The One Thing That Threatens All Our Relationships

Bitterness is a dangerous plague that threatens all relationships. Forgiveness is the cure for this plague, and it means giving up the right to retaliate and refraining from developing bitterness in one's heart. The Bible commands Christians to be forgiving people and to forgive as God forgives. Forgiveness is not easy, but God promises to help his children forgive others. We must seek God's forgiveness for cherishing bitterness and ask for strength to forgive those who have hurt us. Reflecting on our own sins instead of the sins of others is important. Unforgiveness is a characteristic of unbelievers, and a merciful and forgiving spirit should characterize Christians. We must humble ourselves, repent, and ask for God's grace to forgive others. Even if people do not repent, we must protect ourselves from developing bitterness and leave judgment to God. Forgiveness is done for Christ's sake and helps us move away from pain and self-destruction. The One Thing That Threatens All Our Relationships Can you guess the one thing that threatens all relationships? Bitterness. It affects marriages, churches, and pretty much everything else. Bitterness is one of the most dangerous plagues to healthy Christian living. Spreading even faster than the common cold, it eats away at the vitality of one's spiritual life. It is the cancer of the soul and claims millions of victims each year. Yet there is a cure for this plague, and this cure is found in one of the most beautiful words in the English language, the word forgive. Although forgive is a common word, the real essence of it lies in the last part, give. To forgive means to give someone a release from the wrong they have done to you. It means giving up any right to retaliate and refrain from developing bitterness in one's heart. The Bible not only expects but also commands Christians to be forgiving people. It entertains no other healthy option. Believers are called to the highest standard of practicing forgiveness. We are called to forgive as God forgives. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4 verse 32. Colossians 3 verse 13 as well. Yes, forgiveness is not an easy process. At times we may struggle with thoughts such as, it is no use, they will hurt me again, I should have never forgiven them in the first place, they will never change. We need to be watchful of such sinful thinking. God has promised to help his children to forgive others, and it is impossible for God to lie. Hebrews 6 verse 18. So we don't need to give up. We must believe that God is working in our hearts and making us strong through these trials. He wants to build us up, not break us down. However, at times breaking is necessary for building. We will have victory if we persevere by leaning on the Holy Spirit's power. We must strive to seek God's forgiveness for cherishing bitterness in our hearts. That's the first step to overcoming this sin. Then we must keep asking him for strength to forgive the ones who have hurt us. And every time the thought of bitterness comes as we are reminded of the sins of others, we must think long and hard about our own sins. Someone wrote, Those with forgiving hearts have a long memory concerning their own sin, but a short memory concerning the sins of others. The long-lasting memory of their own sin is grievous, but the remembrance produces hearts, produces joy as their hearts reflect in the newfound freedom of forgiveness in Jesus. Equal joy fills their hearts when they are able to extend that same forgiveness to others who have sinned against them. I remember reading about one wife who went to her pastor to address her husband's sin of viewing pornography. She had confronted him, and as a result, repented and sought her forgiveness. Yet she could not overlook that sin, and so went to her pastor to describe how evil he was in committing this sin and how she was thinking of leaving him. Her heart was so bitter against her husband who had repented of his act that she failed to see her ongoing sin of cherishing bitterness in her heart. That's the danger of sin. We have such a clear vision and reminder of other people's sins even after they have repented of it, yet so blind and forgetful of our sins. That's why we must consciously make it a habit to reflect on our sins instead of the sins of others. There is no other cure for a proud, self-righteous, and unforgiving heart. Indeed, it's incredible how forgiveness is a beautiful word when we need it, but such an ugly word when we have to give it. One writer put it well, how fast we forgiven prodigal sons can become self-righteous older brothers. Unforgiveness is a characteristic of unbelievers. Romans 1 verse 31. 2 Timothy 3 verse 3. Scripture repeatedly says that a merciful and forgiving spirit should characterize the Christian. 1 John 3 verse 10, verses 14 and 15. If the pattern of our lives exhibit a bitter and unforgiving nature, we need to sincerely examine our life to see if we have personally tasted God's forgiveness for sin. Thomas Watson said, We need not climb into heaven to see whether our sins are forgiven. Let us look into our hearts and see if we can forgive others. If we can, we need not doubt that God has forgiven us. As we stand on Mount Calvary, looking at Jesus hanging on the cross, bleeding, bruised, pierced for your sins, crying out, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing. Luke 23 verse 34. Or looking at Stephen, as he was being stoned to death, saying, Lord, do not hold this sin against them. Acts 7 verse 60. Can we still hold on to bitterness? Can we still say, I will not forgive that person? Are we so foolish to think we can take God's forgiveness, abuse it, and get away with it? Let us humble ourselves, truly repent, and cry out for God's grace to forgive others. If not, we can be sure of facing a severe chastising from God. You may ask, what if people don't repent of their actions? Do I still forgive them? The answer is this. If people do not repent, that is not in our hands. All we can do is protect ourselves from developing bitterness and cultivating a heart that is always willing to forgive. If people do not repent, there cannot be a healthy relationship. Even in our relationship with God, if a sinner does not repent, he or she cannot have a relationship with God. My point is simply protecting ourselves from falling victims to bitterness, even if the other person does not repent. God will deal with their sins. He is the judge. Therefore, we must not take judgment into our own hands, and at the same time, we must keep doing as much good as possible to the ones hurting us in keeping with the teachings of Romans 12, verses 17-21, and Luke 6, verses 27-28. Is there anyone in your life that you are unwilling to forgive? Perhaps it's a husband or a wife or a parent or a church member. Whoever it may be, why not sincerely ask God right now to help you forgive them? Tell God you are truly sorry for holding bitterness against them. He will help you. Remember, when you forgive that person, you are doing it for Christ's sake, for the sole purpose of pleasing Him. And forgiveness is the promise of never taking revenge and never bringing up past sins, especially the sins the offender has repented of. Forgiveness will help you to move away from the pain of internal turmoil. The alternate to forgiveness is a never-ending process of hurt, bitterness, anger, resentment, and self-destruction. Is it worth it?