Pickle Ball Epidemic

The speaker notices a new epidemic in the U.S. called pickleball, which they see as an example of white people going overboard. They share a personal experience of being kicked off a basketball court for a pickleball league. The speaker comments on their friend's obsession with pickleball and compares it to their friend's obsession with frisbee golf and dog agility events. They criticize the professionals in these sports and suggest that these alternative sports are created to counter the dominance of black people in traditional sports. Last time I was in the U.S. I noticed there's a new epidemic happening and it's called pickleball. It has completely taken over all aspects of American life. Another example of white people going overboard on something. In fact, I got kicked off a basketball court at a rec center because there was an elderly women's pickleball league about to start. My bad. Why would I even think to use the court for hoops? The funny thing is, if you think about it, you already knew which friend was going to get way too into pickleball. It's the same friend that bought a putter for frisbee golf. Look, I like frisbee golf, but I don't need a nine club set and a professional course. Just give me that frisbee that's been on my neighbor's roof for years, faded and waterlogged. Grab the bong, pick a tree or mailbox that's 200 yards away and let's compete, people. I don't need a frisbee specific to quote unquote driving. Hell, if you're supplying the weed, I'll go ahead and ratchet up the whiteness and throw in a hacky session after the round. It's also your friend who bought matching uniforms for him and his dog for dog agility events. Take it easy, bro. We get it. You have European ancestry. Why don't you just go outside and throw your little five star athlete a stick? I guarantee you little Sparky will be happy as F. And to those professionals that are proud of their high ranking nationally, quit acting like you're Michael Jordan just because you're destroying a few privileged white middle class dudes in your made up sport. It's like me saying I'm top 10 nationally in the 32 meter dash. That's right, 6.8 seconds, people, because no one else and no minorities give a fuck about that distance. We had tennis, we had racquetball, even badminton. We did not need another racquet sport. All these new alternative sports, it's like white people are saying, look, black folk, you want to keep taking over our sports? Well just make more. We'll just keep embedding new shit so we can feel the sensation of winning occasionally. Look black people, if you can't stop dominating, we're going to have to go ahead and make the official uniform khaki pants. Look what you did now.