyatnailedit.co.uk.