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cover of BB EP 2 - Audio - V1 - Tyler
BB EP 2 - Audio - V1 - Tyler

BB EP 2 - Audio - V1 - Tyler

Tyler Stigliano

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00:00-37:45

Ballers Balled EP 2 - Tyler's Rough Cut

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Okay. I cannot wait to see Basketball City. I've heard rumors of the King of Basketball and his home, his city, his throne, and I'm excited to see it. He was just driving a golf cart. It was a little weird they weren't acknowledging you as the king, but you know, that's okay. That's fine. Yeah. Wow. Now, is, is that the Gatorade, the Gatorade gym I see? Wow. I think for Gatorade to really get behind, you know, Basketball City, and you know, just the story of the Baller's Ballad, and this, like, Gatorade wench right there, I think this is beautiful. It's Miss Judy Gatorade, wow. That's, that's, I saw that. And I was like, this is, this is good, because you can never have enough vert jump, you know? Like, I think that's what makes a good basketball player, is just being able to jump so high. So are there, is there, like, a good, like, warlock distribution here? Like in this fantasy, I'm assuming magic exists here because of Skeleton Man. And then he just bends that sweet and sour milk to all the patrons of the Gatorade gym. Good, now those are, those are good colors. Those are the best colors of Flavorator, like the green, foggy white, and purple. I mean, if, if this was me, just being able to lift that off of the ground, I think would be an accomplishment in and of itself. I, yeah, that's a lot of wrist strength, like my wrists would just snap. Yeah no, that, that was, that was a good workout, I think. Do you get to take Gatorade breaks in between these workouts? Your skinny jeans and your tight, tight t-shirt. Do you scrap? It takes more muscle control, I think. Just imagine, just imagine you're in the middle of a game, you know, and they expect you just to be running full speed, and you just come out jogging. They're going to be thrown off, it's the trick. It's definitely Miles. So that person in the background, I see that he's also wearing the King's apparel. I saw him- Yeah, now that makes sense. I'm, I'm just looking forward to all of those dunks you're going to be making in this first game. You know, I'm just, I'm excited to see the vert leap that you get in these games. So your character is like 6'3", right? And that's half his height, so that's like a three foot, three foot jump, that's pretty high. Oh, because they don't, they have that rule against short kings, they don't allow them in basketball. You know what I'm glad about is I knew your real height, and not your character's height. Yeah, that is. Oh fuck, this is the King's deed. Yeah. Can you grind that rail? Nice. I'm, no, I'm ready, like, you're good, you got that pre-workout for the real workout, I'm ready to see some basketball. Yeah, I don't, what happens here, like, who is this guy, like, what does he do for you? That's a cool handshake, that was a cool handshake. That's a fine. I didn't know people liked basketball, to be honest, because I mean, I don't know, I don't watch it. Yeah. Do you, do you think basketball is really this intense, like, people get, like, they want that fire content, you know, like, that's their spiel when they play basketball, that's all they do it for. I like how they give you the option to be lawful good or chaotic evil, I think those are great, like, real good extremes. You can just jump through those hoops, you know, like, you just jump in the air, three pointer, done, I think that's how it works. You know, what's also funny here is that he said he didn't want to make fire content, and he's actually making fire content by being kind of a dick. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. How many, how many likes you got on that? How many, how many views you got on that fire content? That's a thousand mile stare. He was like the thumb. Okay, now his, his name is Thumbeline, and he is the jester of the court, I think. Okay. You don't need to strategize, I think, as long as you're just thinking those, those nasty threes, I don't think you really have to care what your teammates do or think. I don't know how to play it either, so I think it's going to be really fun when these episodes are progressively shorter as you have no actual game time because you are benched for the entire game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so there's no, like, how do you pass? How do you shoot? What do you? Well, you're winning. Well, at least you're winning right now. So is there no option just to, like, do a mad dunk? Huh. Huh. I mean, you know, the, the, the king's song is just warming up, I bet. I, I think if I did... I think each person needs to guard someone, but you're just all over the place because the king doesn't follow the rules, you know? Huh. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. That's fine. No one needs to know. I mean, this is just the, the Summer Solstice game, so is it really even that important? I don't either. Oh, there... I think that was your villain who just scored a point. Huh. Rockin' that D+. Huh. I, I am in shock and awe that there, there are really no instructions on what to do. Like, does, are you pressing buttons to shoot the ball or pass it? Huh. I, no, hey, you, you're not wrong. Ooh, buckets. Fuckin', that was a nasty bucket. I... Hey, you're rockin' a C-, so... Nice, and your team's winning, and, you know, that's all that matters. I really wonder how long it took the, the writers of this game to come up with Trailblazer instead of, like, Dark Assassin, Chaotic Evil... The, the villain, like, obviously the, the red one's the villain option, and you just wanna be, like, as rude as possible the entire game. I really wonder how long it took them to get Trailblazer. Heh. Nah. No, man, I think that was a good, like, that was a good thunderstep, you know? Like, you got that ball, you shot out lightning, and it just didn't work out, but... I think it was good. It was fire. That was a pretty good dunk, though. I haven't seen you do a dunk yet, I'm lookin', I'm lookin' forward to that, that nasty vert leap. People just love, love bouncin' that ball. They love that, they love watchin' that ball bounce. Oh, yeah. No, you're a C now, you're, you're... The elusive B. Heh. I, I think one of the upcoming episodes is gonna be called The Bench Warmer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if the crowd is just booing this entire time. Like, I remember that, remember that lady in the very beginning? She's like, oh, I hate you. I bet she's in the crowd right now. Where is the ref? Why were those nerds on laptops in the back? I thought basketball was, you know, no nerds allowed. You fuckin' rolled a, like, a 15 on an intimidation check. He's ready to go. Everyone's scared. Heh. Yeah. I'm surprised you don't have the ball, like, they just don't all give you the ball immediately. Yeah. What is it, what does it mean when your bar is blinking red? Heh, what is it, what was her name? Lady Gatorade? Judy Gatorade? Just fuckin'... I just imagined Judy Gatorade just fuckin' hawking Gatorade bottles at people. Heh. You got zero in something. Oh, it's gone. Well, the thing is, the best defense is a really good offense, I think. That and, like, with some Gatorade, you don't need a defense. Heh. Yeah. Does this game use real characters? Heh, oh, you're faster than C+. What a rollercoaster. Heh, D for Disappointment. You just wanted to cast a spell, man. You just wanted to cast that spell, be the king of basketball, and, you know, do a nasty... to hot hands. Heh. Heh, friends whose names you don't know. Oh. Do you think your girlfriend's in the stands right now? Do you think she's embarrassed? Heh, do you think it's gonna give a D+. Oh, okay, so you're only down in the red a little bit, not, like, completely in the red. Heh. Heh. Give me that leather bowling ball. Do you think by the end of this you'll know their names, or now you're just gonna... the king doesn't need to know. Heh, I was just gonna say, you have a lot of time on that bench to learn these guys' names. Um, you should... Heh. I think once you learn to dunk, I think you should really focus on that. Just every shot you can make, you dunk it. And you just be the dunk king. Heh. No, I watched you build those stats, and I'm surprised you haven't jumped above the basketball hoop yet. Yeah, okay, no, I get that. Heh. Heh, my player. I wonder... that was an intern project, I bet. Like, hey, stupid intern. How are you gonna find the player on the field? Put a little arrow above him. My player. Heh. That should've been yours. Is that... I mean... Heh. This isn't even like the real season, this is the summer season. And you're... and you're D-plusing it. You're just... they're giving you the chance to shine, you're just rocking that D-plus. Heh. Should you be covering a character? Like another... Heh. Heh. I wonder if... I won... I won... I wonder if there's a way to put a tutorial mode on this game with, like, help buttons? Like, it's like most mo... Heh, no. Heh. Just hit everyone. There's been, like, four or five fouls. Heh. Heh. I wonder... I wonder if you can get lower than a D-plus. It seems like you've been chilling on the D-plus for a while. I thought it was Cs get degrees. Heh. Heh. But... oh. Hm. Heh, yeah, that's the excuse we're gonna use for this one. Heh. Well, I mean, you had the option to make a tall character, but you wanted to be a realistic, you know, a realistic character. No, I... And you don't want to become the king. Heh. Why did you... oh, you got lower than a D-plus. Okay, so it can get lower. Nice. Oh, it's the... stumbling the court jester. Yeah, nope. We want this mad dog wizard on our team. And you're just letting him down. Well... Heh, yeah, that's... that's unfair. I think that's cheating. Heh. I think one of the plus sides of you having a D right now is that you and the court jester are gonna get to know each other really well on the bench, I think. Oh, oh. Judy is gonna, like, just ears and knees, like, smacking down on Judy. Like, hey, give me that Gatorade. Sup, court jester. What are you doing? You enjoy that? There... There hasn't... There hasn't been a lot of fire content. I don't know what that guy was talking about earlier. What do those numbers and letters at the bottom of the screen mean? You gotta, like, hear... You should probably figure that one out. Oh, yeah, I was thinking, like, touchdown, but... Too offensive. Too offensive. I... So, I went to a basketball game when I was a child, but I never... I didn't make it to the end, so I don't know how these games really end. That's weird. Oh, that guy just slapped you. That guy just slapped you in the face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You would think... You would think that you would at least practice one so they would know who you are before basketball actually started. Oh, man. Here's the beef. Well, I mean, you did pick the chaotic evil alignment, so, you know, this is, I think, expected. That was some pretty fire content you just made right there. Yeah. No, no, you're right. I don't think so. These are just numbers. You know, basketball is a game of the heart. You know, you play with your heart. Good. Honestly, you made a commitment at the beginning to say, you know what, defense is for cowards, and you really held true. Yeah. My brand. I bet you're really going to fuel the Basketball City economy with all that, all those gold pieces they just gave you. Wow. Well, that sure was, that was something. Yeah. I think it means you didn't do good, and that Judy Gatorade is going to be your new best friend. Someone, someone who doesn't know how to play basketball. What was that movie with the sneakers that made the kid jump real high? Air Mike? Was it? It does. That movie. It was like Mike, you just need to get a good pair of shoes, man. And you're the king, so honestly, what are they going to do? Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that is, that is really impressive. Well. Well, I'll be honest, it was very hard to watch, but hey, we saw Gatorade Judy was there, and you know, fumbling the court jester. I think if you can get the Like Mike shoes for the next game, I think that would really set you apart from the rest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I think they need a strong king so that, you know, war doesn't arrive at basketball. See, that was my biggest fear right now, is that, you know, invaders attack, and the king just can't defend because he got a D plus in his first game. Wow. That... Wow. I can't get out. This was a beautiful verse on the baller's ballad, and I look forward to the next D plus you get playing basketball. Yeah. The D's don't get degrees, episode three.

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