Episode 2 - EI Team Tip #4

The podcast episode discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in communication and building relationships. It provides 13 phrases that can be used to improve communication skills, such as "Could you tell me more about that?" and "I understand what you're saying, but..." It emphasizes the need for empathy, active listening, and diplomacy when dealing with difficult situations. The episode concludes by highlighting the value of emotional intelligence in the workplace and encouraging listeners to strive for personal growth. I'm your host, Laura Perez-Ehrhardt. Welcome to Coachonomics Presents Podcast, a part of the ECS Network. This is our mini-byte series. Tip number four is about reframing. Reframing conscious dialogue into your conversations with your colleagues, one-on-one with direct reports, with your team, or even your customers. Kathy and Ross Petras are co-authors of Awkward Moments, a lively guide to 100 terms smart people should know. These are 13 phrases they recommend that teams and leaders should use daily to build and strengthen relationships, diffuse conflict, improve overall job satisfaction, while building an emotionally intelligent and effective team. So, let's begin. Number one, could you tell me more about that? People who lack self-awareness only care about their own thoughts and opinions, but emotionally intelligent people are interested in how others feel and what they have to say. So, in this way, communicate it in a way that encourages people to talk about their feelings and experiences and use their responses as learning opportunities. Number two, when you say, I hear you, this is telling someone that you understand them. You set up a cooperative environment perfect for team building. Other similar phrases like, I see what you mean and I get what you're driving at, also signal that you're truly listening and it opens up the lines of communication. Number three, when you say, I understand what you're saying, but this phrase highlights another important aspect of emotional quotient. It's the ability to act diplomatically when dealing with difficult people and situations. So, if you disagree with someone, express it in a more tactful and non-confrontational way. The goal here is to make it easier to arrive to a mutually agreeable solution. Number four is, how do you feel about that? This makes people feel acknowledged and respected. Pay attention and take the time to understand and empathize with them. And as you listen, make an effort to put yourself in their shoes, in a meaningful way, of course. And number five, I'm not sure what's wrong. Could you explain the problem? With this phrase, you know that someone is having an issue and instead of reacting negatively to it, invite them to share more of their thoughts. That way you get more of an idea and the bigger picture of what's going on in their mind. After all, you're not a mind reader. A similar alternative might be, can you clarify that for me? Or what I'm hearing from you is X, Y, Z. Is that right? Again, it just helps to engage them without making anybody defensive. Number six is, what do you mean? When you're asking someone for clarification, you're asking them to say something in a different way, provide more context or more information so that you can understand them better. This is different from just asking the person to repeat themselves or to repeat something. And number seven, hey, great job. So, this is showing appreciation, which goes a long ways. It acknowledges other people's efforts and their accomplishments. So, when you compliment someone, you immediately set up a positive vibe. So, saying that I appreciate you makes others appreciate you even more. Think about that. Number eight, you both have good points here. Let's see how we can work together. This phrase can help you diplomatically work through troubled spots by acknowledging differing points of view. So, once you've encouraged everyone to share their concerns or their perspective, you can more easily solve a potential problem. And studies show that the ability to resolve conflict is a trademark of emotional intelligence. And number nine, I love your input on this. Here you're allowing someone else to feel proud of themselves, which makes them think very positive of you as well. And number ten, the situation makes me worried or confused or upset. When there's a problem, EI people don't focus on the person who created it, but the overall situation. And tip number three, if you recall on conflict resolution, I stated attack the problem, not the person. This way you're not blaming someone or putting them on the defensive. Instead, you're explaining how you feel about what happened or your perspective, which helps to avoid sounding passive aggressive or antagonistic on your end. And then number 11, hey, I feel this way about XYZ. When you're emotionally intelligent, you connect with your emotions as they happen in the moment. This type of self-awareness allows you to better share your own emotions and impressions with other people, which both makes them feel closer to you and encourages them to do the same. So, again, you want to be a model here. Or at least you're working on it. And number 12, saying, hey, I'm sorry. Having a healthy dose of humility is common among people with high emotional quotient. So, don't be afraid to say, I'm sorry. Own up to it. No big deal. When you make a mistake, admit it and genuinely apologize to whomever deserves it. And then finally, number 13 is don't forget to say thank you. These are magic words we were taught when we were kids to say, please, thank you, you're welcome, which are always appreciated. Common courtesy is sadly not that common these days, according to most studies. And being polite isn't only a mark of high emotional quotient, but it's also a way of showing respect for others, which makes them regard you more highly. So, to summarize, most leaders having a sense of control over aspects of work, team performance, goal attainment, it is important when dealing with circumstances and variables that are out of our control, such as remote and hybrid work settings, that make communication, interaction, and engagement a bit trickier for anything. However, like so many great duos, soft skills like emotional intelligence and hard skills like IQ are better together. They combine to create a well-rounded team of strong individual performers working together for a common goal. With the workplace becoming increasingly more diverse and varied, EI skills are more valuable now more than ever. So why wait to be your best? Well, we've reached the end of our episode. If you liked what you learned, share my podcast with your friends. You can also find me on LinkedIn, or on my website, epiphanyconsultingsolutions.com. Much appreciation to my listeners. Until next time, be well and stay safe.