AITA.....

The podcast episode features several "Am I the Arsehole" stories. The first story is about a person who wants to sell their inherited family home to pay for their sister's education, but their step-cousin wants to use the house for her engagement. The host doesn't think they're the arsehole. The second story is about someone who helped their cousin's husband get a job but later got him sacked for his bad work habits. The host doesn't think they're the arsehole. The third story is about someone who helped a stray cat but was pressured by a volunteer to donate money and supplies for the cat's care. The host doesn't think they're the arsehole. The fourth story is about someone who covered their ears while their mother-in-law was screaming at them during an argument. The host doesn't think they're the arsehole. Hi, I'm Tiana and you're listening to my podcast, I Told No One About This, by me. So today's episode is going to be an Am I the Arsehole episode, where we will be discussing different stories that people have sent in and that have been on Reddit to discuss whether they are actually an a-hole or someone else has got the wrong idea. So the first story is, am I the arsehole for not letting my cousin use my house for her engagement? So, firstly, I don't think you are, because it's your house, it's your rules, do what you like with your house, you don't have to do anything for your cousin. Okay, so now I'm going to read the story to see if my mind changes. My 22 female parents passed away recently and have left everything to me and my sister, 11 female. My parents were well free and set up a trust for my sister and me. I can get access to her now, but my sister has to wait until she's 21. My sister is going to a boarding school abroad and I am working abroad. We are initially from a southern Asian country. Our family home is extremely huge and unoccupied as my parents have passed away. After discussing it with my sister, I decided I wanted to sell the house to help her pay for education. I don't want her to use her trust money because I believe it will set aside for her future and her studies like my parents did for me. My parents paid for my education, so I would like them to pay for her education as they would have done with the house. My cousin, however, does not like this, despite not being blood-related as it is a step-cousin. Does she have a say in this? Because she has an engagement coming up and she would like to use it to propose to her girlfriend in her house, which means a lot to her. Am I the arsehole for selling the house before this can happen? So that's a bit of a tricky one. You said it's a step-cousin, so how long have they been in your life? Yeah, she's not your parents' child, so I don't really think she should get a say in it, to be honest. I think it would be down to the next of kin, which would be the children. So no, I don't think you are an arsehole. Okay, so we're going to move on to the next one now. So, am I the arsehole for getting my cousin's husband sacked? Firstly, it depends on the situation. I feel like that is probably a bit of an arsehole move to do because your cousin is your family, so it's a bit of a sticky one and puts you a bit awkward at family parties. So I'm going to read the story now. About six months ago, my dear cousin asked me if there were any vacancies at my workplace and said her husband needed a job. For the sake of privacy, let's call him John. I had actually met John several times before and he seemed like a chill person. He told me he had left his last job because of the unfair treatment he received from his manager and how his co-workers were genuinely toxic. Anyway, I introduced him to my manager, who seemed happy to take on John. When John first joined, everyone was cool with him and he got along well with them. However, later on, John's bad habits were starting to unravel. He came to work consistently late for almost every shift. On top of this, he was taken from liberty, which enrolled him watching sports on his phone, stepping out to play Spets, among other things. Suffice it to say it. This has frustrated my colleagues and my manager became aware of this issue, who wanted me to speak to John regarding this. So I spoke to John and he reacted pretty defensively, saying something along the lines of I'm a married man with a wife and two kids to look after. I don't live an easy life, unlike some singles out there who live with their parents. No doubt referring to the colleagues who were moaning about him. I told him that his personal problems should be left at home when he comes to work and when he comes to work, he should work. So this went on for a while and he had no change in his habits, so he was sacked. Um, so, I don't think you're the arsehole. He goes to work to work, so why isn't he working? He doesn't need to play Spets on his shift, he's not getting paid to do that, he's not getting paid to watch sports, he's getting paid to work. Why isn't he working? No, definitely not the arsehole there. Okay, so the next one is, am I the arsehole for telling a volunteer I don't know anything after he helped me? Um, no. A volunteer doesn't need to be owed anything. But then again, I think it might depend on the service and what they were doing. But you don't owe them anything if they're a volunteer. No. Okay, so I'm going to read it now. I won't say that I am a big animal lover, but I do own two cats and I'm generally more aware of stray cats and would like to bring around some cat food and feed them when I come across. I have been feeding a tabby cat near my workplace for a while when he came to me one day with a large injury on his side. The injury looked really bad and I felt that he would not make it, if less were that helped. However, as mentioned above, I own two cats and I'm responsible for them and thus I cannot spare extra money to save this cat. So I contacted some animal rescue volunteer groups to see if they were willing to help this stray cat. Tony took up this cat and brought the injured cat back with him. The cat was treated and released back after a few weeks and it was well enough. Tony had been urging me for the past few months to help him find a donation for the cat's medical fees as he claims it broke him. I did share around my friends and family through a donation, but he barely got anything back. He became more and more aggressive, pressuring me to help him look for other sorts of donations, such as cat food and supplies. When I finally had enough and told Tony he was harassing me and he called me ungrateful, saying that people like me is the reason that he has so many debts helping animals and he can barely make ends meet. He said that after helping my cat, not my cat, the least I could do was help him find more people who would be willing to donate. I told him I don't owe him anything, that injured cat is not mine and he could only blame himself if he is struggling. I blocked him shortly. Now I feel bad for him, even though my cat is not mine. Am I the arsehole? No, you're not. You were being a good person, helping out a stray cat, which is what any decent human would do. He shouldn't expect you to pay for a cat that isn't yours. He shouldn't have taken on the cat if he thought it was going to break him and make him poor, because why would you pay for someone else's cat when it's not yours? And he shouldn't have taken it on if he didn't have the finances to do it. So no, you're definitely not the arsehole. That was not your fault at all. You were just trying to be a good person and help a cat. Okay, so this is the last one I'm going to be doing. I'm hoping you're enjoying this. So the last one is, am I the arsehole for covering my ears while my mother-in-law was screaming at me? Okay, so first impressions, that is a bit disrespectful, I think. But also your mother-in-law shouldn't be screaming at you. But it is disrespectful because I don't know what you've done to deserve this. But then again, you might be doing it for good reason. I don't know what your mother-in-law is like. Okay, so I'm going to read it now. I, female, 37, have been married to my husband, male, 39, for 10 years. I am diagnosed with AOTD with a buttload of sensory issues. One thing that sends me into a meltdown quickly is constant loud noises. My husband and his mother fight a lot. They call it spirited debate. It's loud. Everything blew up a few weeks ago, and we're still grinding on it. My husband and I own a business together. We had an awful super incident with an employee quitting, and it left us in a tight spot. He asked his mother to come in and help. She held a few days, all is well. But then a busy Friday rolls around, and there's some tables to do. Got to find her a workspace. Okay, this story doesn't really make sense at the minute because the grammar's really bad, but I'm going to try my best. I leave it up to my husband because I'm busy doing my own job as well as covering for the two employees we just lost not even a week ago. He becomes exasperated with her and asks me to help as I'm the operations manager and he is the CEO. As my husband and I are trying to talk, she is trying to talk over us. I'm trying to think, and she just keeps talking. I say multiple times, please stop. It's okay. I've got it. I basically start saying this on repeat, but she doesn't stop talking and she's getting louder. Talking about the situation wouldn't happen if she was running things. You should buy more tables on Amazon. You should, you should, you should. I walk away from her because I'm going to fix the problem and I need to get away from her. But she follows me, still yammering on. I keep repeating myself and my husband can tell I'm close to a meltdown because of my repetition. So he starts following her, yelling at her to stop and leave me alone. She goes louder and louder. To be heard over his yelling, I can feel the tears welling up and I can't hear myself think. So I do what is the, am I the arsehole moving question. I cover my ears. I'm trying to protect myself and not meltdown or cry. We're so busy at work, we ain't got time for me to fall apart and put myself back together. Okay. Definitely not the arsehole. That's... Yeah, I don't really know what to say to that, but you're definitely not the arsehole. You were just trying to protect yourself and she clearly didn't get the hint. I mean, she knows about the sensory issues, but she didn't care. She was probably trying to get a reaction. I don't think she likes it very much, if I'm being honest. But yeah, you're not the arsehole, so you go, girl. Okay, so that is the end of the am I the arsehole confession stories and I really hope you've enjoyed this episode and I hope you can watch any other episodes that are posted and I'm Tiana and you've been listening to I Told No One About This, my podcast. Bye.