Uncle Rons Ass

The speaker's uncle, Ron, had a saying that he was born naked and would die the same way. He would often tell stories about being naked, like jogging or visiting Tallahassee. The most memorable story was about how he claimed to have been a stunt double for Jeff Goldblum in the movie "The Fly." He said the director saw his naked bottom in a strip mall and decided to use it in a scene where Goldblum's character teleports naked. The speaker's uncle always insisted that it was his bottom in the movie. Even though the speaker and their dad didn't care, the uncle would show them his bottom whenever they watched the movie. Now the speaker can't watch "The Fly" without thinking of their uncle's bare bottom. So my uncle Ron used to always have this quote that he'd say, it was always, I was born naked and I'm damn sure gonna die that way. And every time he'd tell a story, he'd always tell stories about how he was like jogging naked or he'd go spend time in Tallahassee, Florida naked. But the story that stood out the most to me was always like the story about the fly. So my dad, my uncle said that he had been a stunt double for Jeff Goldblum in the movie and that he got found and discovered for the role because he was in some strip mall outside of Boulder, Colorado and David Cronenberg, the director of The Fly, had seen his majestic ass out in the air and thought that it would be useful in his movie because in one of the scenes, Jeff Goldblum, who's in some teleportation device, teleports from one side to the other but he has to be completely naked and he does so. And so there's a scene where the teleportation door opens and smoke comes out and fills the room and then there's this naked Jeff Goldblum there. You can see his naked form. But my uncle always insisted that that was his ass that was used in the scene. So when we watched the movie, every time we'd get to that part, he'd be like, See, I told you that's my ass. And then he'd show us his ass. Of course, my dad and I would be like, hey man, we don't really care about any of that. Can you just get out from in front of the TV? But yeah, man, to this day, I can't watch The Fly without seeing my uncle's bare ass. It's so unfortunate.