New Recording 3

Bruce Crane, a deli worker, dreams of becoming Batman. He orders an expensive Batman costume but it turns out to be terrible. Undeterred, he decides to patrol Manhattan on Halloween night. He rescues a cat from a tree and then chases a thief, but trips and passes out. He wakes up to find his friends telling him he's become a local hero called the Bullet Ant Man. Bruce Crane's Miserable Feat to Fame by Marco Pera That'll be $10.99, sir, said Bruce Crane, the local 17-year-old deli worker. What? Last week it was $9.99. The short white man who happened to drop a bag full of white powder moments earlier said, Look, man, inflation's only going up. Do you want this sandwich or not? I only got a 10 on me. You got me this time, right? Fine. Whatever. But I'm not letting it slide for next time. As I handed this man his sandwich, I realized that he wasn't even a regular and that he was definitely a crackhead. I sat on my chair. The thoughts of getting out of this dreaded store began to fill my mind like all days previous. I thought about Batman, my favorite superhero, and how my life was extremely identical to Bruce Wayne. My name was even Bruce. I began to brainstorm for the next couple weeks on how I could become Batman. Talking to my friends about it left almost no hope. I'm Batman. I'm vengeance. Yeah, you're Batman. Totally. I see it. Hey, isn't it pretty ironic that a group of squid isn't called a squad? Wait, does that mean we're squid? Arthur uttered. My best friend since preschool. Look, Bruce, if anyone's going to be Batman, it's me. Arthur was a nerd and conspiracy theorist, not to mention a professional yapper. That seemed to be the topic of discussion when I was with my friends. Ted also hated the idea whenever it was brought up. Bruce, you're a smart kid. Don't waste energy or time on your dumb ideas. If you actually used your brain, you could solve world hunger. That day, before I went to sleep, I decided I had had enough. I was going to call the shots from now on. So, that's exactly what I did. I ordered the most expensive, high-tech Batman costume and stayed up late binge-watching every Batman and Dark Knight movie. I was shaking my boots from the excitement of becoming Batman. The next day after school in the deli, I got a call during the middle of my shift. I don't recognize this number. Hello? Hey, Batman. I was shocked. Hello? Who are you? Relax, Batman. It's virtual. Oh, it's just you. You scared me. Wait, how'd you find out about the Batman thing? I exclaimed. Well, I'm currently standing in front of what looks like a Batman costume from Party City. It's not from Party City! I yelled. Bruce, you're gonna look great in this costume. You gotta see this when you get home. I hung up. My heart felt uneasy. Virtual was my guardian ever since my parents died. But to be honest, he was the closest thing I've ever known to a parent. I believe the uneasiness came from the fear and thrill that was soon to be bestowed upon me. When I went home that night, I was petrified. Laying in front of me was the most hideous suit that I've ever seen. I wasn't even able to call it a Batman suit. It was a costume. The fast realization that I had just been scammed out of $2,000 began to set in as I tried the costume on. The suit looked like Ant-Man instead of Batman. This looks so much better online, I exclaimed. I decided I didn't care. Terrible looking suit or not, I was gonna save the city from its crime and misery. They think I'm hiding in the shadows. I am the shadows. You're sounding more like if Batman had a talking cat every day, Bruce, Arthur exclaimed. I'm Batman. Look, Bruce, just because you wanna dress up as Batman for the spooky season does not mean you have to completely replicate everything about him. You're wrong about this, Arthur. I promise you I'm gonna protect the city, I said back. Bruce, your costume looks like a big bullet ant. Arthur replied. No matter what people thought, I didn't care. The day where I would embark on my journey was here. New York City, October 31st, 8pm. The city was dark, gloomy, and eerily quiet. As I was about to leave, I was stopped by the door. Have fun, Wolverine, Bertram stated. I'm not... I'm not Wolverine, I'm Batman, Bertram. Oh, right. My dearest apologies, Batman. Well, have fun protecting the city, Bertram stated as I left the door. I decided I was gonna patrol all of Manhattan for the entire night. There would be no crime on my watch. For the first hour, it was quiet. The faint laugh and background noise of people filled the city. I had trained to see in the shadows, where no one would be able to find me. Meow, meow. A cat? As I glanced up at the nearest tree, there a black cat stood. Don't worry, kitty, I'll get you down. As I climbed the tree, I thought about how this was a good start to the night, even though it was a simple cat. I grabbed the cat and gently brought it down to the ground. Well, not a bad start to the night, I exclaimed. As I continued patrolling upper Manhattan, three hours into my shift, I suddenly heard a man exclaim, Hey, nice costume, kid. I instantly turned around, yet to no presence. A large chill ran down my spine. My heart beats faster, so fast I could hear it in my ears. Who said that and where were they? I began to think. I need to get out of the area and go to a new block, when suddenly I heard a door jingle and a man down the street yell, Hey, stop! Stop you! Come back! Here, give that back! The store owner cried out. A man dressed in all black ran past me. Nice costume, kid. Yelled the man as he ran past me. Batman, do something! Get him! The store owner shouted. This was my time. I began chasing the thief in full pursuit, sprinting down alleys and dark tunnels. Rain began to pour. You're not Batman, you're the bulletin! The thief yelled. I was infuriated, adrenaline pumping through my blood. I had almost caught up to him, but then in the split of a second I tripped, straight onto my face. I blacked out. Unaware of the time and where I was, I woke up in my bed, slowly regaining my consciousness. I opened my eyes to find Ted and Arthur grinning at me. What happened? A person found you passed out in an alleyway, four blocks down at midnight. He thought you had died, Arthur stated. Well, we do have good news. Watch this, Ted said. As I glanced over to my left, Ted clicked play on what appeared to be a newscast. My eyes began to widen as I slowly read what was written at the bottom. Heroic Batman saves Cat from Tree and attempts to stop Burglar becoming the new Manhattan sensation known as the Bullet Ant Man. Looks like you proved us wrong, Bullet Ant Man. I'm Bullet Ant Man.