Amz and Jess testin mic

Are we ready to rumble? Fuck's sake, you are the first person who's actually interrupted me before I fucking started. And why am I not even surprised that it's obviously my own flesh and blood. Fuck you. So, this podcast is going to be fucking wild. So we've got lots of ADHD and autism on the show today. Look at that bar though Amy, like should I be concerned? Do you reckon it's working appropriately? Should I awkwardly pause it and then start again? I think it'll be fine. Are you sure? Perfectly fine. Look at how tiny your little shitty bar is on the screen. Should we just check? Yeah. Fuck's sake. Right, we're pausing it but we're going to come straight back and it's going to be a really weird podcast. No fucks given. Right, so before you interrupt me, you little whore, right. So I just wanted to check because we've had a lot of issues. This podcast is technically a tester because everyone we've had on so far has not got experience in podcasting apart from one person. And everyone has kind of been talking and then walking away from the mic like this and then you can hear them so quietly. So me and Amy are going to try and actually have the first successful podcast with somebody's voice loud. I don't know why I've got the headphones on either, I can't hear fuck all. So Amy, do you want to like tell everyone what we're going to talk about today or do you want to just make weird noises for the full show? What's your vibe today? My name's AMZ. Oh god. Stop. You've just hurt the gland in my throat. From what? From what? Why? It's the voice, it's the voice that's giving me the ick. I'm AMZ. I'm AMZ, me kid, I'm from fat. I've got 20p for the voice, kid. I don't know why I expected anything less from our type of podcast. And I know this is, the thing is we're probably going to air this because we're dickheads and you just, you know, yeah. So basically, we're going to be talking about, we're going to do like a 20 minute podcast talking a little bit about, right Amy, pick a category. We've got, I was going to say Spotify. Spirituality. Add my Spotify. Get me back in there. So, you've got the choice today of, well, to start off with spirituality, conspiracies or depression. I'd like to start with depression. Oh for fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. Gosh, you would, gosh, you would. So we all love those dark days where we feel hollow and dead inside. And that's why my song is AMZ. This is going to take you like four minutes to calm down and be normal, isn't it? Yeah, about five minutes I should be fine. Is this your first podcast, Amy? No, actually. Oh, okay, tell me more, I'm pissed off at that. Go on, tell me. My first podcast was with, I can't remember the name. Must have been a fucking good podcast. It was on YouTube. They were reviewing my song and I did a podcast with them and it was pretty cool. I feel like I remember this. It never got uploaded. It was great. I need to remember to laugh away from the mic, but it's so hard. Oh, I never knew that about you, my own. It took about an hour and all. We were recording for an hour. It didn't get used. That's sad. So how did you feel when you were doing that podcast? R.I.P. How did you feel when you were doing it? I felt great. I felt like a true musician. Why are you talking like that? This is the weirdest stage voice I've come across yet, but it actually reminds me of everyone's inner icky phone voice. That's the vibe. I can feel your nerves. I never see you nervous, so this is weird. I'm shivering in my boots. The thing is, I feel like you've been the most chill out of everyone so far. But your voice is different to everyone's so far. I'm trying to think of something that it relates to when you do use a voice like that, where you're just like, I don't know. Is it different from being a singer to doing a podcast? Yeah. Is this a lot more nerve wracking? This is more just like word vomits, so anything I say, I didn't think about it. Yeah, you're just like, meow. So back to the depression. When did it all start? My depression started. You're doing the voice again. It started when I was born into this society. I came out of the womb, and a month later 9-11 happened. And that was when I knew life wasn't going to be bliss. No, it really wasn't. So, should we... I'm not even fucking high. This is my second sober podcast. All the fears that I have in my head about a podcast are happening right now. Like the fear of talking shit, and the fact that we're so consciously aware of the fact that we're talking about it while we're on the podcast. That's kind of what I want the podcast to be about, though. I want it to be like a Rick and Morty vibe, where it's like, the people that are doing the podcast are talking about being in a podcast inside the podcast. Inside a giant podcast. Like you're talking about the podcast while you're recording the podcast, when you're meant to be talking about something specific, but instead we're talking about the fear of the podcast. I'm really... It's very uncomfortable right now, I'm not going to lie. But it's a nice... I feel like this is the rawest podcast I've ever done in my life. It's real. Yeah, this is what happens when two people try and sit and do a podcast with absolutely no preparation, and they sit and get stressed for three hours beforehand. And then they actually... They stress so much about the pre-editing and the pre-making sure the podcast goes well that they didn't actually discuss what they were going to talk about. And now we're sat here and we've been rambling for six minutes, eight seconds. Six minutes? Yeah. We've actually chatted shit about nothing. We haven't even talked about anything. I mean, it's only meant to be about 20 minutes, and technically this podcast isn't for you fuckers, it's technically for us to check that we can be heard. Yeah, we're checking. But at the same time, it will be quite funny to upload, just because I just... I want my friends and family to watch this and then afterwards be like, as if I've just wasted 20 minutes of my life on you little bitches. And if they don't, then they're not supportive and they're let down, so I expect everyone to be like... How dare you not support us? What do we name this podcast? The Wizards of Wiz. Can we talk about what's led us to this podcast, considering you've been a piece of shit and technically you were meant to actually start the podcast with me six months ago? Should we talk about that? And how it's took us actually nearly seven... No, actually, nine months I've had my podcast on. It's took us to get Amy on the show. One year ago, I was gonna be on this show. And then I died. And then she just... I don't even... I just took the leap, because you just love taking the piss with your ADHD, which is your favourite part. So then I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna start the podcast. And then I've just been like, Amy, you wanna come on the podcast? And you're like, yeah, totally, dude. Totally, dude. In about ten minutes. And then nine months fast forwarded, we've actually got to the point where we need to do it. And me and Amy have dreamed about doing this, actually. If we think about this, Amy, we've been dreaming about doing this podcast for a good three or four years. And now it's come... I have absolutely fucking no idea what we even wanted to tell the people. What did we used to want to tell the people? We wanted to help them with mental health. We want to motivate. Motivate. Motivate. Power. We want to help people with mental health. We wanted to spread the conspiracies. And we also like spreading spiritual awareness. So in the space of the next 10 to 15 minutes, what can we talk about in a serious sense, which is to do with either of these things that matter to us? If it was us a year ago and we were so pumped to do this podcast, what did us... Fuck off! You are never having a sound effect machine when we do this. I would love a sound effect machine! That's exactly what Gabriel's just been talking about. I would be pressing that... Every minute. You'll be banned from the show. Oh, please. I don't know why I even mentioned sound effects to you, because it's just made you hyper again. So, back to the important points of what we were speaking about. What, a year ago, made us want to do a podcast? What, you know... Well, we were doing some Instagram Live... You're still talking with a... talk in your normal fucking voice! Stop making me shut down, mate. Look at that bar. Look at that fucking bar. What is my normal voice? Can we talk about Amy's voice? Yeah, like... I can't stop. You're just like, I can't help it. It reminds me of Ross on Friends when he talks British at the... When he goes to the seminars and he's teaching... Good evening, mate! Yeah, like... I can't even... No, I'm not even going to try and do that impression, because I feel like it won't come out cute. So, we're moving past Amy's voice again. I'm going to try and get past it for the third time of asking her stuff. Because it's upsetting me. But right, why did we... What did we want to talk about on the shows? Because if this is our first go, I'm fucking concerned. Like, what the fuck is this? Like, I'm actually going to contemplate deleting this one when I'm done. Come on, give me some juice. Give me some... Some squeezy lemons. So that we can... So, give me something that makes me be like, do you know what? I'm going to post that, because that's important. Right. Well, so, back in the day... Oh, I'm... Back in the day, well... No, back in the day, we used to do some Instagram lives. And they were pretty cool. I can hear you trying not to do it. I'm trying not to do that. I'm sorry. I can't. I'm trying so hard. Oh, God, Mike, come on. It feels like... This is anxiety when it comes out. I can't. I feel like this is a Rick and Morty episode where they won't get to the point on purpose. You know, where they keep trying to get to the point, and then they're like... So, it's the weather today. And there's phalanges falling out the sky. So, again, we're going to stop talking about Amy's voice. Like this one I've constructed. Amy, do you want to try for the fifth time for me to take you seriously? Why did we think we were going to have a successful podcast together? What the fuck? Our ADHD is just like... We need something that we're... What are we actually talking about? Do you reckon we should have had a structure in a piece of paper that was like a start and... Start, beginning, and end. I don't give me any structure. I've no ADHD. I will just say what is on my mind. What do I do? Because this just feels like... You know those episodes of Rick and Morty where they do... You need a topic. You know the Rick and Morty... I've gave you three topics five times. And you've got... Rambling about depression. No, because you started right there. You actually started to get a bit serious. But then I couldn't take your voice challenging you back and going back to that. I couldn't. I can't. I'm trying to be a good interviewer, but you're fucking killing me. Like... If anyone else has a podcast and understands this, then that's great. But right. Right, let's... Let's try this again. I think we might change the world to our podcast actually. I think so. I think we're going to make a movement. It's going to be powerful. Let's do it. Do it. I feel like you're still trying to talk seriously, but now you're talking too seriously and too crisp. Let's go with it. Let's do it. I can't do it. A podcast about Jessica Pinkney ripping into her cousin, Amy Smith, because she can't talk properly. Nothing is good enough. I got it. Nothing's good enough for me. I actually do have a bit of a lisp, I'm not going to lie. I've got an ulcer on my forehead. Did you get it off your ex, Luke Martin? It hurts. It's contagious. Shout out to Luke. Oh, God. So we're both spinning in the synchrony of each other. We are. So, now what? Right, let's actually talk about conspiracy theories. Don't. Right, you want me to actually go on one about conspiracies? Have you seen all them Maui fires? The fires that are going on all over the world. All the fucking laser beams. The laser beam with the blue. And the blue mansions that are being painted and aren't being affected. Yeah, but also the blue, there was also t-shirts in a shop. And I don't understand, it doesn't make sense, but there was a shop that was burnt to the ground, but all the blue t-shirts in the shop were just laid on the floor. Because the colour blue, it's like a royal blue, it doesn't get affected by the laser beams. It's the only colour that doesn't react to it. So even if they set a full thing on fire, with that blue thing inside, because the fire's not meant to be on the blue stuff, what, it just won't burn it? It won't burn, no. That's fucking what? It doesn't make any fucking sense, but... See, I try and talk to people about this, and they just, they fucking look at me like... I was trying to tell our other cousin today, actually, Tanya, I was like... I know, I was just like... Tanya, what's happening? The world's on fire! Yeah, I tried talking about it, and she just looked at me, and I was like... I get that look all the time. Yeah, but the Maui fires have kind of like... It's anything to do with the children. You know, like when I went down that terrible conspiracy hole a few years ago about Adrenochrome and everything, and I was like, We must fight back, the elite! It's creeping again, because I was looking at the Maui fires, and I was looking at all the stuff, and then they were like, 2,000 children had gone missing in the fires, but weren't accounted for, and it was like... Yeah, more child trafficking probably, and like, they take these kids from the estates like this. Did you hear about this, like, under the earth, there's actual, like, civilizations underneath the earth? I was looking at this. That's how they're getting the kids, like, through, through tunnels, secret tunnels. Yeah, there's apparently tunnels all through the... Yeah, there's apparently tunnels, like, all under Washington and stuff, like, where it's all based, and it's... It just... It farts my fucking head. Like, I was looking at, um... I love how serious we've gotten now. It makes sense now. So, I was looking at the Maui thing, and what stressed me out... Did you see the stuff about Maui where they were going on about the fact that the... All of the sirens and alerts were cut six hours before the fires happened. Bearing in mind, Maui has the best alarm system in the entire world because of the weather conditions that they have. They have the most alarms in a state or country or whatever the fuck they are. I don't know where Maui is. But, um, basically, it was just all the things, like... So, they were told that there was going to be an earthquake six hours before these fires started. They were told there was an earthquake, so they were told to fill their cars with gas. So, they all went and did that to leave. And then, two hours later, when everyone was starting to leave, there was an announcement that the petrol and gas and all that had been tampered with. And that diesel had been put in it. But, obviously, if you put diesel in a petrol car or petrol in a diesel... It sets on fire. It just stops working. So, it won't necessarily set on fire, but it won't run. Like, your car just conks out. So, magically, all these people in the Maui area had gone and put this petrol into their cars. Not all of them, but a lot of them had been tampered with. So, the cars all stopped working. And people literally just set on fire in the cars. Like, there was full families found burned alive. Mum, Dad, kids all in the back just all on fire. Like, just charcoaled. But, it's like, how is a society where you're not questioning this shit when it's like... The alarm systems were all turned off. The fire department of the state, like, they were all on camera getting recorded and things and questioned. And they were asked, like, the head of the department of the fire thing. And they were like, do you regret that sound of the alarms? And the man was like, no. And that's all he read. And it's like, eh? Like, the best place in the world for alarms. And they haven't been set off and it's killed all these people. But, did you see, like, how certain houses weren't affected? Like, you said, probably ones that were painted blue and things. Like, there was massive mansions that were just fine. And it's like, well, how is the fire picked and chose where it's gone? Like, we've seen this before, though. We've seen conspiracies of wildfires before where certain trees will be completely fine in the midst of charcoal. That's why people think, though, that it might be lasers. Like, from satellites or, you know, coming from a boat that's directed. This is what, like, I saw a conspiracy video yesterday or the day before. There was this man and he was like, I've had this download, you all need to listen. And he was basically saying that he thinks the elite are all planning on moving to Maui. Basically, all of the elitism from, like, America or wherever the fuck they are, the Fountain Fathers. They're all going to bail America, move to Maui. Basically, instead of people wanting to fight the government, this man was saying that the government's going to abandon everyone. Like, we're not going to have to fight them because they're going to bail. And they're going to have these fucking laser beam technologies that they're going about. Basically, if anybody from America tries to leave, they'll die. And they're basically going to have, like, a wall around of lasers. And that's what all of this has happened to wipe out the area. Because there was, weirdly enough, in Maui, a few weeks before it happened, they had on the news that there was a housing crash. And all of a sudden, there was going to be a need in emergency housing and all of this. And, basically, I think it said that, basically, these investors in Maui were wanting to buy the land, but obviously knew that the people wouldn't want to leave because it's their homes where they've built their lives. So they're basically just fucking lasering it all off. Now they can buy the land off people because everyone's got nothing. They're like, we'll give you thousands, we'll give you millions, you all have a happy life. And then rebuild a new, like, construct on the top of this island, basically, for the elite to live in. And there was just a video that I was watching, but it just scares the shit out of me. Because I just think, like, people don't realise, like, it might be happening in a different country, just like when the fucking Jews and all that shit happened. It might be in a different country, like, these people have literally burned to death in their cars in Maui. And we're like, oh, well, you know, we're not going to get laser-beamed to death because we're in the UK or this or that. But it's like, real human beings have been set on fire in that country. And I think sometimes we think that it doesn't affect us because it's a different country, but those people are human beings just like us. We're just as likely to be able to just wake up and be, like, laser-beamed, bombed, all this fucking shit. I don't know. I do definitely find it very fucking difficult to live in this world. Yeah, that was a bit of a conspiracy that we've definitely been thinking into. I hope this test's gone alright, or I'm going to fucking cry. But then at the same time, if I find out that it's just that everyone hasn't been shouting the mics enough, then everyone needs to get a grip. Everyone needs to talk like this, so it picks up on the microphone. Do you reckon we should post this really weird podcast or not? I think everyone would love to hear at least chat shit for 20 minutes. I've got a final thing to make you go serious. Well, it probably won't make you, you'll probably be fucking savage. But, right, I've got one. So imagine this is the last podcast that can ever go out into the world. This is the last way that you can communicate with anyone who can hear it. And there's somebody out there that is in a really dark place right now. There's somebody sat there and they're wanting to give up. You have this microphone, you have this voice, you have this place to try and reach somebody out there and stop them from doing something bad, as we both suffer with mental health. What would you do? Don't do it! Don't! Don't do it! Believe in yourself! Make your dreams come true! If you want to die, so do I! Let's go! Wow! I don't know why, I mean, I went for the second option of you being silly and I should have just knew along that that was, you know. No, no, I've got a serious note. You're like, I feel guilty now. On a serious note guys, if you need help, phone Crisis Team. No, don't. Let's just start this again. They want to help you. Yeah, they won't help you. If anything, they'll put you on medication that will then make you want to do it. Oh yeah, true, true, true. If you are struggling mentally with anything, obviously speak with your GP. Tell them, I'm struggling man. Then get some therapy, because therapy helps us all. You've still got the wrong end of what I'm trying to put across here, right? That was nice, that was much better. You actually spoke in a genuine voice, I'll allow it. Definitely go to the doctors, get checked, blah, blah, blah. But what bit of personal advice, like what is, have you got something that you live by? Like for me, I feel like mine often goes to do with fears. So if anyone was listening right now and they felt like they were struggling in life or this or that, maybe for me it would be, things that make you uncomfortable are big indicators to me. Some things that make you uncomfortable are big indicators to me that you need to go at them. When something makes you uncomfortable, that means you've grown. When you get put in an uncomfortable situation, whether that's family, work, education, your free time, how you socialise, I think it matters when we get these uncomfortable situations come up where we have to go and have a meeting or we have to go for an interview or we have to go and meet somebody new or we have to go to the doctors for something or we have to go to a family event we're not comfortable with. I think a lot of these things that we have to go through as human beings and being uncomfortable is, it's an indicator that you're doing the right thing if you're going after those uncomforts and trying to throw yourself at them. You've got to dip your toe in. You do. You could be anxious about something and think, oh, but what if this happens, what if this happens? Then you could go and it could be the best night of your life. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Also, always listen to your gut, though. If you ever feel like, oh, this doesn't feel quite right, this feels like something could go wrong here, then probably just don't go. Don't do it. It's not worth it. I've put myself in way too many situations where I shouldn't have went and I wish I didn't, but we move. See, that's what I wanted from you. It was something that is personal to you that has, you know, for you, you've just reached out there about gut feelings and instincts and that's a personal perspective that you've kind of gained and learned from. That's what we actually want this show to eventually be about. We want to kind of give different perspectives to people and the right people might be listening that need to hear things or the right people might be speaking, you know what I mean? Like I've just said there about being uncomfortable. There's many different things that people are facing. We can't make a universal quote or motivational speech that fits everything. But it's like I want to think of it as if we believe in conspiracies and things like that, and I wish the dogs would fuck off. Move! Go to your bed, see the little rats. So for me, if we believe in conspiracies and things like that, the world one day might not be this, we might not have this much freedom to help people. We might not have freedom to give people hope. We might not have freedom to give people motivation. Life could be very different in five years, do you know what I mean? So what I kind of want to do with my podcast is leave as much of a guidebook and a textbook and a toolbook of what people can look at in different times of need for different things. We need to start living more like in that moment of what if there is people around Teesside right now that are so suicidal and we have this microphone that could try and get through to them. We need that urgency of right, let's spread some messages. Do you know what I mean? At the end of the day, what I live by is, a lot of the celebrities you see in that, a lot of them, like Oprah Winfrey, Oprah and Jim Carrey, a lot of celebrities have actually, they didn't have it all when they grew up. A lot of them had really bad lives actually. Oprah had a really bad childhood. I'm sure Jim Carrey was homeless and everything before he was famous. Fame isn't everything, but if you keep working at it and try to achieve all the goals that you want to achieve, things will improve over time. It's just about taking one step at a time because you might look at your life right now and be like, this isn't what I want to do or I'm not where I want to be right now, but if you keep working and taking it day by day, then eventually you will be closer to your goals. That's it, isn't it? It's starting, it's making that move. The same with this podcast. I was procrastinating it for years and it was like, right, if I start, it's only just going to get better and better. That's what I was discussing with Gabriel. I don't care if what we're talking about right now is absolute shite. I'm probably still 100% going to post it because right now we're learning. We've gone from being silly to finally being able to speak properly and it's like we've just learned what makes us nervous, how we act when we're nervous and how we can get into a real conversation. This is all part of the journey and this is the raw realness of it because people might listen to this podcast and they will literally see us go from being at the beginning to how we are now and it's like, whoa, that's actually showing how humans adapt and change. It's like within what, 26 minutes? Yeah. I think that as an overall message is quite important. I think just taking things a day at a time and when you've got goals and things, you've got to break them down into what steps and obviously just starting, even with my music and stuff, two or three years ago I didn't even have one song uploaded. You've got to do the work to eventually get there. Even now I look at my songs and I'm like, oh, that could be better or I want to do more things or more music videos but you've got to sit back and sometimes just appreciate what you have done and look back and reflect on what you have done and how you can improve because that's the only way you are going to get better. Do you know, I think you've just mentioned something really important there which you've got to think, it's normal for you to have goals because you've grew up with people that have gave you that perspective, goals are good to have but what you've just said there is having goals and breaking them down. Some people don't even have the goals to begin with. They haven't even got that structure in their life and I think what you've said, it's very important to have goals because not only to break them down and to have little things to go day by day but what you've just said there to also reflect if you are completing these small goals you can look back at your progress and be like wow I've done this, I've done this, I've done this and it really does help motivate you on to the next level. I think you have got to just stop, breathe and take a look back at what you have done because you can't appreciate where you're going until you look at and appreciate what you have done and where you've been because that's how it is, a journey My analogy on life is that each person's life is like a story it's like a book and everyone has a start and an end but everyone you meet and everything you do in your life is a chapter and a new page so that even if things don't work out with someone it's an interesting storyline like how I see it as just character development do you know what I mean? Even with this podcast for example we've literally developed ourselves we've grown our characters even though we've just done a half an hour podcast afterwards we're going to feel completely different to what we did before because we've just gained something new and it's all character building it's all an experience that's what it's all about it's gaining more experience and a bigger understanding of the world and eventually being more open minded as well I think it's always good to be open minded because at the end of the day everyone has their own views their own beliefs their own things and it's just about respecting each other and actually like you don't have to agree with what everyone thinks but at the same time it's about respecting each other's opinions and things because obviously if you're not showing respect for other people they're not going to respect you and it's treating others how you want to be treated yeah so how are you feeling now compared to the beginning of the podcast? feeling a bit dramatic feeling a bit pretty Gucci how do you feel about the next podcast we're going to do? I think the next podcast will be a lot better because we'll actually have something planned but other than that I think it's been fun just to sit and experiment and just test it out even though I've got a bit of a lisp right now it's definitely given me like it's definitely given me like slightly a bit of a passion a bit of a motivation inside of me that's like ooh this could end up being something like it's beginning finally you piece of shit at least I've got some free time now yeah what do you mean by free time? oh right yeah like what do you mean? but yeah hopefully me and Amy will be back for a real podcast this can just be like a little teaser for people this is how we start off with our ADHD and this is how we calm it towards the end and we work a dynamic out and it works for us both yeah so are we happy to leave are we happy to leave I know she's being real now it's only fucking took half an hour to get a voice that's what we're going to have to do isn't it like every time we do a podcast we're going to have to have you have like a fake 10 minute podcast and then start the podcast so you can just be like and then we're like right she's ready this is why we need sound effects though I feel like I just get my autism out with the sound effects I feel like but you are more wanting to be authentically the sound effect I feel like a button isn't going to do it for you I feel like you need to be the noise you need to be the dinosaur in the room you can actually make your own sound effects I know you can you can record them can't you but I still I feel like I feel like part of your ADHD though is like the impulse to be like do you know what I mean yeah it is well that's what I mean if a machine doesn't follow me you know what I mean is that going to take away the effects though do you know what I mean like is that going to take away the vocal effects I mean like you have to time it perfectly do you know what I mean like when it matches when the sound effect is needed you will probably end up just using the sound effect but making the same sound as the sound effect because you get used to it yeah like you are like meh meh I can see it now meh I can't I hope this relates to a different type of ADHD or what we have talked about in the past on the show because I feel like Amy is her own kind so maybe there are people out there that can relate more to her strange self we are like two different types of ADHD but then we have like a million similarities but then we have like a million differences at the same time that is true that is very true but guys we are going to leave it at that and send it over to Gabriel and hopefully we will get an A star and we can keep uploading for you but I am going to go and give Amy a special pill shout out to Gabriel she needs to go back to the centre now so I am just going to I am just going to quickly end it okay goodbye everyone goodbye