being a mompreneur and the guilt that can come with it

Mom guilt and being an entrepreneur is a common struggle for many mompreneurs. Balancing business aspirations and being a present and attentive mother can lead to feeling overwhelmed and guilty. Finding a balance is challenging and can change over time. Guilt can stem from missing important moments with kids, not spending enough time with them, or neglecting the business. Taking care of oneself and asking for help are important. Having open conversations with kids about their desires and making small changes can alleviate guilt. Finding balance with a partner is also crucial. Hello, and welcome to today's episode. So today we'll be discussing a topic that can probably resonate with many mompreneurs out there, and that is mom guilt and being an entrepreneur. So with this, I really just want to explore this topic, share my own experiences and some insight to maybe help navigate this journey a little bit easier. So let's dive in. So I know for me personally, I believe that being an entrepreneur is both exhilarating and it's fulfilling, but it also comes with its fair share of hurdles. And then you add the responsibility of being a mom and it becomes a whole other ballgame. And so I feel like the struggle to balance your business and your business aspirations and your desires and to be present and attentive mother at the same time can often lead us to feeling overwhelmed and it can lead us to feeling like a little bit of guilt. And I found it really hard to find this balance. And I can't really say that there is, quote unquote, an actual balance because I feel like it can change, you know, all the time. And it's just a matter of like me just deciding that I could tweak it and change it with wherever I was at in my life and in my business and where my kids were at and ages they were at and like, you know, all the different things that are going on and the, you know, support that you have and all of those things really can change, you know, what balance looks like to you and to your family. And I know, you know, our emotions as mothers are so complex and a lot of the guilt can stem from like so many different sources. And some of them being for myself was like, you know, missing important moments with my kids or feeling like I'm not spending enough time with them or feeling like, you know, I'm not giving enough time to my actual business and, you know, the attention that my business needs and, you know, being a wife and all of those things. And then also, you know, outside family and it's just, you start to feel like you're torn, you know, and like there's not enough of you, there's not enough time and then there just becomes, you know, all this guilt is what I found personally was like just all this guilt just kind of stacking on top of each other. And I was faced with a lot of like internal, this internal battle that would just consume a lot of my thoughts, a lot of my attention, a lot of my energy. And I often felt like, you know, I was walking a tightrope between my business and, you know, my family life and, you know, really just giving it the attention that it needed in both areas. And I feel like sometimes, you know, mom guilt can make us, you know, overlook our own well-being, you know, it can make us overlook and put ourselves last a lot of times too. And so it just is a compound effect, I feel like and it's just so crucial, you know, first off is to really take care of yourself. But when we're going through it, I think a lot of times what happens is like we just forget about ourselves, you know, we're just so consumed by like how we're going to find this balance between our family and our kids and our business and all those things that we completely forget about ourselves, which then leads us to being more resentful, burnt out, you know, all of these emotions, you know. And that's how I personally felt like I felt like things just kind of kept compounding on top of each other. Plus being in the service industry, you know, owning a salon, being behind my chair, servicing my clients, it was like, I felt like I had given so much and I felt so much guilt that I didn't have anything left to give to my family or my kids, you know, when I when I actually got home. And so I think one of the things for me, you know, that was super important was being able to ask for help from family, from friends, you know, hiring support, being okay with that, you know, having the support not that not only in my business, but in my home, you know, being able to just ask for support in whatever area I could that would help take a little bit of that pressure off, that would help, you know, give me a little bit more time that I felt like I had to do other things, right. And so I think that is definitely something that's super important that we have a tendency to overlook. And I know I did personally was like, just overlooking my own self care, because I was so consumed and concerned about finding this balance for, you know, my family, my friends, my kids, especially, you know, and so I just really, you know, wanted to share my own experience of going through this feeling of just all this guilt, trying to figure out, you know, how I was going to find a balance to, you know, continuing my business to be able to serve my clients to be able to have the energy for my family and for, you know, my kids and I had a coach, you know, tell me or just, you know, recommended that I, you know, sit down with my kids, I actually talked to them and ask them, you know, what it was that they, you know, wanted or what they what what they would like, you know, to see different as far as like, my work schedule, and you know, how I was working, I was working really late, I was working weekends, you know, I was missing different sports and all of those things. And I really had to come to this place where I had to start saying yes, to myself and my family and no, to other things, you know, and sometimes that's hard, especially when you feel like you're just trying to keep your business, you know, thriving and growing and you are so passionate about your business, that, you know, you really want it to grow and you want it to succeed and you've, you know, put your heart and soul into it and, you know, handing over tasks within your businesses is challenging sometimes too, because you feel like people aren't going to take care of it, or see as much, you know, value in your business as you do, right. And I think there's a lot of work that, you know, needed to be done on my part as far as like allowing and trusting and handing over some of the responsibilities within the business as well. And so, you know, I feel like it's just guilt is just like something that almost every mother, you know, experiences and the demand of running your business while raising a family, you know, can create constant balancing act. And when we can just kind of pull back, get really clear about what it is that we want, you know, understand the guilt and the shame that we feel and understand that it's okay, you know, that, you know, I used to feel guilty that I wasn't, you know, the Pinterest mom had all the things just so for the classroom and the kids class and all those things. But in reality, it was like those types of things I didn't really care about. I didn't like that kind of stuff. That wasn't something that I even wanted to do. But I had guilt about not wanting to do that and not wanting to be that way. I was more about, you know, wanting to spend the quality time with my kids and wanting to be with them how they wanted to be with me, you know, and the classroom stuff and all of the, you know, fancy cupcakes and all those things never seemed important to my kids. Going back to, you know, one of my coaches asking me to actually sit down with my kids, ask them what it was that they wanted, you know, to actually grade me as a mom. And that was like such a powerful exercise, I feel like because I discovered that I put so much guilt and shame on myself and created these stories about how I thought I should be or what I should be doing. When in reality, it was like when I actually talked to them, when I actually asked them, it was not even what I thought, you know, and of course, you know, they created me an A. But some of the things that they said were, you know, one of my boys had mentioned that, you know, he wished that I didn't work as late in the evening, which was fine, right? Like I could change that I could, you know, make arrangements and maybe not work every single night late. And so there was some things I could change there. And one of the other ones, you know, my other son told me, you know, one of the things he wanted to do more of was, you know, have picnics in the park. And so it's like those things were so doable, right? So it wasn't necessarily that, you know, the amount of days I was working or whatever it might be, it was like, just a few little tweaks really could bring a little bit more balance when I actually just sat down and talked to them and asked them, like what they desired or, you know, what they would like to see different and that type of thing, you know, and actually hearing it from them and creating the space that they could actually say that, you know, and they were young at the time, but not too young to where we could actually ask these questions and they can give an honest answer. And so I think that was a really powerful exercise because it helped relieve a little bit of the guilt and the stories that I was creating about all of the things I thought I should be doing because of, you know, what I've seen or what I've, you know, just put the pressure on and I think society as well and all of those things, like, just added pressure on how I thought I should be. And but when it came down to it, and I actually had this conversation, it was like, it could have been a lot more simpler. And after that, you know, I was able to change some things up. I felt, you know, some ease. I felt a little bit of, you know, weight lifted off my shoulders. And I think another thing is too, is like finding that balance with like your partner and like making the time to go on dates and just setting that time aside that you can actually have uninterrupted conversations and really just kind of, you know, keep that spark there. Because I feel like sometimes when we are so in our business and so trying to juggle, you know, the kids and sports and schools and different activities and family events and all those things, a lot of things can kind of go by the wayside. And before you know it, it's like, there's a problem. Right? And so I feel like once we can kind of just look at some of these things, take a step back, kind of evaluate and do it, you know, every so often, depending on where you're at in your life and your business and your kids and their ages and their schools and, you know, whether it's summertime or school time, and all those things, I think, play a huge role in like finding that balance, you know, and being flexible to kind of tweak things as you need to, you know, for what is the best fit for you and your family. And that really helped me when I just let down the pressure and the guard of like having to, you know, have this facade of looking a certain way and allowing myself to tweak and change things as they needed to change, you know, to find that balance at the time. And not be so rigid that like, this is how it had to be. And like, this is how it's going to be forever. And then, you know, that created a lot of pressure. And so I think it's just, you know, navigating these times and learning along the way and just allowing yourself to be a little bit more flexible, allowing yourself to communicate, allowing yourself to ask for help. It's really going to be powerful. One of the other things is, too, is like, you know, I had to remind myself that being an entrepreneur also means, you know, I'm providing for my family, and I'm being a role model for my children. And so that was another thing that I just really wanted to just embrace and, you know, totally take on was that, like, I'm also providing, I'm also being, you know, a really strong role model, I believe, for my children. And so when I decided to embrace that vulnerability and communicate with, you know, my kids and my family, like, honestly, I really found a way to connect more deeply with, you know, my kids and my family, honestly. And so I think that's a really powerful thing to remember, is that, you know, you're providing for your family, and you're also being an amazing, you know, role model for for them, too. So that was one thing that I kind of overlooked and took for granted, I guess, a little bit or just didn't really acknowledge. And so I think it's hard, you know, for me, it was like, you know, fearing, like, the judgment from others, and feeling like, you know, it was like questioning my ability to manage, you know, both my business and my family, like, effectively. And I think sometimes, you know, for me, it was like, I just created all these stories that like, I was being judged. And, you know, what if things didn't work out? Or like, what if my business did fail? Or what if I wasn't showing up, you know, the best that I could, you know, where people are going to judge me, or what were people thinking? And if I didn't make it to one of my kids events, and all of these things, and I, a lot of times, I feel like, it's like, we put our, the pressure on ourselves, and we create these stories, ourselves, that aren't necessarily always true. Right? But I feel like it's just part of, it's just part of it, it's part of the process. And I think it's just, you know, to recognize that your business, your family, you know, who you're surrounded with, and the support that you have is super important. And it's important to be around, you know, other like-minded individuals who understand and appreciate your journey. I think that's really helpful. And to remember that, you know, being an entrepreneur and a mom is, is an incredible, you know, feat. And it, and you're just, you know, you're breaking barriers, too. And just really, you know, being able to focus on your accomplishments, and letting go of the judgments of other people, and what other people are thinking, or whatever it might be, you know. And so I think, you know, that was just really powerful for me to be able to kind of come back to, and just recognize and understand that this was part of the process. A lot of times, I was creating my own stories. I had to really just surround myself with more supportive people, more like-minded people that understood what I was doing, understood, you know, the balancing act that we're trying to figure out, wanted to step in and support you, because they, they just supported you all the way around. They supported what you were doing. They supported your business. They supported your family, you know, all of those things. And I think a lot of times, being a mom, it's like, we're trying to like, do it all. And, you know, it's hard for us to ask for help, because it almost seems like it's a weakness, right? Like, oh, you can't run your business and do that without asking for help. But in reality, it's like, it's such a powerful move to make, is to be able to ask for help, support, and allow people to support you, allow people to help you wherever they can. And understand that it's such a gift for somebody to be able to support you and help you, because if you're surrounded by the right people, it really does fuel them to be able to support you, and vice versa, right? Like, you want to be able to support them, too. So with that, you know, I just wanted to share a little bit about the guilt that can come on, and sometimes how we can feel like we're just, we aren't giving enough to either role, and how we can feel, you know, all this pressure. And sometimes we just have to be a little gentler on ourselves. Have a little bit more compassion is what I've learned. You know, prioritize your self-care 100%. Like, if you are not, you know, if you're just serving from an empty cup, it's like that's when you become burnt out. That's when it just spirals, you know, down into this vicious pit of all different kinds of emotions, you know? And I think it's just really, really important to be able to fill your cup so that you can continue to, you know, serve from overflow, and know that it's not selfish. And that it's actually very beneficial to all areas of your life, you know? Just making it, you know, a regular habit to recharge, to be able to avoid burnout. Letting go of the perfectionism is what I had to do, too, was trying to, you know, have things look perfect, and, you know, show up to every little thing, and try to be in two places at once. And just to really accept that, like, I could not do everything perfectly, and that that was completely okay. Because nobody can. And even if they try for a little while, eventually they're going to break, right? Eventually they're going to have a meltdown, eventually they're going to be burnout. Eventually, they'll just run into all these issues. So it was being able to surrender to that a little bit sooner, I think, is better. And letting go of that is, you know, was really important, I feel like, for me. So yeah, I mean, I just, I wanted to share that because I know that there's a lot of people that really struggle with that. And just wanted to let you know, you know, that if you are struggling with that, that you're not alone, and that you can seek support, you can, you know, find this balance, that it can change whatever you need, you know, you need it to. And yeah, so just want to share that with you, let you know you're not alone. And to embrace this process, to embrace this journey, to really, you know, acknowledge what it is that you're doing. And yeah, it's not for everybody, but it's definitely possible. And I think you just have to, you know, I just had to come back to remembering that I had support, I could ask for support, that I didn't have to have things perfectly, that I didn't have to do things on my own. And yeah, and to be able to surround myself with like-minded individuals. So with that, that is it for today. I hope you enjoyed this. And thank you so much for joining me today. And I just want to remind you that you are not alone. And you are incredible for juggling these two roles with such grace and determination and passion and love, all of those things. So if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, share it with anybody that you think could benefit from it. And stay tuned for more conversations. And yeah, I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. And goodbye for now.