Q2-20150304-Larry_Rosenberg-CIMC-no_title-26565

Talk: 2015-03 04 No Title.json Start_time: 01:05:08 Display_question: How do I balance between being engaged and taking care of myself? Keyword_search: Breath by Breath, suffering, sustainability, self-love, emptiness, Buddhist, wisdom, Metta, lovingkindness, silent, balance/imbalance, Indian philosopher Nagarjuna, Buddha, negation, self-discovery Question_content: Questioner: I'm reading your book right now, Breath by Breath and it’s… Larry: Which one? Questioner: Breathe by Breath. Larry: Oh, sure. Questioner: It's been highly recommended. It's been really powerful, for me. It seems like a lot of the suffering in the world right now is, sort of a projection of personal suffering. And that's some of the conclusion that I've come to in my work, dealing with sustainability, and kind of building capacity for sustainability, on campuses, in particular. But in that process, and kind of trying to restore natural systems, I've kind of depleted myself. So a new kind of realization that I've come to is, that self-love is where I need to put a lot of my energy, and that I will be so much more impactful if I have natural, healthy natural systems, myself. So I guess my question is, or challenge, and kind of relate to this fellow, but kind of that balance of… I struggle with it. Like the self-assurance versus the self-emptiness. Larry: Yeah. And you don't mean emptiness good. Do you mean emptiness depleted? Questioner: Yeah. Well, a lot of the Buddhist readings that I'm working through, it's this dissolving of the self. Larry: Yes. Questioner: So, I struggle with that, in a world where I want to be confident, and make the greatest impact I can, and be sure of myself. Larry: Yes. Questioner: So maybe you could speak to that a little bit. Larry: Possibly, and see if I'm meeting you where you, and if not correct me. I do my best to listen, but I'm not always right. It sounds like what you're doing is cultivating a good quality of being more loving to yourself, caring about yourself, and sure, but the awareness approach, the wisdom approach, what got you burnt out in the first place. See, in other words, get to the root of why you're exhausted, in the first place. And it's not either or. Break_line: For example, take metta. Metta means lovingkindness, or most of you've heard it, but new people may not have. And that's a quality you can cultivate, meaning practice it again, and again. It gets stronger. But the real Metta is, innate. Now, until you see this, it's in the silence, until you see it for yourself, when the mind gets really silent, you find that you are more loving, and that you are kinder to other people. And to me, it's not like not that you're trying to be. It just comes with it. It's part of it. So that yes, it's good that you recognized you're doing good work, in an area that needs work. And that's what I was getting at. Everyone has different ways of… you found your way, but if you don't take care of yourself, then you won't be able to take care of what you're there for. Questioner: Right. Larry: So, it is a balance. And how do you come to balance? Through noticing imbalance. Do you see what…this approach is... a great Indian philosopher named Nagarjuna, and most of the Buddha’s teaching, is a way of negation. In other words, you come to balance, by seeing imbalance, and letting go of imbalance. So, you can feel it. If you start paying attention, you'll see where there's something extra that you're doing, and then you find out, why am I doing that? Well, I want people to love me, at work, but you're exhausted, and you're not really helping. Shouldn't you have gone home about a half an hour ago? Maybe I'm talking to myself right now. Do you love me? But do you see what I mean? In other words, that's what self-discovery is. Questioner: Right. Larry: Self-discovery is you start to see what you're doing, and why you're doing it. And so, as you unlearn, that the energy, because so much energy is squandered, that that energy is now available to you, and having a goal of being more balanced, that's okay too. But if it's just trying to do that without dealing with the cause, then it's probably going to run up against it again, and again. Do you see what I'm getting at? Questioner: Yeah, definitely. Thank you. End_time: 01:09:47