Q4-19830724-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-awakening_intelligence-1556 Q4

Talk: 19830724-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-awakening_intelligence-1556 Leandra Tejedor Start_time: 00:44:56 Display_question: What do I do when I discover I am afraid of being wrong, or not having it together? Keyword_search: learning, discovery, rehearse, fights, conversations, fear, mind, challenge, live understanding, hesitation, postponement, action, meditator’s dilemma, illusion, sitting, awareness, inquiry, attention Question_content: Questioner: The kind of learning that I've experienced has to do with sitting up straight, and that is, walking straight, and discovering that I'm afraid, that if I walk straight, people are going to perceive me as cocky, or having it together, and then they may challenge me, and discover that I don't have it together, which frightens me. So I slouch. So as not to be challenged. And that was a big discovery for me. And it tied in also with the…I realized I don't rehearse conversations, I rehearse fights with people. Break_line: I know. And I brought this up earlier, before, and I discovered, now it has to do with standing up straight as well, that fear of...if I can't win, and if I can't be a good fighter, then I don't have it together, then I'm not a good person. So, it all kind of is coming together in discovery that I'm afraid of being wrong, or not having it together, so to speak. And so, the fights and sitting up… Larry: Okay, so your mind has come to use it that way, but in and of itself, there's nothing wrong about standing straight. Questioner: No. Larry: Right? Yeah. Questioner: No I’ve stood straight for about a week and a half, and no one has challenged me. Larry: Okay, okay, okay, that's it. That's it. See, it's one thing to learn it, and then the next thing is to live our understanding. See, now, in my…the way I hear what you said, you're living your understanding now. Because many people come to understanding, and then hesitation, postponement, well, maybe some other time, in the future, what if, and all the rest. And they never quite make that step into action. And it can be a meditator's dilemma, where you literally have the illusion that you'll just be able to sit all your problems away. If you can only sit on the cushion long enough, it'll all go away. Break_line: But at some point, I don't know, unless you're going to spend your whole life on the cushion, which is rather doubtful, there has to be a connection, with people, with situations, with nature. Now, if a person cannot live their understanding; let’s say you come to an understanding, and then you find you're hesitating, postponing a lot, then that's where we enter with inquiry. Then we bring awareness to that. Hmmm…here it is I find out. I know exactly what to do, but I can't do it. Why? And so, we bring this fresh, simple attention to that, and then perhaps out of that can come…the action that you were able to do in a very simple way. End_time: 0:47:50