Episode1 Childhood Trauma

The podcast episode discusses childhood trauma as a gateway drug. The hosts share personal experiences and examples of different types of trauma, such as abuse and neglect. They emphasize the importance of a loving and supportive environment for a child's growth. They also mention generational trauma and the need to break the cycle. The hosts talk about the impact of trauma on their own lives, including mental health struggles and body image issues. They highlight the power of therapy and personal growth. The episode concludes with a preview of future interviews with individuals who have also experienced childhood trauma. Okay, this is episode one, three parts, childhood trauma. Good afternoon, good day. My name is Wilbur Miller and I am here with Preston Buttrick, your teacher. Yeah. No partner, that's okay. We made it work. Yeah, we made it work. So in this whole podcast, we'll be talking about childhood trauma and how it's basically the gateway drug. A lot of people think it's marijuana, alcohol, but from my personal experiences and from what I've learned in life and my people that I know, it is childhood trauma that has been that gateway drug for them. So some examples I can say that I see with childhood trauma would be sexual, physical, mental abuse of any kind, you know, a parent in the household leaving neglectful, you know, not being there for their kid. That is a lot and it really damages the brain because a child really needs love to grow and be spontaneous in life and to really, they need someone there for them to be the person that they can rely on and love, you know? Yeah, no, I definitely agree with that. I know for me, my personal take on it was like also that like, I'm a child of divorce, so I actually can vouch for that. Like whenever I was growing up, it was, you know, divided between parents. Yeah, I see. Because my mother was an alcoholic and she still was. My father was an alcoholic. My mom, she's still an alcoholic to this day. And my mother and father split up and it was a lot of I had her side or my dad's side. And that really puts a divide in the child's mind of it's either mom and dad when in reality, it's both of them. They should both be working together to build that child up. And, you know, and a lot of times it's selfishness. A lot of times it's them figuring out, oh, well, do I want to be in this relationship with this person? But the thing is, is it's not about you anymore when you have that child. It's about the child and how that child is going to grow and what they're going to become and how you affect their lives. And I know I also had some, I have stories of people from my family that I will be adding in the end of the podcast to this one of their childhood trauma and how it kind of affected them and some of their traumas. And I know a big example I like to use in a gateway and how this really was a gateway is my mother. Because when my mother was younger, she was sexually abused throughout her entire childhood. And she, her mother wasn't there for her. She was neglected. It also kind of ties into a generational trauma. Exactly. I know with my older sisters, it started off with my great grandmother basically beating my grandmother, going into my grandmother belittling my mother, going from my mother belittling and beating my sisters. Yeah. And luckily, they're the ones right now, and honestly, I feel like it's with the generational type of thing, too. Millennials kind of are like the stopping point. Yeah. That they see that there is generational trauma in this. Yeah. Because... Time to stop it. Yeah. It's time for the child to actually grow up in a household, you know, where they don't question if they're loved or if, you know, if they have to choose mom or dad. Right. You know, they can have both. And it's not up to the parent. It's up to the child at the end of the day. And I really think childhood trauma is the gateway drug. Yeah. I would say. Yeah. No, definitely. I mean, I know for myself, I went through more, like, mental abuse than I did any physical because, well, for one, I'm a boy, so whenever it came to having parents that were, you know, my dad always told me, you know, toughen up, toughen up, toughen up. Yeah. Like, you gotta be a man. You gotta be a man. And I know one thing that actually really was the biggest trigger for me that I had to go through so much therapy for was whenever my dad split from my mom, he flat told me, okay, you're the man of the house now. That's something that you don't really want to tell a 13-year-old. Yeah, I know. I had a lot of, like, mental trauma with my mother because she was very, like, mentally abusive towards me and was like, you need to be the thinnest. You need to be the star. If you show your body, boys won't like you, you know, and that really affected the way I looked at men even to this day, how I look at other girls to this day, how I look at myself. Right. And it's gotten me into a lot of situations that I'm not proud of because that's what I was implied with ever since I was little was that I needed to be the smallest, you know, and that's not a healthy mindset to have for a child who's four years old and working out every single day of the week, you know? No, and, like, to kind of bounce off that, too, I know my wife actually went through the same exact thing that, like, you know, her mom, you know, was telling her. It's like, you know, you got to be skinny, you got to, you know, or even just, like, just flat out telling her, like, you look fat in that. Yeah. It's like... Like, oh, I see, like, I see the little, I see the chub, that's what my mom would say. Like, I see the roles building up, like, and it really does have an effect, even the words, you know, because a lot of people think words don't have effects, but it really does because words do have meaning, you know? And so does actions, you know, and a lot of people believe that some words don't mean things, and I really do think that words, you know, do, they really do hit you hard because they had to physically say it. They had to physically say it to your face because I remember my mom saying it to my face, and I was like, well, what did I do wrong, you know? Like, I'm working out every single day of the week, trying to be as skinny as possible for her, but it's never going to work. Yeah. You know, and it carries into your life, and, you know, I've had to go through, I've went through many therapy sessions where I've had to be like, you know, it's not me, I can't, I can't, you can't maintain that, you know, and you have to learn to be that bigger person because growing from trauma is one of the biggest things someone can do, in my opinion, and because it really, it affects so much. It affects the way you look at life, the way you look at people, you know, because I know my trauma made me very depressed. I was very sad. I was, you know, suicidal in mental hospitals, and it still affects me to like that this day, and I... You never know what small little triggers can happen. Exactly. I know the biggest thing with my wife was that like, you know, I didn't know the relationship that she had with her mom prior to meeting her. It wasn't until like I started saying some things, and it wasn't like anything about her, per se, but like that kind of sounded like they were directed at her, but they weren't. Yeah. Those little things can also kind of trigger. Yeah. Because you don't even realize it, because some things just come off, and you don't even think like, oh, that could be trauma to somebody, you know? Yeah. But I would say that's the best. I'd say that's it for episode one for right now, because then I'll add in the people like... So tell me about like what people you're going to have during this interview. Oh, okay. So I will be having... Sorry about that. No, you're good. I will be having my stepmother, Leslie. She had a lot of childhood trauma growing up with losing her brother at such a young age, and she was in middle school when that happened, and he was in high school. And her mother being abusive. I know I'm going to try to get my dad, but my dad sometimes isn't, you know, too open about it. But I know I will... Oh, my bad. Yeah. I know I'm going to get my grandpa, though, because he does have a lot of generational with his mother, and it really affected his life and the way he raised his kids, you know? And so my grandma, too. And I'm going to get my Aunt Tasha, because she is recently a... She's recovering right now. She's four months sober. Okay. And she had a lot of childhood trauma that led into her abuse, and I'm very proud of her for the road she's at now, you know? And I will also be talking with my older brother, Robert, who really turned his childhood trauma around into a beautiful life, and now he is a beautiful stay-at-home father. Okay. Yeah. All right. I think that's good. Sounds good. I don't know if that's good. I'll let that end to that track there. You're good.